Running out of the darkness

My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007. Sharon was my soulmate really. We were married for 20 years. The cancer progressed throughout her body until 2015 unfortunately I lost her. I was pretty much good for nothing as soon as it happened. Work were very good with me. I took almost a year off work because I just I pretty much couldn't function. I moved to Boston after college. I had left a tight-knit community, and I found myself in a new place without any friends, without any community. I was very lonely. I felt very depressed. I was sad all of the time. In 2009, I had a relationship breakup, and it was quite a shock. I wasn't expecting it. I was in a really dark place, and I was having some suicidal thoughts. And I thought to myself, I needed to do something to sort of... Snap out of it because I was really worried about my mental health and everybody was talking about running and what a good thing that was for mental health and physical health. Saw the Boston Marathon on television and decided that I was going to change everything about my life. I was going to run a marathon and I started running the next day and it's changed everything. I managed to get a ballot place in the London Marathon 2014. I ran that for Cancer Research UK. And then, yeah, pretty much got addicted to running again. Running is probably the only time that I can really clear my mind. Sharon's always on my mind. That's never going to stop. She influences everything I do, even today. But it gives me moments of clarity. It was my outlet, my therapy, really. First time I went for the run, for the first time in many, many months, I actually felt a little bit better. And the first time I did the London Marathon, I've never felt so close to people and the support I got. I was really tearful, but in a good way this time rather than in a negative way. When you're depressed, the things that make you feel better are a strong community, a strong support network, physical activity, and if medical intervention isn't an option, those are all great things to start with. I would suggest getting out the door. Go for a run, and if you think the majors is your goal, then don't stop until you get there. Just keep on believing. keep running if you can do more exercise even just by walking going on a treadmill even if you just walk down the road and back putting a pair of running shoes on just take your time it's amazing that over time how you start to believe in yourself again grief is such an individual thing it is so difficult to Find your own way of dealing with it and that's all I'd say to anybody really is find your way. I found my way. Being here in Tokyo for my six star is just something initially that I never would have expected and to be here in Tokyo so far away from home still with thoughts of Sharon and all the friends that have supported me along the way just overwhelming really yeah I can't wait for Sunday and to have that medal in my hand. Here I am, in Tokyo, trying for number six. I've trained hard, I've worked hard, and I'm excited to be here, I'm grateful to be here, and I'm hopeful that this time tomorrow, I will be holding my six star. I've traveled all this way on my own from the UK. I just feel fantastic, and so this has been my dream, and hopefully on Sunday when I complete that six star medal, it's gonna be worth more than anything in the world. I started out on this journey with Sharon, my late wife, by my side. And today I feel like she's still there and it's just a culmination of a long really tough journey and I'm just elated to have finished it. Oh my god it's really going to happen, it's really going to happen. I feel incredibly grateful, I feel very proud. It's a community effort, I feel so lucky to have the people in my corner. I feel very lucky. This means so much and it's quite emotional. It's life-changing, life-changing experience and I'd recommend anybody with any sort of illness That this is the way to change your life around and just be so proud of what you can achieve.