Researchers discovered this TK lesson lead to happier adults

It is 90 minutes after the hour of study. A recent study found that a simple preschool lesson about handling big feelings resulted in happier adults. Researchers from Penn State's Department of Psychology began studying a group of four-year-olds in Head Start classrooms 23 years ago. Students learned a calming exercise that taught them to stop, take a deep breath, and name the problem and the feeling they were facing. When researchers followed up with those kids 20 years later, Those students reported fewer conduct problems, less depression and loneliness, and a better feeling of well-being compared to their counterparts who did not receive the feeling lesson. To talk about the importance of teaching young kids how to manage their feelings, we're joined by Caitlin Soleil, a Bay Area family therapist. Caitlin, thanks for joining us this morning. Thanks for having me. All right, so Caitlin, let's talk about it. How can a tool that simply shows up, you know, like what we just discussed here, show lower depression and loneliness over a 20-year period? I know. I think this is such an interesting study. The thing that really stands out to me as a therapist and a mother is this idea that when we do teach kids the skills that they need to first understand a feeling or name their feelings at a really young age, it matters. And so all of those parents who are doing that good work, it's hard work. and teachers and educators is so important. Just as simple as, you know, I think in the study they did a really simple name the feeling, where do you feel it in your body, and like kind of pause exercise. And that is such an important foundation for going on to understand emotions and how to deal with them later on in life. You know, Caitlin, studies show, you know, reading and math advantages famously fade within a few years. But these particular emotional skills lasted into adulthood. Why are emotional skills so much, you could say, stickier than early academics? I think that's a very nuanced question, right? But I think one of the things that stands out to me the most is that we are wired to want to be able to connect with others and to want to understand why we feel the way we do and how to deal with our feelings. And so when we get these tools that are taught to us at a young age, when we teach children this at a young age in a really simple way, a way that they can understand, there's like a high desire for them to hold on to that, right? And I think when we're able to practice that or remind them of how to practice that throughout the years, they get a lot of like positive reinforcement for that, right? Their friendships improve, probably their performance in school and with teachers improve. So there's a lot of like positive reinforcement coming back when kids learn the skill and then can practice it. So I think that's what kind of makes it sticky, more sticky, I should say. This is not something that, you know, was maybe around 30, 40 years ago for many, many of us grown adults here. And right now we see a lot of people facing the loneliness epidemic. In your practice, I wonder if you're seeing adults who struggle the most missed out on these fundamental skills when they were young. That is such a good point. And yes, yes to all of that. I think that the adults, I especially work with a lot of women and moms and the adults that I see in my practice are teaching their kids these skills that they didn't necessarily get as children. And so it's such an interesting parallel. They're having to sort of relearn, or I should say, learn for the first time, reparent themselves, and then teach their kids at the same time. And a lot of their struggle comes with not understanding or not having had this foundation of how to actually deal with a big feeling or an emotion in the first place. So I think this is really important work we're doing here. What I'm seeing here, surprisingly, kids that face the most severe childhood hardships and trauma, they actually gained the most in empathy and sociability. Why did this work as such a buffer against early adversity here for these kids? I think that it worked as a buffer against early adversity for a lot of kids because they were able to, I mean, in the most simple kind of way to say it, utilize this really important skill to protect them, right, from the emotional effects of whatever it is they're going through. So if they didn't have this coping mechanism, then, you know, they're really stuck just kind of internalizing these difficult feelings. And like we said, kind of growing up then years later to not understand how to deal with them and how to cope with them. So this early foundation obviously can't take away trauma it can't get rid of the negative effects of trauma but can act as a buffer and a helpful way to kind of to help kids frame their experience and deal deal with the effects of them so what would you tell parents now to help their uh kids uh build lifelong emotional uh foundations uh as they get older in life so they know how to deal with with some of the hardships that come along with life i would say to do the work to try and understand how to teach your kids these skills if you know maybe start with this simple thing ask them what they've learned about it in school because a lot of schools especially our public schools have some amazing social emotional toolkits and so we want to kind of start there what did you learn in school about how to deal with the feeling because you want to be using that same language right so then you and the school can be using the same language and so that's a really great foundation start small maybe read a book about how to deal with the feeling that's one of my favorite recommendations um and just keep going from there, it's not a one-time conversation. It isn't. All right, Caitlin Soleil, Bay Area Family Therapist. Thank you so much for joining us and providing your insight into this. We really appreciate your time this morning. Thank you. All right.