[MULTISUBup]EP15/33 嫁金釵 Where the Mask Ends|Tian Xi Wei/Yan An|杨龙执导|周末编剧|田曦薇/闫桉领衔主演|王一楠/尹文萱/毛林林/孔琳/恬妞/代高政/杨青/李佑川/潘珺雅等特别出演|优酷

好剧世界 X-Drama
756 位粉絲
385 觀看·2026年10月22日
ADAPTED FROM JIA JIN CHAI, ORIGINAL NOVEL BY XIAOJIAREN ON JINJIANG LITERATURE CITY
Greetings, Noble Lady Wu'an.
Lord Lu came about an old case
and visited the Court of Justice late at night.
I made an exception and pulled the case files from 16 years ago.
What case?
Sixteen years ago, during the Lantern Festival,
the young daughter of the Earl of Cheng'an's second branch,
Wei Rao, was kidnapped and trafficked.
Afterward, her wet nurse and guards fled in fear of punishment.
On their way to South Mountain, bandits killed them.
His Majesty was furious.
He ordered the Court of Justice to handle the case.
He also sent troops to search the entire city,
but there was no news.
Not until May the following year,
when the Wei family
found the girl at a market after she'd been missing for a year.
What was she wearing
the day she was kidnapped?
At the time,
Lady Wei Rao was barely two.
She wore a crimson brocade robe with cloud patterns,
a white fox cloak, and little white silk socks,
with red silk shoes with upturned toes.
She wore a gold-and-jade Longevity Lock,
engraved with "Long Life"
and "Endless Blessings".
LONG LIFE, ENDLESS BLESSINGS
This is the one.
Then who is the Lady Wei Rao at Xianzhuang?
How could something so bizarre and horrifying happen?
Who are you? Why are you sneaking around out there?
Spare me, My Lord. Your Ladyship.
I thought this courtyard was abandoned,
so I came looking for valuables.
So you're a thief!
You recognized him as Lord Lu at once,
and I as Noble Lady Wu'an.
You're clearly no common thief.
Much appreciated, sir.
Please take him back to the Court of Justice
and question him thoroughly.
No need to ask, Your Ladyship.
The Court of Justice
has plenty of ways to deal with petty thieves.
Your Ladyship, forgive me! Please!
I lied! I'm not a thief!
I-I-I'm…
Escort the Deputy Justice out.
Everyone else, wait outside the courtyard.
Yes.
Your Ladyship, my name is Lv Lun.
I'm a steward at the Earl of Cheng'an's estate.
My wife is surnamed Chang. She once served Lady Guo.
Three days ago, my wife fled the residence,
but someone murdered her.
Who killed her?
The fake Lady Wei Rao at Xianzhuang!
How do you know she's an impostor?
My wife discovered the truth about her identity,
and was killed and silenced.
I also know what really happened back then.
Rather than live in fear every night,
waiting to be murdered,
I chose to risk coming to you, Your Ladyship.
I only hope this can atone for my crimes
and spare my life, Your Ladyship!
Tell me everything you know.
Leave nothing out.
If you lie about a single word,
I'll break every bone in your body, one by one!
I wouldn't dare! Every word I say is true.
It was Wei Heng'e.
She hated Second Madam Zhou…
No. She hated Lady Li for abandoning her daughter and remarrying.
She bribed the wet nurse and guards
to deliberately abandon Lady Wei Rao.
My wife saw it all herself.
Over a year later,
Lady Li couldn't bear losing her daughter.
She kept searching everywhere.
To keep His Majesty from blaming the Earl of Cheng'an's family,
Wei Heng'e came up with another vicious plan.
She found a girl of similar age and appearance
to take Lady Wei Rao's place.
Your Ladyship, I can testify
that the Wei Rao at Xianzhuang is an impostor.
You, Your Ladyship,
are the true daughter of the Earl's family.
We have both witnesses and evidence.
What's on your mind?
No.
No, something's wrong.
There are still too many things that don't add up.
Finding two young girls who look nearly identical
and are about the same age is hard enough.
Yet all these years,
Wei Heng'e has treasured her brother's only daughter.
For this fake Wei Rao,
she even found a substitute bride.
That makes no sense at all.
Jundai and I
do look very much alike.
Wei Heng'e and your birth father…
were twins.
- Jundai is her daughter. - Jundai is her daughter.
I'm going to the Earl of Cheng'an's Residence.
I need to see Old Madam Wei.
Right now.
I know how to handle this.
You should return to camp, My Lord.
Don't let me delay matters of state.
Zhao Song.
Go with her to the Wei Residence. Take more men with you.
- Yes, My Lord. - Zhao Bai.
Pick 200 elite soldiers from the camp.
- I have another use for them. - Yes.
- My Lord, that maid Bitao… - Tell me on the way.
Lady Li,
the men sent to fetch Madam Qiao are back.
They were ambushed on the way.
Madam Qiao and the other two are missing.
Who else would dare
abduct them in broad daylight but her?
So young, yet so brazen!
Has the Empress Dowager's procession left the palace?
Don't worry, Lady Li. Aman went to check.
Lady Li,
the Empress Dowager's royal carriage is already 20 miles outside the city.
The Empress and the other consorts went with her.
Good.
All that patience wasn't for nothing.
I've finally lived to see this day.
The Empress Dowager has gone to the hot springs for treatment.
Now I can cut out this rot without holding back.
By the time she returns to the capital,
it'll all be over.
Prepare the carriage. I'm leaving the palace.
- Yes. - Yes, Your Ladyship.
EARL OF CHENG'AN'S RESIDENCE
Those two pretty girls were just playthings to pass the time.
Not worth upsetting Mother this much.
I've already moved them out of the residence.
They're fragile ladies.
Weak and delicate.
Losing support all at once,
they are bound to struggle to get by.
I understand.
GRACE OF AUTUMN, HEART OF VIRTUE
As for their expenses,
I'll find an excuse
to pay them from the household account.
With a wife like you, what more could I ask for?
It's simply my duty.
Oh, right.
Lady Chun had abdominal pain for half the night last night.
We called a physician, but he couldn't find the cause.
You should go check on her.
She's always throwing tantrums.
If everyone were as sensible and understanding as you,
I'd have far fewer headaches.
Farewell, My Lord.
I'll go see her.
My back…
This is really getting in the way.
Brother.
Can't you see your brother can barely move?
You're a grown woman. How can you still be so reckless and rude?
Rude.
Yufeng, save me! Yufeng, please save me!
Get up first. Come on.
You may leave.
Yes.
Yufeng, I just saw Noble Lady Wu'an.
She brought a man here under guard.
I sent men to find out why.
She actually has a witness and evidence
proving she's the real Wei Rao.
I'd had my suspicions before.
After all, she looks…
But strange things happen in this world.
Two people looking alike isn't that unusual.
Besides, back then,
that child was clearly dead.
She's dead!
We all saw it with our own eyes.
Could it be
that the dead really can come back to life?
Yufeng… She's really back.
She's come back! You have to help me.
If you refuse to save me now,
a truly catastrophic disaster awaits us!
There's always a way out. Don't panic.
But she…
Zhou Fu and I were sisters-in-law for years.
I know her better than anyone.
She's clever.
Too clever for her own good.
People who are proud
and strong-willed
are often stubborn and determined to have their own way.
All these years in the palace,
she's lived in luxury, above everyone else.
Now she can't stand anyone defying her.
GRACE OF AUTUMN, HEART OF VIRTUE
Use that weakness to your advantage.
It's just…
Yufeng, you have another way?
It's a vicious plan.
It may bring bad karma.
Forget it. Pretend I said nothing.
Hey…
Yufeng, I'll do whatever you say.
As long as you can save me,
I'll give you anything you want.
- Yufeng… - No. We really can't.
Yufeng, we're out of time!
Just tell me what to do.
Works or not, I'll take full responsibility.
I won't drag you into this.
And for the rest of my life,
I'll never forget what you've done for me.
Since it's come to this,
we might as well try.
Whether it works is up to fate.
Who's there?
It's me, Grandmother.
You're sick too.
Didn't the physician tell you to get plenty of rest?
I don't need you tending to me.
Go back and rest.
I've been confined to the Wei family since childhood,
so I never had the chance to be close to you.
Now that I finally have this chance,
I only wish to stay by your side every day.
How could caring for you ever be a burden?
Grandmother, you don't look well.
At my age…
A few aches and fevers are inevitable.
But today, for some reason, I feel especially drowsy.
I have no strength at all.
Perhaps you've caught a chill. We shouldn't take it lightly.
Lie down and rest, Grandmother. I'll fetch the physician.
All right.
Take good care of her.
- Yes. - Yes.
Go tell Grandmother I'm here.
I have matters to discuss.
Young Master, Old Madam has taken a chill.
She suffers from headache and fever, and has remained in a deep sleep.
I didn't dare disturb her.
That's strange.
She's always been in excellent health.
She climbed the whole mountain at Double Ninth without stopping.
How did she suddenly fall ill?
Has a physician seen her?
The physician took her pulse.
He said a chill had weakened her vital energy.
He prescribed Cinnamon Twig Decoction to dispel the chill.
Then I'll come back later.
Has Wei Rao been here?
Yes, Young Master.
Physician Wang first wanted to prescribe Ephedra Decoction.
Young Lady called him an incompetent old fool.
She said sweating is in need of Cinnamon Twig Decoction.
Then Physicians Li and Zhang confirmed the diagnosis
before Old Madam took the medicine.
Young Lady stayed with Old Madam until she'd taken her medicine.
She's certainly attentive.
- Tell me as soon as Grandmother wakes. - Yes.
HERON LODGE
Aunt Heng'e, I've cleared every obstacle from your path.
Don't disappoint me.
Lu Zhuo. I won't let you ruin my plans again today.
It's time to end this once and for all.
Wait!
Lady Li!
Make way for Lady Li! Anyone blocking her procession gets 100 lashes!
Lower your head!
Lady Li.
Someone from the Earl of Cheng'an's family seeks an audience.
Lady Li! I have something urgent to report.
I'm from the Wei family. I'm Wei Heng'e!
So it really is an old acquaintance.
It's been 16 years.
It truly has been a long time.
Let her through.
Wei Heng'e greets Lady Li.
Wei Heng'e.
I remember how you always had a rule for everything.
If a widowed sister-in-law grieved too deeply,
she was inconsiderate to her elders and called unfilial.
If she'd cried herself dry and had no tears left,
she was called heartless.
If she consulted a male physician,
you'd gossip behind her back
and call her shameless.
Clearly, you hold proper conduct above all else.
Then you should know
the Imperial Family has its dignity.
Anyone who disrupts a royal procession
cannot be easily pardoned.
Now I'd like to know
what could be so important
that you had to barge into my procession.
If your reason isn't good enough, you'll get 100 lashes.
There's no getting out of that.
Everything I did before
was because I was blind and foolish.
I offended you, Lady Li.
I'll gladly take the lashes.
I only ask for your mercy.
But this concerns Noble Lady Wu'an.
It concerns your own daughter.
Please hear me out.
For my late brother's sake,
please grant me this favor.
Let the Wei family come along.
South Mountain isn't far from the capital.
This close to the Emperor, it should be peaceful.
So why can't these few bandits be wiped out?
The bandits of South Mountain have long plagued the court.
His Majesty has sent troops there many times,
but the more we kill, the more appear.
Traveling merchants are terrified of them.
Here.
The terrain there is treacherous.
Easy to defend, hard to attack.
The bandits are scattered across the peaks.
They hide by day and strike at night.
When troops climb the mountain, they flee.
We can barely find them, much less wipe them out.
But that's the Northern Army's problem.
What does it have to do with you, Lord Lu?
Why the sudden interest?
My Lord, the troops are assembled.
We're ready to set out.
My Lord.
My Lord, word just came from the palace.
His Majesty is coming to inspect the troops today.
The Imperial procession has already left Sima Gate.
Put the entire army on high alert!
Assemble all the generals.
Come with me to prepare the drill grounds at once!
- No. Something's wrong. - What is it?
The grand review isn't due yet.
the troops are caught unprepared.
Inspecting troops in peacetime breaks protocol.
Why did His Majesty suddenly change his mind?
Something about this doesn't feel right.
It is strange.
But if His Majesty just got a whim,
we just receive him.
Don't overthink it.
His Majesty moved the inspection up.
Someone may have put him up to it.
I have something urgent to handle.
Shunqin. I'm leaving the camp to you.
Find a way to stall the Imperial carriage.
Hey you…
Where are you going at a time like this?
What am I supposed to tell His Majesty?
Even His Majesty can't break protocol.
Just say the camp's defenses aren't ready
and His Majesty's safety could be at risk.
Remember, get several censors to join you
and do everything you can to stop him.
Are you out of your mind?
What could matter more than your life?
You can't just halt His Majesty's procession.
No. You're not going anywhere.
Whatever it is, it can wait.
You're coming with me to receive His Majesty!
General Qi is right. Please think this through, My Lord.
I'm counting on you. Move out!
ZHAO
That fool. That absolute fool!
I haven't even told him about Bitao yet.
What happened to Bitao?
N-Nothing.
Maybe I'm just overthinking it.
Who knows when His Lordship will be back?
{\an8}SOUTH MOUNTAIN BANDIT STRONGHOLD
Top it up.
Drink up.
The soldiers are coming! The soldiers!
Soldiers!
The soldiers are coming!
The soldiers are coming!
Move!
- Move! - Hurry!
Look closely.
Do you recognize these two?
No. No… I don't know them…
Kill him.
No! Wait! Wait! Spare me, General!
I've truly never seen them!
{\an8}On South Mountain alone, there are thirteen major strongholds.
Their leaders are all ruthless killers.
General, perhaps you've got the wrong place.
Thirteen?
That's no problem.
We'll wipe them out one by one.
We'll leave heads rolling and the mountains red with blood.
Before dawn tomorrow, we'll find them.
No, no, wait!
I'll do whatever you ask, General!
My patience is running thin.
You'll lead the way and get us through their gates.
Before sunset,
I want all thirteen heads. Lined up neatly! Not one missing.
At your command, General.
{\an8}XIANZHUANG
{\an8}Everything you just said
is true?
She harbored a runaway servant from the Wei family
and dug into Rao's disappearance from years ago.
Who knows what she's really plotting?
Heaven and earth are my witnesses.
I swear on my late brother.
If a single word is false,
may I meet a terrible end.
This concerns Lady Li's beloved daughter.
I dared not hide it from you.
For the sake of your own flesh and blood,
please judge this fairly and give Rao justice.
Lady Li.
Old Madam Wei, Lady Guo,
and Noble Lady Wu'an request an audience.
Very well.
Everyone who should be here is here.
Let them in.
Yes.
Lady Li summons Old Madam Wei and Noble Lady Wu'an.
Rao, come inside with me.
DWELLING IN TRUTH, DEEP IN THE WOODS
No need for formalities.
Old Madam Wei, have a seat.
Your timing is perfect, Noble Lady Wu'an.
Even if you hadn't come today,
I would've sent for you.
I trust you haven't forgotten my warning.
- Lady Li… - Whatever you wish to reprimand her for,
wait until you've seen the evidence she brought.
Tell Lady Li
exactly what you told me.
Lady Li, A-Chou…
No, Noble Lady Wu'an
is not my biological daughter.
Sixteen years ago,
I found her under an old cypress tree on the rear hill.
My eldest daughter died young,
so I took the risk
of giving this child A-Chou's identity
and raised her as my own poor daughter.
I selfishly hid the truth from her.
I deserve death for my crime.
Please have mercy, Lady Li.
You found her on the mountain?
Yes. I found her there.
On the night of the Lantern Festival,
Wei Rao was abducted and vanished without a trace.
Someone clearly plotted to harm her
and wanted her dead. Lv Lun.
Lady Li, my wife, Madam Chang,
served at the Wei Residence for years.
She knew everything that happened there.
One day, she happened to see her. It was her!
She bribed the wet nurse and guards
and conspired with criminals to kidnap and sell the young lady.
Afterward, fearing she'd be executed,
she cruelly abandoned the young lady in the wilderness
and left her to die!
The night the young lady disappeared,
- she was wearing crimson… - You don't need to tell me that.
The night Wei Rao disappeared, the court posted notices everywhere.
Everyone knew what she was wearing.
A crimson brocade robe with cloud patterns
under a white fox cloak.
What? Did you find them?
Of course.
My adoptive mother hid them under the stove for years.
We only just found them.
Bitao.
Here's the evidence.
One look and you'll know, Lady Li.
Yinggu.
LONG LIFE, ENDLESS BLESSINGS
- This one's pretty. - Pretty, isn't it?
LONG LIFE, ENDLESS BLESSINGS
All you know is the gift for your daughter.
Here.
Here. I'll put it on you.
Mother… I…
That's right. Back then, Wei Jin
personally engraved the Longevity Lock
with "Long Life" and "Endless Blessings."
But when Rao was born,
I named her Mingzhu.
My precious girl,
cherished like a pearl in my palm.
But fearing it would diminish her blessings,
I only dared to engrave tiny words
on the back of the Longevity Lock…
"To my beloved daughter, Mingzhu."
Those tiny words were never recorded in the case files,
and very few people knew about them.
But on the back of this Longevity Lock,
there's nothing at all.
How…
How can that be?
When I found Noble Lady Wu'an,
she was wearing this very Longevity Lock.
I knew it was tied to her true identity.
I feared someone would discover it and take my child away.
We were poor, but I never dared sell it.
This is the one.
Lady Li, could there be some mistake?
Mother,
you raised Rao yourself from the time she was little.
There was never any doubt about who she was.
Now someone else has come to claim her,
so the keepsake must match perfectly
before anyone can believe it.
Please stay calm.
Let Lady Li
question them carefully.
Lv Lun.
Where is your wife, Madam Chang?
She's dead.
She was murdered!
Wei Heng'e.
Did you murder Madam Chang?
I've been framed, Lady Li!
That woman stole valuables and fled the residence.
She fell off a cliff. She got what she deserved.
Rao is my own niece.
I'm married, and I can't inherit my brother's family's wealth anyway.
The claim that I'd harm Wei Rao makes no sense at all.
This man is treacherous and greedy.
He and his wife were partners in crime.
Now he's helping outsiders falsely accuse his own masters!
What could he possibly be after?
Lady Li, please see the truth!
Give him 40 lashes, then question him again!
- Guards! - Mercy, Lady Li! Please!
Everything I said is true!
I-I wouldn't dare lie! Mercy, Lady Li! Mercy!
- You can't beat a confession out of him! - Mercy please!
You don't get to speak.
I'll confess!
I'll tell you everything!
Lady Li,
I lied.
The truth is,
I was acting on Noble Lady Wu'an's orders!
Hurry! Faster!
Mother, what message did His Lordship send
that has you rushing to Xianzhuang like this?
Why not bring Sister with us?
Does this concern Noble Lady Wu'an?
She can't handle serious matters. She'd only make things worse.
You're levelheaded.
Don't ask questions now. You'll know when we get there.
You there!
What's going on?
Madam, two carriages collided at the city gate.
Neither side will back down,
so they've blocked the gate.
Take another route. Now!
Going around the west side will be a long detour.
We may not reach the estate until the Xu hour.
This is bad. Very bad.
Make way for the Duke's carriage!
Take the detour! Hurry!
She…
She gave me 200 coins
and told me to make up lies to frame Lady Heng'e!
That story about bribing the wet nurse and swapping the girl
was all made up by this fraud.
She even fabricated evidence to deceive everyone!
See? She even found an identical Longevity Lock.
I didn't dare do it at first.
But she kept tempting me.
She knew she looked just like Lady Wei Rao,
so she boldly hatched this scheme to turn you against each other!
After all, my wife is already dead,
and the wet nurse and guards are dead, leaving no witnesses.
With truth and lies all mixed up, she could easily manipulate things.
If you believed even part of her story,
she could make the rest look true
and claim the title of Noble Lady,
living in wealth and luxury forever!
She even promised me a mansion and fertile land,
plus a beautiful new wife.
I lost my head for a moment. Greed blinded me.
I deserve death!
- You lying snake! - I deserve death!
You claimed to be a Wei servant seeking my protection,
but someone had already bought you off!
You set this trap to frame me!
If this Longevity Lock is fake,
then the clothes, shoes, and socks must be fake too?
I was only a child. What could I possibly have known
about the personal belongings
of a noble girl from the Earl's household years ago?
Even if they're all fake,
why were the fleeing wet nurse and guards
killed at South Mountain of all places?
If that wasn't silencing witnesses, what was it?
How dare you tell such a shameless lie?
Aren't you afraid of divine punishment?
Lady Li, I have proof of what I said.
I didn't spend a single coin of the bribe she gave me.
I buried it all outside the city, under the old elm tree on Jiwei Slope.
If you don't believe me, send someone to dig it up.
Guards.
Take him to retrieve the evidence.
Move!
Lady Li, when the evidence was found,
Lord Lu saw it himself.
- He can testify for me. - Lord Lu?
You've bewitched Lord Lu so completely he can't tell right from wrong.
And you expect him to judge the truth?
Child traffickers would never leave evidence behind.
They'd have burned or buried it long ago.
These are all fake!
Fake! Every last one is fake!
The substitute bride I found back then
was so greedy
she spun an outrageous lie to take Rao's place!
It's my fault. As her aunt,
I let a wolf into our home and harmed Rao!
Lady Li,
this mother and daughter
conspired in secret to impersonate a noblewoman.
They must not be spared!
No! I swear we didn't!
I truly picked up Noble Lady Wu'an.
I wouldn't dare lie.
Rao isn't your biological daughter.
Yet you're so eager to condemn me.
What are you really after?
What am I after?
What could I possibly want?
I only feel sorry for the poor child
that my late brother left behind.
Yes, pitiful indeed.
My birth father died in battle
and entrusted his young daughter to his own family,
hoping you
would raise and cherish his precious girl.
How could he know his own sister
would swap two girls for her own selfish gain?
One grew up pampered in luxury,
while the other lived in poverty, driven to the brink!
Wei Heng'e, ask yourself.
After everything you've done,
can you face the brother who died in battle?
- Can you face your own conscience? - Shut your mouth!
My conscience is clear!
I did nothing! I can swear to Heaven!
What would I have to fear?
Bitao.
You grew up in our Wei family.
You were always by Lady Wei Rao's side.
She cared for you more than anyone.
How could you forget all the Wei family did for you
and help someone commit such evil?
How could you serve an impostor?
Bitao.
Tell us. What do you know?
It was you.
You switched the Longevity Lock.
Your Ladyship…
I…
I…
Keep stalling, and you'll anger Lady Li.
Then you'll be dragged out and beaten to death!
Your parents and brothers will be punished too!
You'd better tell the truth.
Don't be afraid. As long as you tell the truth,
Lady Li will see that justice is done.
Speak! Have you lost your voice?
I said, speak!
So that's how it is.
From the very first day I entered the Wei Residence,
someone had already planted a pawn by my side,
waiting for this very day.
I was too foolish, too naive,
too desperate to find my birth mother
to see the trap right in front of me.
Wei Heng'e.
When I disappeared back then,
you must have had help inside the residence to switch us!
- Who could that have been? - You…
You certainly have a sharp tongue.
You turn defense into attack
and keep pressing your accusations.
You have no proof,
yet you twist the truth and falsely accuse others.
You're still young. Stay on the right path.
Don't make a foolish choice you'll regret.
A Longevity Lock can be forged.
Witnesses can be bought.
It's been 16 years.
Someone has deliberately interfered,
trying to turn truth into lies
and keep a mother and daughter apart.
But I want to ask you,
Lady Li.
Why did you lose your own daughter?
And why,
when she's standing right in front of you, do you refuse to see the truth
and let them make up lies to slander her?
Why?
Mother!
Mother, you're confused. How can you believe a fraud?
She uses sweet words to twist right and wrong.
You'll believe her, but not your own daughter?
Mother, look at me.
Feel this.
When you left the Wei family back then,
Grandmother was grieving Father's early death.
No one in the family had time for me.
I secretly slipped out, hoping to find you at the palace.
But the steps were too high.
I slipped and fell. That's how I got this scar.
This scar proves how much I missed you, Mother.
Mother.
Mother, are you really going to believe her
and abandon your own daughter?
Does it still hurt?
How did the world come to this?
What is real anymore? What is false?
I…
Mother.
We should leave this matter to Lady Li.
As long as Lady Li acts decisively
and puts an end to this,
the Lu family will know it's settled
and won't dare object.
No matter how bold Lu Zhuo is,
the family is still ruled by the upright old Duke.
Once it's done,
the two families can settle the rest.
Then everything can be covered up,
without involving the Wei family.
You can finally rest easy.
And we can
give Lady Rao's late father an answer.
My only fear is that Lady Li will hesitate
and go soft.
Mother.
The evidence is conclusive now. She has no defense left!
Will you still indulge this liar
and let her humiliate me in public and disgrace Father's name?
Mother, make your decision!
A-Chou.
What else do you have to say?
I have nothing to say.
Guards! Take her…
Stop!
NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS SHOW
