Your Parents Set You Up to Fail in Your Relationships #npd #narcissist #triangulation

Hey everyone, it's a spiritual whistleblower here with another video on narcissistic abuse I have a special edition today I'm actually going to teach you guys something that's going to be mind-blowing to a lot of you guys and um it's going to be a lot to process but um it should wake you up a bit um before I get into that I am coming to the Midwest I'm holding my own narc abuse support group meetups I'll be in Denver, Colorado September 10th is an actual paint paint if you love to paint and sip wine it's a paint and sip event um email me so you can register that is the 10th Minneapolis, Chicago Detroit, St Louis, Cleveland, Kansas City and I will be in Montego Bay, Jamaica so if you're interested in attending any of those support groups please hit me up at [email protected] also at the end of this video I I if you feel that you need some coaching uh to help you identify whether or not you have a narcissistic parent like you need confirmation like you suspect that they're toxic but you're not certain if they're narcissistic you're welcome to set up a phone consultation with me I'm very affordable 15 minutes is 15, 30 minutes is 40, one hour is 60 and again you can set that up through my email [email protected] so let's get on with the video um I want to explain to you how your toxic narcissistic parents set you up to fail in life how do they set you up in the future they set you up in your childhood so that in the future when you become an adult you are jumping into relationships with abusive narcissists okay so i want to explain something you guys should be familiar with the term triangulation triangulation is the art of staging uh arguments and fights between two different parties um if you have siblings and if your parents put you against your siblings in any way if there was any jealousy competitiveness competitiveness and your parents were the cause of it your parents were narcissistic narcissistic parents love to see their children at odds with each other they love to create insecurities in their children they do this by saying your brother looks better in that shirt than you i'ma buy your sister more toys than you because you were bad today they say different things that are hurtful but also it makes the child jealous of their other sibling and that's where the insecurities start in the childhood because the parent is creating those those insecurities in the children and then on top of that when the children get to fighting with each other even into their teenage years where do they run they're gonna run to the narcissistic mommy and daddy mom guess what my brother said to me today and guess what my sister said not knowing that mom and dad started the whole fight so the narcissistic parents are getting narcissistic supply from watching their children fight each other and run and tell on each other it's very sick so narcissists in general they operate off of a system of triangulation i don't care if it's your mother father your your lover your spouse they all use triangulation because triangulation accomplishes the mission of them receiving narcissistic supply from multiple sources at one time it's like a pig feasting on a giant trough of slop the narcissist is like getting off on the fact that he or she has created so much drama by having all these different parties go at each other's throat it's really sick so your parents whether it's mom or dad or both my case both my parents they are masters at triangulating their children against each other and they do this well into adulthood it doesn't stop in childhood your parents will have one favorite child that they gossip to and tell all your business they'll talk about you like a dog to this sibling it's just mess you know uh the parent is very insecure and they feel better when they start these problems between their children and their children can run back to them and report back like mom can you believe my sister said this and mom can you believe my brother did this yeah mom started everything but she's getting off on fact that she stirred stirred the pot and she's got her children fighting like dogs it's really sick guys so let me let me just draw the i'm gonna draw a picture for you guys just hold on a second here's a triangle i'm drawing a triangle right now this illustration is going to show you how your parents set you up to get into toxic relationships in your adulthood here you know this is a triangle we know a triangle has three points point number one point number two and point number three you guys follow me so you are going to be point number one i'm gonna put you up here i'm going to put you up here because you are close to god that's the sunshine you are anointed and you are close to the sun you are anointed child of god so i'm gonna put you at the very top spot spot number two right here this is going to be your parents mom and dad right mom and dad who goes in point number three who do you think goes in point number three who do you think goes at the third point that third point is going to be whoever you get into a relationship with as an adult a baby mama a baby father a toxic wife a toxic husband it is your future abuser So I'm going to put future abuser. Okay. So now we have three points. You're at the first point. The second point is your mother and father. It could be one or the other. It could be both of them. They're narcissists. Okay. And the third point is your future lover who is also an abuser. Y'all follow me? Mom and dad, when you were a child, you ran to them for everything. when you were a child your parents they were grooming you now there's multiple forms of abuse your parents could uh definitely emotionally abuse you by neglecting you which means they could both be in a household they both could be great providers mom could have dinner cooked every night dad is working hard to pay all the bills to make sure you guys have clothes food and everything bills and mortgages paid however there is an emotional disconnect in the house dad doesn't know how to love. Dad might be verbally and physically abusive towards the children and his wife. There's a, there's domestic violence in the household and mom, because she's narcissistic or toxic codependent, she decides to stay with your father knowing he's abusive, knowing he's an asshole, knowing he's a cheater liar. And she thinks she's doing this because we need to stick together as a family, but she doesn't realize she's doing more damage to her children by staying with an abusive man. And what happens? She stays with him over the years. She endures the abuse and her children end up resenting her for that. And then now they go out into the world and they start attracting people like their abusive father. Okay. If it's a daughter and her daughter, her daughter witnessed her get beat by her father, then that daughter, you, you're going to grow up attracting men like your abusive father. Okay. Fellas, if, if mama would not leave daddy, um, even though he abused her, there's a high probability that you will turn into an abusive asshole that beats on women and cheats because you saw your mama do it. Or you will turn into a man that, that attracts abusive women. You could be a really sweet guy and you keep getting into relationships with abusive women okay because your mother was an enabler and through her actions she made domestic violence tolerable and acceptable in the household when it shouldn't have been she should have left a long time ago and taught her children self-respect taught her children that she respects herself taught her children the proper way that love is to be received and processed so mama never loved herself if there's a situation where mama is the dominant one she's running a household and daddy's too weak mama's the narcissist and daddy um you know he fights her like my parents always got into fist fights but it wasn't a case of my father was whooping my mother's ass my mother fought like a like a dude she was fighting my father like a man in the streets and my father with his feminine self was fighting her like he was another woman in the street he wasn't whooping my mother's ass they were fighting like two men my mother was very masculine she was very dominant in in the house whereas my father was feminine but they both were very toxic they both were narcissistic um and because they exposed this for a very long time in front of me and my siblings and i'll speak for myself i then when i became an adult i started attracting men with the same personality types as my mother and father okay and when your parents are narcissistic, they don't give a **** about you. Like I said, y'all don't want to accept the truth. Narcissists do not get their mates pregnant because they love them. Narcissists, um, impregnate their lover to trap them. You understand? They want to trap their lover with a baby to further control and manipulate and abuse the next 18 years. So you were conceived out of manipulation, not love it's a hard pill to swallow then when you realize that you grew up in an abusive home and again abuse comes in different forms your parents could have provided but there was no emotional connection no emotional support um they didn't protect you how many y'all have been in an abusive relationship you told your parents about it they didn't protect you all they said was well don't go back to them check this out you move in with your future lover who happens to be an abuser Let's just say you either move in with them, you get pregnant, move in with them, or you get married and move in with them. You start tolerating abuse with your lover and you maintain a relationship with your toxic parents while you're in this abusive relationship. You know what's going to happen? What's going to happen when this relationship, you can't take no more of the abuse and you seek to get out of it or get a divorce. You're on the phone telling your family all your business, but you're financially responsible or dependent you share all the bills and everything you're entangled with your abuser so you're fighting to get out of this relationship whether you tell your parents or not when you finally do escape whether you have kids or not when you finally do escape you're going to be in some type of financial difficulty because it's expensive to move buy a new place what have you but you want out chances are if you escape where are you going to run a lot of people run back where they run back home to mommy and daddy. They go from this frying pan and they jump into this frying pan. They go from one abuser back to their original abuser. Mommy and daddy are your original abusers. They are narcissistic. They trained you and programmed you to have no boundaries so that when you grow up, abusive people can run in and out of your life. Abusive friends, abusive lovers can run in and out. You have no boundaries. They're weak. They've taught you to be codependent, to tolerate abuse, not only stay in a relationship, but to tolerate the abuse because that's what they normalize in their household, in their relationships and their children witnessed it. Three, they trained you to be silent, to be scared, to speak up when you're being abused. And four, they didn't teach you survival skills. You had to learn everything once you moved out so when things go bad with your lover you got to run back home and move in with mommy and daddy and guess what they get to regain control over you that is the plan they set you up to fail from day one and they've been programming you like this since you were a child now if you need me to coach you and help you figure out if your mom and dad is narcissistic or not please get in touch with me to schedule your consult today this has been a spiritual whistleblower. God bless you guys.