This Is 40 (2012): Awkward Medical Exams Full Scene

Hey, did I tell you that my son's going to Stanford? No, that's great. Oh, great. Great for us and great for him. Cough again. That's cool. Everything was good. Your face is close to my face. Descending colon. I'm about four feet in right now. That's what he said. Just try to breathe through your nose. That's your mouth. Breathe through your nose. Are you all right? Are you a grinder? Do you grind your teeth? I grind all night. I think we need to turn the gas down. Turn it up. No, we're going to turn it down. Do you have to breathe right up my neck? Sorry? What are you all doing for Christmas? Um, I don't know. You have a tree and everything? Isn't that fun? In the spirit? Sorry, I just have one quick question. On your form, you said you were born in 1974, but your paper, it said it's 72, so I just need to know which it is. It's 1974. Oh, wait. Because on your last form, you said that you were born in 1975. Didn't you tell me you were born in 1976? No. So you want to go with 1974? I'm not going to go with 1974. it is 1974. Just remember to write 1974 every time. It's okay. It's 1976. I lie about my age, okay? Okay. Okay? Okay? Okay? Okay. Okay. You're tightening up. Oh my gosh. I know how old you are. Like counting the rings. A little gyno joke. Oh my god. Please. What are you doing? I'm getting ready to go for my ride. Do you want a blowjob? Yeah, why? I really want a cigarette right now. Well, I'm happy to help. Charlotte, wait! Mom's busy! Eight minutes, buddy. You look pretty good. Your hair's different. Yeah, I'm throwing it out. I'll get it cut. I do, but right now, look who I'm talking to. Honey, that's because of the egg donor. Remember? I came from a test tube. How's business? It's not good. Nobody wants curtains. They think of it like a luxury. It's not a luxury. You need shade. You need privacy. Hi, I know how you feel. You know, my business is going through some growing pains right now. Oh, don't jump. Careful. Don't jump on Daddy. Remember, Daddy has high blood what? High blood. That's right. Hi, Daddy. Can you go outside without me for a little bit? Don't go near that little pool. All right? This is routine you were practicing. I can't tell them apart. I swear to God, I need tattoos. Look, uh, I wanted to talk to you about scaling back a little bit. You know, Deb and I are thinking about selling the house. I think that house is more than you need. I think it was too big of a purchase when you made it. In the meantime, I'm gonna have to make some changes. I understand. What do you mean? With you. Oh, I'm sorry. What? I can't... No, that's a bad idea. That's not the way to cut back. I have three children here. Now, Claire, why can't... Can she get a job? Claire takes care of your brothers. What do you want her to do? If she goes to work, then I gotta hire somebody. Well, you gotta figure something out, because I can't do it. I can't do it! Okay, fine. Come on! We'll kill two of them. I'll keep the best one. Really, it'll save us both a lot of trouble. Line up! Line up for murder! Come on! Who wants to be killed? I do! Cheaper! You're gone! Okay! Boom! Dead! You're dead! Alright, the kids are murdered. That'll save us some money. Daddy's the best! Why would you have three kids? Anyway, I mean, you're 60 years old. You had no money. Because Claire wanted a baby. If we didn't at least try, she would have left me. She was 45 years old. Nobody thought it would take. The doctor, when we're doing in vitro, is winking at me like, don't worry, don't worry. We were very unlucky. And now we have these three beautiful children. Come on, I gotta tell you something. Your mother wanted you a boy. Jesus Christ. No, no, it's the truth. You know, it was the 70s. We were 22 years old. That's what everybody did. You did some blow, had sex, had an abortion. Really? We were on the way to the doctor's office. I said, let's stop, have a pizza, talk about it. If you still want to do it after lunch, it's okay. The pizza saved your life. But don't give me money, because I'm not worth it. So how much do I owe you, then, for saving my life? I don't have a number. You just keep giving like you're giving. Hey! Oh, hi, Pete! Hey! Why aren't you playing with kids? We were playing all day with them. Pete's just talking to me about his 40th birthday party. Whatever I can do to help. Okay. Did you feed him? I fed half of one.