ALONE.. Yup I Tapped, and Why.

Oh, oh, look what I have, a firesteel lanyard. That could have came in handy. So guys, honestly, I dropped the ball, and I know it. I'm hummed and hawed about making this video, and I decided, screw it, I'm going to make it. I really don't care. These are not excuses. These are not reasons, even, why what happened happened. This is just what happened, okay? I'm sure you've all watched the video, or sorry, the show. I've got a million and one comments telling me anything from I should quit my channel to I inspired them. Everything in between. So, anyways. In trying to be in accordance to the rules, we were allowed 20 meters of paracord. Okay? We weren't allowed 21 meters. We weren't allowed 20 and a half meters. We were allowed 20 meters of paracord. Therefore, I did not have a lanyard on my fire steel that I had recently acquired specifically for the show. I had a big ass fire steel from firesteel.com big like half inch thing huge it had a fire steel, sorry, I had a lanyard hole drilled into it, I definitely could have put a lanyard in it but not before the show because we weren't allowed extra cordage, okay, I had my gill net in a plastic shopping bag like when you get a throwaway shopping bag inside my backpack and they made me get rid of that plastic bag because it was um, considered extra gear so why would they let me have a lanyard on my fire steel? they wouldn't it wasn't allowed, i wasn't allowed to put bright fluorescent tape on it either because tape could be used as something that i could use out there sure i could have dipped it in paint, fluorescent paint, something like that, but who in the world thinks you're going to lose your fire steel i had every intention of putting a lanyard on when i got out there, i was going to cut a piece of my 20 meters of paracord I had, make a lanyard, tie it to my belt, and be good. The fact of the matter is, I didn't have any downtime. what you saw, they can't show everything obviously, there's 10 guys. even if it was just me, they couldn't show everything I did because I filmed everything. The first day, the whole day was spent trying to find a camp. That camp that I camped in, like the Cedar Swamp area. I was crawling through salal bushes for six hours pushing pelican case through climbing over stuff under stuff anyways long story short i was exhausted by the time i found my site which was a game trail bear game trail um it was already getting dark and there was no time to do that i tried to get a fire that night i couldn't because everything was drenched okay so the next couple days were spent looking for wood the next couple days were spent scouring my area for any kind of wood that I can use let me give you a perspective the trees were this big or they were this big and the trees that were this big and dead I could wring water out of and you saw that I showed they showed it on the show I can't chop down a tree this big for firewood I had no firewood where I was I made my way out to the beach and and found a little bit of driftwood and stuff and got a little tiny fire going. But anyways, I had to, I had to move sites. Okay. So after that I moved sites and that was a huge undertaking as well. By this time I am dehydrated beyond belief. I am thinking of all of the million things I have to do. I was on such a low from getting such a rough start for the first few days that once I got to my new site and got my fire going and boiled my water and drank my water i was on such a high i was on such a high because like now everything's turned around now everything's good in my favor who cares about the past few days now everything's good and it's exactly what i thought it was gonna be i got stupid and put my fire so let me back track i was wearing rain pants and a rain jacket the whole time i was there every day the rain pants did not have pockets in them okay the rain jacket did and i was putting my knife and my fire still in my jacket pocket zipping it up after every use well what they didn't show you was the two hours it took me to get that fire going at my new site on on on the beach there i was using my axe you know doing a lot of work and got really warm so i put my jacket open on a log so that somewhat of sun can dry it out a little bit so i could dry out so i wasn't sweating my butt off after I got my fire established I went to put my fire steel and my knife back in my jacket pocket wasn't wearing a jacket and my pants don't have pockets in it like I said walked over to my rain jacket put my fire steel down and put my knife down on it when it came time to grab my knife or put my coat back on rather I saw the knife I picked up the knife I did not see the black fire steel on top of the black jacket I picked it up and didn't know I had still I have no idea. I put it on, went about my business, trying to look around for a better spot to camp, anything, whatever. It doesn't matter. And then I realized it's gone. And I'm scouring. The sand's black too. And I'm scouring the sand looking for whatever. You know what I mean? It's just not there. The only thing that I can think of, and they showed it on the show where I put my stuff down on my jacket, is when I pick my jacket up, the thing tossed and turned ass overhead into the sand or into the water and at the time the water hasn't hadn't been going up that far but it's a tide it goes up even farther I looked all day I looked all day for that stuff it wasn't there my fire steel wasn't to be found these are not excuses I'm not happy with my performance I dropped the ball I could have stayed another few days I could have for sure I could have drank rainwater. Hell, I could have drank river water. It was so remote out there, the chance of me getting jarred, I might have been slim to nil. But in my head, in my mind, there was nine other guys out there with their fire steel still doing fine. And by staying, I was only delaying the inevitable. I wish I stuck it out a little bit longer to find out what I was made of, to find out how living life there would have been. But again, it crushed me. I was on such a high. Like I said, after finding all that stuff, the new area, getting water, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff, that when I found out I lost my first, it crushed me mentally. I was not prepared for it. In my head, I don't deserve to be out there if I can lose such an important piece of gear. So I bailed. That was it. I called it in. I'm not proud of it. And I've lived with it ever since that moment that I decided to bail. It sucks. It really does. And I'm being completely honest with you guys. I make no bones about it. I dropped the ball and I know it. That said, my life is good. I have a loving family. I provide for them. They have food. They have a roof over their head. I've got means of transportation. You know what I mean? I have a loving family, a loving group of people for me. So in the end, whatever. I'm still not over it. Don't let me get you wrong. But it's going all right now. I wish I could have tested myself more. I wish I would have stayed. But it is what it is. And I have to live with it. So this video is for everyone who wanted to know a little bit more. And for all my haters, thanks for knowing my name.