BE THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY‼️ INTERVIEWING A DIAGNOSED COVERT NARCISSIST.

I gotta get my guests on. Y'all bear with me one second while I get set up. My bad, guys. I am trying to figure something out. Hold on one second, y'all. So guys, all right. I'm not the most tech savvy person, but I'm figuring it out. I'm figuring it out. What's up, beautiful people? Shout out to my warrior gang in the house. How y'all doing? Happy Friday, TGIF, all that good stuff good afternoon good evening good morning wherever you're at shout out to those of you already in the chat um elissa williams cecilia valdez edith uzoho ashley renee what up sis the discern target 6891 what's up warriors love trish ann hey how are you someone said i bet it's Lee Hammock no it's not he's gonna be here one of these days though that would be interesting um I have I have my thoughts and my I have my perceptions on Lee Hammock but that's for another story another day another day hey Dominic Morris how you doing LJ I see you hi unguarded hour um guys man I want to tell y'all how important it is to know that if you survive the narcissist you are the one that got away and if you if you have not gotten here I need to tell you why it's important to become that person why it's important for you to be the one who got away and if you got away stay away because yeah this is really interesting when you actually hear from the perspective of an actually diagnosed narcissist. And gosh, I had an opportunity to speak with this person. My initial intention was to do an interview and it didn't work out that way. The connection was really crazy. And so I had to change it up. And my guest is here now. I'm going to introduce Narcissist Hex to you guys. I am excited to let you hear from a diagnosed covert narcissists why you need to run why you need to be unbothered why you need to get away why you need to gray rock and also more importantly why you were the one who got away what that mean what that looks like let's listen to this story i have so many questions i'm gonna ask that everyone um you know just allows time for us to get through parts of the interview just hold off on questions for me don't mind just kind of you know take some time to just pause in the chat uh be mindful respectful remember this is a community of healing a lot of us are survivors we're warriors a lot of us already educated about a lot of what we know regarding narcissistic abuse and so this is all about awareness education and empowerment and um i'm excited for you guys if you're new to the channel of course welcome shout out to all my new subscribers hello to all my uh my day oneers my supporters and actually narcissist hex is actually a support um on my channel as well he's been in our lives he's been interacting he's been talking and educating and embracing um what's going on in the community and um before i introduce him i do want to put this disclaimer out there when we talk about um a self-aware narcissist it does not mean that this person is you know completely changed and they're just angelic now and um they don't think that just because they're self-aware that they are now like you right self-aware just means that they know they have a problem they are aware of who they are they are aware of the disorder but it takes more than just being self-aware for narcissists to gain control and really change because it boils down to we all fight that the narcissist fights it the most and so guys help me welcome today's uh special guest Narcissist Hex, I'm gonna put his information in the description box for you guys to check out his channel very educational, very transparent, I just love the fact that he's open and vulnerable to talk about what he's done and where he's at, and I think that this is so important and I'm so happy, well welcome Narcissist Hex, I am happy to have you here, can you hear me okay? Just want to yeah, can you hear me? Yep, yep, I can hear you so that means everyone can hear you, um, I'm so excited to have you here and um, I I just think that this is very powerful and empowering to be here with someone who's actually diagnosed and willing to talk to survivors, victims, and maybe even other people who may have narcissistic tendencies, may not be diagnosed, maybe struggling with it, um, so welcome man, I'm so happy that you're here, um, I was telling the people that we've already kind of had an official meeting, it just didn't work out how we had our interview set up, so um, it's another opportunity for us to come and this time it's live, so I think that's even better and so I titled this 'The One Who Got Away' and the reason is when I spoke with you last that interview that we had, it impacted me so much, it confirmed and it validated a lot and I realized that a lot of what you told me in regards to the women that you've been in relationships with or your marriages, it reminded me of myself and so many of the warriors who watched this, I'm like oh my god these women or or maybe the last wife and we'll get more into detail i'm like oh my god these people you know we do we do kind of make some type of a um we bring some type of an experience you know you do kind of leave some type of a lingering experience depending on where that narcissist is in their life. And we'll talk a little bit more in depth. So I want to start with kind of the introduction to how this became your world. And so I know a lot of people want to hear about how you became the narcissist. And I believe through therapy, you've been able to kind of, you know, get clear on that. So tell me a little bit about your background. I know you shared a lot tell me about the abandonment with dad the relationship with mom and we'll take it from there okay um yeah it's much better than zoom ain't it yes it is zoom was terrible zoom was terrible yes this was this is way better well yeah um uh you can call me jack uh my channel is Narcissus X okay i started my channel um because i started to realize um some of the things that was happening around me more so how i became what i am obviously a narcissist a covert narcissist obviously the way i became that was through um years of trauma and abuse right but the thing is what was happening to me is um i had a major narcissist injury i guess or an ego collapse they call it so what had happened is i had all these bad things happen at once uh divorce um i was living on my own my son um sorry it's like um like he didn't want nothing to do with me you know so it was a lot of bad things at once basically and um i didn't know what was wrong with me why i'm going through my third divorce and you know it's just like so much at once and then I started to see my daughter and she's older she was the first one that called me a narcissist and we had kind of gotten into an argument about it and then I just started thinking about it like I didn't change I just thought about it yeah um went to therapy and my therapist said the same thing after like uh five or six sessions and I got rid of her and um i went back to her and apologized because i was trying to justify my actions with my friend my friend katie was telling me well maybe there's some truth to that you know so um i went back that was my ex-wife was always calling me a narcissist always so i started to figure out okay maybe there's something to this you know that's the only reason why it's not like i woke up and was like hey let's change this i'm a narc you know but you know that's not good i want to change this right it was all these things happened and um so that's how I became self-aware and I started to actually see the world I know it's hard to understand that but I started to see what was happening what I was doing to people around me and what was happening is I was doing the things that my mom did to me when I was a child so yeah I I and I know a lot of this is very sensitive and of course this is a safe space for you Jack I want you to know that first and foremost um don't mind the chat a lot of people don't understand and that's why i want to do this a lot of people don't understand this a lot of people may not be ready for this this is not for everyone and that's okay i get that but this is important and i want you to um feel safe in what you're doing and so just first and foremost just want to put that out there can you tell us a little bit about that effect of your mother i know you mentioned to me um abandonment from father right before and and then mother was really the biggest issue here mostly the narcissistic parent that you had along with some siblings so give us a little bit more detail as far as that trauma like what you remember the type of things maybe she did or said or how you was treated as a kid yeah i i went through this in therapy and it was very difficult but my earliest childhood memory was my mom cussing me out like you know it was like a combination of things that happened like I grew into it and became it I became one with the pain of it but like what what was happening is like I was looking out the window for my dad for example and she was outside and you know I didn't I wasn't climbing out the window i just was looking for him and she's like get your head back in there you stupid i don't want to cuss i don't know if i could but she cussed me out you can YouTube is safe to cuss as far as i know yeah you stupid bastard you know yeah like called me all kinds of different names that was my first first memory you know early memory gotcha now before that there was a lot of other things i've remembered bits and pieces of it but that's my earliest actual memory you know and um then i know one of my biggest memories was my father leaving um i didn't know he was leaving he said he was going to the store and you know you're a kid you just pay you know he's going to the store he was actually leaving us i don't know if my mom knew or whatever but you know he told me he goes you know pick out anything you want i'll buy it for you and i'm like all right so i picked out a telescope because i like like to look at stars you know he's like all right I'll get you a telescope man I'll get you the biggest one and that was the last day I saw him so from that day forward I'm just telling you my experience I felt like a different person like I had to manufacture um I don't I don't know how to explain it like uh like I was just I don't know like I couldn't understand the pain I guess I don't I don't know how to explain it but I just remember it so much and I couldn't articulate it but I didn't want to live but I was afraid of dying too so I was like in limbo for many many years growing up that's how I felt you know that's just how I felt I wasn't gonna do it because uh I uh I held on to religion and my mom was putting me in church when I was very young so I sort of kind of latched on to the Baptist religion and I I thought well what would God say if you know if I deleted myself so that you know that's kind of like those two events are the first two big ones I remember growing up and my mom um you know from then on you know I had a big family I wasn't close to any of them I was abused by two of my older brothers one wanted to uh unalive me for many many years he was my biggest abuser I had another one that was doing the same thing but I was kind of luck at the time he went to prison for many years so he wasn't able to get me and then I was uh growing up through that uh I was in a gang area and I got kicked out at like 17 years old so that that was how I grew up and there's bits and pieces of things I don't remember other people in my family remember things I know my mom used to beat my brothers up badly when they were young I didn't get it too much I didn't get beaten that bad I know she beat my younger brother my older brother several times uh where he couldn't even go to school they had to take him out and then uh he ran away so it's uh it was you know it was a lot of triangulation growing up too. I'm interested in hearing a little bit more. So obviously the relationship and the dynamic in the household was very toxic, violent, emotional abuse, all of that, right? And so did that affect you and your mother's relationship? How were you and your mother's relationship? It's weird. I loved her because she was my mom and all I knew as a child. I did love her but I felt like I couldn't I don't know if that makes sense because like if I if I tried to I like I felt like I couldn't trust her I never felt close to her because the abuse triangulation I was starved a lot um like uh not well I mean I was I was supposed to eat rice a lot like like other people in the family had meals like I was supposed to eat like rice that's just one example like i felt like i loved her but like i didn't feel anything like it's hard to explain but after my dad left it was like uh hard to um function in the world i guess yeah one example is like uh going out in the public and talking to people as a kid it was very difficult i was like afraid of everything i don't i don't know how to explain it like from my older brothers after me and all that but at the time i didn't understand my mom was telling them things you know go get them go beat them up you know trying to get us all fighting and then i would fight one brother and another one would come after me and one wanted to you know unalive me so i was always hiding from him and i didn't know who was doing that but i didn't figure it out until therapy so i started to understand more it's called triangulation she was setting us all off against each other so everybody was fighting i didn't talk to my sister for years or just one example you know she'd get mad at me and not speak to me for days you know things like that and this is all narcissist patterns these are common patterns you can find covert malignant overt you know narcissist these are all this almost all the same patterns not everyone was abused as a kid but the patterns are there if people look out for the patterns and I just want to be clear um a lot of this that you do remember as opposed to or when it comes to childhood trauma what age range was that in well the thing with my dad I went through therapy to figure it out took a long time I got it at eight years old I think I believe that I could be wrong it's between eight and nine that's because i tried to measure up pictures i found and when my dad was there and when he left i it took a while to figure it out but i would say between eight and nine gotcha okay thank you for that jack i just wanted to point you know paint the picture of what growing up for you look like and i also want to be clear here because a lot of times um people are not very transparent that when it comes to the trauma the foundation of a narcissist it's the same thing for the empath you might you sometimes empaths grow up in households where siblings are in that same dynamic you came from and then here we got one empath and maybe one narcissist right so like you said it's the same pattern it's in every household you can easily be raising a narcissistic child not knowing that the the the physical abuse between you and their narcissistic parent will affect them you know the abandonment it's it's a lot of things that happen to children that make them either narcissists or empaths it starts from the core is really childhood and i truly believe that i truly see that so i appreciate the transparency there now because i know a lot about kind of how your marriages have been i'm gonna tune in the audience with what i know and then i'm going to ask you some things because i think some people may really want to know some things as far as like being love bombed being devalued being discarded and being in a relationship with a covert narcissist and really it to me it doesn't matter what type of narcissist a lot of it is the same type of abuse the same effect and the same result so you told me um you've been married three times the first one you were kind of young it lasted i think you said five years right that was no we were together five years we were married for less than one okay gotcha you were together about five years but married a little under two years right yes yeah okay and then um the second marriage you were married for two years you had a son with her right no okay i got it all wrong okay zoom uh my second marriage i met her uh uh 2004 okay and we uh divorced in 2018 gotcha okay okay okay how many years is that uh 14 four years yeah yeah okay gotcha see zoom was terrible okay all right so i would like to start with marriage number two because i feel that's kind of where a lot of changes started happening based on what i remember from our first call um no love bomb your second wife yeah i just want to tell you one one thing real quick i know it's off subject but i'm not going to delve into this too long i just want to mention my mom used to tell me how she was abused too so i just wanted to point that out i think it's uh generational trauma so now it's time to end it that's okay so but my first wife you wait you asked my second wife my second wife yeah let's talk about um your relationship with your second wife and my first question is how did you meet and did you love bomber okay yeah how did you get her i met her on a like a dating app and um i gosh i didn't really love bomber but i was uh well yeah i guess i kind of did i i was just really super nice in the beginning and um i was starting i could see that she was falling in love with me really fast so I didn't have to wear the mask too long and love bomb too long and I felt that she had just fallen for me almost immediately I don't understand it but that's what happened so I didn't have to love bomb her and it was a sort of a relief to me because it's difficult to do that uh love bombing doesn't last forever you know it's just to lure you in because it's more difficult for us to keep that facade up you know you have these vapid conversations and uh the the thing is she was she was uh feeling it right away you know and talking about marriage right away so that that went out the window now if you really want to get the love bombing story i got a really good one from my third ex-wife i i actually went and listened to your video about her so i'm gonna get into that one but let me ask you yeah let me let's just get through that second marriage so um let's talk about how that ended let's go so you didn't have a child in the second marriage right yeah yeah okay so let's talk about how that relationship was and how it ended and then we'll go into your third wife okay well it uh i mean i put her through a lot i mean um i i did the traditional narcy things um we would argue and we'd ignore each other for three days i don't know if she was a narcissist or is i don't know but she was kind of doing it back to me which is bizarre so we'd go out in public and maybe she's kidding maybe i took it wrong she degraded me in public i would lash out at her later when we got home then we'd fight for three days i mean this was like on and on and on the problem that we ran into i think when we had our child together it was um me basically being incredibly selfish and not helping like a real man should and i was trying to give her most of the work to do it was difficult and uh you know for her not for me for her she was trying to sorry to cut you off that's really interesting i've heard a lot of people say that and we don't really get detail in that when they say trying to put all the work on her because i know a lot of people know the covert narcissist is selfish so is that what you're referring to just being yeah yeah just selfish like you got it you can take care of this you can take care of that even down to the kids yeah well that's it yeah i mean to be honest yeah i hate to admit it that's what happened yeah uh she would tell you the same thing um there's no reason to embellish anything it's just um it's it's a crappy thing to do to someone i don't at the time i didn't understand why or what i was doing to be honest with you like i knew what was happening but i didn't know why i was doing it i don't know if that makes sense but that's what was happening so i was trying to push off as much as i could on her and i uh couldn't actually handle having a child that was losing sleep in addition to you know not being able to hold the job down because of this disorder as well because if you think about it not every narcissist is going to be able to hold the job down so i wasn't able to to hold the job down that's interesting that's interesting that you say that why why couldn't you hold a job down it's it's like it's not like that with every narc but a lot of narcissists go through that because um they're they can't control their emotions and they can't take criticism so if i have a job my boss writes me up i'm gonna try to get my boss fired i'm gonna try to put my boss in trouble that's my goal and then i'll walk right out and i've done that you know walk right out in the middle of a shift i'll show you you know and who's that screwing over it's not being a responsible human being not being a man pushing more responsibility off on my poor ex-wife yeah and she's a really great person i love her still you know but i understand why she left i get it she needed to do that i don't blame her one bit i'm glad she did i'm i'm glad she's happy i'm so so glad so i just heard you say something that's really interesting to me you said i love her still a lot of people are probably yeah like i i love her in a lot of ways it's not true he's lying so tell me what do you mean when you say i love her still or what does that mean for you what does i love you mean for you what does what does saying i love her still or even i love her what does that what does that mean for you like because we've heard y'all say it but to show it is different we don't ever you don't ever show it we don't feel it um so can you hear me yeah yep did you hear what i said though yeah you said how i could love her yeah so because people are because people people think you know narcissists don't love they can't love and you're like you know i love her still even though i treated her like ---- so what yeah what does that mean for you like how do you feel or what does what does i love you really mean coming from someone who's narcissistic yeah that's a good question dang um i don't know how to answer that but like maybe because um because i've uh maybe developed developed more of an ability to love maybe i'm not entirely okay so this is coming from a place of you you being on this healing journey now like at the time how can i say i love her when i'm doing that to her exactly so when you were in a relationship with her did you Was there I love you's? Was it affectionate? Was there any type of like romance? No. Okay. It died away. It slowly started dying. And, you know, she left me for someone else. And I don't blame her one bit because I checked out of it. And I was an immature child as well as my son. You know, I became a child myself. You know, she became like. You had a son with her? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. How are you and your son's relationship? It's really good now. full of laughter and i make it about fun i try to cook with him and you know he's at the age where he won't hold my hand anymore and it's fine but it's full of laughter now uh i take take him to church sometimes i try to try to get him to go more and uh try to explain a little bit about npd to him he's not really fully grasping it yet yeah wow it wasn't good though you know it wasn't good a couple years about two and a half years ago he uh didn't want to come over as much you know it wasn't that good and uh that was an ego blow to me and uh i don't know maybe maybe it's hard to believe but it it it really hurt you know it really hurt it still hurts i don't try not to think about it i don't want to you know be too far off do you think that your son is kind of karma for you or has been karma for the things that you've done and taken you know maybe his mom through or prior people do you think that how he felt about you a couple years ago was kind of some kind of karma in a way probably yeah but that's that's the disorder though yeah we self we can self-destruct and yeah and believe it or not like i know that it's hard to understand but like i wanted to delete myself when this was all happening with him uh through my divorce my son didn't want to see me as much i was arguing with my daughter about being a narcissist then i was in therapy trying to figure it out i didn't want to be here anymore you know i didn't really want to but i didn't want to i didn't know what to do and i still had that belief about god and you know how's he going to feel if i delete myself i know it's weird but even as a kid and i felt that i remember as a kid like was god gonna punish me for that you know yeah i don't know yeah um i'm glad you mentioned being a kid again because i was listening to one of your videos and i heard you talking about pets um and i heard you know that traumatic story about how i think it was your mother who made you guys stuff the kittens into the pillowcase and and threw them in the water bear like drowned them or something like that yeah several times yeah she forced us to kill these uh kittens uh many many times over i thought i thought that was so yeah yeah that's almost psychopathic it's like oh my gosh anyways yeah i just i thought about that for a second when you said when you brought up um kid wow okay so going back to the marriages because you know the whole point of my video is i'm really trying to get people to understand why they why they need to be the one who got away um because even even you yourself have told me if you were to give someone advice that's a victim you would probably tell them it's probably best to leave this person alone and it's not that you're saying it because it sounds good to say but it's really because the disorder the disorder makes this person so self-destructive and it lingers into the life of the person who cares about them and it's unfair so be the one who got away is saying save yourself save your life protect your peace save your child whatever that means um because whether or not this person is self-aware they need to work on themselves the issue is so deep they need to work on themselves and um you have to step away so i want to talk about the impact. So we got the impact of the second wife in that marriage. And then now here comes a third marriage that made an even bigger impact on your life. In my opinion, she's the one who really got away. She's the one who is almost like, it's like she was sent to your life or you were sent to her life. I don't know. Maybe you were sent to each other's life to bring the best out of the situation. Although it was 15 years of her being married to a covert narcissist. So tell me about how you love-bombed her because I listened to that last night. I was like, wow. I love it. Honestly. So you love-bombed her and then you guys got married. Tell us about the third marriage. The third one was, I met her in 2018 and we lasted four years. Wait, so was that right after wife number two? Yeah. How long after? I think three months, four months. Okay. I'm so glad you're so truthful. I appreciate that. Okay, so um three months two ends then about three four months later you met wife number three okay cool so yeah let's hear about the love bombing phase i don't know what you heard in my video i i spent a bunch of money on her in the beginning yep you said yep you said you splurged on her um i don't know i guess you you you gave her that that soft jack voice and told her about the trauma i don't tell me some more no i didn't really tell her i i never really talked about it uh i am i told her okay yeah i told her about it but i didn't get into it okay you know because uh it's hard for me to get deep dived into that of course but i gave her a lot of money in the beginning i helped her out uh helped her with her vehicle helped her buy a new car helped her with uh a lot of money things uh there was a love bombing phase and i was trying to come off as like this absolute perfection of a man in the beginning you know there's no one before me no one after me the best there is the best there was the best there ever will be you know wrestler that says that that's how i felt you know i bought pizzas and i i her kids i took them out to expensive restaurants i did the absolute this was like nothing she ever had before you know and i was uh feeling so entitled and uh i'm like well you know we're less than two months into this thing and i think she's already talking about changing her last name i didn't bring it up you know and um yeah she did she did y'all y'all are jack y'all are some ---- man yeah i believe she did because all that love bombing all that just it felt good it's not it's like you put her on this high i was there i was right you know you had her you had her ready to say i do in in three or four weeks yeah yeah it was actually yeah it's about four weeks later oh my goodness so when when you're when you're love bombing what's really going through your head is it okay i need to try to get this person to like me because if they know who i really am they won't like me like what's really yeah that's it we have to have we yeah we have a mask on and uh we have to portray somebody else you gotta deceive me you gotta lie oh ---- wow okay okay cool so you love bombed her y'all got married so tell us about the marriage because you said this one was 15 years that's a long time no this third marriage was uh four years oh it was four years okay okay gosh i got dang zoom really messed me up that day okay so hold on third marriage was third marriage was four years we were married um three years okay okay whoa okay i was way off so i'm way off because uh i don't remember how many women i've been with you i'm sure you don't i'm sure it's a shame because you've been narking all these women all these years i'm sure i mean oh and speaking of which you did tell me how you met your second wife was what you said it was where i need people to hear this y'all was a dating app a dating app online dating app these narcs are online and i'm not saying that to be funny but it's true i even experienced some myself i was like oh this person seems very narcish and i ran off so yeah yeah okay um them dating apps y'all be the one that got away you get away um yeah observe people you know ask questions observe and take your time if what's the rush yeah it's a red flag to be rushed okay so marriage number three the one that really got away i really felt like i felt i don't understand this i don't know what happened to me and i've been with a lot of women and she was like the one that really affected my life i don't know how or why but you know i started degrading her after the mask fell off like i'll give you an example real quick she was at walmart and i said well can you go back and get me something and she wouldn't do it she said no and that's one thing you could do to really piss off a narc just say no and that i ended up ending the relationship over a freaking banana yeah yeah yeah so you discarded someone that's a punishment because you know you're going to come back or they're gonna come back the discard thank you yeah punish all of these you guys punished you how many times would you say you discarded that woman in that oh god about a hundred you know it was every other every time she made me pissed you know and and she dumped me a few times to be fair but she just wasn't that weak of a woman to handle what i was giving her and she divorced my sorry ass yep she took me that way out of the house yep and and i'm so grateful i met her believe it or not because she made me uh go to therapy to get her back therapy tell them about how she tricks you into getting help she she said if i leave for six months and get therapy she'll take me back so that she separate after it was obvious but i'm an idiot i believed her right yeah they don't think other people are lying you know sometimes right they got all these tactics she had to manipulate you to get out of it she did she was smart very very smart and and that's the ones that i feel like you the narcissist ends up respecting the most because we're the ones who really put accountability in your face we're like listen i love you but i love you is not enough to tolerate the man that you're you're showing me giving me i won't take it and i have the option to walk away and i will and i think that at some point in everybody's life even the life of a narcissist you hit that ultimate collapse you come to face yourself and it's like you have to make an ultimate decision am i gonna try to fix myself get some help here so i can be better for those around me that i actually love or am i just gonna stay like this and never take accountability and just die this way you know yeah and so i i it's just so big of you to be where you are i'm really proud of you and i'm happy that you gave me this time in this moment because i think it's so important for people to take pride in knowing that there's power in walking away and cutting off narcissistic people is life-saving because they're just going to drag you down they have a disorder and they can't they typically can't even help it they don't even really know what the hell they're really doing most of the time so it's like you need to run for your life you don't exactly you don't need to try to figure it out you don't need to try to force them you don't need to try to fight it out like it's it's draining like three women even two like it's like come on and you said both of them were pretty decent women so it's like we know they aren't the problem you know so it's like victims you're you're not the problem if you know they are what they are whether diagnosed or not save yourself be the one who yeah way now you're sitting somewhere sharing with the world how she basically helped you save your life and that's big that's big yeah she did yeah i owe her a lot, I I really do, yeah she she helped you pay attention to what's important and I you had a child with her too, right? No, not my third wife, no, okay okay, okay, gotcha, so you have a daughter, you have a son, okay, oh man, I I'm really proud of you, Jack I really am, um, I I don't know if I already know, I didn't ask you this, so in our last interview one of the things that I had asked you was do you feel like there was something that drove you to behave the way that you behave, you know, were there were there voices, was there, um, because I feel like spiritual, so yeah, do you think that you know, does this feel like it's been a spiritual battle for you, as far as just some of the behaviors, it's so scary, you won't believe this, it freaked me out a couple years ago by discovering this, I had uh, I don't know how to explain it to you, it was nightmare fuel, but uh, when when I when I wanted to um do something wrong, that's obviously wrong or bad, I can hear my mother's voice telling me this woman is no good for you, you need to hurt her feelings, bring her down, she has a big ego whispering like, you know, like an evil serpent or something and I was listening to that my entire life until the last maybe two years and uh I didn't realize what the things that it was telling me to do were like, for a better word, I can't think of anything else but demonic and evil sick, yeah totally sick, and I don't know where it comes from generational trauma, Satan himself but i kind of snuffed that out and i don't hear it as much anymore or when i do i don't listen to it yeah because um it took me a while to understand it yeah and i was like love bombing and then discarding and then i was never physically abusive but you can ignore someone like they don't exist yeah how bad is that think about that you know i mean that's that hurts a woman that you're married to worse than almost well i mean cheating but that's really bad to do like walk in another room and they're there and you just don't acknowledge them or you go days without speaking you know that's a horrible abusive pattern it is you know horrible breaks that person down so bad it does you know it does have you ever um went back and apologized to any of the people that you've hurt in the past or thought about it yeah you have yeah but they don't want to hear that yeah they don't want to hear it i wouldn't i wouldn't want to hear it if my ex was on me right now i would hang up on his okay i get it i get it i don't hear it i just don't i understand um yeah because it's been a lot you know it's been a lot and it's heartbreaking um would you say you regret anything that you've done yeah i cry about it a lot you know believe it or not like uh me and my wife my well my wife god my ex-wife we went out i actually she we closed our house and got a little bit of money and I'm like you want to go out to dinner so I took her out and I was kind of breaking down a little bit and I was apologizing but you know she just didn't care and that's the worst thing you could do to a narc she's like whatever you know I'm gonna get another egg roll unbothered baby yeah exactly she's moved on yeah yeah I mean and I know that hurts because like I said she brought a different experience to your life um man it's I just appreciate your your transparency I can't I can't stress that enough you don't know how much this means to me um I I resonate with your ex-wife so much I feel like a lot of the audience they're like yeah that was me I I had to become that unbothered impact because enough really became enough and I got burnt out I got tired i just like i had to just move on i had to thrive forward and you do because if you don't it's a lifetime of pain you know um whether or not it's just it's it's just too much i got two things to say real quick um there's doctors on youtube and these are therapists and doctors that advise women to work on these marriages and advise not to quit and advise sometimes they they have to work on And I just think that's so stupid. I'm so sorry to say that, but these are doctors and they're that stupid. They just don't grasp. They don't understand how stupid that is to tell someone to work on a marriage with a narcissist. It just will not work. it will not work i'm sorry it will not work it can't no relationship with a narcissist can work because like you just said they there is the problem is it's a problem and it it just that person has to attend to that problem right yeah my i know you're an empath or you consider yourself that i have an empath in my life my friend katie's been there like most of my life see the thing is that like that's just one person out of my all my friends and family as that empath probably saved my life you know so many different times if you think about that so there are good people out there in this world although there are narcissists but i'm glad that we have people like you and and you know you're helping a lot of people by doing that and my job it's not the money it's just I want my family to remember my name and remember what I went through and know my story for the rest of my life I don't know how long I have and you know that's a good thing you're doing and that's what we need to do we need to overcome that evil we do it's an evil thing and we need to overcome it you said it and i'm so happy you said that you said it not me you said i'm so happy you said that um but this brings a whole different perspective to what we're all dealing with and i appreciate you um i know the last question that i asked on the last interview was what would you say to someone who's a narcissist that's watching this or who feels that they may be and what would you say to someone who's victimized by a narcissist and that would be my last two questions the first time you're a narcissist you won't admit to being a narcissist isn't that bizarre but if you're yeah if you're a narcissist you will absolutely need therapy and you need to find God, that's only two things to help me, God and therapy hard work I put in every day to learn something new about this disorder and it feels good to help people you know, and that's the two things you can do and I don't think it's anyone else's responsibility to do that, but yours you can't rely on your friends and family to help you, you have to confront the issue, move your ego out of the way and you have to get therapy or you're going to self-destruct, yeah it's a choice or you're going to ruin so many people's lives, yeah um, second part was you had another question, um if someone's dating a narcissist, is that what you said, yeah or yep, anyone who's dealing with them now what would you, you got to get out, advice you got to leave, there's there's no hope, there's no hope, they have to get help on their own, I'm by myself I don't have anyone with me I don't have a partner, I'm alone you know, so I'm able to work on myself and I don't think there's a cure but I think that you can manage it and I think you can live a happy life, so for me a cure is, it's my family happy, am I happy, that's all that matters to me, that's a cure for me, but if you're in a marriage, you need to get out immediately, don't listen to doctors that tell you to work on this it's a, it's something you'll never understand, it's an evil and you yourself know that because you were there, yeah, and you saw evil, did you not, it's evil, there's no other word for it, yeah it is what it is yeah, you have absolutely, how do you explain that to normal people, right, it's such a sick evil thing yeah, only if you experience it, there's no hope, there's no hope, you need to get out, that's what I would tell people immediately, I appreciate that, I do people need to hear that especially from someone who's been the abuser or whatever but um i i just i'm really proud of you i hope that you continue to you know thrive and heal in your journey and on on your in your on your journey in your life as you're doing, because I think that what you're doing is impactful. Right now, a lot of people only know about one or two real self-aware narcissists out there, but they're not doing what you're doing. There is something very interesting about you because of your truth, your transparency, the vulnerability to say that I want to be held accountable. I know what I did. I know where I've been. I know what it caused. And I want to help by letting people know that i'm confessing my sins because i know that that's what it was i was in an evil place and i'm i chose to get to the place of light that is possible for all of us um so gosh i appreciate you thank you for helping me in in power and educate survivors out there um i pray that this interview this story helps someone tremendously um those of you who need to contact me you know reach out all the information is in our it's in the description box it's um including Narcissist Hex uh channel if you want to go ahead go ahead I encourage you to go subscribe listen to his stories there's so much information and the things that he talks about and um give me a thumbs up if you enjoyed watching this interview and if you learned something from it uh but until next time beautiful people I appreciate all of you Jack thank you so much I look forward to having you back on this show again another time so we could talk about more in-depth things i know people are going to throw a lot of questions um in the comments about things they may want to know and if you're open to it you're more than welcome to come back but guys thank you for watching tonight jack i appreciate you once again to all my lovely people wherever you are i appreciate your time today thank you so much for being here with us i'll see y'all monday night 9 p.m eastern and time and um enjoy your weekend guys i will be back soon make sure to like comment subscribe hit the notification bell don't miss those weekly lives and videos all right guys have a thank you so much no problem jack take care until next time friend god bless you thank you thank you everybody all right good night okay um guys i had to hide y'all's chats um it was just kind of getting crazy and i did not want to be distracted but i'm gonna let you guys go i'm gonna have to go back in and look at the chat because i had to stop it um just out of respect um this is something serious that i'm doing i take it serious this this this is healing work for a lot of people there's levels to this and so i take this very seriously and so um if i go in and see that you were disrespectful in the chats tonight i will block you because this is not the environment for that if you're easily triggered by hearing other people's stories and you're not mature enough to handle where people are at on their healing journey this community is not for you it's not for you i'm not tolerating certain things here i'm just not i take what i'm doing very serious i'm not here to come sit down and bash narcissists to you guys that's not what i'm about that's not what this is about either and so if that's what you're looking for this is not the channel for you but thank you for your time thank you for being here i appreciate this i look forward to doing a lot more of this if you're someone who's watching this that would like to do a live with me share your story talk about in-depth npd awareness situations please reach out um and contact me all the information is in the description box below but thank you guys i'll let you go have a beautiful friday until next time beautiful people take care guys bye