Kourtney & Khloé Kardashian Talk Motherhood and Breastfeeding

I think being a mom in and of itself is such a hard, but rewarding, beautiful job. And everyone's just trying to figure out what's best for them and what works in their life. I think it's ridiculous when people pass judgment on somebody else when they don't even know their entire situation. For me, it was even, I remember I used to get almost frustrated with you. Not that you even did anything, but you would just talk about this experience you had and how beautiful and high-respect for 18 plus, and it's like, what do you mean you're not producing milk? You would just say things, not at all trying to criticize me, but I would take it like, it's not that easy. I remember I would eat the stupid cookies, I would drink the stupid tea, I would be on this diet, I would pump every time she was napping, but it never stopped. And as soon as I would pump, she would wake up and I would have to breastfeed her again and my breasts were bleeding, it was horrible. And you would always try to help me and give me tips, and I was like, it's just not working. I feel like I wanted to strangle you. Because your experience seemed so easy, and it wasn't. And it's not so easy, I remember the first month being the hardest. There is pain involved. Once I figured that out, then it was pretty easy. For me, there was pain. Pain wasn't my problem. I think parents go through pain for their kids, they don't care. I would do anything. It was more, I wasn't producing milk, I wouldn't go through anything. I was like, whatever's the best for her. But I understand, I was under a lot of stress. There was a lot going on in my life at the time that I think played a part in why I wasn't producing as easily. But I don't know, it was just a lot. And then once Tru started losing weight, because you don't know how much they're feeding. It's not a ball, you can't hold it. She had three ounces. I would do it, she always was hungry, had really bad acid reflux. And then I remember the doctor was like, she's fine. As soon as you start losing weight though, we have to start either mixing some formula in. And I remember the first time I had to give her formula, I felt so, like I failed. And I felt so bad about myself. And then I was like, why? Who's even judging me? Like, who knows? And you have to feed your daughter, and you're not making milk. I think that stress definitely plays into it. Stress does, but also being alone in Cleveland by myself, not having family there. You're also just trying to figure it out, like I was. I'm still just trying to figure it out for myself. And like, is this right for me? For me, I almost felt like I swear I was smuggling drugs by buying formula. I was like, why am I even acting like this? Why do I care if people know that I'm formula feeding? How did you know which formula to buy? I think I asked Cameron. I knew Kylie wasn't going to breastfeed. And I used HIP. You should have had Kylie there too. But I know Kylie wasn't going to breastfeed. That was her choice from the start. And she found HIP formula from Germany. And it was like, I read all these reviews. It was awesome. And True had really bad acid reflux. And yeah, I've asked my doctors everything. And it was great. And I love my doctor. She made me feel so great about not being able to breastfeed. Because so many people are like, well, you're not trying hard enough. You're not doing it right. And at some point, like you're already delirious. And you're like, baby, I can't sleep. I was alone in Cleveland. I just felt really lonely. That sometimes, like when she was asleep, I maybe just needed to shower. Or I maybe just needed 20 minutes to like zen out. But I remember when I think I tweeted or something, like that I was done breastfeeding. Or somebody asked me and I answered. And I was like, OK, whatever. I'm going to hear it. But let me just say, OK, I've done breastfeeding. I don't know how I said it. And people were like applauding me. I hated every minute of it. It was torture. I always felt like I was never giving her true enough food. She was always hungry. And once I stopped, though, the amount of pressure that was lifted off my shoulders and I could enjoy my daughter and actually see, OK, I'm all for breastfeeding. I tried. But if you can't do it, you don't have to feel like a failure. You don't have to feel like I'm bad at this mom thing. Like I'm great at this mom thing. Breastfeeding, I wasn't very bad. But seeing like, OK, great, my daughter consumes six ounces at this time or at this time, it made me feel so good to know, no, now I have security. I feel safe. I did not feel safe breastfeeding. I always felt like she wasn't fit. I don't believe it's true. I just don't that kids have stronger immune systems if they breastfeed or not. We don't. I really don't. True is one badass chick. She doesn't get sick. Maybe it's also about our formulas today. I don't know. Because the formulas before, I think they used to be so much. Even with yours, it's still like a lot. No, I think that starting with analogy, because when we started having healthier ones, I honestly never gave them coconut. So when they started having milk, it was a pomegranate milk or milk? It's not cow's milk. I think they tried goat's milk and cow's milk. And how do you choose that? Is that just your personal preference? Or is that based off your child? Yeah, I think it's based off whatever you want. So we started with goat's milk for a reason. And then cow's milk for a different reason. Because goat's milk is healthier. I think becoming a new mom, you get judged in general in a lot of ways. I think moms tend to be judgmental towards other moms and really on everything. I remember just commenting a little bit, if I was wearing flat shoes, they'd be like, how about you're a mom, you can't wear heels. And then if I do wear heels, they'd be like, sorry, you're a kid, you're wearing heels. You know, anything literally down to the smallest details, they would criticize. Did you ever breastfeed in public? No, I didn't really leave the house. I don't think I would, though. I'm just someone who, like I would have a blanket or something. I'm not someone who's just whipping out their breast to breastfeed. I don't have a problem with someone else does. But I just know, like, me, that's not for me. And I was definitely comfortable to breastfeed in front of everyone. Yeah, you would walk around with the cow pumping down the door. I would answer the room service with the pump on. You would. I think for anybody that's trying to breastfeed, I think, first of all, you're doing an awesome job. I think just attempting anything for the health and well-being of your child is beautiful. But I think the more pressure we put on ourselves to live up to some standard, it's unneeded stress and pressure. Just being a mom is enough and trying to find that balance. And if it's something that you want to do and that you can do it, do it. And keep pushing through. And you've got this. And if it's something that really is not meant for you and your lifestyle, that's okay, too. And I think nowadays there's so many great, healthy formulas. And I think as long as you're doing whatever's the best for your child, that's the most important thing. Sometimes we get lost in trying to always prove something to the next cyber person. And it's not for ourselves. And that's what's so sad. Because there's so many shamers and you can't worry about that. And I think also just as moms, it doesn't matter what you do. And so just you can't worry about that. You'll never win. But I just think it would be nice to just come together more.