Matt Rife CRACKS Celebrities To Their Faces!

From boldly challenging Iggy Azalea's juicy booty. How much of that booty is really real? To calling out Chrissy Teigen's BS on horoscope. As a Sagittarius, what are some of your like attributes of a Sag? I think it's high energy, I think you love or you hate, right? You love and you hate? Yeah. You know who else loves and hates? Everybody in this room Chrissy, you know how vague that sounds? It's high time Matt Rife is unleashed on Hollywood celebrities. Sure, he's currently reigning at the top of stand-up comedy circuits, but the main cult is still safe from him. Not for long though, because here's what happens when mainstream media finds itself faring off Matt Rife. I wish to go back in time and I want to star in the hit comedy Dude, Where's My Car? Alongside Ashton Kutcher. No, no, no, I'd be playing Ashton's role, but you know, make it funny. Back in his early wild days at Wild N' Out, Matt packed massive swag in an itty-bitty career facing off against many A-listers. No, I am not talking about Zendaya for once. We're on the saucy, aussie Iggy Azalea. But let's just say when Matt had a face-off with her, he wasn't at his prime, savage self. I just wanted to say, I think you all are real beautiful. Thank you. Like really, real beautiful. And myself, my castmates, and I know every dude in here would really like to know, how much of that booty is really real? You want to know, these guys over here? Yes, yes, yes, yes. All right, I'm going to put you up on game. It's real in your hands, but y'all don't need to be worrying about booty that's above your weight class. Okay, you got to give him brownie points for trying, because that delivery was immaculate. And with time, he only got better. So this time when he found himself against Chrissy Teigen, he knew exactly how to trap her. This is Matt Rife performing in the open mic round for Bring the Funny Show where Chrissy was just not safe from him, at all. Awesome. I'm dating right now because Chrissy doesn't know what she's doing with her life. And I'm figuring out I have a type, man. I have a strong type. It's definitely older women. I mean, like much older than myself. I mean, to the point where you got some kids, that means you also have snacks. Like I'm so easy. I'll sleep with you for a lunchable. That's a fact. Ever, do you realize that? I can help your kids with their homeworks. I took that class last year. Like it's a win-win for everybody, really. It's a good situation to be in. And I just feel like younger girls are into too many dumb things. Like things that don't even actually exist. Like, like horoscopes. Oh, people got mad. All right, let's do this now. Round of applause. What women in here believe in like the Zodiac sign stuff? Clap if you believe in it. Chrissy, do you know your sign is? Sagittarius. As a Sagittarius, what are some of your like attributes of a Sag? I mean, I think it's high energy. I think you, you, you love or you hate, right? You love and you hate? Yeah. You know who else loves and hates? Everybody in this room, Chrissy. You know how vague that sounds? That sounds ridiculous right now. That would give me the worst catchphrase ever. If you got two arms, two eyes and two legs, you might be a Sagittarius. I like that, bro. Chrissy barely survived that ambush, but late night TV hosts had it even worse. When Matt stopped by The Tonight Show, he oh-so-sneakily called out Jimmy for rejecting him as a guest in the past. Seriously. It made Jimmy buffer so hard that he instantly tried to change the subject. But then Matt reminded him of his current success and you could see poor Jimmy stuttering till the very end. I've been doing comedy for 11 years as of last year, 10 of it in L.A. And it's just, it beats you down hearing like so much rejection. Like I couldn't get a special anywhere. I couldn't get on a TV show anywhere. I couldn't get on the Jimmy Falun show. Yeah, oh my God. Wow. And I submitted a couple of times. We'll talk after. Okay, yeah. Now, all of these things just weren't adding up. But at a certain point you go, am I delusional? Maybe I'm not funny. Maybe I'm not supposed to do this. And then just one random video kind of changed everything. Yeah, it was a TikTok video. Yeah, I reluctantly started posting on TikTok beginning of last year. I've always hated social media. I think it's so negative and it just stresses me out. So from going from playing clubs for 35 people who got free tickets to, we broke Ticketmaster, which is insane. So yeah, if Travis, Kelsey, if it doesn't work out, holler at your boy. Yeah, yeah. It's been unreal, man. My entire life has changed in a matter of like 14 months. I'm so grateful. Uh, I heard. But if you want to see Matt Rife unfiltered, you take him off the TV networks and drop him on to Kill Tony. Case in point, Rising comic Cam Patterson thought he could walk out wearing a ridiculous cowboy outfit without consequences. But that was just an open-ended invitation for Matt to rip Cam to shreds before he could even set up his first punchline. You look like broke Black Mountain. No. I don't do it. You know what's crazy? I'm never dressing up on this show ever again. I come out here dressed up to the nines in my finest boots. Now I'm getting called a bunch of gay slurs and ----. Look at this sweet, sweet cowboy. Looking, looking like. You see it, nigga. Look at him. Look at the boots, nigga. Bro, sweatpants with boots is the most ratchet ---- I've ever seen. But it's hard though, nigga. This is why Beyonce didn't win. Look at the boots. Howdy, white bitch. You're like Kurt from Blazing Saddles. With that, the gay movie? That's not the gay movie, right? All right. As long as it wasn't a gay movie, I'm happy. I'm good, dawg. It's good. You look like Crooks and Dunn. What? Lil Nas X Con. No, no. Okay, that's better. X Conway 20. Come on, more, more. Johnny Who Stole My Cash. Dolly Parton and the Black Guy. Darius Rucker. It's just infectious when he talks. And he really was in his element when he went to the Kelly Clarkson show. By the looks of Kelly, she may have gotten panicked that he might hijack her own show. It's insane to me. Because you've ever been skydiving? No, I haven't. Yeah. If you have any level of depression at all, I wouldn't recommend it. So were you always funny as a kid? Oh, yeah. I was in constant detention. And my mom would whoop me for days to be in detention. And now that same skill that got me detention just bought her a house. There you go. Really? Who would have thought? Yes, yes. And now I'm making money off of it. Whatever. Now on to Matt's weird side quests. Did you know even medical sedation can shut this man down? Matt literally got hooked up to laughing gas at Dr. Brady's dental clinic. And saying it was a wild ride is a massive understatement. It seemed like the gas didn't even have an effect on him. The dude was just puffing and cracking jokes at Brady like nobody's business. That I posted about this guy. And the internet just makes wishes happen. Next time we're going to see if Margot Robbie is available to try to... I'll reschedule shows. Yeah, right, right. See what's available. You seem like you'd be a good wingman. Yeah, yeah. That's for sure what I'd be doing if Margot Robbie was here. Helping you see what's available. For sure. Listen, on today's episode of Swapping Jobs, I'm going to teach Matt Reif how to do a root canal. And then we're going to let him loose on a bunch of patients. And I'm going to take over his set tonight at the Helium Comedy Club. And we're just going to see what happens. That is going to be equally damaging to both of our careers. I got... I mean, you want to hear one of my bangers? Absolutely. Okay, so how did the... How did Dennis become a brain surgeon? I don't know. He slipped. Oh my god. So stupid. Do not slip. Crank it up. We're going a little higher. See what else we can find out. Okay. Talk about that. Not high enough. But... We got Carrot Talk or Pete Davidson. What do you think? Like, who wouldn't run a watch? Yeah. Carrot Talk, for sure. Oh yeah. One giant muscle. I did a movie with him. He's actually very nice. Did you really? Yeah, he's so nice. No way, what movie? It's called Don't Suck. It's a softcore porn. Oh, gay porn. No, I'm just kidding. So Matt Reif... I would never describe gay porn as softcore, ever. Even the softest gay porn is hardcore, dawg. That's true. That's probably true. I'll take your word on it. I don't know what you're even talking about. You're literally wearing a thong. I don't know. Honestly, the flag bearer of Red Flags. Lauren Compton might have had it worse on her own podcast. She practically laid out a red carpet of bait for Matt to attack from the second he sat down. And Matt didn't hesitate for a single molest to take every opening she gave him. This is how lethal he can get. That's why TV networks try to censor him. Like when Matt stopped by CBS Morning to promote his Christmas special, the CBS team was scrambling to conceal his R-rated humor. Well, that just makes Matt amp it up even higher and call them out point blank. I love a white Christmas, dude. I'm sure a black Christmas is fun, too. I'm sure it's equally as fun. I've just never been invited. The special comes on the heels of his record-breaking Stay Golden tour, and he is keeping the momentum going with 40 new dates worldwide in 2026. Matt Reif, good morning. I love that you guys found the most PG-15 seconds of that entire segment. We looked hard. And it was hard. That special, we thought maybe we'll pull from another special. It's a morning show, Matt. It's a morning show. Just play the credits. Credits are good. Well, thank you. Is that what you want? Because when people cringe and winch, you sort of like that. True. Yeah, of course. Comedy is meant and built to walk the line. That's the very rare freedom that we get as performers, and I love that. Do you ever worry about crossing the line? No, I don't think there is. How come? You can't. There's no line to cross in comedy. It's a personalized art form, right? Like, it doesn't have to be forever. It's never going to be for everybody. You're never going to make 8 billion people laugh at the exact same thing, right? I think as long as your intentions are clear and the context of you being a comedian at a comedy show, I don't think there is a line that you can cross. Everyone should be on the same page. We're here to laugh. It might not hit every time, but if one person laughs, technically it is funny. You did your job. Okay, the CBS interview was a little boring for his taste, but trust Matt to spice things up by playing a drinking game for an Elle interview. He had to answer some really interesting things, one of them being which celebrities he'd rather, well, let's just watch the segment to find out. It was Eric Clapton. There you go. Would you know my name? Being serenaded to that would, I don't even know if I need the pills. Yeah, they'd be drinking orange juice and vodka in the bed and I'd go in there and just play it for them. It's so hard to smash with a roommate. I remember my first apartment in LA. I was living with my manager's son at the time and it was a studio. There was no door into the bedroom, so it was really an open floor plan. I lived on the couch and I had the small closet and then he had what would be considered the bedroom. I remember he was out of town one weekend and this girl wanted to come over and we did sex in his bed and she was like, what are all those clothes doing out there? I was like, oh yeah, I let my friend live on the couch. Yeah. Oh, always. Yeah. If you thought Elle got spicy, his room with Cosmopolitan was an absolute slaughterhouse. They sat him down to review real world dating profiles and Matt understood the assignment. I will say he was incredibly respectful about it, but that didn't mean he was pulling any punches. Keep your eyes open because there is a very real chance your own profile got torched in there too. Brianna, 26, from Alabama. She's an experiential designer. No idea what it means, but I'm open to it. I like learning about new stuff. Let's take a look at some of the photos. First one, mirror selfie, face hidden. Big red flag. Show your face. My most irrational fear, teleportation. I think you're safe. What in the black mirror is she talking about? What? I would love to smoke weed with this girl so much. I want to know where she got this inside information. Are people teleporting? Is that the new Uber? Next up, we have Hannah, 24. Already a red flag. Okay. Let's take a look at some of the photos. Photo number one, cute. Maybe heading to a more popular place. So maybe she doesn't know any promoters. That's a good thing. Second picture, her with a group of friends standing in the middle of traffic. You know what? They can stay there. I don't like a girl who's messing up traffic for everybody else. People are trying to get places. None of them are even looking at the camera anyways. All right. Up next, we got a dude's profile. Let's tear it to shreds. John, backwards hat. Not a good first look, dog. Okay. This hat is a top away from being a visor. He's an ESG consultant. I don't know what that is, but it doesn't sound fun for sure. Maybe don't talk about that on the first date. First photo, him at the beach. Okay. Not bad. Maybe more closeup photo next time. This looks like every evidence of Bigfoot ever. Second photo. Standing in front of more water. Thirsty. Okay. Wearing cargo pants. Good luck. Ripping random dating profiles to pieces is easy money for Matt, but stepping into Caleb Presley's Sunday conversation is an entirely different war zone. Now, we know Caleb is infamous for his weird brand of comedy, but still, it felt like Matt was not prepared for what he was getting into. And honestly, I don't think I've seen him laugh this much in any interview so far. So enjoy the treat, guys. What would you say to a fan who wants to come sit front row at a Matt Rife show, but she's scared that you're going to pick on her for being... She's 550 pounds. There's almost 0% chance I'm not going to talk to you if you're 550 pounds. The three most handsome men in the world. Us. Okay. How did you get your jaws like that? Gum? I don't know. I don't know how it happens. Don't lie to me. I wouldn't lie to you. We just started. It says, Matt Rife has been accused of perjury. Do you have any sources to cite? I misread that. You misread it. Matt Rife has been accused of surgery. That's actually worse than perjury. Have you ever had surgery? No, but I'm open to it. I'm surgery open-minded. Is it crazy that people think you're so handsome that it's legitimately impossible? People think you're so handsome it's humanly impossible. When did I have the money to do that? How much is a BBL? 10 maybe? Probably go less if you really want one. I would have just done that. Nobody pays attention to your jawline if you got a fat ass. That sucks. On God, brother. People tell me I have double chin. They say that? That's not true, is it? People say Glooney Balls has the jaws of a shark and the penis of a dolphin. I don't know what's worse. Do you believe that? No. Are dolphins all women? Isn't that a thing? Dolphins have big wieners? Dolphins are all women? No, that's a stupid thing. I take that back. Dolphins are the women? You say dolphins are all women? Dolphins are the women and men of the sharks. And then there's... No, that's so stupid. I take that back. No, no, no. Dolphins are women who marry men sharks? I don't think so. They're so dumb. I'm a college dropout. What are you trying to say? Yeah, it's a crazy world. Finally, closing it all out with the time when he joined Theon Vaughn's podcast. And just like Matt's time with Caleb, this was total brain rot. The entire time, it sounded like two dudes high AF in the basement just cracking each other. Honestly, by the time it ends, you can't figure out if they're getting funnier or you are getting dumber by the minute. Yeah. You **** with magic? I mean, I think it's, you know, I'm kind of like... That's where the black in me shows up at the surface, bro. When people start doing a lot of magic, you know? It feels like it could be too real? It's just like, if this dude's doing this right here, what's he doing in his... You know what I'm saying? If he's willing to show us this, what's he doing at the house? That's a good point. Also, picturing somebody learning magic in their house by themself is also one of the funniest things I can imagine. I can't picture anything lonelier. Nobody around to see your wallah, or your kazam, or whatever your ******* power word is. I don't know. Is that not a magician word? Is that like a chef? Is that chef ----? That's a good question, bro. Yeah, do chefs and magicians beef over their, like, over their, like, verbal, like, ejaculate, or whatever it's called? At this point, just take this video as my official petition to make Matt Rife the next Dave Chappelle, or Ricky Gervais hosting the Oscars, or the Golden Globes, or whatever. Because I really want Hollywood celebrities to get a taste of Rife. In fact, some of them have in the past. Click the video on the screen to catch more of that destruction. If you like this video, don't forget to give a subscribe, too. And tell me, do you agree that Matt Rife should be a Hollywood regular by now, or not? Peace out, people.