SHE'S NO HELP AT ALL! / ALLOTMENT GARDENING UK

I've got to move on, what the heck is that? No, no, I'm out. I've only got a couple of hours down here, I've got to get stuff done Einstein. Is this all you do on my plot, you don't chase mice? You should be hanging around with weeds, you're better than them. Guys, I think something might be in my greenhouse. Just as I approached it, as my shadow kind of went past the glass, I heard something run into my, like something move in my greenhouse basically. I think something's in here. It'll run out on me, hopefully it's just hiding, it's just going to stay hidden until I'm gone. If you can hear me, please, and understand me as well, please stay hidden until I'm gone, okay? Slightly concerned it might be an RAT, but I'm not going to dwell on it. Am I going to dwell on it? Probably. Hopefully it will just leave us alone. Hello, how are you all doing? Welcome back to my allotment garden, my allotment channel. I have come down quite early this morning, it's actually 10 past 8, it's so quiet out, I love it. All I can hear is the birds, there's no building work. Yet, though I'm sure that will start up about 9 o'clock on the dot. Remember what we said. And I've just come down here super early before I have to start work, so I can do a couple of jobs, get a few bits and bobs done, and just kind of enjoy the fresh air, and getting out early in the morning, it's just so nice to be honest. I haven't been here for a couple of days, and we had some sun yesterday, and I've just planted out some new seeds, radish seeds. So I need to water those straight away, and then also I want to give my pumpkins a feed, because I don't think they've had a feed in quite a long time, and they are still sort of actively growing. So, I think we're going to start with some watering. And I found my watering can rose, so I'll be able to actually water properly this time. So let's go grab the watering can, grab some water, get going. Hey, good morning. Good morning. Oh, do you want to go into my greenhouse? Just to let you know, there might be something for you in the greenhouse. A little furry rodent. Do you want to go and see? Do you want to go and see? No? It's so unhelpful. You're the most unhelpful cat. This is all you do on my plot. You don't chase mice. You don't do anything. Yeah, look at it. Yes, I know it's a cat, Einstein. Einstein is trying to warn me there's a cat there. I can hear... I know there's a cat, Einstein. He's trying to warn me. See that clicking sound? That's a warning sign that robins do to other robins, to let them know that there's danger nearby. I like to think that he's doing it to me. Yeah. Oh, look, he's waiting for his food now. Honestly. Let's see. I have to go and feed you now, won't I? I was going to do the watering first. Right, OK, I'll go and get your food then. All right, all right. I'm going to have to stay by you, aren't I, in case that cat comes? He's watching you. Right, well, I'll watch you and he'll watch you. We'll all watch you, Einstein. Yeah. I've got to stand here now and watch you, and make sure the cat doesn't get you. Yeah. Can you see where the cat is? Can you see just through the trees there? That's where the cat's waiting. She's not looking at you right now, Einstein, so I'd eat if I were you. Yeah. Oh, honestly. I've only got a couple of hours down here. I've got to get stuff done, Einstein. So you know how I was really worried about butterflies, cabbage white butterflies, getting my brassicas that I've just planted out, and I was really upset about that net, because I bought a specific net to keep cabbage white butterflies out, and somebody stole it, basically. Stole half of it. I actually don't think that's been my biggest concern with these, or my biggest predator. I think the birds are coming down and stripping the leaves. I keep looking at them, thinking, what is doing this? And I think it's birds. It could still be caterpillars. I could be wrong. But the way that these leaves are being stripped, because what birds do is they come down, they sit by it, and they strip the leaves and eat them. They absolutely love the leaves of brassicas. These are kohlrabi. So these are a particular sort of texture that birds seem to love. And then on these ones, that could be birds. It could be slugs. It could be cabbage white butterflies. It could be caterpillars. It could be anything. But I have a feeling that this is birds. So what I'm going to do is try and find a big net and put it over this structure. It won't keep butterflies out, but it will keep birds out. And seeing as this little lady is absolutely no help whatsoever when it comes to chasing the birds, she just likes sitting there watching them. Yeah. Honestly. See, this is exactly why I don't like growing stuff up a net. You know, every time I make those structures, and I'm like, oh, I'm going to have to use netting on it, and I really don't want to, it's because when the crop dies back, it just gets stuck in the netting, and it's just such a nightmare to get it all out. It just takes ages. But obviously, because nets are sort of made of plasticky material, you don't want to keep buying it. You want to sort of reuse it as many times as you physically can, you know, until it's no good as netting anymore. So it's just... Am I just complaining? Yes, I am. Shut up, Emma. Get on with it. Oh, look at that sun that's come out. Isn't that gorgeous? That's autumn sun, that is. Where it's a little bit lower in the sky, and it gives everything a really beautiful glow. Isn't that gorgeous? Wow. Look at that sun. Oh, my gosh. We weren't predicted any sun today at all, so this is just lovely. Probably goes without saying... Where did I just put it? Where did I put it? Where is it? The second I put that thing on the floor, I knew I'd never find it again, but I still did it because I just live in perpetual hope. Oh, it's there. Honestly. Obviously, it goes sort of without saying that if you use netting against birds, make sure to pull it tight and also make sure that it goes right down to the ground and then peg it so that it can't sort of be lifted because I've seen so many people with netting that's sort of got a tear in it or it's got a gap in it and birds get in and then they get stuck in there and if they get stuck in there, it means the cat or the fox has got a chance of getting them and also it's just not nice for the bird, you know? Nobody wants to be stuck in a net, birds included. And then, mate, I'm afraid, look, I appreciate you and everything but I just don't think you're doing a very good job so I think I might actually... I mean, do you want to sit there? You can sort of sit there if you want to and pretend that you're doing a good job but this scarecrow is absolutely blooming useless. I'm sorry, mate, but I can't lie. Right, and then, like I said, I'm going to feed the pumpkins because they are starting to grow. They're starting to do their best. This is just a tomato feed. It works perfectly fine for pumpkins but also you could use a liquid seaweed feed as well. They sort of both contain similar things. I think this one contains maybe a little bit more than just the seaweed. I think this one sort of contains potassium. It contains potassium, nitrogen and also, what's the other one? Phosphorus which is sort of all the things. It also has magnesium and calcium oxide in it so it kind of just contains all the things that your plants will need completely as a whole whereas I think the seaweed feed I think contains less of the others. I think it's more nitrogen based but that could be complete rubbish. Oh, calcium oxide and magnesium is what you're supposed to use on plants that have got powdery mildew. So maybe this is just quite good for that. I don't know. I don't know. I think you're supposed to spray it on the plant if it gets it not water the plant with it but I don't know. I hate powdery mildew. It's my nemesis. Oh, God. Music Yeah, look. Some of the leaves are starting to get a bit powdery mildew which is quite frustrating. It's not unusual at this time of year especially with the heat we've had and then the rain. I'm absolutely not surprised they're getting it but it's just so frustrating. They are getting bigger these plants. I wonder if I can kind of tie them in now. Look, they are at long last actually climbing and they actually are getting little pumpkins on so this is great. It's all great news. The only thing is they're sort of climbing all over each other which I don't really want them to do. If you wouldn't mind just, oh, God. Careful, careful. They're really holding on with these tendrils. Aren't they funny things? They can sort of cling on by themselves but I want you to go this way. That's alright. I'll just tie him back in and then he can hold on there. He'll know what he's doing, don't worry. They're used to getting told off by me. Right, if you go that way this is where things get complicated you see. When plants are left to their own devices they just scramble over everyone. This one is climbing over that one so we don't want you to do that mate. So you can go that way. This is your job as a gardener by the way, is to break up fights between plants and animals and stuff. This is your job, this is it. So if this appeals to you be a gardener. Right, okay, now you're both growing the same way. That's really good, well done guys. Keep going, you know, a bit of encouragement for them. Fantastic, I might take off some of these leaves. As always any leaves that are not serving the plant but they are hindering the plant will come off. You know, it doesn't need these leaves. These leaves are doing no good for the plant so they're just hindering it right now, taking its energy. So we're going to take them off. Hopefully that will put a stop to the powdery mildew for a bit. Keep going, holding on to a weed. Not you mate. Keep going, come on. You're better than him. You don't need to be hanging around with weeds. You're better than them. Oh wow! He's got a lovely sized little pumpkin on him. Fantastic, keep going mate, keep going. I'm very proud of you. Oh look, the nasturtiums are coming back too. Gosh, are we just getting a second go at summer? That would be marvellous. Look what I've got round here on the other side. This, this is a patty pan. I've never grown one of these before. I've only got one on the entire plant. And he's very, very small. But how fantastic! These are great plants. I'm going to prioritise patty pans next year, growing them, because they are so fun. They are so fun. I think this one here, I don't think that is the patty pan. I think that's, that might be another, I don't know what that is. And then I don't know what this is either. But it's sort of stunted, it's not got any bigger. And then this little pumpkin down here, by this weed, he never got any bigger than that. Isn't that so funny? But he's perfectly healthy, but he's just stunted. Very hit and miss with the pumpkin archway this year, but things are looking up. I am getting some little pumpkins, and they are starting to climb, so let's not, you know, let's not throw the towel in yet. It's not over until the first frost. They've still got time. Right, it's almost nine o'clock, so everybody's going to start their building work soon. There is one area of the plot that I want to clear. I wanted to do compost today. We're going to have to do it next time, because I just do not have the time. Time is getting away from me. Time is just running out, slipping through my fingers. All of the above. But there is one area that I want to sort out, clear, so that I'm just doing a little bit of the plot every time to try and make it better. You know, trying to make my plot one percent better every time I come. And it's this area over here. I've been working my way around the plot. We've got this lovely apple tree, which only gave me about four apples, and I've just left them on the tree, because I think they're so pretty. I just can't bear to pick them. And then we've got the rose over the archway, which needs some serious help in tying in. And then just over here, the tree that was chopped down by the council is fighting back and trying to grow back. However, it's blocking all of my pathway, so I'm going to have to sort of cut it back a little bit. But I think if I can just sort this area here, especially this crazy rose, I think it will look one percent better. Right, I think this is her impression of helping. So... Oh my gosh, she just lounges all the time. You are worse than my teenagers. So this rose has done really well. I mean, it's really, really big. I've got absolutely no flowers on it, and these things that are coming off, I feel like a few of them can probably be snipped off, because they're going in the wrong direction. And it's getting a little bit out of control. I also, like I said, I've got no flowers on it. So I'm wondering if maybe the plants put any energy into these sort of side shoots, and not so much into the flowers. Could that be a thing? OK, so let's go with that theory and take a few of them off. I'm not sure if I've not cut enough off. I'm wondering if all these ones, because these look like actual rose from the main stem, I sort of don't want to cut too much of it off at the same time. If anything's pointing the wrong way, should I cut it off, or should I allow it to be a little bit bushy? Please let me know. This is supposed to be a climbing rose, and like I said, I've had absolutely no flowers on it. So I really just want to rescue it and see what's going wrong. These are the bits that I've taken off, the really long sort of shoots, big old side shoots coming off that are really quite thick. I've taken a lot of those off. So all we've got left is sort of flimsy little leaves that look like rose leaves. Anyway, if you grow roses, or you know anything about roses, do let me know, because it's all a bit of a mystery to me. But I do think it looks better on the archway. It's sort of tied in now and stuff. It's not quite so wild, so. Right, we'll move on. We'll move on to that thing there. God, there's another one there multiplying. There's another one. He's just sitting there watching me. There's another one. It's okay. No, he wants nothing to do with me. He was just sitting there watching me. Honestly, I've got an audience now. I've got a live audience. Emma's Allotment Diary, complete with live audience. Birds and cats. Maybe a rat. Let's not talk about the rat. Right, there we go. What do we think? So we've sort of tied in and cut back the rosebush. And then we can actually get through this pathway again, which is just fantastic. I've got a pathway around both sides, which sort of, it was supposed to go like around the tree. Now they've cut the tree down. I don't know. It's just the design, I think. But yeah, just much, much better. You know what it needs? It needs some more woodchip. And lucky for me, there is absolutely tons of woodchip left, which is why I've not been in a huge rush to get it. It is quite sort of strenuous and time-consuming, and I don't have the time today to go and get some. But what I will start doing is preparing a lot of the pathways, ready for a new batch of woodchip to go down, just to kind of cover up all those weeds, make it look neater, top it up a little bit, because it does sort of disappear. It's a natural material, so it's not going to last very long. I think that's made a real difference. Can you tell that I'm a little bit happier today? I just feel so happy to be here. I genuinely, I'm just really enjoying myself. I don't know if it's maybe because I've come down a bit earlier, so it's just been quieter and calmer, and there's not been much building work going on and stuff. I feel like it's been very peaceful here today. I have brought a proper carrier bag with me today, because I want to harvest a couple of things, and after my other bag split in the middle of the main road and all of my tomatoes just went everywhere, I've decided to make sure to bring a plastic carrier bag. It's not the most aesthetic thing, but it definitely will hold the crops that I'm taking home, which are a couple of the round courgettes. So let's go and have a look at them. Right, here we are. I've got some round courgettes here, which look fantastic. Ow, that's a bramble. Go away bramble. Oh, look at this. Right, we'll just give it a twist. Oh, look at that. That is absolutely fantastic. That is beautiful. Right, that's going in the bag. And then in here we've got lots of tomatoes to pick. These look absolutely perfect. Just threw him across the greenhouse. Oh, don't they look great? And then I've got these beautiful bright yellow ones. Look how gorgeous these are. Look at those. Aren't they so stunning? This tomato looks almost too good to pick. I am actually going to pick it. But how just utterly perfect does that look? My goodness, look at the shine on it. The light that's hitting it. I mean, this could be in a commercial for tomatoes. I don't think you would need a commercial for tomatoes, but if they ever did, this guy would be the star. I've got to move on. What the heck is that? No, no, I'm out. Why is there a flying spider in my flipping greenhouse? What is happening? What is this? What the heck do I do? What do I do? If that had flung back into my face, I would have screamed the allotments down. Okay, sorry about that little trauma. Now my trauma is over. I actually feel like I'm getting better with stuff like that. I feel really quite proud of myself. I really didn't freak out as much as I thought I would. We've got a couple of courgettes and then lots of different coloured tomatoes. I'm taking it home in a plastic carrier bag so it doesn't spill everywhere. Hopefully I don't crush the tomatoes in there. But yeah, quite a successful little harvest for the day. Right, I have to leave the vlog there because I actually have to get going now. I hope you've enjoyed it today. We've made the plot at least 1% better, which is just exactly how I'm trying to see it now. It's 1% better than it was before I came yesterday. Anyway, I'll see you again when I see you. Thank you so much for watching. Bye.