Oz The Mentalist Performs At Rescheduled WH Correspondents' Dinner

Owes the Mentalist, if anybody is familiar with Owes the Mentalist, he is performing right now. Let's dive right in. Until next year, actually. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, folks. I have to give a shout out, honestly, three months ago to the heroic bravery of the Secret Service and law enforcement who kept us all safe, please, everybody. I felt truly blessed that day to go home and be able to kiss all my kids, and yet cursed that every single day since, everybody I meet, including now the President of the United States, goes, if you're such a good Mentalist, why didn't you see that coming? Everyone in here, your words that you broadcast and speak influence minds all around the globe, so all of you, hold up your left hand and picture a globe in your left hand. Good, good. Sir, that's going to be your other left hand. That guy, that guy is wasted right now. Secret Service, Code Yellow, God, no, I'm kidding. That was not. I just saved your life. Everyone, imagine at this moment, you spin that globe, and you stop anywhere random. Bam. Go for it. Follow me with the mic. Let's go over to somebody. Let's go to this gentleman whose body language is saying so desperately, not me, not me. Everyone thinks it's fake. I watch this on TV. I think it's fake. Sir, have we ever, right over here, have we ever spoken a word in our life? Red bow tie, aggressive play. No. What is your name? Steve. Steve? Hold up. They love you, Steve. Steve, did you just spin a globe and go to a random place? Yes. Hear me out, folks. In a few months, Steve will forget the random place, because there's no meaning. But no, listen to me, and then a year from now, you'll say, who was the guy we saw last year? I cannot have you forgetting me by next year. I'm going to be the show you talk about for years to come. So everyone, I don't want a random place. Everybody, take, give it another spin. Follow me. Everyone give another spin. I want eyes to light up. I want butterflies in your stomach. Everybody stop on one spot, and I want to see a big smile. I want to see excitement in your eyes. That guy just winked at me. I don't know why. Follow me with the mic. Right over here, this gentleman with a perfect head of hair. They're going to hold the mic. They're going to help you out. Tell us your first name. First name is David. David, stand up please. Give him a hand for helping me out. Give him a hand. David, I don't know the future. I'm not a psychic. I would have called that three months ago. I read people. Hold up your hand. Try not to react. South America, North America. Look down again. Number one place in the world. You'd love to go. Look at it again. But this man dreams big. But you haven't been there. Look at that place one more time. Look at me. Yeah. That's it. That's the smile I wanted to see. Asia, Africa, Antarctica. Too cold for you. Turn your back. So I can't see you and you can't see me. Close your eyes for me, David. Close your eyes. David, was there any hesitation in your mind? Were you on the fence? Look. The shift in the posture. The weight on the right foot. Close your eyes. My boy just changed his mind. Come on, David. He just said in his head. He goes, if I'm not paying, I'm going big. There's a passport involved. David, keep your eyes closed. Keep your eyes closed. What was the place when I said spin it? Stop right there. Where did you want to go? Tell us. Taj Mahal. What? Can I ask you a question? Yes. That's why I said you shifted your balance. Have you been there before? Never. Hmm. I'm so curious. Let me ask you a question. You never know how this works. Did you change your mind? No. Were you thinking initially of a place? And you go, I've been there. So it's too obvious. And at the last moment you change. What was the first place you thought of? Big Sur, California. Where I just visited. And then. Taj Mahal was the layup. There it is right there. What did you think of after that? I saw you chilling, relaxing. Was there another place you were thinking of? Great Wall of China. Okay. Close enough. I'll take Big Sur. Turn around. Maybe you're just drinking Fiji water. I'll take it. Did Fiji pop in your head? Fiji came at one point. I will say. Fiji did come at one point. This guy's like, I'm going to take Fiji. I'm going on an all-expense vacation. I'm doing a world tour here. I say, think of one place. That's fine. Have a seat for me. You got it. You know what? Hear me out. What happens if somebody lies in my show? Right? What happens if somebody lies in my show? And this room never lies. So there's no chance. Watch this. I need to put some skin in the game. Right now, if I lose. What happens? Nothing. I already got paid for the show. Let's come out in this crowd. Raise your hand if you have any cash on you. If you have any money on you. Raise your hand. What is this? All the cabinets broke? What's going on? Where's that super-packed money? Follow me. I'm going. You know what? I see. I see the name tag. I don't have to read mine. Acting Attorney General. Let's go over to this gentleman. Introduce yourself, please. Pardon me? Tell us your first name. You don't know my name? I know it, but it seems fake if I know, Todd. I can say it. Stand up. Give him a hand, everybody, for helping me out. Todd, just tap on the mic. Let's make sure it works. Are you a money clip or a wallet kind of guy? Don't take it out. No. Neither. It's like a little... It's more like a wallet. Okay. It was a multiple choice. That's okay. Do you know... And I always ask this question because you never know. You're going out. Cash isn't as common now. Do you know exactly how much is in there or you're not sure? I'm not sure. I like that. Right? Hashtag baller. No. I want you to count it. But hold on. Do it under the table so there's no way I could see. Under the table. And move away with the microphone. I picked the right guy. Stand up. Lie to me. Don't tell me how much money you really have. Make up a lie. Lie to me. How much you got? 130. I would have said if you're going to dream, dream big, Todd. That was dreaming big. Folks, I noticed something. I noticed patterns. And I can't explain why. And this is not a stereotype. But when I do this with men versus women, they lie differently and I don't know why that is. It's not a gender stereotype. But for some odd reason, statistical analysis, women will prefer to use a number smaller than the amount they actually have on them. I don't know why. Men like to lie by saying things are bigger. No examples. You didn't laugh at that joke, Todd. Joke was hilarious. Bingo! My acting attorney general just lied too big. Here's the question to ask yourself. Cover your eyes. How could I know something he didn't even know? Let me show you over here. I'm going to show the president. The president is still admiring the Czech crystal, I'm noticing. Those are beautiful chandeliers, sir. Open your eyes. How much you got, Todd? $85. $85, everybody! IRS conducting a forensic audit as we speak on you, sir. Do you know the gentleman standing in front of you, sitting in front of you? I met him tonight. Okay. You seemed happier than he did. That was a weird response. Tell us your name. Tom, hold out your hands flat if you don't mind, like a pancake. Take any one of those bills out for me, Todd. And I want to create a moment in this room for Todd and Tom that you will never forget. Flip the bill over for me. And I want you to remember this White House Correspondent's dinner. I will. Todd is like, I should have brought more cash. Turn to face him, please. And what I'd like you to do here is you're going to be his table. You could sit if you want, but that's okay. I want you to take, and I want you to sign it. Go ahead. And then hold it up so everyone can see the federal offense you have just committed. He just clearly lost the Senate confirmation hearings on camera. I'm teasing you, Todd. Todd, did you sign that bill? I did. I don't know why you're smiling over here, Tom. You're an accessory to the crime, sir. This is the Acting Attorney General. I want you to take that bad boy, fold it in half, please. Fold it again. And I want you to recount the moments that just happened under oath in court. Did you touch that bill, Todd? Yes. Did Tom touch the bill? Yes. Did anyone else ever touch that bill, sir? I'm sure someone else did, but not tonight. Okay. Statute of limitations. I want to make sure nobody ever wants to touch it in the future. Fold it in half. Fold it again. Sit on it. He just confirmed with his wife, and he didn't even go right or left cheek. He went dead center. That's a man who takes no chances. I'm going to ask every one of you in this room a question. Here's what I'd like you all to do right now for me. Journalists, accomplished people who like to get to the bottom of things. I want everyone to take a deep breath in, and I want everyone to give me a nice, strong exhale out. And I want you to close your eyes and visualize that sitting across from you, I have this question I'd love to ask you. I say, if you could interview, in this room I call it interview, sometimes they say have dinner, you know, break bread, ask questions. If you could interview somebody famous, but let's make it hypothetical. Dead or alive, past or present, anyone that's ever lived, it's a fascinating question. And I want you to visualize, that's the key, is not just see it in your mind, but see that person sitting across from you. Open your eyes, nod your heads if you've already done it. Nod your head. Some of you are quick on the draw. Some of you are still relatively sober, given the fact it's, I think, 3 a.m. at this moment. I lost track of time. If you haven't yet done it, crunch time, everybody. Three, two, one, done. Wake up, everyone, give me a big clap over your head if you can see your person, clear as day. Give me a big clap. All right. Follow me with the mics. We're going to go rapid fire here. Follow me with the mics. Follow me, follow me. Come on over. Give me another clap. I like the fact that this gentleman right over here, can we see him? We're going to point over, looked at me, distinctly looked at me, clapped, nodded, then shook his head. I don't even know what that means. I saw you coming. You saw me coming. Yes, I did. And you're like, what do I do? How do I avoid him, even though I'm sitting in the front row? Push my wife in front of. Push your wife. I love chivalry. He's not dead. What's your name? I'm Ed. Ed? Yes. Parents nailed it. You look like an Ed. I think that's perfect. Have we ever spoken a word in our life, ever? We have not. Stand up for me, Ed. Now, if I go head to head, toe to toe with Ed, I don't think it's good enough. It's not good enough. The more people I can do this with, the more impossible it becomes. Give me some more claps. Follow me with the mic. Follow me with the camera. Oh, follow me. Follow me. Come on over. I like, this was an incredible smile. Arms extended. She threw in a belly dance. I reward extra credits. No, Ed. Stand up. We didn't get rid of you. I love you, Ed. Let's go right over here. Tell us your first name. Michelle. Stand up. Two L's? I'm a mind reader. Come on, Michelle. Come on. Another clap. I look around. This was a moment. We had a moment right over here. If you could go to this young lady. She looked at me, and when we made eye contact, Ed, she did not nod. She did not shake her head. But rather, when we made eye contact, she closed her eyes tightly, as if to activate some sort of camouflage shield, saying to herself, if I don't see him, does he still see me? I see you. Tell us your name. Erin. Stand up for me, please. Okay. I now have one, two, three people thinking of three different people they want to have dinner with. This side's feeling no love. I can see it in your eyes. You're feeling no love. So let's keep it going. Two more people. Rapid fire. Follow me with the mics. Follow me. Give me some claps. Your joy is effervescent. Also, the pocket square for ripples. Next level, my friend. Next level. What is your name? My name's Kevin. Kevin? Yes. Stand up for me, Kevin. I never go past four. Give him a round of applause. Make some noise. But this is not just any event. This is the White House Correspondents Dinner. It's been going on over a hundred years. I'm the first mentalist. One more group. Right over here. I didn't even tell you I would do this. Give me a clap. Let me see it. Who thinks they have someone I will not get? You will be my Fiji water. Who will that be? Give me a clap. Okay. All of you with the big clap, you're too confident. I don't like it. I like the people that are on the fence. I like this young lady. Right over here. This young lady looked over. She squinted at me. She didn't clap. She just gave me an, I'm looking at you, buddy. Tell us your first name. My name is Alex. Alex. Give Alex a hand, too, as well. Alex, Kevin, Ed, Aaron, Michelle with two L's. Each of you, I ask to think of somebody famous sitting across from you and you are at the edge of your seat scintillating, asking them questions. Sit down if it's Jack Kerouac. No. Folks, don't hold the applause in. Let it out. That's so obscure. Like, you should not have gotten... Never bring a knife to a gunfight. Joke is too soon. Too soon. Have a seat for me, please. That's it. That is 100% it. I know. I can read your mind. That's what I... You don't have to keep telling me. That was it. Have a seat. Thank you. I like how Aaron just rethought her choice. She's like, mine's too easy. Mine's too easy. There's no way he would know. Kevin, you are a ball of positive energy. Just looking at you has uplifted my mood without caffeine. I can tell you for a 100% fact, I'm not even going to hedge, not 99, not 100% live TV, your person is alive and well. Am I correct? You are correct. How did I know that? Your vitality, your energy, versus if we could point the camera at Ed, Gerard, Ed is over here. That's that guy. Ed has dead guy vibes written all over him. Come on, man. I'm feeling pretty good. Is it a dead guy, Ed? Vital. Is it a dead guy? It is. Yeah. Classic Ed. That's hilarious. Yes. Dead guy. Why are you on the fence? No, he's definitely a dead guy. You weren't sure if he was dead or alive? No, I'm saying I'm vital. I'm just saying he's dead. Oh, yeah. It's nothing about you. You're going to live to 120, baby. I'm talking about the person you're thinking of. Yeah. You know what? Arms behind the back. This guy's very proper. He's done a lot of World War II biographies. Sit down if it's Winston Churchill. You're right. Folks, I'm getting 6% applause on things that deserve 120. Have a seat, Ed. Have a seat. Bless you. I knew you would sneeze right then. Aaron, playful hair adjustment. Always a guy. It's always a guy. The hair adjustment twice, it's a guy. Am I right? It's a man. I could tell. It's a man. It wasn't playful hair, but it was just an adjustment. Okay. There's no implications here. I like how Tom just told Todd. He's like, why don't you bring more money, bro? Why don't you bring more money? I did this last week. I filmed my Netflix special. And I did this in the last person standing thought of a movie star. And when I got it right, he did not sit down. And the tension grew in the room. And I said, sir, did I get it? He goes, yeah. And I go, okay. And he goes, oh, yeah? What movie am I thinking of? I'm like, buddy, there's no on-demand feature. It's always, I wonder what movie she's thinking of, of his, but I'm going to go with it. Do you know what question you're going to ask him right off the jump? Or is it more just a flowing conversation? Flowing. Just flowing. Flowing. I love that. And you're debating. And I was thinking like, I think he's passed away. Am I correct? Correct. It seems somber. Yeah. Not somber, but passed away. Okay. I don't know which movie. Tell us all, who are you sitting down to dinner with? Who's across from you during this scintillating interview? Jerry Garcia. Are you wrong? Don't ever doubt me again. Don't you ever! The guy next to her dropped an F-bomb. We're not on the hot mic. We're okay. We are okay. Michelle, with two L's. Kevin, with the tremendous smile. We have an issue right now. We have a problem. You don't realize it. But the issue is that, so far tonight, I'm on fire. No! Don't you smile, Kevin! It's a bad thing. I set the bar too high too soon. Which means that right now, I can no longer guess who you're each thinking of. Because you will say to me later, what do you think that guy owes? And you're like, he's pretty good, but then he did it four or five times, he plateaued. Kevin, I don't plateau. I peak. So I'm going to hand each of you. We're going to hand you each a poster board and a marker. If we can grab... Come on, I need you. We're going to hand you each one. Don't open the markers yet. The markers, just because people try to unscrew them, they just pop. Don't do that, Kevin. Don't do that. Hand each person one. And each of you, very important, don't open the marker. Hold them close to you. Hold them sideways. Landscape is good. Okay. Landscape. A little twist there, Kevin. There you go. Thank you so much. Beautiful. Freeze. I'm not going to guess who you're each thinking of. I'm going to do something exponentially crazier. You're going to talk about this for years. This Frisbee I purchased for 82 cents, Amazon Prime, free same-day shipping. This Frisbee has a 1.5-star review. This is literally the worst Frisbee in the world. I could have my friend Tom Brady right here trying to throw it to you. It would not land. It does not fly true. Let's see. Who could we get? The president? Yes. Will you just throw it for us? Is that okay? I don't know if I can aim it. Secret service, is this okay? They just went code red, mentalist, no. I can't throw this. We'll see what we can do. I don't know if I can aim this thing, president. Okay. You know what? I have a better idea. Throw the hat out in the crowd. Let's go. Someone catch. Or nobody catch. Glassware down. This guy just became his VP running mate in 2028. Hear me out. Are you okay? If you'd like, this is entirely your choice. You can help me. But the Frisbee goes further than the hat. So it adds elements of excitement and randomness versus the hat had about three people to land because it appears I've made half the room disappear. Would you like to keep it or would you like to throw it onwards and make this even more random? Actually, I would love to keep it. Would you like to join me on stage and be my mind reading protege? Why not? Round of applause, everybody. I'm going to stand right here. We're going to bring you a microphone. Tell us all your name. My name is Diane Williams. Diane Williams. Have you and I ever spoken a word in our life? No, never. Diane Williams, go ahead and read their minds. How crazy would that have been? Are you kidding me right now? Diane Williams, we need to get into the zone, okay? No, no, no, no. Not really yoga style. I want you to give me your best mind reading pose. Bring the hands up here. That's pretty good. That's more, okay, that's more sunny out. Let's hit them. Yeah, there we go, there we go. Diane Williams, here's what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to assist you. Look at me. I'm going to have you picture a crystal ball in my hands. There is not really a crystal ball. You are going to look down into my hands and I want you to look through that crystal ball down into my hands and I want you to nod your head if you are seeing clear as day. Two people or pretending. Can you see them? Is that a yes? You're really playing this up. And keep your eyes closed. Oh, okay. And I want you to repeat over and over in your head who you just saw. Over and over in your head. Do you see two people? Can you see those two people? Close your eyes, Diane Williams. Close your eyes. Kevin, Michelle, uncap your marker. Keep your eyes closed, Diane Williams. I want you to write down your person's first and last name or their name as big as you can. As big as you can, please. Maximize the space on there. The person you picked, write their name as big as you can. Are you done, Michelle? Yes. Take your time, Kevin. I'm getting bored of my own show. Kevin, you're done. Done. Diane, wake up. Come back to the light. Now, I'm going to give you one clue. Okay. Which is that we are able to ascertain that his person is alive. We said that earlier. Okay. So I want you not just to look into that beautiful smile but look into his eyes. See the reflection across from him and tell him who is the person he is sitting down to dinner with. The person is alive. Who is it? Michael Jordan. Folks, are you alive in this room right now? That was a 3 out of 10 on something that should have been a 12 out of 10. So no, no, I'm not looking for pity. If lightning strikes twice here at the Waldorf Astoria and Diane Williams nails this, there better not be one butt still in a seat unless you are mobility impaired, in which case I want to see a miracle. So you don't look into Michelle's eyes, you look into her soul and you tell this woman. Okay. What's that? I just saw one name. Okay, well, that's his name. Okay. What would we do? What if we put on your mind-reading face? Okay. Diane Williams, get back in the zone. Look at me. Stare me in the eyes. Her eye contact is very intense, folks. I hold this crystal ball up. We look through it. We see this beautiful Czech glass. Down, we look down. We look down and we look down and we see a face and we say to ourselves, who do we see? You're pretending even though God knows this is not going to work, so I'm hoping for the best. Okay. I don't think it's going to work, but who knows? Are you staring at Michelle? Are you looking into her eyes? Look deeper. Look into her soul and give it your best shot. Diane Williams, who is she having dinner with? Could it be JFK? Turn it around. Folks, I'm bringing Diane on the road with me for the record. She's keeping the hat. Really quick, let's see at this juncture in the evening if anybody still has battery life. Grab out your phone. Go to your calculator. I just watched this man clear his day, clear his browser history. Please, go to your calculator. If there's a number, I don't want it. Get rid of it. Clear that number out. And I want to see nice, beautiful zeros out there. Do we have zeros? Hold them up, hold them up, hold them up. Let me see what we got. Okay. I need to see energy. I feed off of it. Who wants in? Who wants in right now? Who wants in? Who seems excited? One guy just looked at me and started flexing. I don't know why. Okay. Battery life, still in the green. You're doing pretty well there, sir. What is your name? Josh. Josh? Traditional spelling? Do you want to join me? Let's get him up here. Let's hear it for Josh, everybody. Josh, come on up. Come on up, partner. Let's bring you up. Josh, here's what I want you to do. I need to get somebody else in the mix. I want you to do two things. We're going to fact check this. You're going to be typing this in. One more partner in crime. Pick somebody out there for me to help me out. Who's it going to be? Dina. At your own table. Okay. So, I like the nepotism here. He's like, let's just stick with my own table. Dina, do you have your phone as well? I do. Yeah. Stand up. Dina has no cover. Just living dangerous over there. This trick is about to be called Apple Care. Dina, should we swap? Josh, come with me. Dina, I'm going to bring you in as well. Dina, since I didn't get to throw a Frisbee, are you calculator open? Yes. Please open it up. What do we have? Is this an amortization calculator? She's doing my mortgage calculations is what I'm seeing. Okay. I'm sorry. It's okay. I don't know what this one is. I can't do... This is like the buttons are too small. I can't see anything. I'm so sorry. I got to use someone else because I can't see. Put the brightness up. Grab yours. This one's big even though you're at 7% battery. I love it. Dina, give us a number and we're going to go on stage. Come with me, Josh. Give us a number and I want you to do this. I want you to give us a birthday. Come with me. You know what? Join me. We'll bring you up. Josh, you're going to be on deck. Josh, sit down. This gentleman, come with me. I need you. Yeah. How are you? He keeps getting texts from his table saying he's going to get you good. Who is writing that? I'm going to bring you a microphone. I'd like you to stand here. Dina and Josh, you each get to help me. Dina, tell me the birthday of somebody you care about deeply. So take a moment with it. Tell us the birthday of someone you care about deeply. Go ahead. August 17th. Pause. Whose birthday is that? My husband. Everyone go, aw. Good choice. I don't want to touch anything. Put in 817, please. Eight. Slow. 817. Freeze right there. Okay. Have a seat. Thank you, Dina. In honor of Dina picking her spouse, which is a common choice, raise your hand if you are married as well. Okay, most of the room. Most of the room. I need to know why that woman just did this. Did anyone see that? That was a very strange reaction to a relatively binary question. That was a real-time Facebook status. It's complicated. Dina loved that joke. Let's go over to someone new that has not helped me yet. How about right over here? I'm going to go to the gentleman right next to Steve who I loved earlier. We thought of Bora Bora. That was too obvious, Steve. Make it tough next time. Let's go to that gentleman in the green who felt so slighted. What is your name? Arden. Arden? Arden. That's correct. Arden, quick, what's your wedding anniversary? May 26th. What was it? May 26th. Do times, times, 526, but don't do equal yet. I'm doing the math. August 17th times May 26th. Kidding. I don't know. Michelle thought I could do anything after John Fitzgerald Kennedy. You get to instill a little bit of yourself in this. Do you have a lucky number or something special to you? You do? One digit or two digits? One digit? Bring it close to the heart. That's your heart, yeah. We're not there yet. And I want you to hit plus and hold it close to you and put in your lucky number. And then walk out into this crowd to somebody that you do not know. Is that possible? You seem a social butterfly. And I want to lock eyes. Look at me, sir. 500 times 1,000 is 500 G's. I'm a capitalist. I want two commas. I want a third comma. I want millions. What's your name? Colin. It's Colin. Colin. One L or two? One. All right. Michelle's not happy. Some of you, your memory is not as good. You don't know why that callback was funny. That's okay. Colin, three-digit number, three-digit number between 100 and 500. Don't do 1, 2, 3. You're better than that, Colin. You're better than that. You got a number? I didn't like it. Change. Okay. There it is. Whisper with no microphone into his ear your three-digit number. Everybody, make ambient ocean noises. Did you hear what he said? We're going to get the microphone right there. Right there. Have a seat for me. Colin, please type in, to this gentleman, please type in a times and put in Colin's three digits. You did it. Colin, have a seat. Wonderful. Did you hit equals? Not yet. Please. All right. It's got to be over 30 mil. It's got to be over 30 million. Is it over 30 million? It is. Okay. I thought that was lightly impressive, but no. No, it's okay. I don't need the pity applause. Thank you, though, Bobby. Thank you. I'm ready. I'm ready for you. Oh, yeah. I'm not Rain Man. What did we get? That's the calculator. Read the number. Yeah. All right. 53 million. Hold up. 53 million. 670,000. 600. I didn't leave enough room. Okay. I'm going to go. I'm going to wrap around. 53 million, 670,000. 682. $682. Bam. Have a seat. Give him a big round of applause. All my helpers. Dina, Josh, way to fact check. I appreciate you. Did you hear me say dollars? Yes. Imagine that you go to your ATM, that you swipe your card, that you type in your pin code, or if I'm there, I do it for you. And suddenly, in your checking account balance, 53 million, 670,000, $682. How would you react? Let me see some faces. Okay. I like how some of you didn't hear the key word, checking account. This is not an interest-bearing account. I like how one guy swore on his back, like, tariffs. Folks, you should deploy this capital. Like, my man right over here, Todd Blanche, looked at me like that was low. Tom, what did he sign, Tom? Was it a 20, a 50, or a 100? We couldn't see. Tom is the guy next to him. What was it? A 20. It was a 20? Todd, are you still sitting on it? Yes. Todd, reach into the abyss. Stand up for me, please, sir. Todd, check the signature. Is this your bill that you took out of your pseudo money clip? Yes. You marked it, but so did the government of the greatest country on earth with an eight-digit serial number. Read us those digits one at a time, please. Switch to me. Switch to me, please. Switch to me one digit at a time, please. 5-3-6-7-0-6-8-2. I'm Alex Perlman. Truly, this has been the honor of a lifetime. Thank you very much, everybody.