If you let go of THESE things at 40, you're ahead of 90% of people

If you want to get ahead of 90% of people in your forties, here are seven things you should let go of for a happier, healthier, and wealthier midlife and beyond. Starting with number one on this list, which is you need to let go of your ego. And don't take my word for this because it was Carl Jung, one of the most famous psychologists of all time who said the first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego. The second half is going inward and letting go of it. And I think there's a lot of truth to that statement. When we're young, we spend so much time trying to build an identity. We want to be successful, respected, liked, and important. And some of us spend decades chasing titles, accomplishments, and possessions to show who we are and that we've quote unquote made it. But in midlife, many people realize that they've become trapped by the very identities that they worked so hard to create. They stay in jobs they hate because it's tied to who they are. They refuse to change their mind or lifestyle, even when they know it's wrong or unhealthy. And they cling to traditions, habits, and beliefs that no longer serve them. When I hit 40, I struggled with this a lot myself because not long after we bought our dream home and settled into a new life in Europe, my husband lost his job. The schools in our neighborhood went downhill and we realized we were going to have to pack up and move back to the USA, which at the time made me feel like a huge failure. And like I was falling behind in life, having to start over again at age 40. But then what that experience made me realize is there's no one single path to happiness, fulfillment, and success. And one of the greatest freedoms in life is realizing that you don't have to keep being the person you were 10 years ago, five years ago, or even yesterday. And you can change your mind, your priorities and hit the reset button on your life whenever you want. And the sooner we are willing to let go of our ego and identities that no longer serve us, the easier and better life will become. And speaking of which, the second thing to let go of on this list is what psychologists and philosophers call memetic desires, at least the ones that are unhealthy or unwanted. And if you haven't heard of memetic desires before, don't worry, because this is something that I also just learned about recently back in January of this year, when I read a book called wanting as part of my no buy challenge. And the basic principle behind this theory is that human beings learn what to want and desire based on observing the wants and desires of other people, AKA models. So in other words, many of our desires aren't actually our own. They're borrowed when we see someone with a certain house, car, body, lifestyle, vacation, wardrobe, relationship, or career. And suddenly when we see those people having those things, we find ourselves wanting them too. And reading about memetic desires was actually a huge aha moment for me because it explained why a frugal minimalist like me can feel so tempted to want to buy things that they see on social media. Even when I don't like or care about those things at all. Case in point, right. As I was reading that book, I came across this Tik TOK reel and was almost influenced to buy a certain brand of perfume, even as a minimalist of 10 years who never buys or wears perfume. So I want you to watch this video with me and see if you also feel the pressure of memetic desire, Chloe Kardashian. Hi, I need you to know something immediately. I smelled a woman in public the other day, and I literally followed her through a store, stopped her and asked her what she was wearing. No shame, full commitment. She tells me it's your perfume. I get in my car. I drive directly to Ulta. I buy it immediately. And I just need to ask you, what did you put in this? I am a bougie perfume girl. I love a rich scent. I love a warm scent. I love a clean but expensive moment. I love a, this woman probably has her life together and drink sparkling water kind of scent. I feel like if someone hugged me while wearing this, I would trust them with my children. I consider myself a borderline perfume connoisseur. And this is the cleanest, warmest, richest scent I have ever smelled in my entire life. Like I genuinely believe this is my forever scent. I'm going to be wearing this until I die. Okay. I think we can stop it there. But did you get the point? Within 30 seconds of watching this woman's video, I found myself thinking, huh, maybe I need that thing. And that's exactly how mimetic desire works. And thanks to social media, we're not just trying to keep up with the Joneses anymore, but also influencers and celebrities like the Kardashians, which makes it even more ironic that the title of their show was keeping up with the Kardashians. But no matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to keep up with these kinds of people, which is why one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself in midlife is do I actually want this or do I just want it because someone else does. And that's why mastering your mimetic desires might be one of the best and most freeing things you can ever do. The third thing to let go of is chronic oversharing and overexplaining. And if you're anything like me, you might not even realize that you're doing this. For years, I thought being a good person meant explaining myself and sharing things that would help other people understand me. I had trouble setting boundaries, saying no to people and treated every decision like it needed a backstory because I was afraid of being misunderstood. But what I've learned in my forties is that every decision doesn't require a justification and no is a complete sentence because often when we overshare and over explain ourselves, what we're looking for isn't understanding it's approval and acceptance. The truth is some people will misunderstand or choose not to accept you no matter how clearly you explain yourself. And not everyone deserves to have access to your thoughts and personal life. And I know this might sound funny coming from a YouTuber with over 400,000 subscribers, but it's exactly because of my job that I've become even more aware of how important it is to protect your privacy and peace because these days, it's not just friends, family, and coworkers who have access to our information, which brings me to the sponsor of today's video. Delete me. I've been using delete me for years now. 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I think the older you get, the more in tune with your feelings and your instincts you become. And you start to notice how you avoid phone calls or alarm bells ring quietly in your mind. When it comes to certain people, maybe it's the friend who only reaches out when they need something, the family member that criticizes every decision you make, or the person who leaves you feeling drained every time you spend time with them. And one of the biggest lessons of midlife is accepting that not every relationship was meant to last forever. There's a saying that goes, the grass is greener where you water it. But while this rule applies to certain things, when it comes to toxic or one sided relationships, it doesn't matter how much care you pour into them, because that relationship will always be like an endless thirsty desert that will drain you dry if you let it. And I'm not saying that every instance of conflict in your life is toxic or unhealthy because every relationship is bound to go through some ups and downs. But if someone has repeatedly shown you that they're not to be trusted and they have a history of gaslighting you or not being there when you need them, it doesn't matter if you've had that relationship for six months or six years, because the amount of time you've invested in something or someone, is not a reason to keep investing forever. So if there's a relationship in your life that's been weighing on you heavily for months, years, or even decades, give yourself permission to let it go. The fifth thing to let go of is living above your means because the math changes after you turn 40. When you're in your twenties, you have decades to recover from financial mistakes, but at age 40, 50 and beyond, time becomes a much more valuable resource. Every unnecessary impulse purchase or debt you slap on a credit card today is money that could have been invested, saved, or used to buy yourself more freedom in the future because your future self isn't some far off distant stranger anymore. It's you. And that future is a lot closer than you think. So if you spent too much time YOLOing and impulse buying yourself into debt in your twenties and thirties, consider this a sign that it's time to let go of the bad financial habit that got you to where you are now. A good place to start is by doing things like tracking your daily spending, doing no buy challenges, or taking a good hard look at your bank account to see where your money drains are coming from. Because often it's the boring and unsexy habits that are going to get you the furthest financially. And this is something that I actually talked about recently in this video on the 15 unsexy habits that helped me save serious money. So I will be sure to link that above and down in the description box below for you, as well as some other money saving tip videos in case you're interested in checking those out. Oh, and also be sure to hit the subscribe button and turn on all notifications for this channel if you haven't already, because every single week I share the best tips and ideas to help you simplify your way to a happier, richer, and better life. And I would absolutely love to have you join me here each week. That brings us to the sixth thing to let go of, which is old and lingering regrets. Regrets come in many flavors, as you might call them. There are regrets about things that we said, regret about things that we did or didn't do, regrets about opportunities that we missed and regrets about not having the courage to stand up for our beliefs. And regret is so much more common than we realize with studies finding that up to 90% of adults experience deep or existential regrets. One type of regret that I struggle with has always been difficult to put into words until I stumbled upon an untranslatable emotion called Yi Han during my studies into Chinese language and culture. Yi Han is a word that expresses a deep and profound blend of regret, sorrow, and pity over something beautiful that never had the chance to happen. And the closest English translation would be to call that a regret over a missed destiny. And not only did that word resonate with me, but the moment that I heard it, it immediately called to mind this famous story about Ernest Hemingway, who, according to legend, once won a $10 bet by writing the saddest short story in history in just six words. And what he wrote was for sale, baby shoes never worn. Oh my gosh. Can you feel it? Can you feel the Yi Han hitting hard? It's just six simple words. And yet you can feel an entire lifetime of heartbreak there. And as for me, after losing my mom when I was nine years old and losing my father and my childhood home in my early twenties, I always found that those nevers were the hardest kind of regret for me to let go of. I never got to find out how my parents met, never got to go prom dress shopping with my mom, never had the chance to call her from my college dorm room to gossip or tell her that I missed her. Like all my friends got to do with their moms. But what I've slowly learned over the years is that holding onto regrets won't change the past. It only steals the joy from your present, no matter what kind of regret you're struggling with. As you enter your forties, let go of those regrets that you've been carrying up until now. And make room for the memories, experiences and opportunities that still lie ahead. And finally, that brings us to number seven on this list, which is that you need to let go of clutter that's weighing you down. Did you know that studies have found that over 90% of people struggle with clutter and roughly 50% of adults report having at least one room in their home, they consider unsalvageable due to the amount of stuff that's accumulated inside of it. But also please keep in mind that clutter comes in many forms. And when I say clutter, I'm not just talking about the stuff that's piled up on your floor. It's not just an excess of material possessions that can weigh us down and hold us back in life. It can also be habits, traditions, beliefs, and expectations that were passed down to us sometimes without us even realizing it. For example, I've talked many times on my channel about my father who passed away when I was in my early twenties and how he loved writing Harley Davidson. He was a tattooed Harley Davidson writing tough guy. And because of his influence, my sister ended up with not only a ton of tattoos, but also dreamed of buying a Harley Davidson for years because she used to love riding with our father. And she wanted to make that purchase as a way to feel closer to him. But as I also discovered along my hoarder to minimalist journey, sometimes when you buy things, trying to get back a piece of the past, what you find is that the magic wasn't in the things themselves, but rather in the people and the times and the experiences. And unfortunately for my sister, after writing that Harley Davidson a handful of times and taking a nasty fall on it, and mostly now just sits in her garage, taking up space and making her feel guilty. And I think this brings us full circle back to some of the things that we talked about earlier in this video, such as ego and mimetic desire and something called sunk cost fallacy, which is a psychological belief that because we've already invested so much time, money, energy, or emotion into a thing, we have to continue investing into it. This reminds me of a story that I recently read about regarding wildfire firefighters and how that in some deadly wildfire situations, firefighters were reluctant to let go of their heavy equipment and tools. Even when those tools were slowing them down as they tried to escape the flames and even firefighters who have been instructed and trained to drop their heavy equipment and run in life-threatening situations still sometimes failed to do so ultimately resulting in their death, which might sound crazy to you. And I, as we sit here until you realize that a lot of us are doing the exact same thing in our own homes and lives. We cling to possessions, relationships, habits, beliefs, and identities that no longer serve us and weigh us down often because we've been carrying them for so long that letting go feels wrong and uncomfortable. But sometimes the thing that saves you isn't holding on tighter. It's finding the courage inside of yourself to finally let go. And I think that's one of the reasons why letting go is one of the most important life skills you can ever master. This is something that I actually touched on in my latest video about my 10 year decluttering and minimalism journey and how getting rid of over 90% of my belongings completely transformed every inch of my home and life. And I will be sure to link to that video over here in case you're interested in finding out more and hearing my best tips for decluttering and simplifying. And don't forget to go to delete me.com and use the code A to Zen to get 20% off and start protecting your online privacy today.