Develop Confidence In Your True Nature

At some point you can face any emotion, stare it straight in the face, lovingly, not like I'm more confident than you. No, just lovingly stare it in the face and not flinch, not waver, because you know, you've got confidence, conviction has dawned, that your nature is unaffectable. I have not realized that I have been carrying this for a very long time and it manifests the unworthiness, but I was not aware that it is unworthiness and it is coming up when I need to speak like this with you. So there were many moments today when I wanted to speak up because it was important for me and then my system gets activated, like heart rate, but until now I have never connected it to this unworthiness. So this is a big realization for me right now and it feels extremely like, you said flare up, it feels like a flare up, but I cannot let it go because through this coming back to awareness I noticed it has eroded a lot, so I can move with it even when it comes up, like fear or heart rate or something like that, because what we are doing here is more important than this fear and each time I do that it dissolves a little bit, but you said probably I'm still carrying something, a belief that I'm not able to see or let go because it flare up, yeah. Exactly, so that's good, it's just information for you. It's like, hey, it can still flare up which means there's a subtle remnant left and that makes total sense because these things are subtle and we're conditioned with them for a very long time in a variety of ways and our society reinforces those ideas all the time, so it makes sense that you, it's like dissolving those kinds of thematic patterns or those stumbling blocks or those challenging emotions, it kind of goes in a spiral, it does go upwards, but you return to the same theme every once in a while and you're like, oh, I thought I had dissolved this or I thought that I had understood this fully and forgiven it and relaxed it back into its unified space, but it comes up again and it grabs you and it contracts you, it's just a subtler level of the same area, it's the same area of the building, you know, these areas and you spiral upwards, so it's the same area of the building, it's the same sort of theme, the same belief, but at a subtler level, you're just noticing a subtler assumption, subtler belief and this literally is the process of making the unconscious mind conscious and the fastest way to do that is by continuing to be aware of awareness, that is by far the fastest way to quote-unquote expand, raise, purify awareness and in response to that, you will then at an accelerated pace notice these little beliefs, but when you develop momentum in knowing yourself to not be really affected anymore, like you were saying, you have enough confidence in your freedom and non-attachment to things that when there's heartbreak or something, you can move with it, right, you said something along those lines, well, it's not that I'm not affected, I'm very much affected, like you said, you have the flexibility that you can move with it, I think this what we are talking here is much more important, like to take this chance, than the fear itself, but the fear is very much active, so there's something in you that's confident enough to choose what you know is more important, even in moments where you feel like the fear is very convincing. Yes, because I feel I'm choosing freedom each time I do that. Great, but you can only do that if you've only had prior experience, confirmation and confidence, this is all a confidence game, this is about developing confidence in the indestructibility of you always and already, so that at some point you can face any emotion, stare it straight in the face, lovingly, not like I'm more confident than you, no, just lovingly stare it in the face and not flinch, not waver, because you know, you've got confidence, conviction has dawned, that your nature is unaffectable, like the mountain, the mountain is not impressed with the little humans and their thoughts and their walkabouts, even their spiritual circling around the mountain, like whoa, how do you, it's also not impressed by that, right, it's stable, it's as it is, it's clear, it's timeless, and so your awareness is like that all the time, this aware basis within which unworthiness arises, insecurity arises, triggers arise, it's completely unaffected, you can test this for yourself right now, you can, it's always proven, your awareness, how many emotions have you gone through in your lifetime, what like at least hundreds of thousands, probably tens of millions, if not more, right, so are you not still here, where are the scars, show me the scars in your awareness, show me the scars in I am, show me how you've been less able to exist because of them, show me how you are less aware, less alive, less existent because of these millions of emotions, so you see, you have the proof you need, U Y O U is unaffected at all times, and you have all the proof you need, because again, look at all the experiences you've already had, even if you're just limited to this lifetime, if that's what you're familiar with, that's great, it's enough proof, even in a single human lifetime, to see that no matter what happens, leaves no trace, in awareness, it feels like it leaves a scar, when you conflate awareness and some concept of self, when you go like this, when the water takes on the shape of the teapot, and then the teapot gets all crinkled up or distorted, then yes, it seems to distort the water or the tea in the cup, but that's because of that identification, that's because of that mistaken identity, conflation, take two things, you conflate this thing with this thing, but they're not two, they're not the same thing, they're two separate things, awareness continues independent of perceptions, independent of everything you've ever known, will ever know, it all passes through, like birds through the sky, emotions are like rainbows, they don't even really exist, and they leave no trace. So the fact that this is, I'm noticing that I'm giving much less attention to this, and this helps, but the fact that it is coming up, it does not mean that I'm actively hiding, it is maybe programmed like in my physiology, and it just gets activated in a certain setting, and that's fine, right? Totally fine, yeah. One of the results of knowing this is that there is no problem, there's no right or wrong anymore, there's natural wisdom to do the right thing, but in terms of judgment, there's no right or wrong.