Dodgers Make The Phillies Look Stupid Again

Yeah, stick your dick in the beehive again. See what happens. That's that's the Phillies mindset against the Dodgers apparently. Like, I don't know, we should do more dumb stuff. Maybe it'll work this time. So they actually beat them the first game this week. Trey Turner decided to have his best game of years. This first game was literally home run derby 2.0. This is ridiculous. Philly didn't get enough of the actual home run derby. So let's do it again. All right, fine. Seven homers were hit in this game. Four of them by short stops. Turner hit two. Mookie hit two. Bryce Harper hit one. And then the two went and did an OnlyFans collab. Harper went on Mookie's podcast. And I think what this did was rub off on Harper. Like, I think Mookie cast some Dr. Strange level spell on Harper and anyone he comes across. So, like, the rest of the Phillies, the way they played the next two nights, even though it was setting up perfectly for them. Like, the Phillies had two of the best pitchers in baseball going this series. Like, not just on their team, in all of baseball. Christopher Sanchez in game one. Zach Wheeler in game two. While the Dodgers had their white boy placeholders going. No Shohei. No Yamamoto. No Sasaki. None of the anime characters. No, no, no. They had Emmett Sheehan pitching game one. He was not good. And after the game, the manager, Dave Roberts, basically said, like, yeah, this guy sucks. But until we got someone better, we're gonna keep having to throw his sorry ass out there. No, it wasn't that harsh. But, like, the Dodgers, they could do this. They can afford to basically have these punt games. They can have multiple a week and still win their division by 17 games. And it's been this way for, like, 10 years. The regular season for the Dodgers, it's just about chilling and taking it easy enough until October comes around. They can just keep Snell and Glasnow frozen in carbonite until the playoff. No need to have their arms blow out. Literally just have Snell occupied on Twitch or something, and Glasnow starring some summer blockbuster. And in the meantime, have guys like Emmett Sheehan or Eric Lauer get you by. Since you, I mean, you already clinched the division in May. Like, it's not that deep. One of the white boy placeholders has been a hell of a lot more than just a placeholder, though. Timu Timothee Chalamet. Bro's a damn all-star. First off, he struck out five guys in the all-star game. God, his ---- rocked by Miguel Vargas, too. But forget that. Overall, he was great. That was the last time he pitched. It was in Philly. And here he is again in Philly, dominating again. He gave up a run immediately, like in the first inning, but then locked in the rest of the game. The closest the Phillies came to scoring after that off of Timothee Chalamet was when Edmundo Sosa hit a 450-foot bomb. I mean, this thing was headed out of the stadium until it landed in front of the warning track for an out. Why does Sosa think he's Manny Ramirez? Like, I've pointed this out before. He loosens up his batting gloves when he hits a ball like he's Manny. And I don't watch the Phillies or Edmundo Sosa's at-bats enough to know how often he does this. But it's got to be at least a decent amount because, like, I barely see him hitting. I've already seen him do it multiple times. Like, yeah, it's a cool thing to do, but the aura points go into the negatives when it's not a home run. I mean, come on. Max Muncy can do that. I think he's earned the right to pimp his homers like that. He's hit enough to unlock that Fortnite emote. This one he didn't pimp though because it wasn't a no-doubter off the bat. He hit it to dead center. But it was gone. Through the raindrops, into the trees. And this was it. This is all the scoring the Dodgers did all game. And that one run looked like the only thing the Phillies were going to do until the night. So BBL Tanner Scott's in the game. He started getting hit hard. Boom. Base hit. Then Riomuto smacks one. They were really bullying Alex Call in left field. They kept aiming for him. So it's second and third. Only one out. The ******* homeless guy, Brandon Marsh. He comes up. He was one of the 14 home runs in the first game. So he's looking to do something crazy again. And watch this ----. Okay, so Marsh tries to keep the bullying on Call going. He aims for left field but doesn't hit it well enough. So it's a ground ball right to Muncie at third. And Justin Crawford, the runner at third, is cooked. He's dead. So all he can do is just, you know, what you're looking at. A little back and forth to delay the inevitable. Meanwhile, while this is happening, Riomuto, who was at second, goes to third. And then starts running back to second base. What the **** is he doing? I was watching this live and was so confused. I was like, did I miss something? Like, first off, why run back to second at all? You're already at third. Just stay there. Crawford is cooked. But at the very least, you're on third now. And the Phillies still have a chance. Like, why run back? And he picked the worst possible time to do it too. Like, literally as Crawford was getting tagged. He's like, oh, I know the perfect time to start running back. All the way to the base that's furthest away. Like, what is happening? Might as well run all the way back to first while you're at it. So he's thrown out. I actually, this is probably something I shouldn't be publicly saying. But it's time to reveal the truth. I have superpowers. I have x-ray vision. And this is what JT Riomuto's brain looked like in this moment. Pretty, pretty wild stuff. Well, game three was the other white boy placeholder. Matt Lauer or Eric Lauer. So kind of another punt game for the Dodgers. Like, I'm telling you, it's hilarious. The Dodgers, they're so good. They could just have half of the rotation in the regular season. Basically be a science experiment. Emmitt Sheehan, Eric Lauer, even Rokey. Like, these guys are all, let's see what happens pitchers. And they still win most of their games. So it's two nothing Phillies. But not if Chinese Don Rushing had anything to say about it. Bro said, ni hao, ************. Bang. Telling the pitcher to go home and drink some Surfside. He doesn't belong. This guy's throwing it back. And Nola, the pitcher, he didn't listen to Rushing. Telling him to just drink Surfside and leave the game. He was like, no bitch, I'm staying on the mound. Yeah, famous last words. This time, two guys were on base for Rushing. Couple innings later, he whacks this down the line. Drives home Teosca Hernandez and Tommy Titties for two runs. Dodgers on top. Well, the Phillies immediately tied it right back. Ryan De La Cruz, his first homer of the year. Oh man, I think that went off his glove. I think he was actually, I think he was like about to get it, but then realized it was about to be the man's first homer of the year. So he was like, all right, I'll just let him have it. I mean, look how happy he was. So hats off to Pajes for letting him have that moment. And I think the Dodgers wanted to actually really start helping the Phillies out. Watch this. Next pitch, Bryson Stott doubles. Bangs this off the wall. So, okay. And now the Phillies goal was to move him over to third base. And the next hitter up, Marshawn has like one hit all year. So he's the perfect guy to bunt. So he does bunt and he can't even do that right. It's a bad one. Pops it straight up in the air, rushing, runs over, gets it. And look, so Stott at second, I guess he like came off the base for a second when this ball was in the air. So here's no nice, polite guy, Dalton rushing, making sure Stott doesn't make a mistake and get thrown out. He's looking out for the dude. He's like, get back, get back. He's helping him. He's giving out solid advice. But just like Nola didn't listen to rushing, Stott doesn't either. 13 pitches later, this is a long ass at bat for Turner. It's like an hour long at bat. But after it was done, the 13th pitch, he hits it right to Muncie at third. And what is Stott doing? At this point, they got to be doing this on purpose. I mean, it got to the point, even the Dodgers broadcast seemed upset at how dumb the Phillies base running was. They ******* roasted their asses. What are these guys doing? No clue. They pop up the bunt. They run into an out. They run into a double play last night. That's Little League stuff. It's really bad. I mean, to be fair, again, we really could have seen this coming the way last year ended when the Dodgers were constantly begging the Phillies to beat them and it never happened. But if anything, I guess that makes it more shocking since they have very clear evidence, like firsthand evidence that being dumb doesn't work. At least not for you. And they keep doing it. At this point, anytime a baseball is hit to Muncie at third, if you're the Phillies, just stop right in your tracks. Don't move. Just don't do anything. It's not going to end well for you. And yeah, that's how this game ended up. Within three pitches, the next inning, the Dodgers were up again. Freddie doubles, and then Muncie first pitch the other way. Bang. His 20th home run of the season. It moves him second all time in Dodger home runs. They're going to need to build a statue for this man at some point. I mean, he'll definitely at least be in the Dodger Hall of Fame, but it's amazing how elite he continues to be every year. Like the elite humans who watch these videos. And if you haven't joined the movement yet, you still have a chance. Unlike the Phillies did in this game after that Muncie homer, Dodgers started putting some belt to ass. They were like, we've had enough helping the Phillies out. It became, you know, it was like helping a meth addict become clean and they keep relapsing. Like, all right, have all the meth you want, bitch. At this point, first, Andy Paz was stealing bases. He stole second. Then third was called out at third. But he was like, no, no, no, you're mistaken. The Phillies get thrown out at third. Not us. Look at Boehm. He knows it. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the umpires were like, oh, okay, okay. My bad. So they reversed it. He was safe. And time to bring on Orion, Orion, Orion, or Orion. I don't know. Kirkering and all the PTSD that comes with him. And yeah, he was shitting himself. He walks Mookie on four pitches. Kyle Tucker took it easy. They all were kind of taking it easy on him. Like, Kyle Tucker just hit his sacrifice fly. Then he walks Tay Oscar on five pitches. I mean, I think they just were like feeling bad for him. The one strike Kirkering threw here was also a ball. Tay Oscar didn't bother to challenge it. He was just like, all right, let him have it. Let him have it. And then the next pitch, he jerks outside. So bases loaded. Up comes Tommy Titties. He didn't get the memo. He was like, y'all feel bad for him? Let's humiliate this asshole. Watch these titties flap around the bases. Sponsored by Toyota, bitch. Three run triple. Nine to three Dodgers completely putting the game away. They ended up winning the game nine to five. That was the final score. Dodgers did that because of all the people who work nine to five jobs. They fight for the common folk of America and the elite humans of America. Whoa, those lights. Jeez. Oh, Alex Kahl almost murdered Shohei. Little friendly fire once the game ended. That's not ideal. More so for Kahl. Shohei's fine. It's the Japanese mafia Kahl might have to worry about. But yeah, I think everyone's good for now. And that's about it for now. All right. Love you. Bye.