The Rock’s funniest moments: WWE Playlist

you see coach they believe in you The Rock believes in you and we are on the Rock Show we're on Smackdown so coach why don't you dance the Charleston like you've never danced before. To do the Charleston you took dancing the shut up you took dancing lessons as a kid now dance at Charleston coach. Dance. Play that Barry Manilow music. Yeah, Charleston. Yeah, turn the other way. The Rock understands what took place the night you won King of the Ring you got down on your knees put your little hands together and you said a prayer and it sounded like this oh dear God you see my name's Billy and I just won King of the Ring but there's one problem everybody still thinks that I absolutely suck and then at that point Billy your house started to shake the heavens opened up and God himself spoke to you and said this Bob but my name's Billy or what your name is so let me get this straight the WWE has gone from the powerful Austin 316 to the dominant and iconic can you smell what The Rock is cooking all the way to you can't see me you can't see me you can't see me what are you playing peekaboo you can't see me I can see you can you see me oh believe me we all can see you we all can see you a blindfolded sleeping stuck in the basement Stevie Wonder can see your monkey ass how the hell you think we can miss you come out here with your bright ass purple shirt and before that your bright green shirt before that your bright orange shirt you're running around here looking like a big fat bowl of fruity pebbles you know before this match takes place The Rock is here to clear up a few things you know at the last pay-per-view of No Way Out the entire world witnessed a few things that really didn't make The Rock happy so let The Rock clear them up first things first regardless of what happened The Rock is still your Intercontinental Champion you tapped out Rock at the hands of Ken Shamrock and you may not have that title after WrestleMania on March 29th buddy and of course The Rock is here to clear up the simple fact that there is absolutely positively no dissension within the nation you believe that King you guys know that hey The Rock doesn't harbor any hard feelings as a matter of fact The Rock feels like this hell everybody wants to be like The Rock so boys Commodilo Mark Henry I got a couple of gifts for you gentlemen from the bottom of my heart Wow The Rock gives you this three $15,000 solid gold Rolexes whoa comma it's for you D'Lo I know they're a little heavy and of course Mark Henry now I know your wrist is a little big but don't worry The Rock will take care of the extra gold links if they don't fit Oh generous is The Rock I know you guys are surprised but hey back up one second mark for you Farouk The Rock wants to make something perfectly clear that I'm here to let you know that there is only one man in this entire world that's capable of leading the nation and that's you whoa there you heard it didn't you see The Rock feels like this Farouk hey you're the greatest thing since an egg white omelet so from the bottom of my heart The Rock offers you this to show his respect and admiration enjoy this has got to be something big JR hey probably a Picasso or something got to be rare let's show the entire world maybe a Renoir don't let your emotion carry over it's for you absolutely and Kamala but he is one big scary cat and he is one big red ass-kicking machine he's got no love oh here he comes now he's scary but he ain't scared watch this The Rock asked you something you ready to go out there and whoop some ass ready to go out there and whoop candy ass oh I'm ready are you ready you bet your ass I'm ready. It doesn't matter if you're ready because tonight The Rock in pain with Hulk Hogan and you know something brothers whether it's the million or 20,000 Hulkamaniacs or 20,000 screaming Canaanites the question is brothers what you gonna do Scott Hall Kevin Nash X-Pac what you gonna do picture with The Rock. Yes sir. For your son. Yeah. No problem. You're his man. Okay you guys get in there ready so much for the people's taste what'd you just say oh no no no see you shouldn't have said that The Rock was being a man no problem picture for your son no problem The Rock gonna tell you what you could do with that camera you Chico Reza Ramon and then what you do you give it to your big buddy big daddy cool Diesel turn it sideways and then you give it to him give it to Hogan Hogan you take that camera it's already shined up turn sideways eat your vitamin say your prayers and stick it straight up all your candy asses so now so now Triple H The Rock says what you're gonna do when the 24th no wait that's not it that's not it that's not it hold on that's not it oh this is it this is it to be the man you gotta beat no wait that's not it that's not it oh this is it oh yeah now damn it that's not it either don't worry yours is no better oh wait this is it this is it I am the best there is the best oh no wait that's not it either that damn sure ain't it this is it the most electrifying line in sports entertainment today if you smell what The Rock is cooking as a matter of fact this is your life what The Rock's life look on Rock's face how you doing Mrs. Griffith I think he does remember sure The Rock remembers you sixth grade home ec class right do you remember how all year long the only thing The Rock wanted to do in your class was make pancakes in home ec and you never let The Rock make his pancakes did you you wanted The Rock to make chocolate chip cookies blueberry muffins but never pancakes and then right before summer vacation you said hey Rock tomorrow I got a nice surprise because I'm gonna let you finally make your pancakes what a memory and then the next day you came to The Rock and you said Rock unfortunately I'm all out of Aunt Jemima but that's okay but The Rock says this hey uh you still like to cook sure like to still like to bake bread and you know your roles right The Rock says this you should know your role and shut your mouth well not a very popular coach hey coach uh that's a really nice whistle you have around your neck coach is that that same whistle uh you use that night you mind uh giving a little blow just one time for The Rock you and mine coach The Rock like to do something special with that whistle oh no I wonder what that could be The Rock would like to take that whistle you got that very whistle you just put to your lips shine it up real nice that's nice turn that some sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass hit the bricks you jerk I think the coach is out of here man got Rock's old high school girlfriend how you doing honey you remember uh every Saturday night back in high school how you and The Rock used to sit on your parents couch oh and The Rock used to put his arm around you and we used to kiss a little bit a lot of console hockey we used to kiss a little bit a lot of tongue you used to love The Rock's tongue didn't you remember how you used to nibble on The Rock's ear on The Rock's neck and you would whisper to The Rock used to whisper to The Rock hey Rock go for it go for second base oh second base looks like a ball player and as The Rock put his hand ever so gently on your knee slid his hand up inch by inch oh boy Rock's old high school girlfriend here on This Is Your Life and what did you do you cut The Rock off on second base uh-oh you ever get tipped off on second king a Triple H The Rock says we seem to have developed a little pattern here and that pattern is that every single week you come out here and you run your mouth and every single week you subject all of us to watch you stand in the middle of the ring grab a microphone and you say this tonight i am the game and in this very ring for the next 20 minutes i'm going to be talking and saying absolutely nothing well The Rock says you absolutely suck you see Triple H The Rock says tonight is going to be a special night but it's not going to be a DX night because quite frankly the thought of another DX night makes The Rock want to stick his finger down his throat and spew the people's vomit all over your candy asses who in the green hell are you oh no no you know don't answer that The Rock knows who you are oh yeah The Rock knows exactly who you are there's a green shirt h on your chest green mask oh you're no ketchup as a matter of fact no no don't go nowhere The Rock knows exactly who you are yeah yeah you're the resident superhero the hurricane The Rock knows who you are my man yeah don't you ever bust in The Rock's door like that again you hear hey but what's more importantly than that The Rock remind you of something you ain't nothing you understand that every superhero can whip that every single one of them Superman Batman Aquaman oh yeah Aquaman the dude that talks to the fish he'll whip that little candy ass just like that well I know one superhero who I could definitely beat this is joke who the scorpion king oh no you you're no no there is no way you can beat the scorpion king you know Brendan Fraser beat the scorpion king you did not that was a special effect for the movie for Christ the scorpion king is the most powerful one question rock just one more can The Rock fly even smoking and funny cigarettes The Rock can fly and whip that candy ass The Rock good because tonight the hurricane is going to send your candy ass flying over the top rope in that battle royal it was a special effect for the movie