How Men Really See You

What if your parents really were right? What if your parents knew that to be attractive and appealing to a man came down to something so simple that it sounds almost preposterous, that it sounds like something parents are supposed to say, that if you just had the real answer, the real secret about men, that would be better, but not something, gosh, that my parents probably knew. I'm going to tell you something in this video because it's not enough just to tell you, but if you understand the why part and what goes into it, you've probably been doing it wrong, innocently. You've probably been thinking of it as something different than what you were told, and parents aren't the only ones that say this. It's just, you're probably going to recognize this. Oh, my parents said this, but a lot of times what parents do is they don't fully explain what they're trying to convey, or sometimes they don't really understand the power of this because you'll find this whenever a man is really smitten with you, whenever he's head over heels, whenever he just can't get enough of you, whenever he's blowing your phone up with text, whenever if you've been in a relationship for a long time and he still sends flowers, it does still happen, and he still tells you how much he loves you and how lucky he is, this is at the core of that. Get this right, and you'll be feeding a man what his heart craves month after month, year after year. Neglect this, and you will be starving him from the very thing his love feeds off of. If you don't know me, I'm Bob Grant. I'm the owner of Relationship Headquarters, and if you like this, be sure and hit the like button and the subscribe button, and we'll make more of them. I've also got a free gift for you down below. It's called What Men Find Irresistible. A lot of folks have taken us up on that. It's free, it's delicious, and it's just for you. Just go down to the bottom and you can pick it up, and today I'm going to tell you about this thing that's going to sound so simple at first, and I find most of the time women that skip over this make things too complicated. What men crave about you, one of the things we're looking at is we don't want something that affects every man. See, if we're trying to be appealing to every man, you've heard this a lot of times, you're appealing to no one, because being appealing to every man means I have to make adjustments. I have to act this way and pay attention to that and not do this, and I'm living based off the reaction I'm getting from him. Maybe he has a look on his face of disapproval, maybe he doesn't seem like he's having a good time, and I'm constantly making adjustments because I really like him, or he's really wonderful, he's really sweet to me, and I want to like him perfectly normal. But when I'm making those adjustments, if you'll notice, I'm having to get outside of my head and I'm focused on what he wants, and I'm so distracted with that that what I'm losing track of is the ability to be myself. My parents say this all the time, just be yourself. My parents said that. The problem is when I got in trouble, they never said that. So it can't just be, be yourself, because there were times being myself would get me in trouble. What we mean by be yourself is, number one, you have to know who you are. Knowing who you are, this is one of the mysteries. Folks don't realize who you are primarily is who you have chosen to be. Growing up, none of us were born empathetic. I know some have more of a disposition. If you've been around children, if you've had children, children are not empathetic. You let children grow up on their own, they're not going to develop a healthy sense of empathy. People are empathetic and kind because they have chosen to be. Hopefully it was taught to them and modeled for them. Someone's kind because they've chosen to be kind over and over again. Someone's patient. Some people's disposition are more so than others, but they've chosen to be patient. People are not born with character traits. You are not either. The beauty of this is, since you've chosen to be who you are, we can also choose to change or alter this. This doesn't mean you need to choose to be a better person, but what things do you like? I'm pretty creative. Growing up in school, no one really cared about that. They cared about you getting good grades. But I like being creative. I could have stuffed that down and stifled it. Part of being creative is, sometimes I'm sensitive. Sometimes I am sensitive. But I would rather be that. I choose to be that versus being stoic and being just like nothing affects me. I'm this way because I've chosen me. Some of it's my disposition, but I've chosen to be. You get to be what type of woman do you want to be. I don't mean changing your whole personality. But what things do you want? Because this is what a man's going to pick up on. It's not just people say, I'm just that way. You don't have to just be that way. Do you want a man to adore you? What is it you do? Do you think you're worth being adored? Or do you want him to constantly prove that to you? Do you think you're worth taking care of? I don't mean he owes you. Do you think you're a good friend? Have you chosen to be? This is not a blamey thing. But this is, most of you have qualities that are really good. I want you to own that and realize you've chosen that. That's a great gift you're going to give a man. If you're kind, you've worked for that. That's a gift he's going to get. And therefore, if a man doesn't appreciate that, he's not your guy. If you've chosen to be patient or witty, or just think of who you are. Think of the things you like about you. I'm saying this because the things you like about you, you like about you because you've chosen them as much as they come to you. It's a combination. I want you to let him see those. You have to be willing to see them first. You have to be willing to appreciate them. You have to be willing to defend them at times. People make fun of you with it. It doesn't mean you have to get in big arguments. I don't apologize. Sometimes I say the wrong thing. That works really well with friends and clients. Sometimes I speak too fast and say the wrong thing. And in the process of that, I have to say, oops, you know what, I should have waited. I should have, but I would much rather be creative and empathetic. I would much rather interact on a real level than be measuring what I'm saying. If someone says, Bob, why would you say that? I'll defend it, not in the sense of I can do what I want, but defend it like, you know, I probably should have, but that's going to happen sometimes with me. Sometimes I'm just going to say stuff too fast. I get this sometimes when I do emails from my email list. I've never been good at spelling. And now with all the spell checks, you would think when I sent out emails, but sometimes I get an idea and I'm so excited to get it out. I get it out and don't spell check. Man, some of the ladies just hammer me and I get it. A lot of you ladies are into grammar. Grammar is important. Don't get me wrong, but probably not as important to me as it should be, but I would rather get the idea out and have a bad spell than to me think it through. And I understand it takes two minutes, two seconds to do grammar check. I get that. But that creative part of me, that's going to happen at times. So I'm curious, leave a comment below. I'd like to know what is it about you that you like and do you let men see this? Are you proud of it? I don't mean you have to proclaim it from the mountaintops, but being yourself is going to happen because when a man sees this, it's a good fit for you that likes it. He's going to do something to him in a that inspires him to take care of you more, to fall more in love with you. If you're someone that's quiet and you're a good listener, he's going to love that. Therefore, if you get guys that are saying all you do is you're quiet and you never say anything, stop saying something's wrong with you. I mean, maybe you look at that, okay, if there's something we want to take a peek at, but stop doing the blame thing. That's not it. We want to take feedback if it's a pattern, like if we have a lot of people saying the same thing, then let's take that into consideration, or we want to take it from people that are close to us that don't have an agenda. But just some guy on a date saying something, let's take that with a grain of salt. Remember with him, you being yourself gives him the freedom to be himself. We want someone to love us because of what we naturally do that they just happen to like. For me, if a woman likes someone encouraging, I'm her guy. If she wants someone like my buddy, Greg, who's ex-military, I mean, Greg's a great friend, but he's not me. I mean, he's got a really, really dry sense of humor and you want to go outside and he's scoping everywhere, you'll feel safe with him. For like 100 yards, you'll feel safe. He's probably not as encouraging as me. Neither one is wrong, it's just different. The same for you. What is it you do? And the irony is, folks, I want to tell you this, it is the weirdness, it is your faults, it is your deficits. That's what men fall in love with even more than the traits you think are ideal that he should. The nuances and the subtleties that you've been laughed at, that you've been blamed. I don't mean character issues you need to work on, but those things are what make you irresistible to the right men, not to every man. In fact, those things that repel those men are doing those jobs. The reason for rejection is for protection. Rejection keeps you protected from the wrong guys. No one likes to be rejected. I don't like it either, but rejection keeps us from ending up with the wrong people. So bless rejection. Not fun, I realize. Be sure to leave a comment down below. I read every one of them, and I look forward to seeing you next time.