This Is One Of The BIGGEST Lies Told To Women

Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel if you're new here, I'm Courtney Ryan and today we're gonna be reacting to a tick-tock We're gonna watch it together Reconvene and I will tell you what I think so, let's get started and there is a lawnmower outside So I apologize if you can hear that that is what it's like being in the suburbs Feel like when a man is with his dream woman He does not be playing about his dream woman Like this is the biggest life told to women the biggest lie ever Told to women because let me tell you something you think that emotional competence good Communicational skills and having empathy comes out of nowhere just because a man is with his dream woman. It doesn't babes The that is a skill set that you either have it or you don't and the reason that like this lies Perpetuated is because it places the blame on the woman because ultimately if you're with a man that is not treating you Well instead of being like, oh you just don't have good relationship skills. You're like it's because I'm not his dream woman Let me tell you something. It doesn't take much to be a man's dream woman All you got to do is be his type and remind him a little bit of his mother and let me tell you something He's still gonna **** up if he doesn't know how to be in a relationship So this whole rhetoric of it's just that I'm not his dream woman. No, no, no, no He does not know how to be in a relationship There are many points to unpack here some of the things she said I absolutely agreed with others Maybe not so much, but I want to remind you that that is normal You do not have to agree with every single thing that someone says in order to acknowledge that they made a good point I think that's a huge misconception on the Internet of thinking you have to agree with Every single thing that someone says in order to like someone or in order to acknowledge that they make a good point Anyway, just wanted to give a little disclaimer by saying that in the beginning The first thing that I want to unpack here is the dream woman language because it is just BS It's complete and utter BS. I've mentioned it in the past. I will say it again because I cannot stand this It's BS to think that it didn't work out with a man because you are not his dream woman Yes So let's start there to think that a man cheated because you're not his dream woman to say anything That happened really because we're not his dream woman is just silly to me and I'll give you the reasons Maybe you're just not compatible Maybe you guys have different values or life goals or an idea of what a relationship should be Maybe he has poor communication or relationship skills. Maybe you have poor relationship or communication skills My point is that there are a lot of reasons why something doesn't work out But by saying it's because I'm not his dream woman takes away the accountability from both you and him so instead of seeing why the relationship truly failed you're kind of blaming it on an Imaginary woman that doesn't exist this dream woman That is not real, right? There's no such thing as a dream woman first of all but anyway and going a step further here to also think that being someone's dream woman comes with a certain set of behaviors is Unrealistic as well to explain this a little bit more. I'll give some examples of other content that I've seen So I've seen a lot of videos talking about if he doesn't pay all of your bills and take you on trips Then you're just not his dream woman or if he makes you pay 50-50 Well, you're just not his dream woman to generalize to this degree or think this way. It's just unrealistic and unhealthy We do not all have the same circumstances. All of our lives are different. All of our financial situations are different You know what works for one couple might not work for another so again to put this blanket statement and say, you know Well, if this guy is splitting bills with you, you know, if you're paying for anything Then you're just not his dream woman because for his dream woman, he wouldn't make them do that. Well That's a bunch of baloney just because you're someone's dream woman doesn't mean that you are going to be treated like a princess never have to lift a finger never Pay for anything and I think this is where comparison on social media really does everyone such a disservice Because they see a woman who is being flown out who gets all these handbags Who has a man who pays for all her stuff and they think that oh Well, she's being treated that way because she's his dream woman And I'm not being treated that way because I'm not my man's dream woman when in reality you might have completely different Circumstances or financial situations that don't allow you to have those things and I think it just places importance on the wrong things when it Comes to a relationship and makes you prioritize the things that truly do not matter Just because someone spends a ton of money on you does not automatically mean that you are their dream woman Often these really rich men who have all this money have all these options in women Spend a ton of money and it means nothing to them So let's kick that out the window you being someone's ideal partner or dream woman And I don't even like to use the language of dream woman and I'll talk about that later in the video But even you being someone's ideal partner doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to get certain things or be treated a specific way especially in terms of money being spent on you or Luxury perks that not everyone gets to experience but social media has us all believing that that is the norm This may have changed since the last time I looked at it, but I believe the average salary in the United States is $56,000 So the next thing that I want to talk about here That's going to elaborate on some of my other points is that relationships require work And I think a lot of people are under the assumption that when you're with the right person The one or your dream woman or man it means the relationship will be perfect Not to mention these ideas that there is the right person the one or a dream partner are all unrealistic and unhealthy, too But I've talked about that extensively in other videos. So I digress that's for another video back to my point here being a good partner Doesn't just happen in the snap of a finger all of the sudden when you're with your dream woman It requires constant work effort and energy Healthy relationships need people who have a healthy skill set to communicate to support each other to handle conflict, etc and I don't necessarily agree with her statement of you either have it or you don't because these are skills that can be learned and Improved on if you put in the work and effort to do so a lot of the time how we become a better partner Regardless of who we're with has everything to do with us and how we communicate how we handle conflict How we've healed from our trauma how we protect ourselves. There is so much that goes into this It's not just as simple as you know, all of a sudden when you're with your dream woman, you're going to be the dream man That's not how it works Relationships are hard They require a lot of healing and inner work on your end and someone who is at a point where they're not willing or able To do that is not going to treat you like you are their dream woman Regardless of if you are their dream woman or not. Does that make sense? You could be absolutely everything that someone is looking for you could check off every single one of their boxes and be perfect on paper But if they aren't ready to be in a healthy relationship They could very well find a way to mess it up and it might not work out with them Regardless of the fact that you are perfect in their eyes So to wrap everything up here with a big red bow Essentially this dream woman language the one this perfect person being perfect for someone the idea of perfection Creates a lot of really unrealistic and unhealthy Expectations in a relationship and I think it's also having a negative impact on modern dating and how we are now Choosing a partner and I know I say this in a lot of videos and I probably sound like a broken record But I try to keep in mind that not everyone has seen every single one of my videos So this might be the first time someone is hearing it But when you're looking for a partner, I think we've really lost sight of what matters and what's important those things being shared values Morals that align life goals that align, you know These bigger things that genuinely contribute to the health and the longevity of a relationship Not these surface level things like where they're taking you for dates where they're flying you out to the bags They're buying you how much money they're spending on you Those things should not be associated With you being someone's dream woman And if those are the things that you're latching on to when you're thinking about the way you deserve to be treated I think there's a bigger issue there because it really should be about respect Communication listening to each other do our values align do our morals align do our ideas about life and life goals align? Those are the things that you should be focused on being committed to growth to effective Communication to being supportive listening to each other You know things that really contribute to the health of a relationship That is what I would consider to be an ideal relationship or a dream relationship if you want to use that language again I don't really like to use that language because I think it's kind of harmful at this point I think we just really need to cut the crap with the social media comparison thinking, you know Your relationship needs to look exactly like someone else's or it sucks. It's so individual It's so based on you and that other person and it comes down to what your values are and if they align Or not comparing your relationship to other people's online or using, you know over generalizations Like if you're his dream woman, he'll be doing this. It's not helping you It's not doing you any favors. And if you're a woman watching my video, I would highly encourage you to Really challenge those ideas and be critical about the things that you see online These ideas of perfection or finding this perfect person finding this dream partner are Really what are keeping so many people chronically single because you are never going to find that I don't mean to sound like a negative Nelly when I say that but I say it because it's not healthy to think that way Nobody is perfect. We are all human beings We are flawed Someone can check off almost all of your boxes or all of your boxes and you are still going to have to make compromises Every single relationship requires work and some level of compromise from both people involved So to think that if you're with this perfect person or this dream person You won't have to worry about any of those things. It's just it's not true and it's never going to happen And again, I don't mean to sound like a Debbie Downer, but I'm trying to be realistic here My goal on this channel is really to bring everyone back down to earth and to help make dating a little bit happier and healthier for everyone and I don't think that this dream woman language the one perfect relationship type of Content or videos or ideas that we see online is really doing anyone any favors and is not contributing to the health of our modern dating dynamic and Situation that is going on today. So let me know what you think down in the comments That is all I have for this video If you liked it or found it helpful Be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content If you haven't already be sure to follow me over on Instagram at Courtney Christine Ryan I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well Also, if you have a video that you want me to react to you can tag me over on tik-tok or DM it to me On Instagram or email it to me. Whatever floats your boat I just love reacting to the videos that you guys send me and you send me some good ones So it's always a pleasure to do so as always Thank you all so much for watching and I will see you all next time