Surviving Gâng Rapë Organised by My Friends - The Story of Pauline Juma Rebirth of A Queen

My dear, my strength, my presenter Ali, has been with us since day one, through all the challenges and struggles in the entertainment scene, and we remain strong in the entertainment industry. Every day, I send you different messages to keep you engaged and uplifted. Sometimes, I share funny stories, and other times, I send you inspiring stories about resilience. On that day, a sudden storm struck, and the story of the storm changed our lives—or perhaps just the lives of the guests here today. My name is Pauline Juma, 26 years old, an amazing woman, a mother, a poet, and a writer. Naishi Kajiado, Kajiado at the moment. He was born in the Kibera slums of Nairobi. Kibera, for me, is a place where I learned resilience, shaped by my own experiences. That young woman is truly amazing—she can bounce back from anything. That young woman who believes in her faith and everything she does in life. So pale Kibera, I was born, I am the firstborn in a family of four. Because of that family, receiving our studies was like a blessing. Getting our food three times a day was a blessing. Kwaza, the greatest blessing in my life, is the blessing of education, for which I thank God every day. Getting a chance to go to school, where I used to be. I was just an ordinary girl in Kibera. A normal girl, with my mom and I being close, by the time I was little, Three to five years, or even longer, to observe and understand the child. At a certain point, I just gave up because it was against everything, you know. Against zile tu vituze enye, I felt as if I had seen it before. Even though I've never experienced a situation where my father and mother are fighting, I know it's painful for society. But I have always been against Miki's neighbor who wants to pigana. We used to live in a confused, self-absorbed house. There are so many things in the house that I must tidy up before the neighbors come over. And every time I used to ask my mother, why do we have pigs? Why are the elders so angry? And my first experience of violence occurred through a neighbor when I was 13. And there was this woman in Kibera, I truly loved that woman. And she was beaten by the husband just due to domestic violence. And at 13 I was ready, I had no experience because for me Nili has affected me for so long in my life. I just went through primary school, and by the time I reached secondary school, the opportunity had already passed. And one thing about me since I was little, I wanted to help, I love helping. You are the one who causes people to suffer from hardship. And at the age of 9, tuliko tumelalanja like the previous night, the whole day tumekanja. At night I told my mother, "You grew up, I want to open a children's home." My mom asked me, "Will you open a children's home and bring the child to live with you?" The only thing is, my mama told me that at that time, God would provide. I finally got everything. So by the time I was going to high school, in Form 1, Form 2, I got a friend. And she was a very good friend. And unfortunately, the bamboo fell. Mom is cooking dinner at home. But since tuliko fale kwa plots, I said to my mother, please, can you talk to the mother? At least one more time, please. Anything that I have received. Through, because I was a scholarship recipient. So we used to be given everything. My father was strict about making sure I went to school so that I wouldn't miss anything. So I knew something a little better came along. At least he held on. And that is what happened. I had a companion who gave me everything I received. Half of the divide. And this was my friend. I am form 2, you are form 1. And we were very close. Hold the child. Every single thing was destroyed. Whenever we went on holiday, I used to go with her to his brother's. Tunafua. For over a year, that is what we used to do. Like she's my friend, she's my sister. I don't see anything beyond that. I had a crush on a tall girl. When a person dies, A woman encourages her every time she tells her that When the child grows up, Please read the lesson. Because that is all I thought A small fire will burn down the forest. Please help me, my friend, so that I may become a great man. And that is what I used to tell her. And in October In 2011, I was in Form 3. And it was normal. Our usual routine. Help me, brother, help me to stand up And then ita peleka shule ni. But that day, everything was different. Because when you are with me, my heart is full Bradha ake, nilisukumuwa. And it's my friend Alini pushing from behind. The lady now. You've been helping. My sister. Alini pushes from behind And the next thing I knew He was struck by his brother. And the brother was among the people who defined. When I was 16 in 2011 October And the brother, the only thing The brother is speaking, I didn't do it So all this time I was helping someone But deep inside their heart It was like You know that's what From that. And to be honest That was the worst moment of my life. How many were there? They were four. But two of them Define. And two of them Beating me up for no reason. I haven't done anything. And the worst of it all It was Anyone as he noticed And the threats Welcome to speak You will kill your mother. If you dare speak out So at the age of 16 You have to make it look like it was something ordinary. And the moment Growing up in Kibera I know everything. That you need to do After he raped me. And that's what I did. I went to Siptalini. I gave them all the documentation. I needed to. And I went back home With all the pain I'll never forget. And I went to school. Have you ever spoken to your parents? I didn't speak to my parents at that time. I didn't speak to anyone because If I dare speak My parents, my mother specifically Will be killed. That is what I carried. In my life. And I went to school. School was tough. As much as You are resilient. As much as you have been raised You will bounce back. I used to bounce back with pain. I used to bounce back with Depression. I was going down. Every single day I started hating male teachers. When I was in school, I was like Every male teacher I used to see They are rapists. It was so hard to go to school. I had to go to another school. And in another school I had to pretend You learn to put yourself in pain. And you go on with life As if nothing has happened Just to cut you short After that situation occurred I remember this is someone Who used to come and walk them? This is someone you used to spend time with. At home. This is someone. You used to live with Did that ever change after that? It changed. It changed, and my mother noticed. My mother noticed that all of a sudden I was so bitter toward my friend. My mother noticed that I was no longer close to my so-called brother. Because the brother was like my brother He was trusted by my parents. I was no longer close to them. I used to avoid him whenever I saw him. Because even when you see him His eyes threaten you When you try to talk to him So I was always there To keep my distance Fortunately the girl After I came back from school Around November After I came back She left. So, to be honest, for me At least that was a peaceful moment. When she left, I did not see her. So it's like the pain was easing down No, the pain did not go down. You know, for years, even after I went to school. That is where you reached I went to school again. I went to another school. At least that was a school. Many people didn't know anything about me. So I was able to hide I was able to hide a lot of things. And pretend as if everything is fine But after Form 4 I was only 18 You see that period In our time You were pregnant in March. That time when you were pregnant I sat down with myself I told myself maybe those men You have offended me. Let me go try to get a child And get married Because after Defilement, I felt like men They were the ones who would protect me Being around men for me You see, when you have someone You tell yourself those perpetrators Will reach me That's what I did. Immediately after I finished Form 4 I went to get married. If you are not healed in life You will always attract The violence in life Because for me So for me I went there. Because this is society I was saying, he has completed Form 4. Let's see where he'll go. He is married; let's give him a chance. You notice small things You notice when someone Offends you You even look at him This was one of the first people. I told my story Simply being honest with them When someone offends you That is why you were raped. You can't show anyone. At one point he hit me. I bled. I was pregnant. I went home to my mum. My mum asked me what I had done. I told her I had gone up the stairs. That is how much I wanted to protect it For my society, not for me So that people can think I am perfect. I am happy I can keep this man. Society as a whole We are happy This is the best couple. It's as if we're trying to compete. One year Today we are okay. Tomorrow we will fight. Until one day I really don't know what's wrong with me about Octobers But it was October. Like today Today is October In October He came home. The usual him He started fighting. That day I was like, I'm done with you. I'm done. I have a child here for 8 months. I'm looking at this kid. I feel like his life Has nowhere to go So that day when he came He slapped me and I turned. I grabbed his arm. When I wanted to stab him My son cried. I took my child I remember holding my firstborn son I called him. I told him Leslie. I promise you You will never experience such a life again. I walked out of a marriage At 7 p.m. It was so violent. To a violent extent I told him It's either two things happen You kill me or I die No one will stay here. You can't beat me up. I am silent Until my neighbor came in She told me you know what I am proud of you She was a Somali woman. She was always protecting me. People look at you But they can't just tell you because you're in love. That day when I left She told me I hope you're not coming back here. That's how I went At the age of 20 Back to society Now you are there facing real demons We told you You will leave us. I am not leaving you. He's following you up. With a knife This is what I tell myself To this day One day I was walking down the street. He called me a dead flower. He hit me on all my toes. Because it was more than 100 abuses If I'm not mistaken But I picked a dead flower I went home. I sat down. Have you ever affirmed the words you are being told? You sit down. I sat down with myself It is true I am this dead flower, this man is saying. But something so funny about me Rather than wanting to heal I entered another relationship. Two months later My mom was looking at me and telling me Pauline, you have not been healed I am like mum He called me a dead flower. I have to prove it to him I can still get a man. I can still get married No mom He hit me. I'm not going back to him. I'm going back to someone else. So that I know I am not a dead flower Here I am in another relationship I have not healed I'm pregnant again. Here is a son once more. Now I have two sons. But one day I think I sat down I told myself How was your man? You will always notice I am still a girl in pain So I will still attract people Will bring pain to your life For me and him It ended up in a very good way He came one day. I provoked him. He slapped me. That's all I can't take this anymore The moment he slapped me I know he will hit me tomorrow. At that moment I was so aware of myself I told him. I thought I was in this relationship for love. But I was here for revenge. And that revenge At that moment, it wasn't helping me. That's when I started opening up You know from 16 I was about 22 when I started opening up. Like I opened up and told people This happened to me when I was 16. I am trying to find myself And I am also trying to help my community So that Because even after my defilement The same thing You just listen to the story It happened to someone So for me all my life At that age I used to tell myself Maybe it's happening because I've opened up Perhaps it's happening because nobody is talking about them. And I used to question Every time Why in our society, when someone reaches Form 4 They have nowhere to go. In Kibera, Number 8 You will hear someone Why in our society No one comes out of this place. And then they go out What is really happening And at that moment I was like, I have to do something. I started training in modeling. But for me, that training modeling Many people didn't understand why I was training in modeling. Because people were like She is not trained. But for me, when I was handling a 13-year-old girl It's as if I'm rewriting my own story. When I was helping a 13-year-old girl Because it's like I'm telling that 13-year-old girl I forgive you For watching violence For everything you've been through For not speaking up in time And for not finding help It was a journey for me. When I was at that time And at that time I had two children. They were taken to my mum. And I am there Starting life at 22 It was so hard for me Because you are fighting Emotions When you are young Defilement Domestic violence You're still there Attracting the same people around you And let me say one thing Survivors heal in different ways. While I was healing I used to struggle with healing Being drawn to the wrong men Because I had to be with A man around me to feel secure I had to be with a man around me So that I feel like I am someone I couldn't define my beauty Like Pauline, you are beautiful No, a man had to tell me And for that I used to get into Many relationships Entanglement You just want to be around people. And these people aren't even good for you. Perhaps they have experienced trauma. And it was so complicated for me by that time But my life actually began And I always call it The Rebirth of a Queen Started when I was 23 When I started telling my story And I was like, you know what I am going to attract the right people Telling my authentic story And telling the world who I am And just beginning the journey slowly That's quite an amazing story. And now looking at The dream you have had since childhood Of starting a children's home Did you ever achieve that? Oh my God I have achieved many dreams. I think, but that Dream 2020, that was last year I received a call. That was so annoying. I received a call in the midst Of a pandemic, and it was 7 pm That Pauline compatibly There's a girl Who has been defiled? And the first question I asked Thirteen, and I was told. And it broke me I was like, you know what This is the time You felt once again that this wasn't your story I felt like this is Pauline And you know that moment Every night when you go to bed You pray to God. Let no one else repeat my story I don't want it That is the prayer I make every night And then I'm here receiving a call A 13-year-old I have just moved from Kibera. And that time it was very strict. I have just moved from Kibera. I have come to live in Kajiada West. I left During curfew? I left during curfew And I had to go rescue that girl And I looked at that girl I told her that from today you are going to be safe. And that was the beginning of a safe house for me. That was the beginning of a safe house. I wanted in my life to give a space To children To girls, to teenagers Because for me Behind that rebel You know that boy you call a rebel He has been robbing for 17 years. There is always a story. And that is always the story I want to find. That is always the conversation I wanted to listen to. I didn't want to listen to that. Rebel who has been robbing I know it's okay But what drove me there? A 17-year-old boy can't just start stealing. A 16-year-old boy An old woman cannot simply go out. They say that For someone to reach the wall He must have been pushed to the wall. Or moved to the wall And different people react Differently So for me, that was the beginning of a safe house. For me But the beginning of the Rebirth of a Queen The organization Because the organization was founded in 2019 Was through a poem Whenever I feel down That is how I heal myself And there was a night I was writing a poem to my 16-year-old I was telling my 16-year-old I forgive you. Yourself Your 16-year-old self I forgive you. I want you to remember that I love you I want you to remember that you are healing Not for yourself But for every generation that comes after you And even before you Your mother, your grandmother Your ancestors You are here to break every generational curse And today I just want to remind you You are a queen reclaiming your crown. And at the bottom I wrote This is the Journey of the Rebirth of a Queen And that is how I started an organization I was like this Rebirth of a Queen I want to support other queens To reclaim their crowns Because most of the time when we go through So much pain in life You feel as though there is nothing When I was 16 years old After defilement If I had been told I could speak out I would never Now I am 26 I have tried to commit suicide. More than ten times I wake up intentionally. Every day, I tell myself I am not dying Today Because you fight against memories You battle trauma I don't wear green And that is something I tell everyone. I don't wear green I can't wear a green dress. If you ever bring me a green gift By the way, I'm a devil. Because you are like Are you trying to traumatize me? That is the dress I was defiled in. Are you trying to traumatize me? So for me, it's a journey. And that is the journey of the Rebirth of a Queen Just trying to tell a girl Today you will be just fine. Today you will be very happy. I don't want to look at anyone. We heal differently Because there are no safe spaces for them You fight and torment her your entire life One thing I would love to tell them You still have your crown. It is still with you. Just give yourself the chance to heal It is so hard I don't lie to anyone that healing is not easy. It is so hard But in every little step you take Cheer yourself up I am one kind of person before the world celebrates I always want to tell myself Pauline Congratulations on getting out of your bed Opening the window And getting out of the door Congratulations on showing up If you follow my post You will realize some of my posts. I write that. I have the most beautiful smile in the world. Because I don't want anyone to tell me It is beautiful. I have the most beautiful smile in the world. And my smile lights up the world I don't want to wait for anyone. To confirm it for me And there is a poem I wrote That night You battle anxiety I went to the paper. And I looked at that girl in the mirror And whenever I meet girls Whenever I meet boys and even men I tell them to write that poem down. Because when I tell you You are beautiful. I don't mean your face I mean your heart I mean, your heart is so amazing. To a degree that it can support your body When I call you amazing I'm telling you, you've fought so hard But you still show up You light up the world with a smile When I tell you that you are confident I don't mean Your aggressiveness is rudeness. I mean that aggressiveness toward living life It is what makes our world a better place. When I tell you that you can do anything As long as you set your mind to do it I always tell kids that you can be The president of this country No matter what the world shows you So if that poem can inspire someone Let them carry it. Forever in their hearts That's great. We were listening to a story. By Pauline Wright I think she is amazing. Talking to her You just feel A different kind of energy all around you This is truly amazing. To anyone who wishes to reach Your organization You can find Rebirth of a Queen On our Facebook page Every detail about us is there This is what I tell everyone Who wants to support us? This is a journey. Rebirth of a Queen is a movement. It started with Pauline It will be taken care of by another generation. But as long as we work together That little thing you want to support If you need help from us Contact us We are here to help and support. If you want to support us Go to our Facebook page Rebirth of a Queen There is all the information. On how to help us We would truly appreciate it. Do you mind sharing your number? 0720339204 We will also display a number on the screen For anyone who wants to reach you For help Or maybe they want to reach out to you and support you The number will be below Thank you so much for your time. Thank you so much for the wonderful and encouraging words. To those who are going through a great deal in the world By the way, people are going through a lot. In this world Before we end This is Mental Health Awareness Month The only thing we need to do To be kind to one another I don't know your battles. I don't need to hurt you A small smile can change the world. Be kind to everyone My name is presenter Ali. Your entertainment PA behind the camera My wife, Henry Frank Team Zima Eric Mukabwa And David Kimolo I wish you all a great day Don't go anywhere