How to Know if Someone Truly LOVES YOU - RELATIONSHIP EXPERT ALLAN LAWRENCE

I'm feeling strong today. I'm the presenter Ali. You're the entertainment PA. And by the way, the air is always amazing for sikus ote. I saw how the children were telling different stories. Kiyo moza burudani na pia simulizi mba zundani yake. I learned different things. Today, we are joined by one and only Alan Lawrence. He is a relationship coach. Actually, I did. I'm coming here to record a story with Sisi. By the way, tumikotu kileta 2 stories tofauti. You know, we're just trying to add flavor to whatever we are bringing to your channel. So, keep subscribing. At the beginning of the show, it's time to take a look. Here's your presenter, Ali. You are an entertainment personal assistant. The air is always amazing. Lakini, what's the matter? Alan Lawrence, a jamboree participant. Thank you so much for having me, Mwana. I appreciate. I thank you, my child. Child, welcome very much. By the way, this is actually our first time. You know, make up a story. You know, to have a conversation with a relationship expert. It's also our first time doing it. This kind of conversation. So, if you guys actually love this kind of conversation, Just comment below, utuambi You're welcome, Alan Lawrence, and the rest too. But tell us today. Today, umikuja kutuambia nimu. Thank you so much. First of all, Mwana, I am truly honored. Kukua, pioneer for the first episode of the show. Today, we are arriving at the meeting. matters concerning the relationship. Why? You know, I believe everything. revolves around relationships. You stay here with me, you go work and Everyone is talking about relationships. So, the moment relationships are settled, Everything progresses. So, if all you have at hand, you got it through money, through your effort, It's not worth it. True possession of your own is through the relationships you have. So, relationships play a major role. in whatever you want to do A relationship is like a ship. We use a ship to go from one level to the other. or from one place to another. So, we use a relationship as a ship to progress to the other side of life. Oh, I see what you mean. Therefore, relationships play a major role. That's why I place so much importance on relationships. and I mostly write about relationships and what have you. So, let me come and tell you a story about relationships and how people should date healthily, How people should relate to each other from a health perspective. Why? Because right now, During Christmas, people are going home. and all that stuff. You are meeting even people You have been chatting online. They are in Dubai. The time they are coming It's time for you guys to bond. Actually, that brings me to something I believe that most people really struggle with. You can be in love with someone, I can be in love with someone. serialize but at what point do you know that You know what, this someone truly loves me Wow, interesting. Thank you for the question. You know the most important thing In a relationship, love is number one. Can you be friends? Because most of the time people get it wrong at the very beginning People start dating, then they want to be friends. It should be you begin. at the level of friendship Then you go on a date. So in friendship, at a point where you check your compatibility, you check the chemistry. How can we relate with this person? Because it reaches to a point where you no longer I want to talk about love. You just want a conversation. whereby this person is your best friend This person is your greatest lover. So at all given times you check on that chemistry. How can this person Be there for me? In the end, the relationship is for you. to progress and to push each other To grow in purpose. Do you understand? Whereby whenever we come into contact, because I've always said this over and over that you collect from where you are connected. So how is this person, whenever We connected with this person in life. What have I truly accomplished? But then I just want to know looking at what you've just said, the first thing that should come is friendship. Does it mean that If we've already started dating and we did not become Friends, does it mean that relationship? is not meant to work? And how do we go about doing that? The relationship can still work. because we've seen there and if it only works when people are very intentional You know what? I have letter 50, you have letter 50 to make this thing work. Whereby this relationship whereby I feel the other person's effort I celebrate them. I'm not just tolerating them. You understand? Regarding this person is here, but I just don't take them for granted for the sake of it. Because either you are in a serious relationship, or are you the one treating The relationship is serious. I'm just repeating that one. It's either you are in a serious relationship or are you the one treating the relationship Serious. So what's the difference? The difference might be the other one. person, because let's say for this scenario whereby a man 99% A man knows the direction of a relationship. Okay. So a man Already knows the direction of this relationship if it is leading to marriage or It's just a one-night stand. The man Knows. The man knows. Okay. Psychologically. So a man will definitely Know that this relationship is not working but the problem with ladies Most of the time, they try to resurrect. What is death? Okay. You see, this relationship is dying. but you are doing your utmost like ICU, you know, literally so that the relationship can work. It cannot. work. You can never, ever teach someone on how they should love you. You will be sacrificing your one's own self in regard to something called a relationship. Yet this relationship is not working. So it is a level. whereby everyone you feel The feeling is mutual. And I would say that a relationship is not on the foundation Of feelings. It's commitment. Okay. That is why you cannot Just see someone and say that you know what I just felt something. No. It's a commitment. Then what happens? Do you know these kinds of people you meet, and they just tell I saw him. And I knew he was the one. You know It's funny, most people say But if you look at it closely deeply, they just like The person. Okay. Because, just like, you can get to the supermarket You see some product. You will love it. that product. But it does That doesn't mean it will work for you. You need to understand that you are not meant for everyone. And not everyone is meant for you. So throughout all this time you have because There is no commitment without communication. Okay. So where exactly the moment you communicate with this person That is why people go on dates. And whenever you go on dates, is that the point? You are now trying to find out this Person. Is there chemistry? Is there compatibility? Is it like now you Start to envision five months from now Where will we be? Because feelings can come and go. Because the rate at which you like that person at the very onset. It means that you will dislike them from the very beginning. And I always Post this. If a person you Ask them why they love me? They don't. Answer you. Believe me, they will break you. for no apparent reason. There should Be a reason why they love you. Okay. You should know why you Love them. You should know. Yeah. And where do you draw the line and you know you just Say that. I think what are some of the things Someone who can do that can make you You know what? This person does not truly love me. You know It is a question of the love language. Whereby How do you show respect? How do you perceive it? Love? You understand? And at this point, you don't even need a prophetic insight. You don't need a psychologist to tell you. There are Some things you should not compromise. A relationship in which you have to compromise 90%. That is not It's worth it. Okay. Whereas you need that feeling when you feel You are at home. Whereby You are at ease. Whereby this Person, you can be vulnerable with them, as we mentioned earlier. Whereby you can tell this person anything and everything, and they won't judge you. They won't Use this weakness to put you down. They will be there. They know that early you have this weakness, and they are there to Cover up your in public but they will be able to correct it You in private. So they are there. as your best friend. They are there minus everything and minus what The world is telling you. They are there for you. At all given times. Yeah. And now looking at those, these are the things someone can do for you to know that they truly I love you. Now what are The red flags? You just sit down. and say like ah! Ah! And then you just decide to walk out. What are some of the red flags that Should people be on the lookout? Number one is This person does not allow you. and allow you to do other things They just want you to feel at all times whenever there is a mistake They want you to feel You're the problem. They are never willing to admit the problem. They are never willing to offer solutions. Most of the time they will be pointing in your mistakes. Most of the time at all times Then the other thing this person is always intimidated by By your success and by your strength. So they will do everything and anything to put you down. down. But a true person who is looking in a future with you, they will In turn, come and support your vision. They will come and be there. as your best cheerleader. They will support you at all given times. But you are trying to uplift yourself and this person Putting you down is a red flag. You don't need to. But the problem with most people today, they tend to confuse the red roses with red flags Whereby this person is not treating you properly. Then the other thing is How long will you continue to teach this person? about how they should love you. Remember, it's a relationship. It's not a mentorship. program Whereby people... It's a relationship. Not a mentorship program. Whereby you find the person They come to you, they try to Fix everything you are doing. Everything you are doing has a cause. You feel... No person can ever be lectured on how they change. You can never. Because if a person wants to change, they will change. One thing you will accept with me No one changes instantly. They changed a long time ago but you choose to ignore. So be careful about the things you tolerate. in a relationship because you are teaching this person on how they should Carry you around. You understand? So this person did not change instantly. They were red flags, but you chose to ignore But now when it comes to You can't bear it anymore. That is the moment. You start to speak out. But no one is there. changes. And that is why I I have always said not to commit to a person. who you haven't seen how they react Under pressure. Do not let a person know You haven't seen how this person reacts. towards a person who is unable to do them Anything. You have been to a restaurant. How this person treats that waiter she will speak volumes about How this person can treat you. Remember This person has never done anything to you. You should not commit to a person. if you have not seen this person how they behave when they have money. Because money amplifies the character of a person This person has not tested power. And you say they are good. This person hasn't even started yet. to function in their intended purpose. So this person, they haven't know themselves. The moment they know themselves That is the point; now you will start to think. They are changing. But they are not changing. They are just beginning. the real part of themselves Does this bring us to the point? where we tell the young people that they should not date? Because looking at whatever you are saying It seems I look young. I have not yet tested money. I have not yet heard power There are many things that I have not heard. that can bring out my character. People should as much as It's like that, but The thing is, you shouldn't Date someone based on their potential Number one. Number two The patterns will never lie. How this person behaves when they are single tells you about this person Will treat you in a relationship. Because a relationship While people are dating is a true manifestation of their singleness So being single is a point at which, by now, this person begin to discover themselves start doing a lot of things. So the moment they get into a relationship they will be in To do these things now completely. Currently, the process of dating trying to get to know this person Ask them serious questions. Try to understand their background. Try to look at a lot of things because if you are trying to look at building a future with this person There are things you won't hide. You will just be open with them. You just have to look at the patterns. Now I just also want to truly understand Is there someone meant for you? Is it a thing because I don't know You as now as the relationship expert Do you think that's a thing? You know, like saying this one was meant for you This one was meant for you? What happens In most cases It is now a point where the moment you guys try to check Your commitment level and your compatibility is not that you are stuck to somebody You can't be glued to somebody. We look at it from nature's perspective. perspective. It is a point at which because people can say Have you ever seen a relationship? whereby people have been pushed because you all look good together Look good together but truly you know that your heart is not there just because somebody Can see the glamour and everything that's not how you're portraying it mean that you are comfortable home is a place where You feel safe. Are you feeling safe with this person? Does this person treat you properly? So don't just get into a relationship and **** the ---- out of it You understand? Just because you can Fitting in doesn't mean that you belong. There. Just because things working out doesn't mean You just have to choose your own path even when things work out doesn't mean Yeah, it doesn't mean because Do you know the problem today? whereby we have a happy generation online but very sad in private we have people who are public success but private failures whereby this person They look glamorous and everything. but in private This person is not happy. They are not at home; they are not. at ease. Every now and then you are with This person you feel tense So it's not worth it. Do not sacrifice your peace. Do not sacrifice your potential. Do not sacrifice like your better destiny on this thing called a relationship just please people, the moment you Try to please people and you will die at their hands. Criticism. You understand? That is why I have always tried to talk to a few celebrities I meet I'm like, you know, the same people Who makes you feel big online? They are the same people who tomorrow will attack you You'll be able to fall into depression So you just need to be very sensitive. Where do you draw the line? like what are the telltale signs in this relationship that you can no longer Take. So don't just do it. for the sake of pleasing people die from, do not just die for the sake of pleasing people I read somewhere They were saying this Langata cemetery It has so many people who They were there trying to change. People. They end up dying. so you just, you aren't God. As long as your name is Ali, you are not Allah. or you are not Yahweh Do not try to change a person a person will change if they truly value to accommodate you does that mean that I can never love someone. and just say that You know I love you but I can't change You know that's something that I've heard It's a phrase I've heard. being used by many people I love her, but she tells me to stop doing this. Let's use an example. She says to stop drinking alcohol. I love her but I can't. You can't stop drinking alcohol. You come into people's lives not to change them You come into people's lives to magnify. them and do not try to push someone to change Connect with this person then the moment you connect with this person There are some behaviors that are not correct. There is a culture you will create. because if this person There is a reason why they are doing it. whatever they are doing because you know, sometimes we are too judgmental We judge, we don't know the option this person had in the first place so you try to understand Where is this person coming from? let's say for that point You're saying this person is drinking alcohol. Maybe they are drinking alcohol to escape from certain realities. so you understand the very moment you enter their lives and you try to connect with them You will automatically change but trying to force them to change so the best way would probably be trying to understand Why do they drink? Connect with them Otherwise, they will simply fall into place. so now of all the things that you have mentioned the basis of cultivating true love What is friendship? Friendship is very important. You have also said that it's possible. to cultivate friendship even if it was not the foundation How do you go about it? number one Are you like Be secure enough to let this person shine Be secure enough to be vulnerable with this person the moment we become friends There is nothing I can hide from you. I'll be like, you know what, bro I don't even have food. That is now the act of friendship. But I will not listen to you. saying so and so Lawrence even told me he doesn't have food. that is why a person like today You break up with a person. He goes out and harasses you. In the first place, this person was not your friend. They were merely enemies waiting for an opportunity. through friendship They will preserve their own integrity. at all times whereby he told me something He will not listen to another person. So I become your safe space. so in the context of a relationship You need to become that kind of friend. you are that kind of friend you want to attract Because in relationships, you attract who you are. so if Your character is this and this You will definitely attract that person. Who is directly like you? just as you cannot expect champagne today on a budget You have to have that budget. to accommodate what you wish to attract It all begins by the foundation Amazing conversation we've been having with Alan Lawrence himself and you are holding a book Tell us about it. before you think of dating by Alan Lawrence, but before we just get into the book We are in the festive season. This is the time when, as I said, your boyfriend is from Maju, your girlfriend is from Dubai, and we are also having people who have probably saved for the year to take their spouses to places to treat their spouses and people they are not experiencing that same kind of treatment the same kind of love maybe this person does not I truly love you You know love love is sacrifice It's not about the quantity. It's about the sacrifice. and the thoughts Behind the giving Why should I say that? Someone is buying. but you are not at ease You understand? And I'm not hating. those who are buying so it means It's like I'm treating my girl out. the only amount I can afford True love is about sacrifice. It's not, it's just about Just the thought itself means a lot So don't put your boyfriend under pressure, don't put your girlfriend under pressure Do the things do with them as you can afford The things you cannot afford, do not Kill yourself trying to prove a point the moment some people try to prove a point because they have not reached it that Dubai you are trying to convince someone to take you there You go to Dubai. so people taking people, places, does not necessarily mean love But some are taking them out of love. some are doing it because They have the resources. Some are doing it. because you forced them but it has not come, they have not felt You understand? So don't put someone under pressure. and do not be under pressure the things you cannot do with This season, try not to do anything with them. Don't kill yourself so live within your means because There is no pressure; in this life, I always say. when you rush, you crash, but if you grow and develop, you grow into it Those things will flow seamlessly. but if you force yourself There's no way you can do things. Then you come, you end up in debt Alan Lawrence before you think about dating Tell us about it. You know Ali. People today have entered into relationships. as if they are signing warranty applications No one reads. what they are signing up for So, relationship today people have treated relationships as a garage, as a rescue mission from themselves someone enters into a relationship because Ali is on a date And Ali is my friend, I will find him. To date, you don't know. Why is Ali dating? and the relationship is on the foundation of commitment, not feelings because feelings come and go so you need to know because information is power How powerful do you want to be? depends on the type of information you have a challenge, today people prepare when someone wants to go to Dubai for example, they prepare You will have a passport; what will you do? all those kinds of things but these things are destiny-altering Someone does it. just for the sake of it just because I am married Don't date them or the person Who is lonely? Date someone who is alone but not lonely. alone but not lonely You meet people who get it wrong in relationships. because they are not well equipped with the kind of the information they want to have in that relationship as you prepare for that relationship You need to start on the right foundation the moment you start on the right foundation You will be able to go. very far, even a building This building, they went up with a foundation. and went down Their relationships are probably not working. before you think about dating before you think about seeing someone Grab a copy This book is actually available. You can take his number. You guys can talk to him, you guys can call him for even relationship advice so do you like Meet couples when you have a problem In a relationship, you talk to them. Yeah, we do. I do a lot. then there are those seminars I do once in a while Due to COVID, we're doing Zoom. all those kinds of things, just to help my generation because in the end Ali, 100 years ago You were not there. Maybe in 100 years you won't be there but the kind of legacy we leave behind is what speaks about us so I believe we live our lives as legends and legends will always Think about the next generation about the legacy they leave behind Today they won't remember you for the shoe you wore. but one thing they will remember the legacy you leave behind amazing, amazing conversation right there with Alan Lawrence I'm going to share the link to his channel. in the comment section And I'm going to pin it, guys—go show some love. Go show some.vendor support Take a look at his number. Thank you so much, guys, for watching If you guys want to see Alan Lawrence again in this channel Just comment below Tell us that you know what presenter Ali is. We want to see Alan Lawrence again. We are looking for him. out of his busy schedule He comes and we tell a nice story everything about health and relationships This is the guy to go to. My name is Presenter Ali, your entertainment PA. but before we end, your last words my last words what I just want to say especially this festive season Enjoy responsibly because next year we still need you next year is a year in which They need you on Ali's channel and they need you on mine. so in the end Be good to each other Whatever you share is caring. So this season I pose a challenge. to each and every one of us Be kind to that person. especially the one who can't Reach out to them and show them some love. amazing Behind the camera is my older brother. His name is Eric Mwakaba. My name is Presenter Ali, your entertainment PA. A is always for amazing all the time If you want to be loved, don't wait.