How to Lead a Relationship Like a Gentleman

Many relationships today are failing because men fail to take the lead. But leading a relationship is not simply about getting your woman to do whatever you want just because you're the man. Leadership requires a great deal of responsibility and emotional intelligence. Today I see a lot of content about dating and how to get a girlfriend, but very little about how to create a successful partnership. And that's exactly what we're going to explore in today's video. Hello, my name is James and I am on a mission to create a generation of gentlemen. But first, we should talk about what it actually means to be the leader in a relationship. Because I know some people are already thinking just from the title, but James, women don't want to be led around like a dog on a leash. That's not what we're talking about at all. But remember that in every relationship, just because the two parties are equal, it doesn't mean that they have the exact same roles. In fact, relationships function better when each person understands their strengths, their lanes, and what they bring to the relationship. It's kind of like driving a car. If two people try and put their hands on the wheel, the car will inevitably crash. Only one person can hold the wheel at the time. But you also have to take the passenger where they want to go. They may play a role in providing directions. Ultimately, you are on the journey together, and you are working towards something that will serve both of you equally, and maybe something greater such as a family. But with that said, let's move on to the very first important part of leading a relationship, which is to actually set a direction. Many relationships today, even if they are somewhat serious, people take a very casual attitude toward them. They are simply going with the flow, seeing how things go. And then next thing you know, five years later, they still haven't made any real progress together as a couple. Not only does that waste her time, but it also wastes your time. If you're currently single, a lot of the setting the direction of your eventual relationship will happen now while you're still by yourself. You have to have a direction for your life, for the type of lifestyle you want, for your financial goals, for your family goals. And then you are bringing somebody into that life who is already aligned with your vision. That's going to make things so much easier, rather than arguing about the big important topics in life with your eventual girlfriend. It also gives her a solid understanding of exactly where you're headed, so she can decide whether she wants to come on for the ride or not. Ultimately, no woman wants to follow a man or be led by a man who doesn't have a clue where he's going. Just because you're already in a relationship and you no longer have to attract a new partner, it doesn't mean you should stop being attractive to your current partner. And it's also important that you continue to take care of yourself simply as a sign of self-respect. Now, gentlemen, I'm sure you already know about the importance of dressing well and being properly groomed, but maybe one thing you haven't considered so much is your skincare. Now, Tiege Hanley is the brand that I use for all of my skincare needs because their products are simple, they are affordable, and they really work. They give you a structured daily system that's designed specifically for men. And that comes with a face wash that you use in the morning and the evening, a specific AM moisturizer with SPF, a PM moisturizer, and an exfoliating scrub to use a couple of times a week. Not only does it keep my skin looking and feeling great, but these routines take just two minutes in the morning and two minutes before bed. Now, I want you gentlemen to try this for yourselves, whether you're in a relationship or you're still on the dating market. And Tiege Hanley has teamed up with The Gentleman's Collective to get you 40% off your first skincare box, plus 20% off for life and a free gift. Just click the link below to take advantage of that offer. The words, I love you, must be some of the most overused words in the English language, because if you want to truly lead a relationship like a gentleman, you have to remember that love is an action, not just a word. Today, it's become so throwaway and it's something that people say in place of actually doing it. One of my favorite books on the topic of relationships is The Art of Loving by Eric Fromm. The idea of this book is that to love somebody shows up in the things that you do and the actions that you bring to the relationship. It's not simply a feeling or a state of being. And a really great mindset to bring into this is to never stop dating. When I talk to men that I admire and I have a kind of mentee relationship with, many of them are married. And one of the things that I really admire about their lives is how happy and fulfilling their marriage seems to be. So many men today talk about their wives like they're a ball and chain or some kind of burden. And then there are other men who truly cherish and appreciate their wives. And of course, that's the kind of marriage that I would like to have one day. One thing I always hear in common from these guys is that they never stopped dating. They still have their date night once a week where they have a babysitter and they go out to a nice restaurant, they get dressed up, they bring their best selves for each other. And they have those two to three hours where the conversation is all about them as a couple. It's also important not to let acts of chivalry and kindness slip or be neglected or to forget the little things like opening her door, buying her flowers now and then. Ultimately, I think that women have a deep need for this kind of love and to feel appreciated and adored. And ultimately, if she doesn't get it from you, she will begin to want it from elsewhere. So many guys make the mistake of getting into a relationship. They start nesting with their girlfriend, staying in, only hanging out with her. And they totally neglect not only their male friendships, but even their own hobbies. Not only is this completely sad and unhealthy for you, but it will also actually cause her to lose attraction. Because she wants a man who has his own thing. She wants a man who has his group of friends, who has his own social life and his interests and activities. Now I'm going to use a religious term here, but this applies whether you are a religious person or not. And that is to Now what exactly do I mean by covenants? If your Instagram feed is filled with girls in bikinis, if you're watching adult content regularly, what woman in the world is going to be able to compete with these thousands of images that are flooding your mind every single day? And some guys might feel like they shouldn't have to change their behavior just because their wife might feel But that's not what this is about. This is about you setting healthy boundaries with yourself. Because if you're always looking at other women, you are going to subconsciously compare your current partner to them. And comparison will be the thief of joy. This is why even supermodels get cheated on. Literally the most beautiful women in the world struggle to keep their man faithful. And it's not because they aren't attractive, they aren't sexy enough. It's because the man has this issue with covenants and he can't control himself. So even if you are still single, this is something that I encourage you to be more disciplined about. It will ultimately make you a much better partner in the future. I truly hope that all of the tips in this video will help you. And for the gentlemen that are in a successful relationship or happily married, I would really appreciate it if you could share one piece of advice for the other gentlemen watching this video who are perhaps in the earlier stages of a relationship or maybe even single. What do you do to lead your relationship like a gentleman? Remember to check out Tee Chanley for all of your skincare needs. Thank you for watching today's video and I will see you in the next one.