How to unlock your inner gentleman

Being a gentleman is not a birthright, it is a deliberate choice. On your journey to become a better man, it's all about the habits, the choices you make on a daily basis, and the overall lifestyle and character that you create. That's what matters. I've been on this mission to help men discover their inner gentleman for over a year and a half now, and in this video, So I want to share some of my thoughts behind the philosophy of unlocking that inner gentleman because i do genuinely believe that that potential exists within every man. hello my name is james and i am on a mission to create a generation of gentlemen as you begin to dress better perhaps speak better and carry yourself in a different way You might ask, am I faking it till I make it? But I disagree with that very question, because what is more fake? If you genuinely feel like this is right for you, if you genuinely want to dress up, you want to treat people well, you genuinely want to be that gentleman, then how could acting on those wishes be anything fake? If anything, this is just the opportunity to express that most authentic version of yourself. It would be completely fake, however, to not dress the way you want to, to not speak the way you want to, merely because you are afraid of the judgment of others. But of course, almost everybody will experience some level of imposter syndrome when they improve themselves. And in fact, I would say that that feeling of imposter syndrome is a great sign that you are pushing yourself enough, whether that's with the people that you are meeting, the places that you are going, Or even the way that you are dressed. Because remember, if you're the smartest person in the room, it's time to find another room. You might think that creating the look of a gentleman requires great sums of money to spend on custom suits, fine shoes, the best haircut. But really, I recommend every man begin from a rather small place with the way that he carries himself. And these changes are completely free. Begin to pay more attention to your posture. And pay attention to your body language. Use slower, more graceful movements. Don't rush. With your voice, speak a little slower than you may naturally do already. Add a tonality of warmth to your voice and deliver every word with intention. You may experience that currently you don't feel like your words are respected and heard the way you would like them to be, but the way that you deliver those words will very importantly tell your listener whether what you're saying is worth respecting or not. Both your voice and your body language, the way you carry yourself, will massively change the way that others perceive you And as a result, massively change the way you feel. When it comes to clothing, the modern gentleman approach is to choose pieces that flatter the male form. Today, you see men wearing baggy hoodies, Jeans, sweatpants all the time, things that do nothing to accentuate their best features. Most men look so much better in a button-down shirt or a polo shirt than a mere t-shirt or sweatshirt. And use blazers and sport coats to build up those shoulders and create that powerful V silhouette. To a gentleman, habits are extremely important. And he doesn't just perform his habits with a stoic sense of duty. He takes pleasure in these rituals, he enjoys the feeling of showing respect to himself, taking part in these classic masculine rituals of grooming and self-care. So turn your everyday morning routine into a morning ritual. Try to get as much pleasure and enjoyment you can from the everyday things like shaving, styling your hair, brushing your teeth, applying fragrance, picking out the outfit. And I always think it helps to have high-quality products that you enjoy using. For example, with a shave, having the badger hair brush, having the double-edged razor, having the nice shave cream, and the post-shave splash cologne. To me, shaving is that ultimate ritual of masculine self-respect. I strongly believe that in order to be a modern gentleman, You need to feel the right levels of energy inside you. You need to feel awake and vibrant, yet calm and collected. You need to have the potential for aggression, yet keep it controlled and channeled into something positive. And it's for these mental reasons, as well as the physical reasons, that I do believe every modern gentleman needs to have an exercise routine that incorporates at least some level of strength and conditioning. And outside of the gym, notice which habits or perhaps which substances affect and alter your energy levels. Are you overly reliant on caffeine for example? Do you get enough sleep? Which foods fuel your performance? A modern gentleman certainly sees his body as a temple and he is discerning about what he allows to enter that temple. Remember a gentleman doesn't need to be excessive or flashy. A gentleman can be very down to earth and in fact in many ways a rather simple man. What's important is the character you have inside and the way you treat others. You are just as much of a gentleman in my book if you drive a pickup truck, wear a pair of Wranglers and a plaid shirt every day as if you live in a penthouse apartment in Mayfair. And especially for the men in their 20s or perhaps even teens watching this video. Remember to take your time. Transformation doesn't happen overnight and it's personally taken me many many years and I've made many many mistakes along the way. As much as I encourage any man's ambition when it comes to finances or love or success, often there are things that we want in the moment and we believe are right for us but looking back we're glad they didn't happen. There are many job opportunities that I'm glad didn't work out for me. There are many women that I'm glad... in the end weren't interested in me. Sometimes God or whatever you believe in has a higher purpose in mind for you. However I highly encourage you to protect your peace and your mindset away from negative draining people. People say that time is the most valuable asset but I believe it's actually energy because your energy dictates what you are able to do in that time. A modern A modern gentleman does not suffer fools. And he doesn't waste his time with people that he believes are a negative influence. Protect that energy and conserve it for the people and the things that matter the most to you. A modern gentleman is not a people pleaser. Never say yes to things that you don't want to do merely out of obligation. Learn to say no. Learn to put your foot down, whether that's with work or within a romantic relationship. Ultimately people will respect you all the more for drawing those boundaries. And while you are working hard, striving to build a better future, don't forget to live your life somewhat as if it's a movie. Dress for exactly how you feel. Don't feel the need to dress down to meet the expectations of others. There's nothing wrong with sitting outside a cafe for an hour, people watching, reflecting. Take the time now and then to enjoy a cocktail or a cigar. And don't forget to journal and write down your experiences just like they are a novel. Because that's exactly what they are, and you are the main character. Most importantly, stay true to your own voice. Especially today, you will hear directions and advice from a million different sources. And those noises are never going to get quieter. But there is one voice within you that will be able to guide you home. And ultimately you have to stay true to your vision and your desires for what you want out of life. One of my favorite sayings is a camel is a horse designed by committee. And what this means is if you take on too much advice, you take on too many other people's opinions and you try to please them all, you end up with a design that is much less satisfactory than your original undiluted vision. And when it comes to creating your life, you are the only one who will get to experience it. So make sure that you live it authentically to you. If you consider yourself to be a man with high potential and you are looking to build the confidence, the masculine presence, the style and the discipline that make a modern gentleman, if you want my one-to-one support with that and to be introduced to a small inner circle of like-minded men who can keep you accountable. All you need to do is just check out the link down in the description. You can even book in a call with me to talk more about joining. I'm very excited to speak with you. Thank you for watching today's video.