My Boyfriend Survived Birth Control _ Beth Stelling

Me and my boyfriend were actually trying and trying and trying, but I'm on birth control. It makes it difficult to conceive. Over the years I have experimented recreationally with all different forms of birth control, and the first one I got into was the IUD. I had that for like eight years, and I got so much done. And I remember when I got the second one, the nurse asked me, she said, your uterus is tilted backwards. Did you know that? And I remember thinking, don't know how I could. But what you're telling me is even my uterus is like, we're good. And then more recently I had to get an ultrasound, and I found out I actually have bicornate uterus, which means my uterus is like heart shaped, which is pretty on brand for me. But what it meant was the IUD, this is my impression of an IUD. It was in there, bopping them on the head or whatever it's doing. And some of them could have, you know, swam around and then gotten in trouble up in these parts. So point being, that was not the right form of birth control for my body. So in my 30s, I started taking the pill just because I wanted to know what it would be like to be a different person. And we found out. They started me on Yaz. Has anybody here tried or tasted Yaz? Are you still on it or? No, you got Yaz'd. I would describe it as psychological warfare. They really don't want us to be in charge. Like, if you're not going to have kids to keep you at home, this will, you crazy bitch. Does anybody want to, no pressure, does anybody want to share why they stopped taking Yaz? I just like to open the floor in case anybody needs to get something off their chest. Or, you know, if you're with somebody you took it for, you want them to know what you went through. Depression? Rock on. Add it to the fun list. Anybody? Again, no pressure. This is for you. I've done all my research. I'll go. I feel like being on that birth control. Oh, and she's a little late that one. We're glad you're both here. No, but I do feel like being on that birth control is the closest my boyfriend will get to a threesome. Just like me and me. I still keep three extra months of it in my purse. Just in case I need to lift a car. Or I meet another person that wants to start a fire. I did, I will say we did have some fun with that birth control, because we would do some birth control bits, my boyfriend and I, you know, like stuff. Because I would take it, I would take it before bed. And so I'd be standing across the bed from him in our matching morph suits with the hole cut out. And I would say to him, thank you for reminding me to take the pill. He didn't, but I like to put that on him. And then I would take the pill and he'd make me lift up my tongue to make sure I swallowed it. And then we would do tasting notes with the birth control, because he considers himself a bit of a sommelier. So he'd say, what are some of the flavor profile you're getting from that? And I'd say, I'm getting like salty tears and jealousy. And then he'd feel bad and give me a kiss. And I'd be like, it's so powerful. Any residual flavor profile for you? And he was like, total peace and freedom. So after that, they did switch me. I switched to Laranfe, which is generic for low estrogen, not sponsored. I don't know why I got so specific. I wish, can you imagine if I was sponsored by Laranfe? I just reached out on Instagram. They're like, Hey, what's up? We saw you made the switch. Curious if you could do a quick promo of it for us. I'd say, sure. And they'd say action. I just be like, um, it's like a little bit better. I don't know. Should I read the side effects? Or they're like, please don't do that. I'd be like, that's weird. Cause I actually always have the side effects printed out with me at all times. The side effects of Laranfe are nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, bloating, spotting, changes in menstrual flow, nipple discharge, not yet. Breast tenderness, breast enlargement, changes in weight, rash, depression, sleep problems, weakness, tired feeling, mood changes, yeast infection. I guess we're starting to see why nobody wanted to yell anything out. Somebody's here on a first date and they're like, their date is like, that's why you're shifting around in your chair. I actually do have a, um, a yeast infection joke that I could never really find a home for, but this does feel like a good spot for it. And I did hear a chant from the back that was like, thank you. So the yeast infection joke goes like this. I won't know that you're cheating on me, but my hoot will because it turns into like an old Southern chef that's like, I knew you were having guests, so I baked something. Swelling, freckles, or dark patches of skin on the face. The or is troubling. Uh, one of those is way worse. Can you imagine starting at the same time as your friend, you guys get together for lunch. You're like, what'd you get? Freckles or dark patches? Oh man, I got dark patches. The last one's migraine. Lauren Effie is like, the birth control company is like, could you put a spin on that or something? I'd be like, all I heard was breast enlargement. you