The Reality Of Finding Attracting Great Women

Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. Lauren, ever after subscribed to my channel, like this video and don't forget to press the bell icon. Today we're going to be reacting to a TikTok. So the video we're reacting to is from a creator with the handle. It's Bailey Maya. It's Bailey Maya. I'm not sure we're going to watch it together all the way through and then discuss. So let's get into it. So as a girl who rarely and I mean rarely ever goes out and does not drink, there are some things that I noticed. So anytime like you are a girl who's like not out in the scene and like people are like, you know, see you once in a blue moon or have never seen you out and they see that you're not drinking. They see that you're not trying to get their attention. Like I'm talking from a male perspective, like that piques their interest. And then I noticed that anytime like the group of people that I'm with, the guys in that group start to pay attention and then they will try to hit you up afterwards and it'll always be the same. Like, oh, I'm trying to go sober. Like you, I'm trying to be like dedicated in the gym. Like you, blah, blah, blah, like shooting their shot. Right. But like not in a very forward way. And that's another thing. I feel like guys won't be really forward with you when you're like that, because they're like low key scared to get rejected. So they will do this. And I'm just like buddy girls like me, the girls that are like me, like very into the gym, don't drink, don't like going out, out, things like that. They don't want to have to pull the party boy out of the party phase. Like I've already done that. I don't want to keep doing that. Like I want a man who's already aligned with the type of time that I'm on. Like I'm not here to get you motivated in the gym. I'm not here to get you to stop popping bottles in the club and going out every weekend. Not my job. Do that for yourself. And if you want a girl like, like that, you should already like have stopped doing those things because like that's not music, attractive, just saying. So this video actually randomly popped up on my for you page. It did not have a ton of views when I saw it. I'm not sure how many it has now, but I think that's even more of a reason to share because I thought this was a fantastic message. I honestly found it to be incredibly refreshing and genuinely solid advice for both girls and guys, honestly. So I wanted to use this video as a way to talk about a bigger topic here, which would be attracting great women. You know, as I always like to say, are you someone that the person you want to be with would want to be with too? This applies to both men and women. FYI, if you're a man or woman watching, I want to go back really quickly to something that she said. She said, I feel like guys are more scared to be rejected by you when you are this type of woman. Now you guys can correct me if I'm wrong, but I would assume that the stakes feel a lot higher with a woman that a guy views as more so like wife material than with girl. Girls who they wouldn't necessarily want to be with long term, just from my experience, reading comments of what men are looking for in women. I think it's usually sort of aligns more so with what she's saying that she does. You know, she takes care of herself and goes to the gym. She doesn't drink. She doesn't really go out. So I would love to hear from you guys down in the comments about this. But I have to think just from a woman's perspective that the stakes feel higher when it's someone that you would maybe want to be with long term, understandably. So like that's pretty obvious to me. And I would assume that a guy would want to make a really good first impression with a girl that he viewed that way. So but back to the video as a whole, I think that she's exactly right. The women who most of you guys would want to be with don't want to have to be your mentor. They don't want the bad boy in his party phase. They don't want to fix you or change you or teach you how to have self discipline or take care of yourself. They want a man who is leading by example and who is already doing those things. They want a man who is aligned with where they're at and not to say that couples can't motivate each other. I think this is actually such an important part of being in a relationship, you know, holding each other accountable, challenging each other. But it is so difficult to do this when you're both at drastically different starting points. I think you have to first want to do this for yourself before you can help someone else do it too. You know, the same way that great guys are looking for really great women, great women are looking for really great guys too. So it definitely goes both ways. Although there is overlap, men and women are often looking for different things in a significant other. So I think that's worth mentioning as well. But I really liked this video because essentially what she's saying is, I don't don't want to be with a man who I feel this need to fix or to change because that's not fair to either person. I want to be with a man who's aligned with me, who I'm genuinely compatible with on a value standpoint, who wants to grow with me. She also gave some fantastic advice there at the very end of her video. You know, she said, if you want a girl who doesn't party, who doesn't go out, who takes care of herself, who prioritizes her health and well-being, and who ultimately just has a good head on her shoulders, you should be doing those things too. It is so much easier to attract someone like that when you are also that kind of guy. You're a guy who is doing those things too. And I think it all goes back to, are you being someone that the person you want to be with would want to be with too? Are you holding yourselves to the same standards that you're holding a significant other to? Something to think about. And if you're approaching dating and you're not doing that, I would highly recommend you start and watch the success continue to improve. Now this isn't always black and white and we absolutely have to leave room for nuance. But I do think there's a lot of truth in you are what you attract. I think people are often confused by the type of person that they're attracting, not realizing that it's pretty on brand. Like it makes sense why you're attracting the type of person that you're attracting. You know, if you're a girl who's going to the club all the time, you're going out, you're partying, you're hanging out with a bunch of F boys, don't be surprised. Then when that's who you're attracting, I think it's really important to go into dating, understanding what your values are, what your priorities are, and what you're looking for in a significant other. You know, I think it's also helpful to think about the person that you would want to be with or the type of person that you would want to be with. What would they do on a daily basis? Would they be someone who's going out to the club every Friday and Saturday? I think it's first helpful to start with yourself. You know, I like to think about the woman that I want to be, like my dream version of myself in my head, and what that woman would do on a daily basis. What is she eating? What is she wearing? How is she moving? And when I'm making decisions, I like to think about that woman that I want to be. And if the woman that I want to be wouldn't make that decision, then I just don't do it. You think about your goals and the person that you want to be. And if your decisions and choices that you're making are reflecting that or are leading you towards that, you know, first do that with yourself, but then also think about that for a significant other. You know, who is this person that you want to be with if you don't want to be with a girl who goes out to the club and parties, and is a huge party girl, don't go to the club. It's really that simple, or at least don't go to the club with the intention of meeting someone. But anyways, started to ramble, so I'm going to And if you want to attract a woman who has a certain list of, you know, qualities or attributes, you should be doing those things yourself as well. Or at least holding yourself to the same standard that you're holding a future significant other to, and be really honest with yourself. Are you being someone that the person you want to be with would also want to be with too? I think when you are incredibly honest with yourself, and you ask yourself that question, the reality might be an answer that you don't necessarily like, but at least that can help start your journey on the right direction. So again, if you want to find and attract a great woman, be a great man. If you like this video or found it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. If you haven't already, be sure to follow me over on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan. I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well, if you have a video that you want me to react to, send it my way. You can tag me directly in the comments over on TikTok or DM it to me. But just tag me down in the comments is probably the easiest way for me to see it. Sometimes my DMs on Instagram can get a little bit flooded, so I don't always see every single message that comes in. But I always love reacting to videos that I get directly from you guys. So as always, thank you all so much for watching, and I will see you all next time.