How to deal with Temper Tantrums

Hi Mommies and Daddies, Welcome back to MomCom India In this video, we will discuss such solutions. which can help you handle children's temper tantrums Yesterday, I posted a video on my channel. where I talked about what temper tantrums are At what age do you see them more? How long do they remain? Why do they occur? And what are the things we should never do? If you haven't seen that video, then please go and watch it. So that you can fully understand temper tantrums If you like this video, then please hit the like button. The goal of this video is 5,000 likes So let's start the video So when children have tantrums Then parents become very worried. about how to deal with it We should not do something. which will cause long-term harm to the child or affect his mental health or the child should learn something which he himself can do because the combination of walking the talk The first tip I will give you is Stay calm and speak softly The biggest mistake we make is that as soon as the child throws a tantrum We react and when the child does not respond to that reaction then we raise our voice and we start getting angry which is absolutely incorrect At that time, the child's tantrum or the child's emotion is only aggravated It is not resolved. It is possible that your children get scared of your voice and become silent but it does not mean that you managed the tantrum The best way is Calm yourself. and in the room or wherever you are Sit quietly until the child calms down If you were talking to the child at that time Then speak in a soft tone. You can say such things to the child that I can understand that you are worried or you are not happy or are you upset Take your time, calm down And then tell the mother what the problem is Things like these really help to calm down the entire situation It works a lot with me and Kabir If Kabir throws a tantrum then my first reaction is that I become silent and by remaining silent He understands that the mother does not like It takes him 5 to 10 minutes. and then he himself starts speaking This works very well for me. The second tip is Ignore and space out Some tantrums are so intense that you know it's a forced tantrum Your child is not like this. He is reacting this way He is asking for something. Otherwise he does not need it So it was best at that time. to ignore the tantrum Your response, the child's response then your response, then the child's response It only makes the situation worse of the tantrum Ignoring does not mean that you go out of the room Ignoring means you do not respond to that tantrum. Keep doing whatever you are doing and space out Children are also humans. Just like we need space Children also need space. Let them set aside their emotions. and anger Sometimes it happens with us when we are worried or we are reacting We fought with our partner. We fought with our best friend. So we want to leave for a while and then we calm down That's exactly how kids also want space. at certain times The third tip that works with many parents Is it time out? To give time out, you have to understand it a little sensitively. Time out is a situation where you tell the child that you are in the most boring corner of a room where there are no distractions You make the child sit there. And tell him to sit here for 5 to 10 minutes. Calm down Think about the problem and once you're okay We will talk to each other and figure it out. In those 5 to 10 minutes that you are giving time out You don't have to interact with your child You proceed with your work. or whatever you're doing It doesn't mean that you start laughing. because that doesn't go very well with the child Stay calm at that time and let the child calm down as well Time out is considered a very effective way to teach self-soothing or self-soothing for children In the future, kids will have to soothe themselves That's why giving them a space where they can think calm themselves and come out of it If we can do it from the beginning Then it is very good. But you don't have to give too much time to it The next tip which helps us a lot And I see it all the time in the relationship between Sourav and Kabir Hug, Empathize, and Talk Later These are the three things The first thing is You saw the tantrum. or outburst You didn't say anything. You didn't react You just gave him a hug. or you place your hand on his shoulder and said it was okay That's it. Sometimes kids just need to hear this. and they don't want anything and it helps them calm down The second thing is Empathize Empathize means instead of saying Why are you doing this? There's no need to do all this. We say I understand. You're upset. It's okay. You know words or sentences which tell the child that you understand him That is normal. That is an emotion. which comes in both you and him That works very well with children. and then talk afterwards Many times in a tantrum We try to solve the problem. right now That's not required. Give space Give a moment in the day when you and your child are in the zone where you're cuddling and you are spending that time with your child and then talk about it As I have seen with Kabir The time at night Before bedtime he has to Spend half an hour on the bed At that time there is no TV, no distractions The lights are off, and that is our story time. or talk time At that time when we talk to him anything that happened during the day that he didn't like or that we didn't like His responses are such which enable us to understand Why did it happen? So find the time when you can talk to your child It can be more than a walk It can be when you go to the park It can be when you're just sitting and relaxing or during bedtime. The next tip is Don't use too much You must have seen many times the thing for which you say no. They insist on that. It isn't fulfilled and turns into a tantrum. You know one of the things which I am learning with Kabir He is studying Montessori. One thing we are being taught Before saying no to a child You should think ten times. Don't say no to a child until they are doing something which can physically or mentally harm them or someone else Don't say no to them Their age is an age of exploring Their level of curiosity is very high. Let them explore Let them take the feeler of things Let them do things so that they come to know. the cause and effect of it If you keep saying no to protect them every time Their mind becomes confused. That's why they're saying no to me and the more they want to do it and that's when they get into a conflict with you The next tip is Don't give in to a tantrum The easiest way to handle a tantrum for most people is The child said, "I want to go to the grocery store." and eat this toffee The child started crying. We said, let's go home and get it brushed. We want to eat ice cream. I am telling you very simple things But mostly especially adults Say, give it to them. But here we teach the child when you cry You will get things. And this is how children learn. that there is a way to get something that you throw this kind of tantrum This style will work with daddy. This style will work with mom. This style will work with grandma. and they react in the same way and get their things which we think they are throwing a tantrum The next tip which you must have seen a lot of adults is to distract This often works. and people do the most distraction when they are in the outside environment because we are under social pressure The child is having a tantrum in the grocery store. You have gone to a party. The child has started crying a lot. The immediate reaction is to distract him. Take him out for a while Change the environment Hold a toffee in his hand Take him for a car ride Guys, this works So it's okay if you're doing this But don't do it too much The ultimate goal of parents should be to understand why the tantrum is happening and have a good time to make the child understand How can he handle his emotions better? The next tip is Now you must be thinking How can this be? Definitely it can be Many parents See the pattern of their children when they throw a fit This will trigger the tantrum. For example If you have left your child's favorite toys outside and the other kids will come and play with the toys Then your child will have a problem. So parents keep the toys inside so that there is no problem Or you know that my child gets very irritable in the afternoon So whatever I am doing in the afternoon I should do it in the early morning. so that I am with the child in the afternoon and he doesn't get the chance to throw a tantrum You know very basic examples, these are But by understanding your child's behavior you can actually plan for that tantrum not to happen at all So guys, these are the solutions. which will help you manage temper tantrums These are the solutions which we experienced with our child and we are sharing with you But it is possible that It doesn't work in your case. because every child is different Every parent has a different personality. So keep looking for innovative ways And don't give up Sometimes one thing we try doesn't work. but next time that thing works So as parents, it is our responsibility that this phase of temper tantrums which looks like a long phase when kids are throwing but eventually fades from every parent's life We should remove this phase with patience. I will deliver a very important message. that in this phase You will lose your temper. You will lose control. You will think that I am not like this What is happening to me? Please never raise your hand at the child. Never lock the child in the dark room Many parents do this. Lock the child in the bathroom. This can really, really deeply affect their mental health Don't bully the child The way you will react today will lay a foundation for the child about how to resolve conflict and how to manage his own emotions in the future Many parents ask me Have you shouted at Kabir? Have you raised your hand against Kabir? We have never shouted at or raised our hand against Kabir. By using all these methods We definitely tried to handle the situations. and those situations were always handled Sometimes it took a long time. But that's okay That's what parenthood is all about. I hope you liked both videos. If you liked them, then please hit the like button. Keep doing your research You will receive new methods. and your parenting journey will become easier It's a beautiful journey, guys. Don't get stuck on this phase Otherwise, you will harm your child. and yourself So with that, I will sign off from this video. Please subscribe Hit the bell icon Like the video Comment and share your experience Follow us on social media Instagram, Facebook, Twitter Thank you, goodbye