My Daughter Wastes Money On Coffee (And I Don't Like It)

If your private student loans are in default, you're not out of options. Go to whyrefi.com slash Ramsey. How can I help my adult daughter understand how much money she is wasting on specialty coffee? Oh, you're not going to like my answer. Well, she is graduating from college in 30 days, and I know that it won't be our place to offer financial advice unless asked after that. But for the next 30 days, we'd like to give whatever advice we can. I mean, it's too late. Four years she's been in college buying Starbucks and you didn't say nothing. No. I mean, in 30 days, you want to fix four years of damage? No, I mean. Damage? It's just Starbucks. I know. It's such a bad habit financially. Well, does she have the money? Is this lady, what's she graduating in? She'll have a degree in landscape architecture. Okay. Oh, great. And is she a good person? Is she of good character? She's a great person. She's smart. She's incredibly talented. Her only sin is specialty coffee? I mean, it's not a sin. It's just that she's going to be starting her independent financial life, and I don't think she realizes. I think she will realize it though. Yeah, when she starts writing a check. Yeah, she'll start to feel it. Yeah, when she looks down and sees her Starbucks bill, she's going to go, Oh my, this is wild. Yeah. Yeah. These days you don't look down at the, at every expense. No, no, no. But if it shows up in her budget, okay. So this is fun. It's a cute, you're fine. You're fine. But you, cause you know that you can't do anything about this is the bottom line. And you're right. And I personally wouldn't bring up the coffee ever again, if I were you, but what I would do is say this, I would say, Hey, you're getting ready to graduate. And, um, one of the things I wish we had taught, I've done a better job teaching you during the last four years was to do a detailed written budget. And, um, so as you do, as you come out, I really want you to pick up this every dollar app it's free and start doing a detailed written budget for your sake. And I wish I'd done a better job making sure you did that all along, but I didn't. And so it's my last parting advice. Here's what will happen when she does that Sarah, that budget will the categories in a budget when you actually do it and actually live on it. If you can get somebody to do that, the categories yell at you and the specialty coffee will yell at her and go, I just spent 300 bucks this month on coffee. This is crazy. And the numbers will just yell at you. They, they, if you're doing it, and if she doesn't, she's going to be getting a starting salary somewhere. And she's going to have to learn how to live on her salary. And so I think, I think through trial and error, Sarah, she's going to learn, okay, I can't eat at such and such restaurants weekly. I have to cut that back. Gosh, this coffee is like, I'm spending so much here. I got to probably pull back here. Like, I think it's going to be some, some trial and error or Sarah, God forbid she has the money for her specialty coffee. And that's what she wants to do. And if it's not illegal or immoral, there's a value system there, right? Like there's things people spend money on that. I roll my eyes at, um, like two-year-old birthday parties that look like wedding receptions. I'm like, why would you, why, why? You know, I roll my eyes at that, but it's not wrong that people do that if they have the money and it's not your money and it's not my money. Uh, you know, people look at people buying cars. Like I would never spend X on a car, but if you have the money, like that's what, that's what they want to spend their money on. So there is a point that it's going to be what she values. I think if you have a daughter graduating from college and she is a great person and the biggest flaw you can find in her is this. I would just step back and say, thank you, Jesus, and say nothing and say, I did a great job. I have a great daughter. And if she spends some money on coffee, I don't agree with, so what? Um, I would just step back from this and let it go. I would encourage a budget because a budget will point out to any one of you, anybody doing a budget, but the numbers yell at you. They go, this is smart. This is dumb. And to your point, Sarah, what, what your, your opportunity costs of where money can go, right? So even just throwing in a coffee a day in an investment calculator and just see what that would cost you. Right. And again, not like you'll never going to not buy coffee, but you start to see where your money has power and where you can use it wisely. But again, um, buying coffees, you know, if that's what she wants to do, that's fine. But I saw this question come up on the screen earlier and it took me back and you've never heard this story, but my grandparents were in the great depression, of course, and they used the coffee grounds three days over and over. They would reuse them in a percolator. Okay. They put them in a percolator, make a pot of coffee the next day, left them in there, make a pot of coffee. And every time you do that, it's weaker and weaker. By the third day, is it even coffee? The third day, this, this is hilarious. The third day it was so weak and so tepid that they called it coffee tea. It was not real. I mean, it was just nasty. Just water. But, and so when your mother and I get married and we use fresh grounds every morning, they felt like, uh, about us, like Sarah feels about her daughter. How wasteful you are. How wasteful we are because we make fresh coffee every single day and didn't reuse the grounds and have coffee tea the third day. Yeah. Yeah. But in that, that's so funny. It's just a perspective. It's a perspective, right? Yeah, it is. It's just, but I, I mean, I wasn't raised in the great depression and, um, Sarah's daughter was raised in Portland, Oregon, which is kind of the home of specialty coffee. One of the homes of specialty coffees. Yeah. Yeah. And so, um, it's a coffee town for sure. And, uh, uh, you know, it's, yeah, that's interesting, but what a great discussion. It's funny. That's great. Yeah. I will say this though. I want to go back to that other thing on every dollar. Everyone start doing your written budget, your detailed budget, because I will say it again, money, the numbers will, if you actually look down at it, you will feel stupid when you're doing something stupid. I mean, the numbers will just look at you and go, that's stupid. The numbers will go, that's why, you know, and when you start chunking money over, like in your emergency fund, when you're working on baby step three and you see that growing or you're chunking money on the debts and you see the debts start to go away, the numbers will tell you and you'll start to feel good about yourself. The numbers will say you're smart, you're smart, you're smart, you're smart. And that thing talks to you. It really does. It talks to you and it tells you, you know, you're acting like a child or you're acting like an adult. And that's silly to spend that. And I, you know, I remember one time I sat down in a financial peace university group and this guy a hundred years ago, and this guy says, I figured out when we did our first month's budget, while we don't have anything in retirement, we're spending $1,200 a month on eating out just on restaurants. And this was back in the day, that'd be like $2,000 a month or $3,000 a month now on restaurants, right? He goes, I figured out why we don't have a retirement. We've been eating it, you know, and the numbers are telling you, they're looking at you going, you're dumb. This is dumb. You're consuming all of this money and you're not doing any investments. You're not doing any generosity. And the numbers, if you can get her to do a budget, Sarah, if her specialty coffee is out of line as a percentage of her overall income and world, it will speak up for itself and tell her. And you will never have to say it because I don't think you're going to do any good saying it by the way. No, I agree. Yeah, she's going to say, none of your mom, none of your business, mom. Mom, what are you talking about? Hey, mom. No, in the budget too, the reframing of, you know, having your money work for you, like that is such a big mindset shift for people to say, what can I, this money is here for me to use as a tool to create a life that I love. What do I do with this to create a life that I love? And stability and peace gives you some of that. It gives you a life you love. And that's the investing and the generosity. You're doing the basic things and making sure that those things are covered. And then anything above that, then you're able to say, okay, what do I want to use this for? And if she wants to do a lot coffee in there, that's great. If that's her luxury item. But yeah, but making sure that, again, that it's in a perspective and in a reality of her overall budget that makes sense. Yeah, that's fun. Good call, Sarah. That's interesting. YREFI refinances defaulted private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn more at Y-R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey.