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I was wondering if it would be smart for me to move three hours away from where I live now to
move in with my boyfriend so that I can build up a clientele where he's at and build my own salon.
No. No. What's one thing got to do with the other?
What's moving away got to do with building the salon?
So the area that I'm in right now there's not as high of a demand because there are so many
salons over here and I also don't have the greatest relationship with my family.
Okay.
So I would rather be around people that want to be around me.
Sure.
Such as his family and him and he has also said that he would help me
build what I am wanting to build if it's over there.
Okay. So what kind of a salon are we talking about? Hair?
No. Nails. I do nails.
Okay.
I love the idea of you going someplace where you can have the business that you want to have.
I love the idea of you exiting what might be a kind of a
toxic relational environment with your family. I think that's all great.
And if you've identified the right place to do that, I think that's fabulous.
What I don't like is you tying up your business,
your prosperity with someone that you're not married to.
Because what happens if this guy turns out to not be the guy that you marry?
Well, now you're tied to him economically, which means if this starts going south,
but your business is doing well, you might be less likely to end that
relationship because you're economically tied up in it.
Or, yeah. Or worse than that, your nail salon takes off really, really slow.
And so you become financially dependent on a guy you're not married to.
And he's now controlling the whole thing.
Yeah.
Really not a good thing for you, my little sister.
I want you to be a standalone woman with square shoulders and a strong backbone.
So we were planning in about a year at a year and a half, we are going to get married.
Great.
How long have you been dating?
A little bit over a year and a half.
Okay. How old are you two?
I'm 19 and he's 20.
And your nail salon clientele is going to be
working in a salon with someone else and they have the rent and they bring you in and you
work for them, but you build up a client base or you're wanting to start a salon at 19 years old
in a strange location where, you know, no one from scratch and build a whole business.
Which one are you saying?
So I have a job lined up there for whenever I am out of school and I am licensed, which will be
around two months from now.
And I was going to work there for two to three years and then hopefully save up enough money
to open up my salon on my own.
Good. Very good. I like that a lot.
How can we help you solve the problem to where you can go there,
do what you're saying, but do it without living with your boyfriend?
So where I'm stuck at is I'm not, I'm not a hundred percent confident in myself
that I'll be able to run and manage my own salon.
No, you're not. You're, you've got a job.
Yeah.
So go take the job. What does it pay?
Um.
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What does it pay?
Um, so it's really just going to depend on how many clients I get.
Um, I'm pretty sure it's going to be based off of, I'm going to pay rent to rent a chair there
and then probably pay a little bit in commission.
So there's no base pay at all?
Um, no.
Do you have any money saved? Do you have any money to your name?
Um, I do. I work right now. I'm a home healthcare aid for my mom.
I make $11.50 an hour and I have about a thousand saved.
Okay.
Okay. So how are you not going to starve to death
when you go take this job on straight commission with no base pay?
So I was planning on moving over there and before I get licensed,
I'm going to, it really just varies on when I'm going to get licensed.
I was going to start at a different job and then whenever, um, I have enough
saved up to be enough saved up besides my emergency fund to be able to.
I think I know why your parents are problem for you
because they're telling you that this is dumb and you don't want to hear that.
It's not exactly that. I just don't, I've never really had a good relationship with my dad.
Um, my mom fully supports me.
I just think you need to get yourself in a better spot before you do this.
This is a nightmare looking for a place to happen.
Okay. Okay.
So you don't have any money and you don't have a job lined up to eat.
And so what a hundred percent the screams is,
you're going to be dependent on this guy that you're not married
to from the first moment you make this decision.
And you don't do that unless you're married. It's not good for you.
You're, it's a dangerous, vulnerable situation for you.
He kicks you out. You know what? You are homeless.
Yeah.
No, I'm not going to let anybody I love do that.
And we love you and we're going to talk you out of it.
And by the way, even if he was the best guy ever,
why would you want to put yourself in that position where you're completely dependent on him?
That's, that's not a great look for you.
If you're married and he, sure, fine.
If you're married and he has an income and he wants to support
the family while you get your first and second job going here
and all that kind of stuff, that's fine.
But if he's not, then we're just playing house.
This is dangerous for you.
And there's no reason for you to put yourself in that position.
I just wouldn't do it.
I don't.
If you, you know, you need a, you need a different set of income,
a different set of savings to protect you,
to allow you to be a standing as a standalone grown woman operating in the,
operating her own home and then be dating this guy or be married to him.
I don't think y'all are wanting to get married right now.
Cause you don't think you're ready.
And I wouldn't disagree with that.
If I were her, I'd probably keep doing what I'm doing and try to get a job
at a local salon, save up as much money as I think,
you know, I need to be able to make that leap and get my own apartment.
And if you need to just have no contact with your family,
but you live in the area where they live, that's fine.
Yeah, sure.
It's not a big deal to set up a boundary.
Just, I'm not going to interact with you people.
You're morons.
I mean, you can just, just, that's fine.
You can do that.
But I want you to have, you know, some safety for you because when you have to
bet everything on someone else that is not legally bound to you,
that is a very dangerous scenario for you.
And we get the call when this 19 year old beautiful Madison is 25 and she's living in her car.
And she calls us because he kicked her out.
Oh, and there's a baby now, but there's no, you know, we can't find baby daddy
cause he's not actually the husband.
And this, this is, this is a guaranteed way to end up
spending the first, the next decade of your life in poverty.
Don't do it, please, honey, please, please, please don't do this to yourself.
Uh, so, uh, okay.
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