Stop Apologizing: Build Resilient Communication for English Breakthroughs

Good morning, everyone. I am jennifer tarle with tarle speech I am excited to be back here today for a youtube live It's been a minute since we have done one of these and so I am super excited about this So today what we're going to do is we are going to talk about canon events We are going to learn how to pronounce that and then we are going to work on some words that may be Canon events in your life. They've been they've happened to many many people If you do have questions, you could go ahead and put those in the chat And I will answer some questions at the end of the day All right So without further ado Let's get started and talk about a canon event recovering from pronunciation mistakes So what is a canon event? I just found out recently that This is a gen z term for an unavoidable defining moment that shapes Who you are? It's often awkward or challenging But it is essential for growth so we've all been there we've all made pronunciation mistakes I am one of those people included it just happened and so What do you do? It kind of feels like a disaster And it's so embarrassing, but let's figure out a way today to take that Mistake and turn it into your advantage to demonstrate your resilience to everyone around you Okay. So again, it's not about the stumble. It's not about that. We all make mistakes, but it's about how You recover. So what do you typically do when you make a pronunciation mistake? I think a lot of people will say like, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. Excuse me. I'm so sorry But how about if we flip that script a little bit and just pause gather our thoughts and then Start again that's going to show people. Yeah, these things happen and we're just going to Keep going. All right. So let's look at some ipa here And let's talk about how do we pronounce canon? event so The Stress is important here So you can look at the phonetic spelling at the bottom or you can look at the little apostrophes That is marking the stress on each Syllable And so we are going to stress syllable number one can And we are going to stress syllable number four vent So it's going to be Canon event so for this you are going to Open your mouth really really wide for that ah sound So i'm working with a person Right now and she struggles with this ah sound So a couple of things Make sure that your mouth is open in a really wide circle ah The back of your tongue needs to be pulled high up. So the back of your tongue is pulled high up The tip of your tongue is low The tip of your tongue is low and it needs to be forward in your mouth so it's not ah like that it's ah And you can see the tip of my tongue low there ah If this is a struggle for you, this really helped my student you can think about touching The bottom front teeth now technically you don't have to do that, but that's going to help you get your tongue Into the correct position for that All right. So that's her syllable number one and then I want you to think about schwa schwa Which is quick quick for those next two syllables. Okay, so you want that to be reduced Meaning it's quicker. It's shorter. It's lower. It's softer All of those things we want it to be just less emphasized So a mistake that I hear with a lot of people is that they get the stress And the stress is sounding great. You're stressing a syllable, but don't forget then the other syllables Need to be less stressed so you're going to reduce that And make that less stressed. Okay, so let's give this a try a few times. I will say it just listen And then we'll do repeat after me And then i'm going to have you just try it on your own. Okay, so just listen Cannon event cannon event Cannon event cannon event Cannon event now repeat after me cannon event cannon event All right Now I do have a video On the word canon and canon, so these words are homophones And they are pronounced exactly the same way and so You can check out that video To learn how to pronounce canon And let me get you the link and I will actually put this in the chat for you So if you're listening to this as a podcast You can or a replay You can go to youtube at tarle speech and you will have all of those clickable Links and so that is the video for and let me put the actual title in here Okay There you go and I'm going to Put that all together. So you have that Okay All right So if you make a mistake What do you do? Of course, you're probably going to feel a little embarrassed. That's normal but Once you sort of embrace it and you learn kind of how to like reset a bit You won't feel as stuck. You will feel a little more confident. So again, I know that i'm speaking From the standpoint of someone who speaks english as their native language, but you do just have to keep going um right now I am studying japanese and I make so so many mistakes but I have learned and my teacher is so amazing because She just lets it happen. I fix it and then I Move on so here is a great strategy If you're really really stuck and you kind of like have that deer in the headlights look. Oh, that's a good phrase deer in the headlights Around where I live in pennsylvania. We have a lot of deer the cute little animals Yes, lots and lots of them and they're a problem because they get into the middle of the road at night And when your headlights from your car the lights on your car hit them they freeze And they don't do anything. And so that's what we want to avoid We want to avoid that deer in the headlights look where they stop and they kind of go like this We're going to embrace the moment We are going to pause You're going to take a deep breath and Relax, this is key when you have something that happens and a lot of times You will just feel like so Just you know upset about it um Don't worry. Just relax relax the stress And don't tense up your mouth. Okay, just relax everything And then you are going to repeat but this time slower And then just move on Okay, so we're going to think about pause breathe and relax And repeat, okay, so i'm going through I make a mistake i'm going to stop Take a deep breath relax. I'm exaggerating of course, and then you will just repeat And you will continue so that's what we're going to do is just pause Breathe and repeat. Okay, so That's everyone just take a pause Now take a deep breath and relax everything Don't forget Relax those shoulders. I have so many people that will be able to Relax their face relax their mouth, but then their shoulders are up here so you still have this tension that is like creeping in so just Relax everything And then you are going to repeat slower And then keep going And go on your merry way All right, so I thought this was really interesting when I was preparing for this That a one second pause is long enough to reset your mouth and your brain But it's short enough That your audience only perceives it as a thoughtful transition So that's really interesting one second May feel like a lifetime When you are in that moment, but most people Don't perceive it as that they perceive it as just a thoughtful transition I think this is important to kind of stop and think about Is that oftentimes? We think that things are way worse than they actually are and so again Just always remind yourself that most people in the room Are not thinking that this is the end of the world like you are People will be just thinking that oh that one second you are just taking that to like recenter yourself and to recenter your thoughts And then you are going to move on and that is a very thoughtful thing to do for your audience So kind of keep that perception in mind And if you're still not believing me, here we go um, I have a little more data for you, so If you apologize As you're recovering say oh my gosh, i'm so sorry Then people think that you made a smooth recovery Like 45 of the time they're going to think that that is like a confident smooth recovery But if you do that reset that we just talked about which is you're going to pause relax And then start again slowly Then the research suggests that audiences rate speakers higher on leadership When they correct themselves without over apologizing And that is a 92 percent confidence rating So again, it's not the mistake It's how you react to that mistake and how you recover and I use this line In my classes all the time and as all of you probably know I was a speech pathologist practicing for like 30 years And I would always say especially to the kids that I worked with. Oh my gosh. That's the most amazing mistake Let's learn from that. And so try to reframe your mistakes as that Wow, this is a great mistake. I'm going to learn from this and chances are once you make a mistake You are not going to make that mistake Again, okay. So let me stop sharing this screen and let's move on to Looking at some mistakes that may be a canon event in your life and if they haven't been then this might be one of those events because these are my embarrassing mistake lessons and I want everyone to Think about my channel Not just as something where you're going to be learning a new word or something every week But use it as a way to go back And to practice. All right, so let's make this bigger All right So here are my embarrassing mistake playlist lessons I have a lot of them as you can see if you have more go ahead and put those in the chat, please because You are not the only one who has made these mistakes Um, these are common And again, they can be embarrassing But you can also just take that as a canon event and move on and in some cases like even Laugh about it with people All right. So the number one Most viewed video of embarrassing mistakes Is the word coke And this is the drink coke or coca-cola So in english we have this very long O vowel and our mouth moves more for this vowel than it does in many other languages for the o sound So think about moving your mouth. Oh And making that sound longer and that is going to Fix that mistake. You can watch the video if you want to hear the embarrassing mistake We're just going to talk about how you pronounce these words today Okay, another embarrassing mistake is the number six so interestingly i've gotten a few comments on this video that um six and then the mistake sex are actually um It's an actual Use of the word that they're sort of the same pronounce the same in some other places So just know that in america We pronounce those words differently and the word six Is going to have a more closed mouth and the tip of your tongue is going to be high And behind your top teeth, but it is not touching six six All right Next We have the word health. This is not super embarrassing But it could be embarrassing especially like maybe if you're a doctor or a nurse or something and For this it is about that th sound health Okay, so that is the th sound where you really want to stick the tongue out of the mouth And keep the air moving over the tongue health health All right number four Sheet. All right, so I have number four and number seven And I think I actually have one more No, maybe that's it. Uh, yeah, that's it. So number four And number seven are both the word sheet, so I always say Think about loving a sheet of paper so much that it makes you smile Because when you smile your mouth will be nice and tense The tip of your tongue will be really high and flat in the mouth and then make that vowel really long sheet I think all of you know the mistake here would be ---- and if you look at the difference there sheet Shit, I am smiling. My cheeks are tense Everything is kind of engaged and tense that makes my tongue go nice and high In my mouth and so that mistake is mistake number four sheet Okay next up We have the word teeth again We are talking about that long e Sound in t t All right Now let's go on to number six here because number four five and six Are about that long e sound so Smile for these Nice and high and flat e So let's practice the words we have sheet sheet t and beach beach Okay, one more time. We're going to try each of those sheet t beach Awesome. Okay. How did you do everyone? All right We are let's do number Um seven here because we have a couple of mistakes in this lesson. So yes, I talk about sheet and seat But here's the other mistake the first sound in the word. So is it seat or Is it? sheet versus ---- and Sit Okay, so the sh sound you have rounded lips And for the s sound you have more smiling lips So if we're doing those long vowels again For that long e since I feel like this is the practice we're getting into today. We are going to say seat and then sheet seat sheet seat and sheet Okay Very very good Yeah Beach is a little bit harder to say someone just put this in the chat And the reason is is because your lips close for that b sound And so for a lot of people it's really difficult to move from that sound to wide Open for that long e so I say break the word apart Okay, we're going to break it into two things. Let's try the word be Be and i'll put that in the chat be Okay Now let's try the word each Okay, when you watch me say these for the b b I'm kind of going from my lips being a little more forward to pulled back Same thing for that e but in reverse for the each rather i'm going to go each So i'm doing each So think about your lips for that right you want to move your lips more to make sure you pull your lips Back if you pull your lips back enough and you get your cheeks engaged That is going to help you avoid that if sound so just watch the long e And then the short if so if you're saying the word Beach and you don't move your lips as much you can even hear with me It's a little bit closer to that short. I sound to really move those lips for that Beach Beach, okay. So let's try that one more time b b b each each each beach Okay. Awesome. All right next up number eight. We have the word as And this mistake is because many people say ass with an s Yes, this word is spelled with an s But we actually use the letter z found we're going to say as In connected speech, which means in a sentence in conversation. We oftentimes don't use the Ah, we'll use more of an uh But what is going to be in common is that we are still going to use that z sound as as as okay We're gonna do three more three more. I just said two three more. I used my canon event. I used my um repair there I just kind of kept going reset and kept going so I have the word next Fork you eat with a fork all of my food service people out there Let's practice this one Again, this is about moving the mouth more or Many people who make a mistake with this word say uh, uh, uh That is not what you're asking for you are asking for a fork Fork So move your mouth I have many classes i've done a lot of podcast episodes on this And I talk about it a lot in my lesson one great trick for improving your pronunciation immediately Is to think about moving your mouth more even if you don't know what you're doing Even if you're just making it up as you go along and not applying any like actual sound rules. It doesn't matter It makes you sound better Immediately so move Your mouth more and that is going to fix a lot of mistakes Okay number 10 we have the word other And that is with that voiced th sound so for that voiced th Your tongue has to be out of your mouth so that air can move over the top of your tongue You can see I have a little cup in my mouth If you have people who in your life who are born and raised as a native english speaker they may touch Their tongue to the teeth, but it's more on the sides So if you are not one of those people and you usually say a d Because you're touching your teeth think about leaving space so that you can do uh there uh There you can see my tongue is out and then I pull it in as I make that th sound there other other other The mistake I hear is the word utter Um, this is not a very common word. So you might not know what that is, but it is actually The part of a girl cow where we get the milk. So where you milk the cow that is the utter So we are trying to say the word other not utter All right, and the last Mistake that we are going to do for today before we wrap up is the word focus I think the reason this video is not number one is because most people don't know they make this mistake. So many many many most people that I work with actually make this mistake and they have No idea. This is now one of the first words that I work on with all of my students because this one is an embarrassing one so the word is focus We're on number 12 here. I'll bring it to the top I'm, sorry number 11 focus focus focus Okay This is a couple of things we're going to be working on long vowel in the o So you want to really move your mouth And you want to make that vowel long? And you want to make sure that you stress that syllable that means it is going to be louder longer higher in pitch Syllable number two will be shorter softer and lower in pitch. So we have focus focus Focus focus focus focus Okay, everybody That is all that I have for today. So just a quick recap If you make a mistake, let's use it as a candid event. Let's up your Ability to correct and to not let these things Just stop you and your tracks making you a deer in the headlights. You are going to quickly pause About one second take a deep breath relax everything and then start again slowly that is going to really help you just kind of own the situation and people are going to think that you are very very confident because you just Fixed the mistake and you move on Sorry, I got a little distracted there. I was looking at the chat. Okay, so Let's look at questions everyone. All right two words Appalachia and Appalachian I also hear Appalachian Appalachian um, so Again, I hate to say one is correct. One isn't there's variations regionally in the u.s. So you can say Appalachia or Appalachia and then Appalachian I don't think I hear Appalachian. Maybe I do. Yeah, so you can say that too. So Appa, i'll teach you how I say it Appa Laysha Appalachia and then Appalachian The Appalachian mountains and Appalachia. So I think my husband is on the call. Do you say that differently at all? I'm not sure Again i'm from western pennsylvania We sometimes say words that are slightly different than other areas Of the country and so every once in a while for like a word that i'm not 100 sure about Um, I have to ask someone else and i'll do a quick um Chat gpt on that one for you as well to see what they say All right. Does anyone else have? any other questions Okay, oh voucher and Vulture, okay. We'll get to that next. Okay. So according to um The ai it's appa lay Chun or Appalachian so I was correct you can pronounce that either way Um, and my husband says that's there's no other way to pronounce it, thank you rob um again, I get a little confused on that and then Let me do Appalachia as well Yeah Same with that. So lay or latch Okay so for Voucher And vol Chur, all right So the ending is going to be the same chur chur chur So you're going to touch? The tip of the tongue to the back of the top front teeth where you say a t to start that ch sound And then you have the ur square tense lips tip of the tongue down or flipped back. Okay chur now for vow Chur, which is v-o-u-c-h-e-r move your mouth for the ow Ow ow vow chur for Vulture You need an l in there. So you have a couple of ways to do this So if it's really difficult for you and you really want to say vulture instead of voucher Think about really hitting the teeth for that l vol chur vol chur You can also say vulture Where your tongue gets kind of close for that l but doesn't touch the whole way. That's a dark l either is fine But the big key here is move your mouth more for that. Ow vow chur And then it's going to be more up and down movement with the tongue for that l for vol chur Okay, I hope that helps Okay for the word um Appalachia Appalachia, let me put in the phonetic spellings for you So i'm just using what came up here Okay and I have one more. Hold on one second Okay And then here is the spelling of the word Okay, I think I put those in the wrong order, but you you get the idea. Okay All right, everyone. Well, we are out of time for today I just want to thank you all for being here. Thank you all for Watching all of my videos for all of your kind comments I see a lot of you in the chat who regularly comment on my videos and I Really really appreciate it. I really appreciate you sharing with your friends and Check out all of these embarrassing mistake lessons They are super helpful and it is going to allow you to Practice and to avoid a canon event of your own, but just remember you make a mistake. That's okay Just take a quick pause Reset and then try it again a little slower and a little more precisely So you are all the best. Have an amazing day, and i'll see you all again soon