Ranking PIXAR friendships from 1 to 10 (They're all 10s)

Thatta girl! Now you're getting it! That is a friendship almost born out of need. We can keep working on that when we get back, okay? In real life, we need each other to fill in the gaps, where one is weak, the other is strong, and vice versa, and together we're better. Whatever else is going on in therapy, the person in front of me needs to know that they are seen, safe, and loved. True. And you look amazing! And sometimes a friend helps you get out of a jam, and sometimes a friend just makes sure you don't go through what you're going through alone. I don't want to hold your... okay. We're gonna slide into the fire. Okay. Hello and welcome to Cinema Therapy. I'm Alan Seawright, a professional filmmaker who needs therapy. That is... Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist who loves movies. And what are we doing today? I would like to have you rank some things, as you often do. I just have this image of, like, Mortal Kombat, like, friendship. Friendship? Yes, we're gonna be ranking friendships from Mortal Kombat. Which one is the best way to murder your friend? So, friendships from Pixar movies. Okay, who are we looking at? Alright, in no particular, but definitely chronological order, Woody and Buzz from Toy Story. Okay. Lightning and Mater from Cars. Okay. Joy and Sadness from Inside Out. Luca and Alberto from Luca. And May and Crew from Turning Red. Because they're kind of just a unit. Okay. How about no? Huh? What? What the hell is going on? They're all too good. I can't rank them. So, how about we just do, like, what we can learn about healthy friendships from them instead? Appreciating friendships. Lesson number one. Don't change things last minute on your buddy. But I did. Because I'm a crap friend. I wouldn't say crap. I would say you're working on it. Mediocre. Anyways, we're gonna start with Joy and Sadness from Inside Out. Recognizing each other's mutual streaks and trusting in the other person. Alrighty. Her teacher hasn't even seen Riley all day. What? What was she wearing last? Do you even remember what... Riley. Oh, we were worried sick. Where have you been? It's so late. Wait a second. Are we gonna do this again? I don't know if I can handle it. We have a freaking time. Oh, crap. But I love... Before, Joy didn't want to sacrifice these memories to have them tainted by sadness, right? Like... Yeah. These are the core memories. This is literally Joy's entire job is to make sure that Riley is a happy girl. Yeah. What's so poignant about this scene is not just that Joy trusts Sadness with this. And that's what's needed. But what's gonna happen here in a second when Sadness does it back. Because when Riley's being loved by her parents and comforted by her parents and experiencing empathy in her sadness, wouldn't you know it? That's Joy. And I am gonna talk through this scene because I don't feel like being a wreck again, honestly. You've done this too many times. If you want to watch us be a wreck to this scene, go watch the original Instant Out video. Yep. Oh, crap. It'll still happen. Is that happiness is a fleeting physiological response. Right. You know, it's not even a true emotion. It's just kind of like something that happens when you experience pleasure, things go your way. Joy is so deep and profound. And Joy needs Sadness to even exist. Right. You can't have one without the other. We experience Joy because the greatest love comes from the greatest sorrow. And so as far as friendships are concerned, just like those emotions need each other in our psyche. In real life, we need each other to fill in the gaps where one is weak, the other is strong and vice versa. And together, we're better. And together, your strengths may never fully be my strengths, but I can get a little bit of Alan. You know, get a little bit of the Alan dust as I observe and I become more like you and vice versa. And that's powerful. That is a relationship where you nailed it. It's a friendship, but it's a friendship almost born out of need, right? They have gaps in each other that they need to fill for the purpose of, you know, the story and being emotions in Riley's head. But there are friendships like that in real life. Yeah. We often, at least in American culture, try to sort of put every necessary relationship we have into like a romantic relationship. Like you can find your spouse and that person will be your best friend and your romantic partner and your co-parent. And it's like this whole list of things. You complete me. That doesn't work for everybody, right? You can have a very, very good romantic and co-parenting and, you know, a strong friendship relationship. But there may be parts of friendship where you just need a friend to fill a different part of you. Yeah. And those kinds of friendships, and this is a workplace friendship. They work together in the control room. I've had those types of friendships in workplaces before where I really feel not just like a working relationship where we need each other, but like a strong, really strong emotional bonded relationship with co-workers. And this is how families work as well. Do you need a way to say Silencio Bruno to ads, malware, and more? This episode is sponsored by Surfshark. With Surfshark, you can protect your identity online. So if you happen to be on a secret mission in uncharted cyberspace, you don't have to worry about being seen by prying eyes and then getting captured by the evil Emperor Zurg. You can also use Surfshark to make sure you're not getting charged higher prices for things depending on where you live. Or whether you're a rusty old truck or a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics. You can buy like a Cadillac, spend like a Beamer. Huh? I know, Beamers are more expensive than Cadillacs. I tried! Anyway, you can also use Alternative ID to create an entirely new you online. Like hiding your identity from the townspeople who suspect that you're actually a fish. Yes! You can use Surfshark to protect yourself from spam and identity theft. And fishers. Yeah, I know. I get it. Fishing. With different servers in over 100 locations, it'll help you travel the world virtually. The internet's a highway! We're gonna drive it all night long. Chao! Surfshark has 24-7 customer service, so they'll always be there when you need them. Just like all of these friends! Go to Surfshark.com slash Cinematherapy and use code... Cinematherapy! That's the one! At checkout to get four extra months of Surfshark VPN. Next principle of healthy friendship is Lightning and Mater from Cars. Mm-hmm. And it's about helping stressed friends to let loose and just enjoy themselves. So this is kind of the opposite end of the spectrum. Yeah, we just had a tear-jerking clip. Now we're gonna have some fun. Yep, you're living the dream, Mater boy. Yeah, no, cow tipping seems like a uniquely American thing. And listen, counterpoint. I'm sure there are some, like, fifth-generation farmers who actually know how to do it and get it done. I'm sure there are some who've actually managed to... But you and I sneaking up on a cow is not gonna work. Ain't gonna work. I've tried, baby. I'm not a baby. It says baby. It's a chicken noise. Neither of which exist in this universe. There's no babies and no chickens. Cars is a nightmarish hellscape. With great characters, we're having a good old time tipping tractors. So dumb. Listen, Cars... They know how to time a joke. They really know how to time a joke over there at Pixar Land. And Cars has a lot of clever humor. But not that scene. Not that. And I mean that as a compliment. We are, like, executing stupid humor with perfection. So in our life and in our history, we are celebrating 20 years of friendship this year. In that time, we've both been through a lot of different hardships and stressors. True. And there have been any number of, let's go catch a movie. Let's go choreograph a fight scene, whether or not we actually ever use it. Whoever we ever film it or not. Let's go catch a comedy show. Let's go out to dinner. Let's go do karaoke. That was fun. That was a lot of fun. And the fact is, a little bit of distraction is a beautiful thing. Too much distraction is enabling because you actually have to face things. But the fact is, emotionally, we get so wound up or so overwhelmed that if we're trying to face something, we're not going to be able to because we're not in the headspace for it. Right. We need to figuratively blow off that steam. And that's where a good friend knows, hey, it's time for fun. Yeah, and, you know, Lightning's being a bit of a stick in the mud at the beginning of the scene. By the end of the scene, he's having as much fun as the rest of us because, come on. It's fun. Next, Pixar pal principle. Ooh. Yeah. Trademark. Not us. We can't trademark that. Platonic Pixar pal principle teaching platitudes platonically. I used it twice. It's fine. Anyways, is helping people to face their fears and to try new things. Ride together. You don't sit on the back and hold on to the front, the whole thing falls apart. Oh, and who's holding the ramp? The turtle. It's faster than he looks. Okay, here we go. Freaking COVID. This movie should have been in theaters. Nope. I can't do it. Never in a million years. Hey, hey, hey. I know your problem. You got a Bruno in your head. A Bruno? Yeah. I get one too sometimes. Alberto, you can't. Alberto, you're gonna die. Alberto, don't put that in your mouth. Luca, it's simple. Don't listen to stupid Bruno. Why is his name Bruno? I don't care. It doesn't matter. Call him whatever you want. Shut him up. Say, silencio Bruno. Silencio Bruno. Louder. Silencio Bruno. Can you still hear him? Nope. Just you. Good. Now, hang on. A colander? Andiamo! Silencio Bruno. You know, and sometimes all's well that ends well. And sometimes you're at the hospital with a broken femur. Not the rock. It's pretty slick move though. Woohoo! Yeah! Take that, Bruno! Okay. Okay, I'm gonna counter this. Okay. These are little boys. Sure. And little boys, and I say this with great affection and no disrespect intended because we were little boys once, are stupid as hell. Real dumb. Real, real dumb. You don't hear a lot about, like, little girls trying to parachute off a roof with a pillowcase, you know, hoping that works. Oh, I did it with a plastic bag. Yeah, right? But little boys, we're like, yeah, I bet that'll work. That was the first time I ever sprained an ankle. So, there needs to be a balance. Facing your fears and trying new things, absolutely. But also, hey, how can we actually think this through and not be stupid? Right. I have to say, most of the time when I was growing up, I was not Alberto. I had a friend, Bart, who was my Alberto. I assume you were the Alberto most of the time? Mm-hmm. The problem was, we became friends and neither of us was the Luca. Yeah. We were both just shouting Silencio Bruno at each other constantly and doing all kinds of stupid sh**. In fairness, we did some stunts that we look at now and go, that's pretty cool. I would never try that today. At least not like that. No. I did a little stunt for the movie. I fell down a hill. And what is this hill covered in, Brad? Lots of sharp, sharp rocks. I would never try that today. No. Okay, now we've got Mae and her friends from Turning Red. The principle is support your friends when they're struggling. And what's really impressive is they try everything in the book. Are you a werewolf? No. What? He's a red panda. Sick. You're so fluffy. I wanted a tail. Hurry up, Abby. We're in it. Mae, what the heck happened? It's just some, you know, inconvenient genetic thingy I got from my mom. I mean, it'll go away. Eventually. Maybe. May 18th. They just announced it. The 18th? So physical comfort. There's no way this will be gone by then. Come with me. Mae, it's gonna be okay. I gotta watch this movie again. It's really funny. I'm a freak. Just leave me alone. Which they will not. So we've got beatboxing distraction. But it's really a shared activity. Like, this is something that Mae gets into. It's true. Weirdly, I've had a similar moment with my friends in high school, but it was boys to men. You're never not on my mind. They all have such strong personalities. Thanks, guys. You're the best. We love you, Mae. You're our girl. Yeah, no matter what. Panda or no panda. Aw, total acceptance. Yep. Affirmation. And that's what works. You're you. And you look amazing. Brad looks so good on you. Is it gone? For now. But if I get too excited, it'll come right back. Ow, Abby, what the heck? So, I mean, we see the physical touching, the stroking, the hugging, right? We see the affirmation of we love you just as you are, panda or no panda. Yep. Genuine praise when her hair goes red, and they're like, that's a good look for you. And the encouragement of it's going to be okay, we'll manage this together. And the fact that this helps her to keep the panda in check, that's a very real psychological principle, which is people need unconditional love and support. Abby, hit me. True. This is what Carl Rogers, one of the early pioneers of psychotherapy, his whole thing was unconditional positive regard. Whatever else is going on in therapy, the person in front of me needs to know that they are seen, safe, and loved. We can explore behavior as instead of good or bad, supportive or not supportive. Right. Does this help you become who you want to be or have the life that you want to have or the relationships you want to have? If it doesn't, then let's explore a different avenue. But there's never once the message of you are bad, you are wrong. It's just, is this working? Is it supportive? And that type of unconditional positive regard leads to real change. It greases the wheels in a way that shame and judgment never, ever, ever can. And just a personal plug, if you can find a truly supportive, wonderful, caring friend who is an emotionless deadpan all the time, that is the best friend you can possibly have in your life. Who are you thinking of right now? Priya in the movie, but I have like three of them in my real life. Yeah. One is, you'll be shocked to learn, an accountant. And next, the quintessential Pixar palship, Woody and Buzz. Buzz and Woody from Toy Story. We're keeping it. We're running with it. We're good. You don't have to face things alone. You don't have to. I'm here for you, Buzzy and Woodle. Lots of hug and bear. What a great villain. You're a kid now, Sheriff. Oh, man. It's automatically leveling up from the villains of the first two movies. This is kind of a traumatizing series of images to put into a movie that kids are watching, but also very powerful storytelling. Yeah. I was very surprised watching this in the theater to be like, wow, they're going to kill them. Here's what I really love about this. Not everything can be fixed. Not everything has a solution. You can't make everything go away. And nobody needs to learn this lesson more than Woody. Woody is always, like, never say die. He's always going to try for something. Yeah, we can fix it. We can make it right. And sometimes a friend helps you get out of a jam. And sometimes a friend just makes sure you don't go through what you're going through alone. Yeah. I can't fix it. But I can make sure you know that you're loved. Friends with money. That's who the green men represent. We'll get you out of this. We'll get you out of this problem. What a great payoff. Two movies later. Yeah. Damn you, Pixar. So great all the time. It's so frustrating, because I'm not that good. You are that good. Well, no, you're not Pixar good. You're you good, which is different. No, it's not worse. It's just different. You're not Pixar good. This is why. Here's a sincere compliment. This is why you, Alan Seawright, have fans at Pixar. Because of the good that you put into the world. Because of the way you use your talents to help people. I still don't. That doesn't seem right. Hey. Accept it. Let it in. Stop fighting it. You are loved. I don't want to hold your. Okay. We're going to slide into the fire. Okay. I will work on accepting that compliment. I can't actually do it right now. But what we see with Woody and Buzz is once they actually become friends in the first movie, they are just there for each other time and time again. Anytime things get hard, Woody is there for Buzz. Buzz is there for Woody. In this scene, Buzz has to be there for Woody and let him know that it's okay. That we're going to go through this together. But they've both done that for each other for two and a half films at this point. As the genius Randy Newman once said, you've got a friend in me. You've got a friend in me. So question for you, gentle viewer. What friendships would you like us to highlight on our show, Pixar or otherwise, that we can learn from and emphasize what a healthy relationship looks like? Again, right there. So until next time. To friendship and beyond. That actually... Yeah, now that I say it out loud. Yeah, that sounds a little... And watch movies. Shout out and thank you to our patrons over on Patreon who support this channel. Folks like... Alina Bodryagina. Nice. Jennifer Long. I got the easy one. Omen the Black Cat. Ooh. Sophie Pasternak. And Blackwolf1208. Thanks, patrons. You've got a friend in us.