How to Communicate with Children

We're public speaking all the time. Public speaking is not just reserved for microphones and podiums, because we're engaging with the world all day long. And it doesn't matter who your audience is, they can be big or small, and it doesn't matter what age your audience is. So this week I want to focus on communicating with children. I'm a mother, I have two little boys, they're ages 3 and 5, and sometimes they can be my toughest audience. So I want to share with you some of my techniques to get them to listen to me and do what I have to say. So, here goes. Now, I don't know if you've heard this term, it's called the witching hour. And it's actually witching hours. It sort of exists between 4 and 7 p.m., where there is a lot going on. It's dinner and playing and bath time, bed, books, the whole bit. And it requires a tremendous amount of energy. So I'm a natural multitasker, but I find that if I'm engaging in too many activities at once, especially trying to communicate with my children, a lot gets lost in translation. So my first tip is to actually connect. Meaning stop what you're doing, take a moment away from the kitchen, go in front of your children and say, hey guys, I have to just connect with them. Now, the more that you bring that to the table, the more that they'll hopefully stop what they're doing and listen to you. Now, in order to help them pay even more attention, I want you to get on their level. They're so used to people speaking down to them. And we know just by virtue of the fact that this big, tall person is speaking to a shorter person, you're actually looking down on them. And you want to sort of honor them in a sense by bringing your body to their level and getting really face-to-face. Which leads me to my third tip, which is eye contact. So you're stopping what you're doing, you're walking into their presence, you're making sure that you connect with them by getting on their level and looking them right in the eye. Now, the next step after that is to, so let's say you ask them, hey guys, I wanted to let you know, you're down on their level, that we're going to have dinner in five minutes, and now I need you guys to wash your hands. And then we ask them to repeat it, which is tip number four. So I need you guys to wash your hands, okay? So what did I just ask you? What are you going to do? Two minutes. And they're going to say, wash my hands. Yes. Now the fifth step is to reward them when they actually do what you want them to do. We're reinforcing the good behavior. Believe me, it's exhausting to ask anybody to do something over and over and over and over and over again, and it's frustrating. So if we stop what we're doing, we connect with them, we get on their level, we look them right in the eye, we ask them to repeat what we just asked, and then we reward them when they do a great job, believe me, they will want to do it over and over and over again. Now the key to all of this, sort of the umbrella advice that I have, is to use a sense of humor. Humor is my best friend, because even though inside I may be going, ah, there's so much to do, it's so crazy in my household, if I do it with a sort of lightness and a sense of humor, everybody is just having a better time, and it gets everybody on board much faster than if I were frustrated. I love the idea that you, as a student of public speaking, can practice all the time. You should not be saving your public speaking moments for when it's a big opportunity and, let's say, your career is on the line. This is the greatest opportunity to practice. If you put yourself around children, whether they're your own or somebody else's, it's the best way to really rehearse all of your techniques. So, again, even though they may be a tough audience, they're really behaving the way most people behave. I mean, come on, how many adults that you know are pretty distracted in life? You tell them something and they don't really listen. Now I'm not suggesting that you speak to adults in the exact same manner that you speak with children, but understand that there is a connection. So the more you can practice this in an exaggerated way and not take it personally if they don't actually respond the way that you want, the more training ground you have to do this in life, no matter who you're with. I hope these tips are helpful. I hope you have fabulous children in your world. I'm sure you do. And try this and see what happens. Works for me.