Patrick Melrose Being Iconic

My daddy's got a gun, my daddy's got a gun, my daddy's got a gun You say you wanna start something Iwona, could you please stop fiddling with my hair? I'd have to leave before you start to tell me to seize the ******* day. What's that? Valium. I think I'm gonna give up drugs. You don't think I can? You're now fantastically rich. No. My mummy's the one with all the money and she's very healthy. Goodbye. Oh, for Christ's sake, cheer up. Think happy thoughts. You're here to collect your father's corpse. Beg your pardon, sir? Oh, nothing, just talking to myself. For the best heroine in town, simply call Pierre 555 1726. Patrick! Yes, Nanny? What you need, young man, is a nice walk in the park. I've come to see the corpse. Sorry, can I have a glass of water? Martini, sir? What? ------- believe it. ------- corpse. Oh. Is it Dad? It is. It's just what I wanted. Oh, you were so ******* sad, Dad, man, and now you're trying to make me sad too, boo-hoo. I did need to see a friendly face. Wow. Here come the quaaludes. Patrick? Excuse me. Mr. Melrose. Bye. Will someone be joining you? ------- hell, I hope not. The voices aren't just in my head. I suppose I could trouble you for a quarter for the telephone. ****, ****, ****. So how's Mrs. Willie, Chilly? Is she well? For ****'s sake! I can't talk right now. I'm doing sad boy ----. I ask you, what next? You always wear a strange voice. Is that special? In filthy ways. Don't, don't, don't think about it. What filthy ways? Oh, the stories I could tell. Please, please, please make it stop. Can you hear it? Good. Mom and Dad? I love you, Mommy. Feels good, doesn't it? Yes, it feels so good. I'm gonna **** off. Shoot his ******* brains out. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. **** off! Are you at the hotel? Given that you phoned me here... I really thought you'd be able to make a change. Everything's wrong, everything's hopelessly fucked up! Yes, Marianne told us. Is that him? Hi, Patrick. Hello. If I could have you, I'd give up drugs forever. Goodness! You know, grief. Say something. Debbie sends her love. Not that, you ******* idiot. Sweet. Thank you. I mean... Do you hear that, Dad? I'm gonna be a lawyer! Patrick, I'm concerned about the box. Debbie, I think it counts as hand luggage. No, no. Don't suppose you want to do a quaalude, do you? Shit! How?! Whose horse is that? Life's not just a bag of ----. Leaky one. Don't you find? Patrick, how are you? Oh, fine. I tried to kill myself last night. Hello, and welcome to... My twin's big like Tia. My twin's big like Tia Tamera. Open the door. Do you have any idea how difficult it was to get you invited in the first place? Very grateful. Ah. Better than the psychiatric ward, I suppose. I need a drink. Do you have a drink? A proper drink? No, that's one of the reasons I was on the psychiatric ward. And your mother, she's almost as reclusive as you are. Amazing, isn't it? I thought you'd put all that behind you. Behind me? In front of me? Sit down. I'm sure someone will listen to you. Look, what do you think? Should I go? Er, if you think you're up to it. No, of course I'm not. God, I don't know how you put up with those things. Isn't it full of the most ghastly people? Well, isn't any crowded room? Yes. Okay, you can all join me in the serenity prayer. That cheesed me. Don't you find it hard not to take drugs? Of course. It's a ******* nightmare being lucid. Bloody hell, Bridget. Stay close. Don't go too far away, will you? I won't. Boo. Oh, Christ, I need a drink. No, thank you. Patrick Melrose, I kept hearing you died. Only once or twice. Are you not embarrassed? This is really embarrassing. How do you manage? I have to give up cigarettes, which was quite hard enough. Oh, dear. I am very small. Are you looking for someone? I wanted to meet Princess Margaret. I see. We could always go upstairs. Upstairs, what for? For sex. I suppose that's something to do. Thank you. No, no. I'm very keen. Well, that's completely put me off. I think I prefer to remain friends. **** off, Patrick. All right. Do you think you could leave us alone for just one ******* minute so we can have a conversation? Sorry, sir. Do we look like children? Do we look like we're interested in the ******* fireworks? Excuse me. Hello. Um, I'm sorry if I snapped at you earlier. It's the end of the party. It's more than that. It's the end of an era. Your wife once sold me a horse syringe for $20. It was like this. Daddy. ------- hell. That was a little horse, baby. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Monsieur Melrose. Where's your clothing? Come on. Dad. I dare you not! Which of our mothers is worse, do you think? I think you're shaming us till we keep the house. Sadly not. I'm cheering myself up. You can't steal from her. Well, I can certainly keep the ******* new daughter. Picture his face when he finds out. Oh, dare go to flotation talks. The community should hold a meeting at Kevin and Annette. I'm not part of your ******* community! Oh, God, she's invited Henry. Oh, good. Hello. Best you assume you're always in danger. A rule to live by. The chassis built for him. Frozen! Are you aware of the phrase, children should be seen but not heard? You'd rather not see him either. Jesus Christ. Come on. **** off! You're not really going to live here, are you? I'm trying to think of it as my bachelor bed. Schizoid suicidal alcoholic. How many types of medication do they have here? Three. I know a lot of things, but I don't know about that. I'm not sure why. Dave, are you leaving? Shh. Actually, I'm sorry. I'm trying to... If I have one word of advice, it's this. Henry tripped me. The only time I've ever been happy was on it. But these bastards will kill me. The thing is, I'm trying to not take anything. Don't be ridiculous. I think my mother's death is the best thing to have happened to me since, well, my father's death. An orphan at last. It's what I always dreamed of. Do be bitter about the money. Okay. Lovely venue. Yes, I'm thinking of getting cremated here myself. No need to rush. I was going to wait until I die. I thought I was getting better, but I'm such a ******* mess. Are you going to be all right? Let's find out. I want to support you. Of course, it helps with the pin just around the corner. Wine or champagne? Oh, God. He means no thank you. What the **** is she doing here? Who? Emptied the till, shut the shop, hailed a cab, and I said, take me to the Ritz. And I sat in the balm court. Well done. For what? A public breakdown. No, I'm just having a break.