Francesca & John - The Saddest Ending (Bridgerton S4)

It is quite something to spend your entire life feeling like you are somehow out of place. I suppose entering society means I might meet someone. And you, Miss Francesca? Someone kind. I simply could use some peace. And I am not certain I need to feel butterflies or... And then to meet someone who understands you before you even say a word. I was simply... In need of some quiet. I've been in search of it all night. She does not speak to you. Perhaps we can enjoy the silence together. Someone whose singular qualities match your own. Good day, Lord Kilmartin. Miss Francesca. Whose kindness makes you feel warm. Miss Francesca. Lord Kilmartin. Would you be nauseated by the idea of marriage? I wish to be married. Very much, in fact. If you'll excuse me. So much so that I do not feel much like talking now. Is that not, in fact, our preferred form of communication? All that to say, sometimes I miss what is right in front of me. Don't miss, Francesca. It is only that I wanted to get you this. He had the music we heard earlier this week rearranged exactly as I imagined it. I am not a man of many words. I just hope my husband will not hide my piano store from me. But I do believe in the power of a gesture. I would not dream of it. Her, I saw straight away. Not every attachment must be dramatic and hard fought. I thought that that is what love must be like for everyone. I love him, Herma, but I love Lord Kilmartin. Surprising, forceful, quick. Forgive me, I do not know what is wrong with me. Francesca, there is nothing wrong with you. But you have shown me that there is another way. When we are together, I feel I am traveling closer to you. Beauty in the slow approach. Whatever you wish for in life, I will always endeavor to give it to you. In John's eyes, you need never worry about being an antichrist. The perfect wife, and I know you will be the perfect mother. But I also hope you know that you are just right. As you are. I love you, Francesca. I love you, John Sterling. He is you. He cannot be more secure. Always. I think I should lie down for a nap. Are you feeling well? Only a small headache. May you now live together in holy matrimony until your dying breath. John. You're very shocking. John, wake up. May his spirit find everlasting peace in the heavenly kingdom. I'm so sorry. Quiet, please. I can't believe he is gone. My entire life I have found comfort in silence. The best any of us can do is honor the memories of those we have loved. Francesca, you do not need to be. You are amongst family. If you would like to throw something or scream. Eloise, please. That is not how I wish to proceed. I should like to stay calm. It is quite a cruel twist of fate to lose one's husband at such a tender age. Will you please stop it? I am so sorry, my dear. He would want for us to get up and dance and sing. John does not want anything. Because we have both lost our husbands. We are not the same. He is dead. Gone. John wished for a child and I could not give him one. You have eight children. I had our entire lives planned. And what did I give John? Nothing. Just as you think you are starting to comprehend the melody, the song is over. For days all I could think was how it is not fair. I failed him. I gave him nothing. I have nothing. But above all else, he wanted you. I may ache at present, but a good John bought into my life. That bond, that understanding, love far outweighs any pain I feel right now. Most plain as day to anyone around you, how much joy you brought him. I would not change it for anything. You lit up his entire world.