TRISHA AND JASON'S $70,000 BORA BORA VACATION!!

Starting our Tahiti vacation now and already. Drama amongst Trish and Jason as Trish has forgotten her phone in L.A. And Jason's bag was too big so now he's carrying all his stuff. I'm carrying all my stuff. It's more traumatic. I guess probably you can buy a bag. I don't have my phone. I don't have my mom's phone number. Remember I think that I have my brother's. Jason DM'd her but my mom doesn't check DM's all the time She's too busy thinking about her things she has to do when she goes home. I have faith in her though. I was going to tweet that the other day. I know no one's phone number. I don't know my son's phone number. I know my son's. Can I give you the look that people give me when I'm vlogging as I walk by? That's not the worst look. Good promo for my sister's Instagram though. Calgator143 Give her a follow if you do get in. You don't follow my sister? No. Jason! It's like etiquette. Once you meet someone you gotta follow them. It says follow back meaning she follows you. I don't even check the stuff. Should I ask for her number or should I call you? Have her call me right away. Oh my gosh. What's going on here? What's she doing there? I don't know. Is that a mukbang? Oh yeah she's eating a crab leg. That doesn't look like a crab leg. You're right. And there's my boobs behind her. Oh boy. Your boobs are always behind everything. The life. Trisha's got my phone and I'm like literally dying. I've been gone for nine seconds. Pumped about Gucci main movie progenitor of trap music. I do not know what progenitor means and Trisha does. Trisha why don't you tell the people. No I was like Jason you're... Because you said I'm old. He's too old to know these words so why? I can't clue it. Well yeah you're young and hip. I can't even explain it to someone as old as you. Like I literally can't even explain it. I get some of the new lingo. Tell me what progenitor means. He's the pro originator. Professional originator of rap music. I think you might be right. Yeah. Progenitor. I don't just make it up like you. Progenitor. A person or a thing from which a person, animal or planet is descended or originates. Why do you even question me anymore Jason? Everything just goes perfectly for you doesn't it? You're just got a sweet life. I'm just so smart. We've been fighting because I looked at a bikini picture of Jessica Simpson and Trish got all upset. It wasn't because he was looking at the bikini picture. He went oh. As soon as the bikini picture popped up. I went oh. And he tried to explain to me. Oh she's in a bikini that's why I said it. Oh no. Look at this picture you guys. I hadn't seen her in 20 years. I was like oh she's different. She's different looking. I'm sure if someone saw me and they hadn't seen me in 20 years they'd be like oh. Awful. But you know the people that are around me have slowly seen me go down the tubes. In high school. Everyone called me fat in high school and I literally was like 120 pounds and I look back and I was so skinny. I was like oh. And my whole life even when I was 18 I was really thin and people would be like you're fat, you're fat. And I was like what? Like I get so mad. I'm like god. And then you just eat more because you're depressed and you're like well I'm already fat. And then you just keep eating more. And then you look back at pictures and I'm like oh I'm so skinny. Like why do people call me fat? Right. You were the progenitor. Guys Jessica Simpson posted a selfie without makeup. You have to see this. Oh my god. How brave. I woke up like this. No makeup. Well you could do the same thing. Fake eyelashes, hair extensions, waxed eyebrows, cool lips and a little filler. Babe I'm hungry. I don't want what they cook. I'm not a child. I don't eat cheese pizza. What are you looking for then? Like a good food. I don't know what's going to happen. At the airport? There's some good restaurants in International. Really? Like what? Chili's. Look it up on your phone. Oh right. You don't have one. If you dumped me for David I would be pissed. If you dumped me for Liza I'd write a book and sell it for a zillion dollars. My mom texted me just now and said do you want your phone? No this was at 120 so it's 220 now. At 120 my mom texted do you want your phone? Why didn't you text her back? Yes. Now? Yes. David also said have fun on your honeymoon with the elderly dude. David texted you but not me. I'll give you the $100 in cash right when we get through security. And then guess what? I'll be switching seats. We're going to play that game. Wow maybe I'll just cancel your flight to Bora Bora and leave you in Tahiti. You wouldn't dare. Well we'll see if you switch seats then. So if I switch seats right now and if I say to someone sir would you mind switching with me? And he switches. Canceling your next flight to Bora Bora. You'll leave me in Tahiti. Yeah. Oh wow. And I'll cancel your on the way back. After I gave you $100 in cash. Yeah and you switch seats on me. Because you haven't eaten. You're being nasty. That's the reason. Maybe you should start carrying snacks in your little bag. Hi. Hello. Thank you. Sorry we're late. Have a safe flight. Thank you. Oh my god. It would have been a sign to not go. I thought about that. I'm like if we're not supposed to go we're going to miss a flight. This is the last flight. She said we're fine. I've been shut out of flights. Because I'm like they lock the door and that's it. I'll be happy when we're sitting on the plane. Guys here's our hotel room. Comes with a pretty girl. Oh thanks. There it is. Wow. It's 1026. We slept for 8 hours on the plane. And now we're here in Tahiti. And then tomorrow we're going to Bora Bora. It was a good thing we didn't get any sleep on my birthday actually. Because we both knocked out. I don't think we've ever done that. I've never done that on a plane where I'm like sleeping for 8 hours. Every time I looked over when I would kind of get up I saw you sleeping. Yeah it was pretty great. And here's the beautiful water here. Oh here I can show you down there. Tomorrow will be better. See. I guess you could go a little swimming at night if you wanted. It'd be funny if I dropped my camera in the water. I'll pick my side of the bed first. Before Trisha you know. Let's see which one do I want. Right side or left side. Right side's closer to the bathroom. Which side of the bed do you want? That's our concern. Well the man should sleep next to the door in case an intruder walks in and they get you first. What if they come through the glass though? What? It's the side I wanted anyways. It's close to the TV. I'll take the risk. Again. I don't know. The pretty girl that came to the hotel is still here. I can calm down about that. Like my people would think it's so interesting to see the bathroom but your channel. Why is it in this bathroom? I think people would like to see a bathroom. Not really in the mood to vlog right now guys. Well we're here for seven days so you better get into it. No I'm just vlogging. I'm not out here having a good time. Okay. Here eat some watermelon on camera. People love to see you eat. This would be the worst mukbang ever. Tiny watermelon. How many times do you eat fruit? It's pretty good. It's good. It's sweet. You want me to go? I'll go first. No. Do you think they're sharks? No. Do you think he was kidding last night? I don't know if he was kidding last night or what. I'm worried about that coral. I hope that coral is not too tough on your feet. Maybe we don't want to go in here. Honey I'm scared. Do I go backwards? Yeah. I would walk down like that. Oh it's really warm. How's the bottom? It's a little rough. Is it? Yeah. Is it sharp? Yeah. No it's not sharp. No it's not. Woo! It's weird to be in here by myself. I'm scared of the sharks. I don't see any. Wow. Yeah. It's pretty great. It's like Couples Retreat. Did you ever see that with Vince Vaughn? I did see that movie. They shot it in Bora Bora. Did you know that? They did? Yeah. He was probably like I want to go to Bora Bora. Let's shoot a movie. Did you guys come up with a movie? We're so close to the shore but the Four Seasons Bora Bora you have to take a boat out to. So once you land by plane you take a boat to the Four Seasons. I haven't been able to clear all the files on my card today. I know. Something's going to be a lot. Me too. I got to do the same. Oh that's the pool. Wow. The sky is so crazy. Wow. This is the time to take pictures. 6am. Did it bother you that I ran for 20 minutes? Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. I was sad. We just got here. Why did that bother you? Because we just got into paradise and I was all left alone. Yeah but you don't understand what that does for me. Even like a nice 20 minute run. You don't understand what you being around me does to me. Or what you leaving me does to me. Isn't it better when I come back? Like you're like oh she's back. Isn't the absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm dumb. You don't believe in that. Dumb phrase. A lot of people swear by it. I don't. I'd say most of the world does. I forget people when they leave me for too long. I'm like oh they're forgotten. Don't you want me to be in shape? I don't care either way. You think I'm going to get in shape and then just leave you for some other. Other lady. I'm going to fly get crazy. Well now we're in Bora. We're in. No we're not in Bora Bora. We're in Tahiti. And we're going to Bora Bora in an hour. We can't miss our bus. We keep missing things. Yeah we almost missed our flight yesterday. We always think we have all this time and then it gets close to the time and we're like oh my god we're going to be late. Oh look at the turtles. Can I grab it? Nope. Why? You're not supposed to. Does it say don't grab the turtle? This is going to be my thumbnail. Turtle. Oh it works. Yeah? GoPro. Jason cam here we go. Okay. I got a GoPro. YouTuber 101. Some wild fish out here. Some wild fish. There's some wild fish. There's a guy with a fish tank. And I'm going to stick my hand in it. Move it around. I'm going to go out. I'm going to try this camera out. And probably put some Brazilian music underneath it. If it comes out good. Jason will be there to fall back on because he was smart with his money. Then eventually he'll die before me and I'll just get all his money anyway so. It's true. I got to make it another 30 years with my money and then I can live off Jason's money. I keep buying these Todd bags. Check out this bag I got guys. It's literally a bag Todd would buy. It's a Todd bag. It's also a Nicholas Cage bag. But it's going to be good for the Views tour this summer. Which we will announce very soon. Oh. I got the local cuisine. McDonald's. Yeah. Got chicken nuggets and fries. I was so excited when I saw McDonald's. I'm like yes. I like trying new local stuff but I love McDonald's. I do. I get really excited about it. Friday May 11th which is tomorrow. Our Wave Runner tour at 9am. Jet ski tour around the island of Bora Bora. Then we have massages at 2.45. Couples massages. Which me and Jason have never gotten massages. We both love massages. Jason gets great massages. But I'm excited to get like a Bora Bora chick or dude. Jason requested a chick. I said no. I said I requested a dude for Jason. Did you really? No. Your french fries. Oh you didn't even tell your vlog. Here. Go get the fries. I'll vlog them and come back. You vlog it. Yeah yeah. Go go go. Go babe. Go. Jason was debating on whether or not to get french fries. And you know what? We're on vacation. Life is short. We were just talking about the ying and the yang of a relationship. But he didn't say this on camera. How I'm a spender. He's not. But I convinced him to get that bag. And yet he convinces me to stay. We were going to go get a little wifi box for $150 in there. But we get free wifi at the resort. So I was like why don't we just wait. Take $150 and wait for the resort. So he helps me be more conservative. I help him get out of his shell. Be a little more spending. And also to just enjoy some french fries. Because he's very strict on his diet. Yes. Chicken sandwich. I heard something you're not going to approve of. What is that? Tofu? Well I didn't think it was going to be tofu. I thought it would be like a quinoa patty. What is that? Tofu? Yeah. It looks pretty tofu-y. But you know those fries. Oh my god look at all the ketchup. Are they worth it? Yeah they're good. I think they're great. I love these little crispy ones. Whoa. Is that? Is that Jason Nash? Or is that Tati Smith? I can't even tell. Oh it's Jason Nash actually. That bag. I thought that was a Todd right there. It's a Todd type bag. Wow. I can't even tell the difference between you two. It's a sick bag. As Todd would say, that bag is sick. Is that what he says? He'd probably say that about the bag. Keep walking. Do a little runway walk that way. It doesn't even look like Jason. Oh you almost ran into the plane. Okay. Alright. Well you ruined it now. You were supposed to strut sexy away. How are you feeling about this size plane? Pretty excited. Oh my god. I can't believe we're here either. This is crazy. This feels even further away than Tahiti. When we got here we were like oh my god. I know. Getting further and further away from everyone. We're tired out here. We're tired. We're tired at 40 and just here. Yeah. So guys make sure you subscribe for the next 10 years because after that I'm out. Oh you haven't even been there yet. You gotta go see what it's like. I'm already here. I love it. I wanted to stay right there. Wow this is crazy. Crazy. Can I have some mango juice for you? Oh we love it. And we say Manua which means cheers. Manua. To you. Oh god this is a really good view. Wow that's good. You have a direct flight every day. We stayed in Tahiti last night and it was nice so yeah. Are there like any sharks or anything in these waters? No it's very safe. Do you have some rays? Sting rays or eagle rays? They are afraid of us. Oh got it. So they will never approach us. Got it. So now you can see that is the public beach area. Oh. They have torches on the side as well. Is that on your bucket list? Yes. It was on mine for a long time. Oh my gosh. Wow. Oh my gosh. Wow yes. Would you like us to stop by the terrace? Sure. This will be the reason you are just staying for the whole trip. I love that. Oh my gosh. Be careful with your head. Oh yeah. I'm tripping. You got to be kidding me. Oh that's cool. So cool. This is insane. Oh it's the room temperature. Is it cold enough for you? Yes. Oh yeah it's perfect. It's crazy. What are we going to do now? I think, well whatever you want. There's a scale here. Let's not weigh ourselves. Okay let's not. There's so many robes. I love that. There's like five robes in here. I noticed. There's two robes right here by the bathroom. I'm all about it. Should we like go? Swim? Are you going to look around? Jesus Christ. Is that the phone or the bell? Oh I think it's the bell. I think it's the bell. Coming. I'll be in charge of the key since I'm the man. Hi I'm Jason. I'll be your date tonight at Bora Bora. This is Fantasy Island. Oh you're good. Have you ever seen it? Do you remember Fantasy Island? You're too young. Never saw it. No I know what it is. I just never saw it. It's this really weird show that was on after the love boat. You've got to be careful for what you wish for. That was really the tone of the show. He had a little, he had a dwarf friend named Tattoo. Oh. No. Big Nick was. If they, now let me tell you something. If they did Fantasy Island again, Big Nick's a good actor. Is he? He's actually a very good actor. Wow what if they did a movie version of it and it was like him and Channing Tatum as the stars? Speaking of beautiful. Oh. I was just thinking of myself. And then I thought. You know who else is beautiful? Trisha. No I'm just kidding. It's beautiful. Oh you smell great. I forget we're here sometimes. I know I forget we're here too. I feel like I'm in a dream. It doesn't feel real at all. It's also weird just because it's like really quiet. Like a lot of people aren't really here. So like we haven't really seen people. It's like it's the beginning of a scary movie. When a couple things are going to like a five star resort. But meanwhile. It's like. It's a set up for like horror movies. Yeah. Exactly. I almost want to go back and get my sneakers. Really bad? Yeah. Maybe we'll buy something. Yeah let's buy some shoes for you. I think the. I feel like. Why are they bad? They're just. I don't know. I'm getting like. Sores? Yeah. Like it's. I know. Something's going on with like my. My whole body. Like I better. I thought there was no jumping allowed. She just did it. That actually turned out amazing. I'm kind of jealous. We can go do that. Yeah. It was kind of bummed that it rained. We should have. I know. Could have hung out for a while. We should have done some swimming. Damn it. I know. I got a little tired when we first got here. When he said let's swim to an island. I'm like. Let's go see if there's a lot right now. Look at this ----. This is really good. Well. We're here. And. We're a little concerned that there's no one else here. But. Trish thinks it could develop into a hostage situation pretty easily. I mean. I like it. I think. I think when we see it in the daytime it's going to be different. We got here late. It was rainy. It was dark. Like. I think when we see it in the daytime. It's going to open up our eyes. There was way more people at the Intercontinental. So. I really isolated you. I just picked a place where no human being is at. No other girl to even look at. I know. None. She was taking me to an all male resort. Next trip. Next trip should be to a gay cruise. Ooh. That would be fun. What else did you imagine? I had this vision that like. Three days from now. We're going to be like. You're going to be like. Get me the hell out of here. Mm mm. I don't mind it. I'm happy to do nothing. I love it. I love sitting in the room. Are you going to be like that? No. Not me. I got plenty to do. I love it here. Do some writing. Maybe I'll write something. Honestly. I let you write. Because there's really nothing else to do. Oh good. We did something crazy. Which was. We started ordering food. And we have reservations at another restaurant. But this isn't a lot. At first I was like. Oh yeah. We can still go to the other restaurant. You think? Oh yeah. I think we're going to be full. I think we. What? Are we? I think so. And the french fries. The french fries look so good. I don't care. I'm happy to eat two places. That's fine. What else we got to do? You know what would be good tomorrow? I got strawberry daiquiri. Mm. Is that one now? They have one? Nah. Too heavy now. I'll have it in the daytime. Oh. After we go jet skiing. Strawberry daiquiris. Before our massages. Oh. Summer down, won't you love? I'm taking one for the team. We taking shots till it's love. You never know where we could end up. Needless bar, razor, coffee. I hate a wardrobe in the winter.