Trevor Wallace's Toughest Stand Up Show...

Can we go through a couple of stories? These are, these are, I've been, Trevor, I've been reading Daily Mail and I just asked, I just love this. Kanye, they, they don't know what to do with $500 million worth of Yeezys. Insane. Donate. To who? Third world countries. Dude, I'll wear them. I don't give a, I'm Jewish. There's nothing more Jewish than taking free clothes. Here's the thing. That's funny. But here's, here's. Gucci did this a while ago and I don't wear anything crazy like that, but like you see girls wear it. It'll be like a Gucci purse and it says like, not Gucci, but it is Gucci, you know, like they go against her. So just put like not Yeezy or Yeezys and then put like underneath, like sucks. There's a solution. Like a reverse psychology brand. Yeah. This is tomorrow night. What is it? Chris Rock is going to premiere his, speaking of Netflix specials, he's going to premiere his Netflix special on tomorrow night and I think it's live. Is it? I think so. And he's going to talk about Will Smith. Apparently he has to, he hasn't, you haven't passed with him at Laugh Factory or anything. No, I've, I've, I've met him once. You did. Santa Monica. That was, that was a, that's somebody I followed. Neil Brennan's show. Neil Brennan's so funny. So goddamn smart. So Neil Brennan has a show there on Tuesdays and he goes, all right, you're up, there's a small chance Chris Rock is going to come in. And I'm like, yeah, man, Chris Rock's going to drive to Santa Monica on a Tuesday. Sure enough, dude in a beanie, Bose headphones walks in the green room and Chris Rock and then Chris Rock goes up and he does 20, 25 minutes. And then I go, well, time for me, Chris Rock, and now a TikToker, you know? No way. I, this, that was fine. I, but I think it was just me being, um, present. I go, keep it going for Chris Rock, a legend. And now a kid, uh, who's going to go home after this and yell about swiping up, you know, like, I think I was just cognizant of what it was, but that's the story I forgot about. Yeah. That's crazy. But I saw him do like 30 minutes at the Hollywood bowl with, when he, when that night, yeah. Remember when some guy tried to stab Chappelle that night? You were there? I was at that show. Adam W was there. Yeah. It was there. And I mean, and what happened? With what? So he did 30. He, this was pretty recent after the whole Will Smith thing. Yeah. He walks out all the lights cut off. This music starts playing. Spotlight hits him goosebumps. I mean, dude, he, nobody knew he was coming out. Uh, they actually, I don't think it was. Yeah. I don't think that nobody knew. Yeah. I think it was surprised. Yeah. And man, he crushed, he did. He, I mean, it's just like, he, all the attention was just on him. It's like, that's the dude after the Will Smith thing. Now he's here right in the spotlight. And I forget what he says. I would butcher it even if I did remember, but he's, he's just like a one sentence, like, like I'm okay or something like that and then went into it. But he didn't really address too much. And then you saw this, the stabbing or the attempt. I saw that. I thought it was a bit. Were you close? No, I was, I was pretty far back. And, and you just, yeah, you always a bit. Well, yeah, right. Because this was so recent after the Will Smith thing that I thought Dave just had a good sense of humor, which he does. And I thought he was just going to be like, Oh, I remember the Will Smith thing. No guys can do it to me. Turns out it was a dude who like climbed. Some part of the Hollywood mountains, like running with a knife and snuck it down. He never had a ticket even. No, he went through the back, like the mountains and came down, somehow got back to his age, you know, that's Hollywood. You do running, you get those endorphins pumping. You're like, I'm going to stab Dave Chappelle. That's why hiking is dangerous. You get too confident in this town. You're like, you see the Hollywood sign. I'm going to take over. Dude. That's especially funny. Cause I do run in and it, it, it is a rush. Oh my God. I mean, I've never had a rush like that. I just did my first ice bath yesterday. Oh, how long did you last? Dude. Long time. Cause we were filming a video. Yeah. So I wasn't really paying attention, but maybe seven minutes. That's good. It was insane. First time I did it, I did three. Second time I did it, I did eight. Dude. I think I, I like afterwards I like wrapped up in a robe and then laid. And we'll get to the fact that you have a ringtone as an adult. We'll get to the fact that shortly after you have an MP3 playing, was that Creed? What is that? The worst ringtone? And because I'm old, I don't know how to switch it. You're lying. You turn the button on the side. What is it? No, but I don't know how to change it. The Bahama girl. No, it's this thing that goes, it's your baby mama. Because I initially put it in for my ex wife as like a joke for my kids to make my kids laugh. But then I don't, but now it just rings when anyone calls us. It's your baby mama. But I don't even know what the, it is. So it could be like sparklets calling your water deliveries tomorrow. It was, it was literally, I don't know. It was like an eight one eight number, but you know what? I wanted to talk, but then you said the thing about the kids. You're like, dude, I'll do anything to make my kids laugh. I was like, that's a good dad. I'll do anything to make my kids laugh. I learned a 99 cent ringtone. I learned a Cardi B's. I like it verse the other night for my daughter and her friends as just, just, just for fun. Like I have to drive her to volleyball. It's really far. So I had like 45 minutes to kill. And I was like, okay, let me just, they didn't ask for this. And I'm like, let me just learn, you know, I like it. Yeah. I like dollars. I like Shannon. I like stunting. I like Shannon. I like million dollar deals. Where's my pen? I'm signing. So I learned it for them. And then I performed it for them and they, they loved it. Oh, that's great. That's great. The worst thing is you're like halfway through the verse. They start just texting on their phone. You're like, am I bombing for my own family members right now? Dude, as they get older too, it's tougher to make them laugh. And then they start, you start to be the butt of the joke, right? Right. They, they start Snapchatting me. Like she was daughters. My daughter was Snapchatting my feet the other night cause my feet are gross. And just all our friends are just commenting like, oh my God, I can't believe this, like your dad is so damn. I mean, I think at the end of the day, for the most part, from what I've experienced is like self deprecation as a dad will always like a joke might not land, but I remember like, dude, you see like a, like a dad like trip and hit his head on the counter and kids like laughing hysterically. Right. And then you like put that in your act around the house and each whenever baby's crying, you know? Yeah. So at the end of the day, if you become the butt end of the joke, I don't mind. I mean, I love it. I love, honestly, when they get to be teenagers, you love any interaction they You know what I mean? Because they have their own lives and we're talking about family members in case somebody tries to clip that and say, teenagers loving you, you know, people be clipping, dude, Twitch, I'm saving this for you. Thank you, Trevor. Just, just a camera shot of you being like teenagers, teenagers, you know, it's, it's good. I'm glad you did that, but yeah, they're 17 and 14 and they just like, they just got their own lives, man. They're, they're gone and they're LA kids because they have, they have Uber and they have Postmates. So once they got Uber and Postmates, forget it, they're done. They don't, they don't need you anymore. Food and transpo. That's it. They're done. And in a weird sense, you think as a dad, you'd be like, good, but then you're like, Oh, I miss. Yeah. No, you're, you're, you're, you're crushed. You got Katsuya. I was going to make you a peanut butter and jelly. Like it's gotta be kind of hard to, so funny. Wow. I literally, the other night as a Postmates driver, dad, I wrote a note, leave a tip or a hug. Yeah, man. That's what happens. Are you going to have kids? I want to someday. Yeah. You'd be a good dad. Yeah. I, I think, uh, I think that'd be fun. And I also think that would force me to not be like, Oh, business videos, stand up. Like, it's like that's, you know, you, you have a child, like that becomes your life. Yeah. It's a whole new chapter or this, but even where my dumb guy goes, that's so much standup material. It's like, or kid, you know, you get both, you get both, you get both, you get a ton of great material and then you get like, you'd be a dad, which is the best thing you'll ever do. Yeah.