THE SURPRISE YOU DIDN'T SEE!!

What's up? What's up with you? Just chillin. I wanted to show you something. Okay. I don't know if you'll like it I'm opening the gate now. I'm a little nervous. You ready? Uh, why are you shaking? Look that way. He's really confused. Here it goes. Shut the f*** up. What? Whose is that? Yours? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dude, you're f***ing lying bro. I'm not kidding. Actually? Yeah. Like it? Oh my god. Hold on. Oh my god. I'm shaking, I'm crying. What do you think? You like it? Holy... This is crazy, dude. For real? For real. David, are you serious? Oh my god. I love it. I'm freaking out right now. This is crazy. This is mine. What's up guys? Welcome to the vlog. I hope you're well. We got a great vlog for you today. Before we begin, I need to tell you about my tour, which is a 21-city tour, stand-up tour, going across the country. Oh my god. September, October, and November of 2019. I'm going everywhere. It kicks off September 7th in San Diego. Yeah, I'm going to Boston, New York, Charlotte, Virginia, Miami, West Palm Beach, Austin, Dallas, Houston, three shows in Texas. I'm going to Spokane, which is pronounced Spokane, Washington. People have corrected me. Anyway, go to RestWhenImDead.com, go to the link in the description, go get your tickets, come meet me. Come see me do stand-up. I've been working on new material. Also, Second Chances is my Comedy Central sitcom, which is about a guy having a midlife crisis. Oh, I wonder why they cast me. That's on Comedy Central's YouTube channel, so if you want to go check it out, there's episode one and two, which is up there. Go watch it. Show it some love. That would be really great. We work really hard on it. My assistant, John, wrote all the scripts, which was really cool. He's not really my assistant. He's my creative assistant, creative partner. Oh, I'm having a pop-up. I'm sorry, I'm plugging a ton of stuff. Also, I'm having a pop-up in L.A. next week, Labor Day weekend. It's going to be really sick. All my merch from Fanto is going to be there. You can come and meet me. It's totally free. Okay, well, that's it. Enjoy today's video. It's a fun one. We went and we worked at a pizza shop, and it was pretty fun. Okay, bye. Thank you for inviting us. So we own Rockin' Sushi and then Caruso's. They're literally right next door. Oh my god, that's great. This is David, world-class tennis player. Hello, I'm world-class tennis player David. Oh, you got the same shoes Wyatt got. Oh, those are sick. Have you put them on? No. Do you want to try them right now? You'll be really confused. It won't even make any sense to you. Sure. Do you want me to hold your shoes? Yeah, hold on, hold on. I love that we drove to the pizza place just to try on shoes. Andrew, what do you think? Do you like them? I like them. They're very nice. They're, like, beaded, so the beads, like, form to your feet. Oh, wow, they're great. Aren't they crazy? Wow! Yeah, they're really weird, but they don't make any sense. Thanks. Okay, the food. This looks really good, actually. Jesus, this is like a wedding. You ready? Yeah. Whatever you guys want to do. I want to make a pizza. Hey, this is my daughter Natalie. She's back from college. Pepperoni. Oh, nice pronunciation. Hey, you don't want to take your shirt off in the kitchen, right? That's not good. George, are you going to teach me how to make a pie today? Oh, sure. And what's the secret to a great pie? Um, do it good, do it with love. Let's do it. What's the first thing we do? Uh, so what kind of pizza do you want? Uh, what kind of pizza do you guys want? Hawaiian. Hawaiian? Oh, boy, that's bold. Okay. Hawaiian it is. No, no, no. Do like cheese. Cheese is great. Pepperoni. Do a pizza with everything on it. Like, really go crazy. Except onions and mushrooms. Please. Yeah, Natalie and David don't like onions. What's your take on onions, George? Wow. You guys have like really fresh ingredients and everything, huh? Yeah, we do. Who's the promo? Wow, here at Caruso's, the ingredients are crazy. Oh, is Jason going to be able to spin that? Can you spin that on your hand? Yeah, sure. What's your favorite part of making pizzas? Uh, the oven. The oven? Yeah. You like to see it rise? Whoa. Hey. Hey, guys. You going to jump in here? He's got to stay off that, I think. Can Jason spin it a little bit? Yeah, sure. Do you wash your hands? Jesus Christ. He spins it, the entire pizza's black when he's done spinning it. I did use soap. You just showered? Yeah. That's your excuse? I just showered. I haven't touched my face or anything. Imagine Jason actually working in a kitchen. I know. Everyone would get food poisoning. Fire department's here. Oh, damn. Uh-oh. Hey, I haven't started cooking yet. All right, here we go. Hey, welcome to Caruso's. How you doing? Jay, they probably have to go to a fire in a couple minutes. Let them actually order. What did I get you guys? All right, let's go. They're our LA's finest. Don't waste their time. All right, Jason's going to learn how to make a pizza. Then you've got to start putting it like this. Here we go. And then you just kind of spin, I guess. And you've got to go like this, right? Yeah, there we go. Puncture it a little bit. Oh, you're making it bigger. Making it bigger. And spin. Oh, nice. Hey. Hey, buddy. Hey. Oh, no. Oh, sh**. Okay, so is this about the size that they should be? Yeah, that's the medium one. And then does it expand? Oh, that's medium. Yeah, that's the medium one. Okay. Oh, you can just eye it and you know how big it is? Yeah. It's been like 60 years. 60 years? Wow. I have to compliment you because the ingredients are so fresh. And the food looks so good. I haven't eaten yet, but. Okay, let's get Natalie in there. This is kind of fun. Wow. Now, I know that's not a lot of sauce. No, it's good like that because the fries get like soggy. But you put too much sauce. Let's do pepperoni. Cheers. Wow, what is this? America? This is great. Thank you. I'm moving in here. It's not too hot back here. You've been here six minutes. I don't know what people complain about. Just hopped out of your $140,000 Tesla and been here six minutes. Pepperoni pizza going in the oven. How long do we wait? We wait like four minutes for the bottom. And then we put it on the top. Then we wait like two more minutes. Like eight minutes in total. Oh, wow. That's not bad. Oh, yeah. That's good. What is this? Watch. That is insane. We also have chipino. Are you a time traveler? Look at this. That looks good, Brandon. Good call. Oh, my God. That's for everybody. You're supposed to be washing dishes. All right. Get this. Look at this. Hey, David, look at you. You're a natural. You want me to put it? Is it okay if it's in the middle? Yeah. Put it there. Hey. He's a natural. Hey, can I get in? I'm making pizza. Oh, actually, he had a different plan. Why don't you wash the dishes? In the back? Yeah. Figured that's why I was called down here. All right. Maybe I can be promoted later. Oh, hi. Seems like I'm going to be joining you. I'm a really good chef. Yeah, no. This is a good job for Brandon. Brandon would do this the best out of all of us. All right, Brandon. See you later. Okay, guys. Bye, Brandon. Thank you. Are you sure I can't come into the kitchen? Bye, Brandon. We'll come and get you whenever we need you. Have you ever worked at a restaurant, Jason? Oh, yeah. I worked at an old folks home. Oh, yeah? In the restaurant. Yeah, I washed dishes. I cooked. David worked at an old folks home. I worked at a restaurant. Oh, my God. It's not easy. No. Yeah, it's really hard. Even just standing. Like, your feet start to... Yeah, it starts to kill after a while. Did you? Yeah. I worked as, like, an expediter. Busboy. You were a busboy? Yeah. You would be a busboy. I was a busboy. Look at this. Look what George is doing. What are you doing now, George? I'm moving it for... You can collect. Give it to surround. Yeah, they get the other end. I know. Can you cut it? You want to cut it? Yeah, sure. I'll cut it. That's really hard. Is that hot? You got to, like, slam it. Get a what? You got to go back. Do I get into it? Yeah, you got to whack it. Ah, jeez. It's a small slice. You ever seen them do it? You got to, like, whack it in and then get in there. Yeah. Like that? Yeah. Okay. Right into Natalie's stomach. That's awesome. That's the wifey out. When can I work on a pizza? Brandon's actually... He actually went and washed the dishes for the... He committed. Brandon, what are you doing now? They just got you cleaning today? Would you mind? I'm on... Oh, okay. Great. Yeah, you're doing a good job. You missed a spot. Hey, when do you think they're going to let me go in the back? Well, they said if you do a good enough job cleaning this table, they'll let you go in the back. So, thanks, Brandon. All right. Thank you. Thank you, Brandon. Yum, yum. Wait, did you make this, Natalie? I did. Oh, my God. This is Natalie. That was so fast. Give me a drink. First bite. Why? I cool it down. Some garlic bread for you guys. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. Yeah, you're going to be in love with that. Mm. Yeah? Oh, yeah. You want a gin? You want rum? You want vodka? Weren't you the dishwasher? Yeah, I got promoted. John, take a taste of that. Garlic bread? Your press is good. It's really good. Whoa. Oh, my God. That was good. You guys want Sprite? I've always wanted to do that. I don't know why. What are you adding now? Sprite and cranberry. Oh, my God. It's good? You may need to hire me after what I just came up with. How about Brandon does ten shots of Jägermeister right now? I'm down for that. I'm not driving. Will you? Do you want one? No. Do you want two? Of Jäger? Yeah. You have four, loco. Everything good with you? I have. I gotta tell you. You know how it is. You have a wife and kids so early, things can go bad. Wife's up my ass all the time, Jerry. I can't take it. There's no point. No point at all. You know I've been washing this glass for three hours? Every time I come in here, you just wash it. It's like the best for dipping in ranch. Yeah. That's what I meant. Yeah. Can I have some ranch? Ooh. Because it has a hole in the middle, right? It's very fluffy, but also crispy on the outside. Yeah. It's a good crunch. Listen. Wow. Get in the ranch. This is it. Thanks, man. David. No. Okay. Here I go. That's not something we do in my family. Ranch and pizza. No. This is very Midwest for me. Red Bull and... I didn't see you pour anything in there. I quit. There's some food coming out right now. It looks so good. What is this? Chicken parm. Whoa. My man. He says this is the best chicken parm in L.A. I'm going to have all of it. David goes to the pasta first, which is weird to me, but okay. David's going in now for the chicken parm. Are they going to pass out? I know. I'm eating too much. We have so much to do today. I'm going to pass out. One of the busiest days ever. What's that? What did you say? These are family to us. So this is like from our family to yours. Oh. This is all for you guys. You're your family, right? Yeah. All right. Here. Get me eating the chipino. Have it your way. Eat fresh. We're just home with a Big Mac. Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, it's spicy. I love it. How's the chicken parm? I should have. You ruined his diet in the nicest way possible. It's so good. All right, Matt. Matt, you can't be laying down on the job. My family is going to give you guys your own dish, like on the menu. Whatever you guys want it to be. It can be a pizza, pasta. It's going to be yours. Yeah. You guys can have your own. Oh, dude. That's insane. That is really cool. Thank you. Do this or don't do it? I'd do that, too. All right. I need to stop eating. Yeah. Yeah, you do. Did you eat all of it? Did you want me to say that you didn't need to stop? Do I? Do I need to stop? Yeah, you need to stop. Do I? Everybody here is thinking. He's thinking it. I'm telling you. You guys got a cake job here. You just go around and eat everywhere. All right. I got to stop. You're right. It's done. Three, two, one. This is the best chicken parm I've had in a long, long time. This is the pizza Andre? Oh, my God. It's so good. Everybody said you were going to stop eating. Incredible. So, there is a surprise. Okay. So, I discussed it with my family. Yes. You guys can name anything on the menu, and it will be your dish on the menu. Make your own dish on the menu. It's printed on the menu, on Grubhub, on whatever. It's yours. It'll be on Grubhub? I've always wanted to be on Grubhub. Two vanilla ice cream. Can we do that? Is that already claimed as vanilla ice cream? Can I get two scoops of David Dobrik? Do you guys have vanilla? No, we have the Dobrikinator. Oh, my God. This looks amazing. Should we call Chicken Parmesan the Natalie? I guess Chicken Parm is your thing. I was thinking we'd get one squash and call it the Vlogsquash. Well, is there like a squash pasta you can call it Vlogsquash? There's not, but we could make one. I like the idea of naming it Vlogsquat something. No, we'll just name a pizza. This is probably easiest. You want to steal an entire pizza's name? No, we're going to make a pizza with like Vlogsquat ingredients. So, like, what is the Vlogsquat ingredient? Wait, you don't make like chicken tender pizza, do you? Oh, Jonah. Hey, Jonah's here. Jonah, you're the perfect person to show up right now. Why? Look at all this food that we can't eat. Why not? Because we've stuffed ourselves already. Look at his eyes. What's the problem? You need me to clean up here? No, I'm okay. Wow, come on. Shut up. I'm just kidding. Jonah, he says we're naming any food after us. We have to come up with a name. What about a Vlogsquat chicken tender pizza? So, it's like chicken tenders. Chicken parmesan pizza. Wait, we get to create it? You can create it or you can steal one. Okay, the Vlogsquat pizza. It's a chicken parm pizza. Do you make barbecue pizza? We do. Kebabs on a pizza. What are we doing? Okay, so. I didn't tell you this, but I owe this mob boss money. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, he's been paying my rent the past few months. How much money do you owe him? A lot. Salvatore, how are you doing? I'm doing great, how are you? I'm great. Is it okay if I sit, Salvatore? Brandon, tell me. How do I like my chicken coop? Is there any way I can speed up my food? Because it wasn't properly cooked. It wasn't properly cooked. Take this pizza. Go to the bathroom and eat it yourself. Now it's getting Irish. Now the accent's getting Irish. Eat it yourself. Listen to his Italian accent. David, listen to his Italian accent. Go. Keep doing the bit you were doing. What? Keep doing the bit you were doing. Is that the worst Italian accent you've ever heard? It's really bad. I bet David can do a better Italian accent than that. Okay. Go. Because my grandmother was Italian. I can't do it because I'm listening to his. So I'm just going to try to copy it. Did you make the cioppino? Yes. Very good. Did you make the chicken parmesan? Yes. Excellent. Let me see this baby. This baby's a little younger. So cute. Is it yours? No, it's my aunt's. Oh, it's yours? Congratulations. Thank you. You're very happy? Yes. Yeah? My kids are going to be happy right now because they're going to... You like him? It's crazy you have a baby. Isn't that crazy?