Major Moments of Faith | Young Sheldon Compilation

If Mom knew this was in the house, she'd lose her mind. I know. Mom does not like demons. So how does it work? You put your fingertips on it like this, and you ask it questions. And the spirits from beyond will move you around the board and answer them. Whoa. Let's try it. Okay. Pastor Jeff talked about these in Sunday school. He called them Satan's Monopoly Board. Hello? It's Pastor Jeff. What do I do? See what he wants. What do you want? Um, is your mom home? No, she went out with my dad. It's just me and Georgie. Oh, okay. Well, I hope you two are behaving yourselves. We aren't. We're just watching TV. Okay, bye. I just lied to her, Pastor. So? So I'm going to hell. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Sex for you. Relax. Not until you're dead. You smell really nice. Thank you. It's soap. I love soap. I'll get it. Hello? I wasn't watching TV. I was playing with the Ouija board. Who is this? Missy Cooper, and I'm going to hell. Missy, you're not going to go to hell. Yes, I am. God knows what I did. He sees everything. You're right. God does see everything. But he also just saw you be a good Christian and tell the truth. So I promise, your soul is safe. You're sure? I'm sure. If you're lying, you're going to hell too. I'm sure. Thank you. You take care now. The Lord just sent me a message. Really? I'm sorry. I can't be in a physical relationship outside of marriage. Okay. I respect that. Thank you. So when are we getting married? I drew up a list of interview questions we can ask the pastors. These are all softballs. Shouldn't we dig a little deeper? Are you kidding me? Who's your favorite apostle and why is it going to have them squirming in their seat? Oh, please. There are 11 good answers and one bad one. Mary, if you're not here to help, I can do this on my own. I am here to help. I am just saying that most people see this job as a stepping stone to bigger and better opportunities. This is Pastor Andy. Welcome. Who is my favorite apostle and why? That is a toughie. Although I suppose any answer other than Judas is safe. So where are you from? Originally Rhode Island. And you're a Southern Baptist? I guess I'm more of a Northern Baptist, but we're all just Baptists, right? I'll show him out. So how do you relate to young people? Bad. Which is what kids these days say when they mean good. It's a Michael Jackson song. Here's another Michael Jackson song. Beat it. Pig. Sorry. But she's right. Thank you for coming. Okay. Who is your favorite apostle and why? Oh! I'm going to say Judas. What? How? Well, for man to be redeemed, our Lord had to die. If Judas hadn't betrayed him, mankind wouldn't have been saved. Pretty cool. I never thought about it like that. Well, you know, when you come at things from unexpected angles, people pay attention more. It's what I hope to do with the kids. Well, you got my attention. Hold on. I'm not sure that we should be teaching the kids that Judas was cool. Well, I just try to see everyone the way Jesus would. Preach. No, no. That's your job. Look, I just want to get the kids excited about church. Think of me as the warm-up band before you hit the stage. I think we just found our new youth pastor. Can we discuss this? Of course. When can you start? Got a minute? I'm kind of busy. I'm inventing a system of heraldry for two warring tribes of orcs in my D&D campaign. Oh. I was hoping we could talk about atheism. Much like an orc, I'm all ears. What's it like to not believe in God? It's great. Big fan. Are you ever afraid you're wrong? About religion? Never. About other things? Also never. I don't know. It seems a little scary to just stop believing. Well, is it more comforting to believe in a God who could flood the world and kill everyone because he had a bad day? That's a good point. But doesn't it upset people when you say you don't believe? Oh, yeah. And that doesn't bother you? Does it bother you when you upset people? I couldn't care less. Welcome to atheism. Now, if you were an orc, would you like this flag? Well, hey, y'all. I'm Pastor Rob. I'm guessing everyone knows what this is. The Bible. That's right. What else is it? The Word of God. Excellent. You know what else it is? It's just a book. I like him. It's a good book. Got a lot of great stories. Instructions on how to live life. But God is more than just a book. God is real. God is everywhere. And God loves you. He's losing me. Yeah, I bounced around from job to job after college. Never really had a plan for what was next. Until one day, I felt the Lord call me to his service. Yes, Missy Cooper. Right? How'd you know? Let's see. Mary's your mother. Sheldon's your brother. And I hear you are one heck of a pitcher. Do my homework, y'all. Homework? He's winning me back? So what's on your mind, Missy? Is it okay that I'm wondering if God is real? I can take this one. Yes. He is absolutely right. He is? I usually am. You can't just believe something because people say it's true. You have to question it. It's kind of like the scientific method, right Sheldon? Did my homework on you too. But what if I decide he's not real? Look. I'm not asking you to believe what I believe. I'm just asking you to think about what you believe. Sounds like you're already doing that. Yep. What do you know about me? Hmm. Billy Sparks. Sixth grade. Also plays baseball, but maybe not as good as her. Love. And then Pastor Rob said it doesn't matter if I believe in God because God believes in me. I said the same thing. Not like he did. Well, I told him religion is an objective and there's no proof for it. Oh, I bet he didn't like that. He loved it. He quoted Kierkegaard and said if you could prove it, there'd be no room for faith. Well. Good for him. He also likes homework. Mm-hmm. He even threw the Bible on the floor. He what? You heard me. Why didn't you eat with us? I'm not hungry. Dad's mad at me. Mom's not thrilled with me either. Why? Mom made chicken, and I said chickens cluck a lot, so they should be called cluckers. And some chickens are moms, so you could call them mo- I don't care. Mom sure did. Why are you reading the Bible? I felt bad about last night, so I thought it might be good for me. Where are you going with this? Nowhere. I just want to make you happy. Mm-hmm. And the man increased exceedingly, and had much cattle, and maidservants, and menservants, and camels, and asses. Okay, stop. What? I'm just reading from Genesis. Well, cut it out. Fine. Let's try Exodus. And on the seventh day thou shalt rest, that thine ox and thine ass may rest. That is it. You are grounded. For reading the Bible? The way you are doing it, yes. Go to your room. Okay. I don't have a donkey, but if I did, I'd take my ass out of here. When children reach adolescence, a cascade of hormones are released, causing mood swings, impulsive behavior, and an unbelievable amount of eye rolling. During this time of change, members of the opposite sex who caught my sister's fancy included new kids on the block, Rufio from the movie Hook, and oddly enough, our new Sunday school teacher, Pastor Rob. Was Mary Magdalene Jesus' girlfriend? No, just one of his followers. Yeah, Jesus didn't have a girlfriend. Do you have a girlfriend? No. No, I don't. I don't have a girlfriend either. All right. You and me, Billy. Couple of bachelors. Are you allowed to have a girlfriend? In the Baptist church, yes. Pastor Jeff is married. And was married before. So he's had two wives, but not at the same time. That's not allowed. Thank you, Sheldon. At least not anymore. In the Old Testament, Abraham had two, Jacob had four, and Solomon had a thousand. But those were largely for political alliances. Fun fact, only 700 of those were wives. The other 300 were concubines. I wouldn't count on the Bible for facts, but that was fun. So, boyfriends and girlfriends are okay? The way I see it, God is love. So, if we love someone else in a committed relationship, we're feeling God. So holding hands is okay? Sure. What about kissing? Maybe at some point when you're older. And what exactly is third base? I'm thinking it might be a good idea if we gave the kids a talk about the facts of life. You mean like S-E-X? What are you spelling that for? G-L-D. You really think that's an appropriate topic for kids their age? Well, they seem to have a lot of questions about S-E-X. Sex, sex, sex. Get over it. I just think that's a subject best left up to the parents. I'm glad you feel that way because it was your daughter who had the most questions. A little angel. Do you, Pastor Rob, take Melissa Cooper to be your wife? Heck yeah. And do you, Melissa Cooper, take Pastor Rob to be your husband? I totally do. I hereby pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Youth Pastor Rob. You may now take the bride to Six Flags. Yay! Since when did we start advertising gambling rooms? What? It's a laundromat. Yeah, and the massage parlor off the freeway is for stiff necks. Well, that is a legitimate business. My mother owns it. My son works there. You say so. I do say so. Fine. It's true. I'd say want to bet that I lost 40 bucks last night at your mom's legitimate business. Are you running a gambling room in the back of the laundromat? What? No. Peg says she was there last night. Oh, gambling room. Yeah. What are you thinking? You know gambling is illegal. Why do you care how people spend their money? Gambling destroys lives. That's what you say about booze. I think it's an excellent pairing. Wait. Does Georgie know about all of this? Um... Oh my lord! It's okay. I'm looking after him. What if the police show up? Don't you worry about them. We got an understanding. What does that mean? I'd explain it to you, but you wouldn't understand. You are unbelievable. It is bad enough for you to do all this stuff, but then to drag Georgie down into your den of sin? Oh please. It's not a den of sin. Although that is a great name. Den of sin. That would get some butts in seats. Georgie? Hey. What are you doing here? I know about the room in the back. Do you know whether or not I know? Yes. Okay. That's going to save us a lot of time. It is not okay. You are quitting right now. Why would I do that? Because I am your mother, and it is wrong. Well, I'm working for your mother, and she says it's okay. And I answered to a higher power, and he says it's also wrong, so I went, let's go. Mom! Please don't make a big deal out of this. Oh! So there is an illegal gambling room in the back, and it's no big deal. There's a gambling room back there? And there is a church two blocks down, so maybe try that. Just go around to the alley. The password is dryer sheet. This is not a joke. I'm worried about your soul. I'm not gambling. No one's getting hurt. Georgie, I know you think that, but this does hurt people. It's not my business what people do with their money, and it ain't your business either, so butt out. Some of my flock have concerns about the movies y'all rent. You know, the ones with the sexual content and whatnot. If they don't want to see whatnot, then they shouldn't rent whatnot. I hear you. God gave us free will, but you're renting temptation. And you know who tempts us? The devil. So that's who's making me want to slam this door in your face. I'm just here to give you a heads up. People are upset, and I'd hate to see your business suffer. Are you threatening me? No. I'm sorry. Let me just take off my pastor hat, put on my neighbor cap, and start again. I'm gonna put on my hat too. It's got a big foam finger on top of it. Guess which one? The naughty one? Bingo. What are you doing? We're just asking people to sign our petition if they agree that sin has no place in cinema. Clever. Thanks. And God doesn't want us seeing people's private parts. Didn't he make people's private parts? He did. And then he made clothes to cover them right up. You are scaring away my customers. You know what's scarier? Hell. Look, you can't just sit here in front of my store. Freedom of speech. We're allowed. And we're allowed to rent whatever movies we want. People can choose for themselves. They sure can. If you love God and hate the devil, sign here. Where is your halo? Because you are an angel. Let's just see what the people think about this. Yeah. Have you two lost your minds? We do not need this kind of attention. Attention's good. Like free advertising. We're running an illegal gambling room in the back. Oh, that'll be fine. For you, if we get arrested, y'all go to lady jail. I have to go to scary jail. I'm too pretty for scary jail. No more prison movies for you. So you're saying we should just give in? After what that holy rolling muppet has done to your whole family? He does look like a muppet. All I'm saying is we need to remember where the real money's coming from. If we want it to keep coming, you've got to back off. Okay, fine. I'll behave. When did you start to be the responsible one? Hey, I don't like it either. All right, Cooper, remember what I told you, okay? Knees bent, elbows out, eye on the ball. Hang on. Hi, God. It's Missy Cooper. I know my mom talked to you about me the other day, and she's like your biggest fan. Oh, what's going on? What, did you fall asleep? Sorry, I was praying. Oh, my apologies. Anyway, I could really use your help getting a hit. Amen. Okay. Are we good? I don't know. We'll find out. Okay, remember, elbows up, knees bent. I'm coming at you, Cooper. Way to go! Perfect! Thank you, God! How about thank you, coach? Thank you, coach. Too late. I have something for you. You said you wanted a cross, and this is the one I used to wear when I was your age. It's so pretty. I'm glad you like it. It's a nice reminder that wherever you are, God is always with you. And it means a lot to me that you want to wear it. Thanks, Mom. I'm going to pray right now. God, it's Missy again. If you can hear me better, it's because I'm wearing a cross now. He's let me get a lot of hits on Saturday. And if their star pitcher breaks his arm or gets run over by a truck, I'd totally be okay with that. Amen. Then I hit it over the right fielder's head. Sounds like you had a good practice. I did. Coach said he's going to have me hit cleanup. Missy, will you rub your cross on my bat? No. Have you been doing that? On mine. It's working great. Please. I'll give you a dollar. Fine. What do you think you're doing? Sharing God's love. Making some cash. Absolutely not. How about I give you the dollar? God's love has nothing to do with money. What about the collection plate at church? That is different. That's where I found this dollar. Oh, come here. What are y'all doing? Well, I tried to be nice, but he kept pushing. So now we're pushing back. Why do you care? Because I don't like anybody telling me how to run my business, especially him. This is not your business. That room back there with the shady piles of money, that's your business. Your secret illegal business. So what? Are we just supposed to become a Christian video store now? You know what? In this town, that's... No. I am not going to let that man win. Hi. I'm a Channel 7 nude. Can I help you? A local pastor has put together a petition of citizens concerned about the vulgar content of your video store. Would you care to comment? Damn straight I would. I want him to know. No, give me that. I want... I can assure you there's nothing immoral or indecent going on here. This store sucks. We know. Maybe you'd like The Singing Nun. Nope. Has anybody ever rented The Singing Nun? Just Pastor Jeff. That figures. Wait a minute. You can see all the movies that Pastor Jeff ever rented? You can see any movie everyone's rented. Well, let's just see if he's as pious as he pretends to be. Let's find out. Jesus Christ Superstar. Jesus of Nazareth. The Blood of Jesus. Good Lord, how many Jesus movies are there? Oh, what about his wife? Oh. Show me, show me. Hello, Pastor Jeff. Hey there, Connie. What brings you by? I just wanted to drop off a little gift. Dirty Dancing? I think you know how I feel about this movie. I do. I also know how your wife feels about it. What? She's rented it five times. That's a lot of shirtless Patrick Swayze. Must be some mistake. There isn't. Shall we talk about fatal attraction? Do we have to? Six times. Are you blackmailing me? Yeah. Well, it's not gonna work. I'm a man of principles and I stand by them. And I respect that. So let's talk about what your church elders are renting. Oh, come on. Wanna know? Is it bad? It's Porky's Bad. Oh. How are your principals feeling now? I'm going to end this story so you don't have to see a grown man beg for mercy. Connie, please. Are you mad at me? No. You sure? Because that's how you looked when Dad had that breakfast beer. To be honest, I'm a little concerned that I've given you the wrong impression about how prayer works. I get it. I ask God for stuff. He gives it to me. It's not rocket science. Missy, God does not grant wishes. So he gave me good luck? It's not luck. Luck is chance, and God has a plan. Right. And his plan is to give me what I want when I pray. That's why he's so cool. No. I mean, he is cool. But sometimes that might not be his plan. Then what's the point of praying if he's just gonna do what he wants? You don't pray to God to get things. You pray to build a relationship with him. This is too complicated. I'm just gonna keep rubbing this thing on my back, kicking my butt. Okay. That is it. Take it off. No, I need it. The game's Saturday. There are more important things than baseball. Now hand it over. God, cover your ears. Damn it. Missy Cooper! You are not ready for that. You give that back. Oh, you get! Lord, I really need you right now. I have tried so hard to lead my family to your light. But so far, Sheldon doesn't believe in you. Missy thinks you're a magic trick. And you're not a teenage girl, so Georgie doesn't think about you at all. I never thought I'd take a cross away from my own child. But what choice did I have? She was rubbing it on sporting equipment. I didn't think there was a wrong way to pray, but leave it to that girl to find one. Please give me the strength to keep guiding my family to you. I can't do it on my own. Amen. Psst. Hey, miss. Come here. What? I'm up next. No. Here. Don't tell your mother. I think I want to do this on my own. You sure? Just in case Mom's right, I don't want to make God mad. Strike three! All right. Go get them. Sorry I'm late. Shalom. What's on your head? A yarmulke. A yarmulke what? It's a special Jewish hat. It reminds the wearer that God is always over you. Mom? Come on. It's funny. It's not funny, and it's not a yarmulke. It is a coaster I crocheted at Bible camp. Are you going to say something to him? Normally I would, but I got bigger problems right now. What'd you say, Grace? Hold on. Are these hot dogs kosher? Temple Judea. How can I help you? Hello. I'd like to become Jewish. Who would be in charge of that? How old are you? I'm ten. Please hold. Hello. This is Rabbi Schneiderman. To whom am I speaking? Hello. This is Sheldon Cooper. Hello, Sheldon. Um, how can I help you? I'm currently a Baptist, and I'd like to convert to Judaism. A Baptist named Sheldon? Okay. And why do you want to convert? Very simple. It's my intention to become a great scientist, and I couldn't help but notice most of the great scientists are Jewish. So logic dictates it's time to switch teams. Well, I'm sure there are many Baptist scientists you could emulate. That's kind of you to say, but other than Cornelius Drebbel in the 1500s, it's pretty slim pickings. Well, Sheldon, you sound like a very smart young man. Oh, you have no idea. Can I ask how your parents feel about this? Well, when I presented them with my plan, the words over my dead body were used. I'm not surprised. But they were similarly resistant when I wanted to get an ant farm, and eventually they came around. All right. Here's what I'm going to tell you to do. Read your Bible. Already did. Cover to cover. Really? Quiz me. No, that's okay. I believe you. All right. My advice to you is to stay with the faith of your parents. What else you got? Okay. Then I'm going to tell you to be your own man. But I want to be a great scientist like Albert Einstein. Sheldon, when your days are over, God will never ask you, Why weren't you Einstein? But he might ask you, Why weren't you Sheldon? For the Lord, with all his might, Leaping and dancing before the Lord. Leaping and dancing. I'm impressed. Thank you. Too bad it's from Footloose. What's a Footloose? It is the movie that Pastor Jeff warned us about in his talk on the sins of cinema. Just let me go to the dance. I'm sorry, I can't. I'm never talking to you again. Did you show your sister Footloose? Did it work? No. What about Missy? She's not talking to me. She'd talk to you if you just let her go. You know I can't do that. Come on. I went to school dances and I turned out fine. I didn't let you go to any dances. I did all kinds of stuff behind your back. Like what? I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb. So I'm supposed to just let her do whatever she wants? Yeah, I don't think so. I'm just saying she's a good kid. Be glad she's still asking. Missy? Go away, I'm not talking to you. I know you're mad. But I've been thinking about it and I trust you enough to know that you will behave yourself. So just this once, you can go. Thanks, Mom. Love you. How about this open? Sometimes it sticks. I've been working for the big man all the live long day. I've been working for the big man just to wash my sins away. Hey, Mary. What's up? Can I speak with you about a spiritual matter? My sweet spot. Sit. What's the buzz? Tell me, what's a happening? Jesus Christ Superstar. It's a great show. Well, um... I'm concerned George and Georgie might be succumbing to the sin of greed. That's a biggie. Ever since Georgie started making money, he's been very disrespectful. Meanwhile, my husband's so busy trying to land a better job, he doesn't even care how it might affect Sheldon. I'm sorry to hear that. In Luke 12, 15, Jesus says, Watch out. Be on your guard against all kinds of greed. Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions. I know, but it seems like the whole world is sending the opposite message. Don't I know it. Just the other day I was at the mall and a toaster oven caught my eye. Next thing you know, I was in line to buy it, and I realized, I have a toaster, and I have an oven. What am I doing? Turns out Satan doesn't just hide out in honky-tonks and casinos. Sometimes he's in the appliance section of Sears. If it's everywhere, how can we fight it? We may not be able to control the world, but we can control our homes. It's up to us to create an environment where the sin of greed can find no purchase. Is that what you've done in your home? Well, I do make my toast vertically, two slices at a time. Take that, Satan. Lord, give me strength. I'm sorry, God, I'm weak. Ellis will come into punt. Five kicks, 38-yard average. Can't believe he's reading the Bible. I know. I'm actually grateful to that Dungeons & Dragons game. It helped lead him to God. It's now in the odds game. I'm done. You finished it? All of it. Ask me which birds are kosher. I'll bite which birds are kosher. Chickens? Yes. Quail? Yes. Owls? Surprisingly, no. Well, there ain't a lot of meat on them anyway. Shelly, I'm so happy you're taking an interest in religion. I am. And I've decided to explore other religions, too. What's this now? Pastor Jeff encouraged me to approach religion scientifically so it'd only make sense to enlarge my database. No. Your database is Baptist. That's all the data you need. Baptist data. What other religions are you considering? Buddhist, Jewish, Hindu, Catholic, all of them. Nope, nope, that's not happening. Why? As an American, don't I have freedom of religion? Um... Those Dungeons & Dragons are looking pretty good right now, aren't they? I'm also looking into voodoo. Tam, you're Catholic, right? Yes. Explain it to me. Explain what? For starters, who do you pray to? I guess Jesus, God, and Mary. Jesus isn't God? No, he's his son. But you do eat him and drink his blood. Oh, there's also a ghost, but not the scary kind. Like Casper? Exactly. And how does the Pope work? Well, the Pope lives in Italy. He has a special car and a big pointy hat. It's a wonderful hat. And is there anything else I should know about? Every once in a while, you have to confess your sins to a priest. Not me, I don't have any sins. Then you have the sin of pride. Your religion is making me feel bad. That's how you know it's working. Ms. Hutchins, what's your religion? I'm a Mormon. Why? I'm conducting a research project. Can you tell me about being a Mormon? Well, it started in New York when a man found gold plates buried underground. The plates said that when we die, we get to go to our own planet. Unless you're a woman. Then you have to go to your husband's planet. But that won't be a problem for me. I don't have a husband. All I have is a cat. A big, mean cat. Maybe I'll get to go to his planet. Lonely Cheryl on Planet Cat. I like her. She's funny. Welcome, Shelton. We've been waiting for you. Are you the Ten Commandments? No. We are one. And zero. We are the binary code that underlies the universe. The ten thing is a common mistake. I want to understand God. Can you help me? Did you not hear what we just said? It's a binary universe. God is yes and no. Left and right. On and off. Something and nothing. Positive and negative. Male and female. Light and dark. But why is there evil and suffering? Without evil and suffering, there is no good and happiness. Oh, sure. Binary. Shall we give him the final piece of information that unlocks the secret of the universe? Why not? At least one human being should know the reason for everything. Shelton. Before the universe began. Hey, dummy. You're drooling all over your books. Oh. No. Zero was about to tell me the secret and you ruined it. I never heard from one and zero again. Although I was once visited by Nine when I had chicken pox. He was a lot less funny than he thought he was. There's nobody in my house. Wanna come over? Okay, let's go. What's that? Some stupid haunted house my mother's doing for the church. Let's check it out. I thought we were going to your house. We are. Let's just do this first. It'll be fun. Pleased to meet you. I go by many names. Satan. My mother's fears that no one would be saved that Halloween night were proven incorrect. As they kissed, she thought about the choices that led her to this moment. Mr. Lundy's scene about lust made a deep impact on my brother's date. The youth was gone. She had traded her beauty for a few tawdry dollars and now she had nothing left but shame. A venereal disease. She asked to be saved by Jesus. I don't want to live like this anymore. Just repeat after me. And as it turns out, she was. She went on to live a life devoted to God, feeding the poor, even helping her sister start a literacy program for female prisoners. My brother, on the other hand, became a devout atheist after that night. We got one! In Matthew 9, verse 4, Jesus said, Why would you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts? Do you have evil thoughts? Shh. I just don't think this part applies to me. That's fine. Be quiet and listen. Well, I'm only nine years old. Most evil doesn't start till puberty. Hello. Philippians 4, verse 8. Do you have evil thoughts? I'm having them right now. Really? What is it? When we get home, I'm going to kick your butt off the house. Can't. They haven't descended yet. Mom? What? When should I be expecting my testicles? What is wrong with him? Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out. ...continual on these things. A good thought leads to a good thing. You feel it in your body. You feel it... My mom was my Christian soldier. ...leads to evil things and sits there... And for the record, they descended when I was 15. ...into an action. Sometimes people say to me, Pastor Jeff, how do you know there's a God? And I say it's simple math. God either exists or he doesn't. So let's be cynical. Worst case scenario, there's a 50-50 chance. And I like those odds. That's wrong. Shelly, put your hand down. Sorry. Please continue. It's okay, Mary. It's Sheldon, right? Yes, sir. Well, Sheldon, why don't you come on up here and tell me how I'm wrong? Okay. Let's give him a hand, everybody. What's happening? Shelly's going to eat him alive. So, you were saying? You've confused possibilities with probabilities. According to your analogy, when I go home, I might find a million dollars on my bed or I might not. In what universe is that 50-50? So what do you think the odds are that God exists? I think they're zero. I believe in science. So you don't think science and religion can go hand-in-hand? Science is facts. Religion is faith. I prefer facts. I understand that. Here's a cool fact for you. A lot of famous scientists believed in God. Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, even Charles Darwin. So Darwin's right about God and wrong about evolution? Now you're getting it. Let's give it up for Sheldon, everybody. What a good sport. But I wasn't a good sport. At that moment, I vowed to come back the following Sunday and destroy Pastor Jeff. Despite what it looks like, I didn't pray to God that night. I prayed to Blaze Pascal. My thinking was, if he was right about the existence of God, then he could pass along my request for my dad to get better. If he was wrong, well, in this moment, I needed him to be right. Did you know that if gravity were slightly more powerful, the universe would collapse into a ball? I did not. Also, if gravity were slightly less powerful, the universe would fly apart and there'd be no stars or planets. Where are you going with this, Sheldon? It's just that gravity is precisely as strong as it needs to be. And if the ratio of the electromagnetic force to the strong force wasn't 1%, life wouldn't exist. What are the odds that would happen all by itself? Why are you trying to convince me to believe in God? You don't believe in God. I don't, but the precision of the universe at least makes it logical to conclude there's a creator. Baby, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but logic is here, and my problem is here. Well, there are 5 billion people on this planet, and you're the perfect mom for me. What are the odds of that? Thank you, Lord, for this little boy. I knew I could fix it. Oh. Maybe it was you and the Lord. I don't like sharing credit, but I knew in that moment it wasn't the appropriate time to say it.