LOL! Some Of The Best Comedians EVER! | AGT

Good evening. What's your name? My name is Samuel J. Comroe. I'm a stand-up comedian. Oh, wow. I've been doing comedy for 10 years now. Do you do it full-time? Yeah, I do it full-time. Okay. Are you nervous? No, I have Tourette syndrome, so I twitch a lot. I blink real fast. My head flops around. If you see that, it's kind of cute. Thank you. I'm Samuel J. Comroe. I'm a stand-up comedian. I'm 30 years old and from Los Angeles, California. I was born with Tourette syndrome, so I twitch a lot. My face twitches a lot. It's a neurological disorder, and there's no cure. I was diagnosed when I was 6 years old. It just happened out of nowhere, and it was rough. I had no idea what was happening with my body. It was physically painful, and I got a lot of migraines. It felt like almost a person was, like, pulling my face in different directions. At school, I got bullied, nicknames, teased, being the one left out of things. There was really no safe zone. The most upsetting part was just feeling like I was this outsider for something that I couldn't control. When I first saw stand-up comedy on TV, lightbulb flashed on, and I was like, I could do this. It was so cool that somebody could just talk about their lives and also relate to a group of strangers by doing that, which is something I've been trying to do my entire life. First time I hit the stage, I was so scared. That first laugh changed my life. How are you feeling? You're about to go out in front of the audience and the judges. I'm just anxious and excited, and I thought I'd be nervous, but I just want to get out there and do it. I've worked really hard for this. I just had a beautiful daughter. There's a 50% chance she might end up with Tourette's. Coming on America's Got Talent is an opportunity to show her that I took my Tourette syndrome, and I turned it into a positive. Hi, we love you. Going out on stage tonight is going to be an unforgettable moment. I want to be the first comedian to win this thing. I want to prove to my daughter she can do anything. And what does this mean to you, coming to AGT now? This means everything. I've worked my entire life for a moment like this. They don't come very often. I'm really grateful. I just had a baby girl. And this is a beautiful opportunity. Wow. And your family's all supportive of this career? Yes, since I started, they've been 100% behind me, so I'm very thankful. All right. Well, you know what? It's scary enough doing whatever you do to hit that X, and I just want the best for you. I really do. Thank you. Thanks so much. Go ahead. Thank you. So like I said, I have Tourette's syndrome. It's why my hair flops around. I blink real fast. It's weird. It always looks like I'm trying to tell you a secret. This Twitch gets me in trouble. My roommate came home from work. I was like, oh, our neighbor died. He said, did you kill him? I was like, nah. Yo, this is a true story. When I was 10 years old, my parents sent me to Tourette's camp. Yeah, that's where the joke should end. It's a real place. And I didn't realize it till this moment, but I found out that when other people twitch, it makes me twitch more. So on the first day, they put us in a circle with 100 kids. The kid next to me did a shoulder roll, and my Tourette's saw that and took that as a challenge. And I threw him a head flap. The girl next to him did a full body twitch, and everybody saw that and all hell broke loose. Kids were rolling on the ground. I was in the corner like, why'd they send us here? Our parents were on top of a hill like, oh, they're break dancing. I'm Samuel J. Conroe. Thank you. Gosh. Mel? I love that you've taken the Tourette's syndrome and you've made it into such a positive thing and a hilarious thing. Thank you. You're very good. Appreciate it. Heidi? Obviously, I'm also very impressed because you are very talented, and I thought that you were very funny. Thanks so much. Thank you. Simon, what do you think? I mean, God, what an incredible guy you are. What a fantastic attitude you've got to life. You are funny full stop. I really, really like you. This is what this show is all about, finding people like you if I'm being honest with you. Thank you. It really is. Thank you, Simon. I think it's the toughest thing to come out here and make somebody laugh. And you know what? This is exactly why they say laughter is the best medicine. Yeah. You know, it really is. You're amazing. Thanks. So let's vote. Vote, Simon. I'm going to kick this off with a yes. Thank you. Definite yes. Thank you. Mel? It's a definite, definite yes from me. Fork? He was funny. It was beautiful too. I love that. He's great. So I just got off stage, and I got all four yeses from the judges. Yes! I'm super excited, and I can't wait to share this moment with you. Yes! Woo! I'm so happy for you. What's going down in Chinatown? Am I starting, or are you starting? Who's going first? Let's start with, what's your name? Francois, Raphael, Edgar, Norbert, Celestine, Herbert, Absinthe, John, Quarantine, Clement, Emmanuel, Nathaniel, Telus, Four. The initials of which spell French accent? You see what I... All right. Okay, where are you from? Wyoming, obviously. And how old are you? 30, and very single, ladies. Okay. Well, there's a million dollars up for grabs here, French. Yeah, I'm just happy to be here. All right, good luck. Are we ready? All right, all right. Here we go. My name is French accent. I'm doing one-liners and puns. For example, I had a girlfriend named Ruth, but then she broke up with me, so now I am ruthless. I ain't even got started yet. Ah, but it's all right. As it says in the Bible, you reap what you sow. She hooked up with a guy named Doug, he broke up with her, now she's Douglas. Tell me what you want, what you really, really want. And that joke is pointless. If you ever meet a girl named Grace, though, don't go dancing with her. Very soon you'll find out she is... Clumsy. That was weird. Well, this is going over like gangbusters. Heidi didn't like that one either. I'm doing just great here. I live in an RV with two cats, and I'd like to change that. I lied. There's only one cat. I had to give the other back. I stole it. I'm a cat burglar. All right. My name is French accent, and I was gonna do some more time for you, but I've got three X's, and my self-esteem is very low right now. The audience is liking me, you two. I don't know. Yeah, listen to that, all right? That's right. Yeah. I'm gonna sit here and hear what I did wrong. Okay. Let's start with Howie. You know what? Okay, I gotta tell you. You are really funny. You are really unique. Thank you. The key of a really good comic is to play in the moment. Here's a guy who made the three X's really funny, made what was going on in this room really funny. Merci. I just, I love that. Thank you, Howie. No. Thank you. I'm actually gonna agree with you, Howie, because I'm gonna take my X back. God bless you. I didn't know they could be funnier in the moment. That's what made me laugh. Merci. Heidi. You're a real great entertainer. Witty, goofy at the same time. So you wanna take your X back, too? Take it back, Heidi. God bless you. You are saving my life right now. How? Much better. Good. Danke schoen. I'm not gonna take my X back. There's gotta be a villain. Come on. Yeah. I'm gonna kick this off with a no. Pause. Of us three, I'm gonna say yes. Definitely. The X is... Well done, everyone. My name is Andy Huggins from Houston, Texas, and today I'll be performing stand-up comedy. Growing up, I had the fascination and the love for stand-up comedy, so I decided, okay, I'll go to the comedy club on amateur night, and I thought, well, that's something, but there wasn't any money being paid that you can live on. Two years passed, and I had to make a living, so I worked a variety of jobs, but none of them constituted a career. They were just jobs. I have a quiet life now, but I'm happy as can be. I walk almost every day, weather permitting. I have the same path I've been walking for 18 years. Yeah, every once in a while, I'll get crazy and take a different route. Andy, you're on in 20 minutes. Hmm? You're on in 20 minutes. The passion and the love of stand-up just got to be too much, and at some point, I decided I need to do stand-up comedy. You sing? No. You're a stand-up comic? Yeah. Fantastic. This is something I've never achieved or done before, and this may be the last time I get an opportunity like this one. If I can get last from the judges, last from the audience, I'll be the one walking on air after the show. I'll be a happy man. You ready? I am ready. All right, go! How's everybody? Good, how are you doing? Very well, very well, thank you. What's your name and where are you from? Andy Huggins. I'm from Houston, Texas. Tell me about your day-to-day life. I do crossword puzzles, sudokus. There's at least five naps over the course of the day. I love my damn naps. So is this the big dream? To do stand-up on national television? Absolutely big dream. Good for you. Well, good luck. Good luck. So, I reached my sexual peak 38 years ago. I'm down to one shade of gray. Two if I catch a nap in the afternoon. You don't get it? No. Sex is still exciting. I never know what's going to happen first, the orgasm or the foot cramp. There are some advantages to being my age. Frequently, people will stand and offer me their seat, which is great on the bus, a little creepy in the men's room. What do you mean, what does that mean? The toilet? No. Just broke up with my girlfriend, Lori. Lori loves role-playing in the bedroom. Once she was Catwoman and I was Batman. Well, Alfred. I will pay anybody $15,000 to find me a lady friend. Now she has to be kind, she has to be fun, and she has to be wealthy because I'm going to owe somebody $15,000. Thank you very much. Heidi, what did you think of this? I think you're funny. I think you are adorable. I love that you're coming here and that you're doing this right now. I love that about you. Thank you. Simon. Yeah, you're very naughty, aren't you? I think you're very funny. I think you're someone we're going to remember. I'm just curious why you haven't had that break before. I have a bad habit of putting off long-range plans. Yeah, I would speed things up about that now, Andy. It's happening now. I was confused with some of the jokes. You were confused? I didn't understand some of the jokes. Oh, shut up! Okay, Andy, when I walked by you backstage, I did not recognize you. But then I remember that 40 years ago, I remember Andy Huggins as a 28-year-old kid. No. Like me, on the stage. No. We were both starting out together. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember me and you kind of starting out together? Absolutely. That is crazy. Andy, you know what? You are funny. You are memorable. Andy, welcome to show business. Well, thank you. Thank you. Well, let's vote. I want to kick this off because I love people who still have that determination and that dream, which is why you're going to get a yes from me. Thank you. I think that this is your time, and I want to help you get there, so you're going to get your second yes. Thank you. I was just confused with some of the jokes, and I didn't really get it. Sorry, my gut said no. Andy, you've been waiting 40 years, and I'm telling you, you're like fine wine. It was worth the wait. You need three yeses, and I am so proud and honored to give you your third. 28 years old. I swear to you. Thank you. We shared the stage. I didn't know any of that. I didn't know any of that until he said it was me. So this is like your big, big chance, and you just got it. What does that feel like? It feels real good. Did you understand all of the jokes? Not me. I was just very confused. I enjoyed it, even with you sitting beside me going, what does that mean? I didn't understand it. I'm a comedian. Oh, is that what you do every time? Yeah, that's my day job. Got it. I'm Vicki Barbalack. I'm 60, or 60, as a lot of people say. I'm from Oceanside, California, more specifically Rancho Calavera Trailer Park. How long have you been doing this comedy thing? 20 years. 20 years? 20 years, yeah. One day I was, you know, in the restroom, and there was something in the trash, and I noticed it. It said stand-up comedy classes, and it was like 38. And I'm like, hmm, am I too old to do this? I've been married three times. I have two kids. Since you don't make much in the stand-up world, I started a wedding chapel business, and I became an ordained minister. I even have a bed in the back for a half-hour honeymoon for an extra $29.95. America's Got Talent could really change my life. This could take me from my trailer park in Oceanside to a trailer park in Malibu. That cracks me up. It's so sad. I need a better dream. Here we go. What's your name? My name is Vicky Barbalack. What are you going to be doing for us today? I'm a ballerina. No, I can't be a ballerina because I want dinner. I'm a comedian. You're a comedian. You know, comedy, I think, is one of the hardest things to do because you have to entertain a whole entire room and make us all laugh. Is that what's going on here? Shoot. I can't wait to see this. Good luck. All right. Thank you. Heidi, you're looking at me like you never saw a trophy wife in Los Angeles before. I'm sorry. I got to say, yesterday, I had a lot of nervous energy, and I decided I'd go out to Donnelly Men's Prison for a conjugal visit. It was, like, raining, three drops of rain. You know, in San Diego, that's like a blizzard, so it took, like, three hours to get out to Donnelly for the conjugal visit. And I'm not kidding you. I drive all the way out there, and it turns out, at Donnelly, you have to know somebody. Is that horrible? It's ridiculous. I hated that. Some things just don't make sense to me, like that Elon Musk guy. He can put a rocket up in the sky, you know, and it comes back down to Earth, lands on a paper cup, right? But nobody, nobody can design a bra that doesn't feel like recycled shrapnel. What's up? Right? I'm going to try one of yours. I need a bra. It's necessary, right? I take my bra off, my boobs fall down like a broken mini-blind. I'm serious. I mean it. This is all being taken care of. This is all. I'm in therapy. We're good. You know, it's like, it's status symbol today. Like, I'm in therapy. I'm in therapy. I feel insurance. It was actually a court order for me, okay? So, I'm not lying. And you have to be really careful with therapists. Like, it's their only job to find things wrong with you, right? This woman, she's like, so, Vicky, do you ever drink alone? No. Only alcoholics drink alone, right? I read all those pamphlets in your office, man. No. I always wait till the kids get home from school, right? Yes. Thank you. Emotional. What are you thinking? That was just the nicest thing that's, like, ever happened to me, pretty much, I think. Oh, so many things have happened to me in the last year. I said to myself, all I want to do is laugh. Right. You just made me properly belly laugh. Thank you. I loved you, too. To be honest, you had me already with your opening line. And if you need help with Roz, I can help you. Oh, I'm so excited. I'm all in. I can help you. Howard. I've always felt that there's this huge void for female comics since Joan Rivers is no longer with us. You know something? Tonight, in this moment, you just filled that void. You really do. You're so wonderful. Simon. I don't love stand-up comedy, I'm going to be honest with you. But you are the funniest person we've had on the show. I relate to you because there are times when you think the world has lost its sense of humor. I think you're an absolute little star. Congratulations. Thank you so much. I want to give you your first yes. Thank you. Definite yes from me. I love you. Thank you. Getting your third yes from me. Very good. You know, I'm shut down all the time because of my age and stuff. And I just wanted some validation. And I know that's wrong to want it, but I did. And I was so worried, you know. This was huge to me. And it went so well. I'm just so happy. Hey, how are you? You go away, we'll be right back. My name is Oliver Graves. I'm 32. I work retail jobs. And I am pursuing stand-up comedy. People have been saying for a long time that I should do stand-up comedy. Just because I was really good at, you know, making remarks in conversation. I think people have an idea of humor that there's a certain way to do it. And then laughter. Pursuing comedy has definitely not been what I thought. I don't always get the best reactions. I feel I'm still finding where I really fit. Tonight's really my chance to prove to people that I have a talent. I know it's not necessarily what everyone wants to see. But there will be people out there that want to see it. And it's okay that there's people that probably don't. I am like into this, because this is different. I don't know what's happening. But it's interesting. Hi. Welcome to America's Got Talent. Thank you. How are you feeling today? I'm okay. Okay. What's your name and where are you from? I'm Oliver Graves and I'm from Santa Rosa, California. How old are you? I'm 32. And what are you going to be doing for us? I am a stand-up comedian. Is that what you do? Yeah. Are you in a relationship or married? No, I'm not. I'm single. I think if this guy's perfect for you. Why? I think we should just let Oliver do what he's going to do. Okay. Go for it. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if you're poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important meal. I'm trying to find the woman of my dreams. But it's a struggle because I'm an insomniac. I tried online dating. And there'd be people that'd say, must love dogs. I didn't understand why. Like, I want to love a person. But it all made sense once I looked at the faces of the people that were saying that. Dating's really hard for me, like, compatibility-wise. Like, I'm a Virgo, so that means... Yeah. That means I'm only compatible with people that are really naive and believe in horoscopes. I traded in my car to get my interest rates lowered. It worked. Women are less interested in me. I once had my identity stolen. It's okay. They gave it right back. Thank you. You're so different. You're humble and real and dark. It's everything that I absolutely love. From the moment you walked out, your visual and your cadence and everything, and you're smart and you're bright. I think he didn't get the reaction you expected. So you're not used to this, are you? No. Is that why you're crying? I don't get booked on a lot of shows. Oh! You know, enjoy your free time right now because you are going to be a busy man. Well, Oliver, we have had a lot of stand-up comedians this year. Now, when I look back and I try and remember them all, they all blur into one type, apart from you. Let's kick this off with your first yes, brother. Thank you. I'm giving you your second yes. Big yes from me. Four yeses. Congratulations. It was funny. I love them. I like them a lot. Everything they're saying, I'm not the norm. It's great to hear it pay off. America's Got Talent, what is the name of your act? Okay. You know what? Good luck. Do it. Okay. The sound of a drop of water falling on the surface of water. You have to get the right angle. Oh, my God. It feels so good. Okay. My God. How many times are you sitting alone at home on the couch with your belly button going, what do I use this for? What is this for? I'm going to go home and I'm going to try that. I'm going to try that with a stranger. I love what they're doing. I really liked it. You're probably wondering what is a talent. I think what your talent is is making people laugh with really weird things that you do. Okay, Simon. There was a point halfway through where I'm thinking if you're just tuning in now, you're going to be going, what the hell am I watching? But you know what? This is one of the funniest things and the most stupid things I've seen on this show. And you two are hilarious. I think I was watching a completely different show. Let's vote. Let me start. Please, I want to give you your first yes. Laugh more in our lives, so I'm going to give you a yes. Well, I didn't laugh and I didn't really get it, so I have to say no. I am so honored to give you your third. So get it. Then you must have an outie. Do you have an outie? No, it's an innie. What's your name? Alex Hooper. That's me. And what are you going to be doing today, Alex? I'm going to be uniting the world through happiness, positivity, and comedy. Oh, we need that right now. Don't we, though? My name is Alex Hooper. I'm 32 years old. I'm from Los Angeles, California. It has truly become my mission to bring as much joy and happiness to everyone that I see. You look amazing today. Thank you so much. Positive energy is radiating through your skin, throughout your smile. Can I give you a hug? Of course you can give me a hug. Are you kidding me? I use every opportunity to do a little bit of good in the world. How are you doing, by the way? Do you want a drink of water? I always bring an extra one, so here, please, by all means. I want everyone I see to smile, to have a wonderful moment in their day because I suddenly became a part of it. I've seen the power of positivity, and I've seen the change that it can bring about in myself as well as others, and that's why I'm here. All right, well, they're waiting. You see the tail on him? Name, please. My name is Alex Hooper from Los Angeles, California. And tell me why you've entered the show this year. I just want to inspire the world through happiness, positivity, and comedy. I like that. I love a good, better life. Me too. All right, Alex, well, look, you've got about two minutes, so good luck. Thank you. Before I begin, I'd like to acknowledge your host, Tyra Banks. Tyra, I truly admire your courage. It must be so difficult to host a show like this and still find a way to make it about you. Somebody get his ass. Oh, that was just an appetizer. Howie Mandel. Yes. A Canadian judging America's Got Talent? What happened? Did they already find all three talented Canadians? I'm so glad you're here. I've always wanted to know what a big toe would look like if it were a person. Bobby's World, let's move on to Spice World. Oh, gosh. Mel B, Scary Spice, hey, the only thing scary about you is your solo career. You are magical. Four children, and yet your body looks as though you haven't paid attention to any of them. You are a natural beauty. Why does it look like your face went through a Sephora sample sale? Oh, my God. What? What are you going to say about Simon? Oh, I'm getting to him. Don't you worry. Simon, I'm confused. Didn't we form this country to get away from Brits like you? But Simon, from all of us, thank you for fixing your British teeth. Those things are so straight and white, they were just offered positions in Trump's cabinet. Okay, well, I don't know where this one's going to go, but let's start with Howie. Um, no. Takes one to know one. Heidi? I hope you had fun, and I hope you got all your anger out. No. For me, it's enough. Can I be honest with you? Yes. I think you're really funny. Thank you so much, Simon. As in to giving me a chance. She did make me laugh, even what you said about me, so you got a yes from me. Thank you. Okay. By the way, I know how this feels, but good luck. Take care. It feels amazing, thank you. Get off! Exercise is so weird. That's what you got out of this?