HILARIOUS Comedians that got MILLIONS OF VIEWS on BGT!

And are you married is that a proposal When my chicken has a birthday I don't tell him Because he would not understand Good evening. Good evening. What's your name? I'm mickey mickey. Yeah. Do you have a day job or is this your full-time job? I am a part-time primary school teacher Enjoying your food Yeah, you gotta wait, you know Stage is yours. Mickey go for it. Thank you very much. Cheers. This is called the absolutely amazing song Yes About traveling around europe. Oh that rhymes I like it. I'm off to paris in a yaris This next song I know this is supposed to be a comedy routine, but i've i've suffered loss recently So I just want to get this off my chest I um, joe i'll play the song because i'd get a bit emotional talking about it I can't believe i've lost you I can't believe you've gone I need you to know that You did nothing wrong The first time I saw you Just hanging there The checkout lady said do you want to buy one of these and I said, all right, go on then. Yeah You were my bag for life A bag for life You cost almost 10 pence and I only used you twice The other bags I use compared to you are slack Always feel that the handle strap is gonna Has happened to you a lot as well Hello, how are you? Uh, i'm nervous, but i'm happy to be here. Oh good. What's your name? My name's craig Craig ball what's brought you to britain scotts island? Um I've had people tell me I should come on and I thought maybe finally I should just do it for myself um Because I don't usually believe myself, but I feel like I do for once Okay, take it away. Yeah We clawed we chained our hearts in vain we jumped but never asking why He kissed I fell under your spell a love that no one could deny Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you It was to break your walls how you ever did was Me I can't live away A brilliantly original way to do impressions. It is fun And I love that so many of those were ones you you never see people do impressions of really really brilliant act. Thank you That was so funny and like davidson original Didn't I expect that well done craig when it first started because I didn't think you actually did sound like morgan freeman I thought you were singing some tribute to him or something And then I realized what was going on It was current it was clever I think we may have discovered a big star Thank you so much. It's one million percent. Yes. Thank you so much. It's a yes for me Yes for me You have four yeses. Congratulations Hello. Hello. Hi. What is your name? I'm told you and how old are you 40? And are you married? Is that a proposal? No, not married not to my knowledge And what is it that you're doing for us today? Uh stand up impressions brilliant We wish you all the best. Yes. Thank you I love tv man. Anybody here remember blind date? ladies and gentlemen It's blind today and here's your host misszilla black Oh We've got three bonnie lads behind that screen I didn't expect to meet you And here's the gorgeous girl who's gonna meet him her name's amanda come in amanda You know, i'd love to see the screen goes back. She doesn't like the look of the guy. She makes it clear Why do you always come to the club with a friend that doesn't look as cute as you Yes, and guys just as you're about to get the cute ones number the friend comes along and messes it up completely Yes, let me set the scene alicia. Oh, you're kind of cute. Oh, you're cute too. Here comes the friend Then they turn to their friend who is he who is he who is he Then they turn back to you. Are you huh? You look like a nutter you act like a nutter Can you prove you're not a nutter exactly what I thought you are a nutter If i'm not getting a man no one's getting a man Total recall predator commando action films. I love them favorite action hero. Arnold schwarzenegger Yes Because schwarzenegger is always asking questions What the hell is going on I do wrong And he's always trying to explain his drama to other people that don't care. Uh, some men just tried to kill me I think they were spies or something harry from work He was the boss blood on my shirt blood on my hands blood on my knife. He tried to take my life get down Lovely to see you again. Nice to see you too. Okay, remind everybody of your name Uh, my name is got this candice. Do you know this is the only comedian i've ever found funny? Well, look gatus welcome back the stage is yours good luck all of it, okay, okay Thank you So, you know the now is after a few cold days. It's getting warm outside And I like the warm weather because it makes me warmer That that's my warm-up joke When my chicken has a birthday I don't tell him Because he would not understand Um, so yeah, I have another animal joke, uh wolf wolf wolf wolf That's a joke. You can take home for your dog Simon have you got a dog three? Will you tell your dogs my joke? I was thinking about that when you said it. Yeah, let me hear it. Woof. Woof. Woof Not not sure they're gonna understand can you try it with my accent Oh, thank you for making me sound so sexy So does anybody like seeing couples kissing public? No, no, well I do And every time I do I always go up to them and I stare directly at them And usually they stop and then then they ask me do you mind and i'm like, I don't mind My name is gattis kandis and in case you want to follow me, uh, this is what I look like from behind Thank you Oh gattis You know, I absolutely love you Thank you. Your jokes are just ridiculous and I like how you deliver them which is just like you've accidentally found the stage Your jokes are so stupid I find that funny. Thank you Gattis you are a real original and anyone who doesn't get it is thick You know what you're kind of sexy as well. Oh, yeah I'm gonna say yes It's yes from me It's a yes from me Four yeses gattis. Well done What's your name francine lewis francine lewis And do you have a day job francine? Well, i'm a mum a mum of two so I do my impressions to entertain everyone when I can okay best of luck Let's do it Oh my god. Oh my god I'm, so excited It's like being on the x-factor all over again Oh my god, I just love being a celebrity When my agent said I was doing an advert for iceland. I rushed out to get a woolly hat a woolly coat and a passport Definitely You'll come to i'm your child's a6. I work in a6. I live in a6. It's all about a6 fell a6 I think I'll shout There's only one pricey As you know my private life, you'll know i've just got married again I organized it all the church the honeymoon and the divorce lawyer I'm holly willoughby There's your face holly willoughby present everything on itv Guys because tonight I reunite you with the gorgeous cheryl cole Hey Oh my god Even to see you seaman My friend and me I don't want to cry because i'm gonna my eyelashes are full of Wow, oh, that was so lovely. That was incredible brilliant impressions Brilliant choices of people all none of which I've seen before Amazing to be funny and beautiful. I thought it was just me but You are too Whatever happens in this competition, you are amazing at what you do. I'm speechless Thank you. Really when you started doing stacy solomon, you didn't even have to speak. He was just the first noise. I knew who it was Oh my god Those impressions were fantastic normally, I don't know who half these people are they were current funny the dialogue was good Um, and you look amazing and you put everything together I really do think we're looking at a future star It's a yes You've got four yeses Hi Sorry a bit nervous Who are you? I'm phil w green. Um, i'm 21 and i'm going to be doing comedy impressions Philip do you do this full-time? No, I don't know. What do you do? I work at body shop at the moment as a customer consultant, but your dream is to be a big Yes, i'd love to be on stage Philip did you bring anyone with you? So, uh, yeah, my friend christie. Does she work at body shop? She did but she's recently left why because she found a better job Found a better job Where um, she now works, um at barrett's so shoes I hope he's good after all of this. Okay. Well look philip. You've got roughly two minutes. Let's do it. Okay i'm nettley cassidy And today We're going to be health working out. So everyone put your hands out in front of you spread your legs and do some squats Lie down the baby on martin fowler's sofa, isn't there a dog pot would be proud wouldn't she? It's so nice to be here on my new show And today's guest is absolutely fantastic. You know what i'm gonna meet her. Hello. Oh, thanks for having this show And then oh i'll tell you go out of the jungle recently, oh my god, I mean I saw those ones And then I saw even more ones And then it's been sick everywhere Oh my goodness. Have you seen the bacteria in here? It is awful. Isn't that right kim? Oh my love That stinks Darling, it's me louise The brilliant thing about your act was that you had us laughing before you even did anything wrong. Thanks amanda David you're like a butch version of me. Um You're very very funny guy I'd like to see Some more of you in the act as well because you are hysterically funny as you as well Are you sure you're not related to stacy solomon, I wish I was I've seen her from a distance and I was like I think you're really funny lovable. Do you need a wee? No, no. No, i'm just really nervous. Sorry It was like the world record for how many impersonations you can do in two minutes I found it difficult to keep up with some of them the ones that were were great But you are a naturally funny guy, oh, thanks Slightly bonkers But I like that You're gonna take a boat David yes or no i'm gonna say yes It's a yes from me Uh, and we have actually had some good impressionists on the show this year Uh, so you have got some competition But I am going to say Yes That's four yeses How are you i'm good i'm really really good I was not expecting to see you today I've known kojo for many many years kojo. I'll let you tell my fellow judges about yourself. I'm a stand-up comedian Um been doing comedy for 20 years Um, i've spent most of those 20 years Encouraging young comedians and helping big-name comedians and opening up for them and my new fiance We've we've got a little boy called roman who's here as well And she said that it was about time that I started thinking about myself and my son Who makes you laugh? Simon cowell That's funny, okay. Well look kojo, you know the show three minutes do you stop good luck darling, thank you very much So ladies and gentlemen, i'm a new dad for the first time But all I want to do is be better than my dad, right? My dad had no patience Right me and my best friend michael murphy after school every day. We'd play football on the estate I had the parent who would ruin that game by calling me inside for something. I didn't think was necessary Only you would hear because I got african parents, right? My dad would shout like could you come here? Now michael always had confrontation with my dad he was like coach coach coach what's going on mate The coach you're a big man. You're 11 You go in there you tell him that this enough's enough now ladies and gentlemen There was a little part of me that believed in michael's spirit But then I remembered he don't live in my house So I turned to my dad. I said dad. What's up go to the store And get me ribena Ladies and gentlemen, this is all I said dad Can't you get it yourself It was 1 p.m, but it got dark real quick The pigeons weren't even flying anymore. They came down to warn me Ladies and gentlemen, I don't have any jokes. I got problems Have you ever been to a bank right because i'm not really Happy with the customer services that we get at banks nowadays, right? Have you ever gone into a bank you've seen four available windows four But there's only one person working Then you get the woman that works there who walks past the queue and says don't worry. She won't be long go and help her Why are you out here? You get to the cashier because it's your turn right? They've now given the cashiers microphones. Yeah, so everybody can hear your financial situation I'm right here. I can hear you right and i'm already embarrassed about the amount that I need. So I was discreet, right? I was like Can I get one pound 50, please That weren't enough for her she had to talk into the mic and get into my business Sorry, sir. You need a pound to keep the account open I'm, like why are you shouting? But I told you I needed the rest of what was in my account. So I said to her, please can I get that 50 pence? She said to me, how'd you want that? I was like in silence I was so frustrated that I rushed out of the bank I rushed out to be greeted by the most creative homeless person I have ever met He rushed up to me. He said look mate. I know you're in a rush But can I please get 20 pence to get something to eat? Ladies and gentlemen, I looked at him and said, you know where to eat for 20 pence I said mate i'm coming with you I've got dinner for the both of us When you when you're broke, right and you ain't got no money There's certain things that you can't enjoy like a cab driver. You can't enjoy the black cab ride You can't enjoy it, right? I went into a black cab recently me and my mate we jumped in He was getting comfortable. Clearly. He's got more money than me. He was looking outside the window Talking to the driver. He fell asleep Ladies and gentlemen, when you ain't got no money, you only look at one thing the meter The experience in a black cab is the most awful thing ever they charge you before you even speak to the driver You step in 250. Hold on a minute You sit down three pound. Hey Let's discuss this Ladies and gentlemen, it's got to a point where I don't even have a destination when I get into a black cab When a driver says where do you want to go? I say take me to five pound Very good, my name is kojo. Thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen So Kojo when you came on I loved hearing about how you grafted how you've honed your act how you've now got your little family Yeah, and the actress got better and better and then by the end you were like, yeah, I'd pay money to see this man Congratulations so much I'm so happy right now. I've always respected you. My respect level for you has just gone way up there my friend and uh, Let's see how far you can take it. Thank you very much Well, you know when someone's really funny there is nothing much to say other than you are brilliantly funny you made everyone laugh Um, you've kind of got all bases covered as a comedian. You're brilliantly likable. You've got fantastic observational routines I think you did yourself really proud today Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you What was quite amazing was I felt that you were nervous then I could see The audience reacting you and you reacting to them But i'm going to be honest with you because I don't really like comedians on this show But I love you You are so funny and so unpredictable you just got the most amazing energy This is the break you've been waiting for. Thank you. So I could not be happy with you. Enjoy this I'm from south norfolk. What's your day job ben? Uh, I do this act Okay, i'm not going to ask what it is because we like surprises lush Uh, tell me why you've entered the show this year Well, my my two little boys they say come on daddy. You've got to be on britain's got talent So you've got sons you've got kids i've got two children. Okay, anything else? Yeah. Uh, well they did have a cat Yeah I won't go there. I've been good luck. Thank you ever so much Well, you see I think my little stick now is all about I mean, uh mishearing lyrics in music See, I mean it all started when I went to see the lion king. Anybody see the lion king? Oh, I must have misheard something right because I thought the first song was about the arsenal club football manager Oh What I did then right had a little thing to myself I thought oh, maybe there's other songs right that you can hear that you think maybe they're singing something different, right? So i've amalgamated loads and it's just for you Hit it surely Thanks for listening brilliantly funny perfect for the raw variety. Oh, it's so fast-paced. It's so funny That was fantastic. And honestly, we could watch you forever and ever and you're so lovely What a great character can't wait to see more this kind of act normally it was it was so silly so funny Your energy is amazing. It was absolutely brilliant. Good for you. I'm really happy Thanks for ruining some of our favorite songs It's a yes from me. It's a yes from me ben langley. I'm thrilled to tell you you've got four years to congratulate Hello, what's your name? Hello My name is lee and for obvious reasons. I'm also known as the lost voice guy Okay, and how long have you lost your voice? I just knew you were going to ask something that I hadn't thought about beforehand So, please excuse the awkward silence while I type out my answer I've been speechless for 37 years. Wow. Tell me why you decided to enter the show this year I think I entered britain's got talent for the same reason everyone does to meet anton deck This is all going so well up until that point The stage lee is yours Hello, ladies and gentlemen As you may be able to tell i'm a struggling stand-up comedian who also struggles to stand up To be honest, i'm not sure how good I am I'll leave that for you to decide But just so you know if you don't laugh at the disabled guy you are going to hell When I realized i'd never be able to talk again I was speechless I have lived in newcastle all my life. Yes, but for some reason I still haven't picked up the accent I can see that some of you are trying to figure out where you know me from Maybe it would help if I started saying phrases such as the next train to arrive on platform four And from my time at the post office, please go to cashier number eight I got the train here today I always like to sit in those seats for disabled people I was about halfway here when another disabled person got on and asked me to move I didn't realize i'd be playing disabled top trumps when I got on or I would have dressed more special Needless to say I didn't give up my seat Who cares if he was both blind and deaf? I was there first It was very awkward He couldn't see that I was still there and I couldn't tell him I wasn't moving because I can't speak Before I leave you I have one more thing to say I hate that we have so many politically correct words to describe disabled people now It's all special needs special schools special olympics I don't know what is so special about me That is why it always alarms me when I hear about special forces going to war You've been a fantastic audience Goodbye Ladies and gentlemen, I have noted that recently britain's got talent Has suffered enormously there have been far too many below average variety acts And i'm not referring to alicia dixon Ladies and gentlemen On behalf of the palladium theater, I invite you to stand and welcome her majesty That's why there's a throne That's right, mr. Cowell the boss is finally here It's so good to see a member of the royal family sitting next to simon it's lovely to see you camilla It is rare indeed for the sovereign To appear on such an insignificant occasion But as I look down on you all I am happy to patronize you Queens have always patronized the arts and the arts have relied upon the support of queens It is with regret ladies and gentlemen, I have noted that recently britain's got talent Has suffered enormously there have been far too many below average variety acts And i'm not referring to alicia dixon I'm sure you all agree that plastic is the modern skirt on the face of this planet Of all the men and women of these islands no greater innovation has been made Than by our judging panel Who have stored a great amount of plastic? in their faces That direction For their services to the entertainment industry and and deck as well as david williams have been awarded obe Simon there is only one thing standing between you and the knighthood and that's the golden buzzer I have much pleasure ladies and gentlemen And declaring the search for talent in great britain officially open Lovely to see you again, man It was really really funny really unexpected. I could just watch this forever. I think Family would absolutely love you. I have to say the most original funny most brutal acts loved it I want to say thank you for finally agreeing to come on the show after all these years And you're funny. I didn't know that So Now we get to the important part baby your majesty It's a yes from me Ma'am, it's a yes from me I want you to perform in front of you on the royal variety So it's four yeses