STRANDED IN THE DESERT!!

Gunfighters for hire. Hey, I've got somebody I want to kill. You guys available at two on Thursday? So we're going to Joshua Tree to pick up my son, who's on a camping trip for school, but he needs to go to New York tonight with his mom. And his mom made this plan, which is they're going to New York, and I guess she didn't realize the camping trip was like abutting, so I've got to go get him. She asked me like three weeks ago. She called me upset, and then of course I say yes. I can't believe I agreed to this. Like, when will I learn? Like, when, when, when, when will I learn? I feel like people in the audience are like, what a dipshit. Like, then just say no, idiot. And I'm like, but I can't say no. My best friend Tommy's like kind of the same. He's kind of a pushover. We should have brought Tommy. Tommy would have been like, yeah, dude, you're doing the right thing. Hey. It's just really far. It's two and a half hours. Can't you go to New York another weekend? All right. I'll see you soon. My parents got divorced, and I remember they remained like really close friends. I could see my dad doing this exact same thing. We had a dog when we were little, and then we moved to a new apartment, but the new apartment wouldn't take dogs. So my dad stepped up and he took the dog. And he kept the dog for eight, nine years, but he always brought it out. He'd call me and he'd be like, you gonna come see your dog? This dog was really funny. He lived in the city in Boston. He used to let the dog roam like the streets of Boston. It was odd, but the dog would come home every night. The dog was a person. He would go out and go to like a local bar. And then he would hang out with these like drunks at the bar all day. That's actually pretty cool. And chill. And then around five o'clock, the dog would get hungry and he would walk a few blocks home. And the dog would just, he would claw the back door. My dad would be like, well, it looks like Joshie boy's home. And then he'd go downstairs. He'd let the dog in. The dog would be like, yo, what's up? I'm ready to eat. Anyway, that's something. I'm not sure if you're my filmer as much as my therapist. That's crazy. Imagine being in jail in town like this. And you're like here every day. Sup Walter. Did you see the shootout in the middle of the road? Why do you think I'm in here? I was in the shootout. Don't you think this would be quite awesome if you were? Yeah, yeah. Up by the fire. You're up by the fire and then you're like, okay. And you're just like, oh, I just want to put something out. It's like easy. I don't want to be warm, you know? It's like a one stop shop exception. You don't bend over in it. It's like a donut. Well, have fun guys. All right, you too. Do you want to try this on? I mean, you might want it. I might as well. Yeah, you should try it on. I think you're going to grant me a wish or something. Wait a minute. What is happening with your videoing here? What is going on? We're about to do ayahuasca, so. Oh God, dang it. We came to get you guys. The guy was telling me, he's like, he did have to be held back, like down. He like got a little off the rails. Which is like, I know it. I know I got the rails. And I also like to be like, I'm a wanderer. So then I'd be like, oh, you disappeared to Mexico for a while. I know. Whenever I see like women my age, I'm always like, is this someone I'm going to meet? Like someone's my girlfriend. It's really pathetic. I was getting the same vibe. I know, but what am I going to do? Commute to Portland. I've been like freaking out for the last hour. Yeah. Cause I didn't know if we could like, even make it to Wyatt. But I just found out that there's a supercharger in the town, 29th hall. So we'll just make it. You were freaking out. No good deed goes unpunished. Have you ever heard that? No. Like I'm doing a good deed, but of course, I'm getting ---- on the entire time. What's up guys? We're out here in the desert, looking for aliens. Got our trusty drone here. We just saw Demi Lovato and her crew. It's very like, the robots are taking over the world. The way it just sits there like. I will get to know you and earn your trust, but then we will take over the world. Now send it. Full send. And then just grab the little body. I got it. What do I do now? What do I do? Land it. Huh? Land it. He landed. Yo, this is sick. They were camping out here? It looks fake. This was a pain in the ass, but it's all worth it when you see them. Were you able to find us? Yeah, it was pretty easy. He gave me his location and then that was it. How was it? It was good. Was it fun? Yeah. Hi. You need a shark costume? Why, what do you think of Jet Z? Just another one. Oh, damn, that's deep. He's so right. Because people do get upset about like the generations and stuff. It's literally the same every time. It's just now they all have phones and they can. Part of the discussion when we made the decision to do this, you said I'll send someone, it's no big deal, okay? But don't sign me up for things. You know I just say yes. It's so far. And I had to charge like five times. I should have just given you my car. But we'll be there soon. Pretty soon. If the car makes it, though. Oh, God. What time did you leave where he was? At like two o'clock? Yeah, it's like three and a half hours of traffic. All righty, I'll see you later. I tried to make her feel as bad as possible. Ha ha ha. Target detected. Ha ha ha. Fat old YouTuber.