The Autistic Delicatessen S4 E5 | Shalese Heard (The Autistic Travel Goddess)

Welcome to the Autistic Delicatessen. What you eat, what you drink, is your story. You know, variety is the spice of life. Food is often people's first experience of a new culture. Welcome to the Autistic Delicatessen. Season 4. So, Shelise, welcome to the Autistic Delicatessen. Yes. Thank you for having me. Hi. It's great to have you here with us today. Yes, ma'am. It's so wonderful to be here. And it's so nice to meet you guys. Now, Shelise, you know, you're known as the Autistic travel goddess. And, you know, like, with you traveling different places, it's just so interesting. So before we get into that, I want to ask you about a post that you put up about bubble tea. And you talk about Tidu, which was actually one of the places that you've been to, as well as Kung Fu Tea. So do you want to, like, talk to us a little bit about that, how you liked the bubble teas or what attracted you to that first? Bubble tea. Me and bubble tea have such a long history. When I was in college, I had a friend of mine who introduced it to me. And ever since then, it's been an addiction. So I typically get the honey green tea with aloe in it because I love the aloe beer texture. And I like that taste that the deep green tea gives me, especially the jasmine tea. That's like a really rich kind of bittersweet taste to it that I can't resist. And so I get those from both shops. And when I was living in Philadelphia at the time, when I was introduced to this by a classmate, I was living in Philadelphia. And I would go get on the train and go to Chinatown and get it because it was so good. And at the time, I only had access to Tito. I didn't know anything about Kung Fu. So I was going to Tito for years, you know, throughout my college years. And when I moved back to Atlanta, I moved back to Georgia. There was no Tito around. So I was struggling to find someone who knew just how to make the honey green tea just the way I like it. It's been a struggle. And I finally found someone who makes it close to the way I was used to with Tito. And Kung Fu is the name of the place. I actually discovered it when I was in Atlanta shopping around and I was strolling around looking for bubble tea. And I found somebody who finally knew how to have it with the aloe in it because it was hard to find that as well. The honey jasmine with the aloe. That's been a tough combination to find. And I finally found it and I started ordering it on the app, getting points, getting awards and stuff. And, you know, because it was the only one I had access to in Atlanta, I would drink it, you know, to de-stress. I would drink it at the work. I would drink it, you know, just pretty much every day just because it calms my nerves. And it's just yummy and amazing. And I've gotten so used to Kung Fu's tea that when I moved up here to Boston and I finally had a chance to go back to Tito that I was originally used to. Tito tastes like water compared to Kung Fu because Kung Fu makes their stronger. So I can't even get down with Tito anymore. So it's more of like Tito is just like goodbye, like, you know, we done with Tito right there. Because Kung Fu's makes their stronger. In comparison, Tito tastes like water now. Oh, wow. So it's like I gave him three chances. I gave him three chances to make it right. And they don't compare. Now, you said you were in college in Philadelphia. Yes, I was actually. Yeah. How did you like living there and going to school there? I enjoyed it because, you know, it was always something to do there. It was always history and something to explore. I like being, you know, in the tri-state area because I had easy access to other states, to the Jersey beaches, to New York City. I'm from New York and my husband's from Philly. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, yeah, the cheesesteaks. I'm sure you had some good cheesesteaks out there. Oh, my God. There's this really good cheesesteak place called Two Brothers right by Temple University. Yes, yes. Heard of them. My dad's born and raised Philadelphia. And every time you take a family trip to Philly, we go to Two Brothers and get a cheesesteak. Yeah, you have to have it. You cannot go to Philadelphia and not have it. It's like a sandwich. You know, I prefer the cheesesteak. Oh, these are good. But, you know, the cheesesteak is always the thing. The cheesesteak and Philly Chinese food is amazing. Yes. And I'm from New York. So, you know, I'm also like a snob when it comes to like the Chinese food. So you guys have very good Chinese, too, in Philly. So it's the best of all worlds. You have good pizza, good Chinese and obviously the cheesesteaks. Yes, a lot of good eating in Philly. Yes, like definitely Philly cheesesteaks, because I've been to like over here, like like Charlie's with their Philly cheesesteaks. They're really good with their stuff. So I don't know if you ever had Charlie's or anything. So I have here in Arizona. I live in Arizona now. Oh, you live in Arizona? I moved five years ago. So it's like a whole thing because, you know, like you and like Lornell, I'm foodie. So it's really hard. So we we went to Charlie O's, you know, and OK, Lornell, you have to go to Philly. It has to be on your list of places to go. And then you have a lot of Dutch food, too. Like you have access to good old Dutch cooking because the Amish people and the Dutch people live not too far from Philly, in Harrisburg and in central Philly. And so they tend to come, you know, to Philly to sell their baked goods. They sell their homemade cooking. They go to this place called Reading Terminal, which is in China, right outside of Chinatown, in center city Philly. Reading Terminal is where they sell all their handmade goods, their baked goods, their foods. And they have their like beets and stuff like that. That's very fresh and farm fresh. And they know how to cook like good German Dutch food is amazing. Absolutely agree. A hundred percent. It's like you like don't you wish like you could spread yourself and like have a little piece of you. A little piece over there and a little piece over there. Yes. Yes. Like all of this talk of Philly makes me hungry. Me too. Now I want a cheese steak. I have to wait till June. I'm going in June. And I've come to New England looking for a good cheese steak and they all fail. And I'm just like, why are you five hours from Philly and don't know how to make a cheese steak? How? And what's the specialty where you are now? Clam chowder, lobster, which I love clam chowder. It is so creamy and delicious. Yes. I like seafood, period. The fish selection up here, though, tends to be drier. Like there's a lot of haddock and cod here. There is bluefish, you know, on a selection and there is salmon, which I love. But I tend to find that the fish selection here is way different than the fish selection in the South. That, you know, when I was born and raised, I was actually raised in the South. I was born in Philadelphia, but I was raised in the South. And so, like, I'm used to all the seafood. What part of the South were you in? Was it in Georgia or was it? So I was born in Philadelphia at first. I spent my elementary school years in Charlotte, North Carolina and Fayetteville, North Carolina, because my dad was stationed in Fort Bragg. And so we spent part of my childhood there. And we got to live in Charlotte. We got to live in Fayetteville. And when I was a teenager, my family moved to Atlanta and I spent the rest of my teenage years in Atlanta. Now, in terms of the fish, is it more of like you ever had like fried fish or something like that? Because I know like, you know, us as I don't want to stereotype, but just us as black folks in the South, we would have like fish fries and all that stuff. Oh, yeah, I eat honestly, I personally like my fish sauteed, baked, fried, like I like it cooked all ways. I don't discriminate when it comes to fish. But I find when it comes to fried fish, it's cooked differently in the North. Like I find that it's cooked heavily in cornmeal a lot of times and the batter tends to be thicker. And in the South, it's more of a lighter batter. That's just from my experience that I've seen. And I had to get used to that when I was in college. I couldn't get used to that because the batter was just too thick. And I'm not into that cornmeal batter. And then you have to like fight your way into it. Yes. Yes. That's just like ruin the experience of having flour. And also, I want to get into this too, because we're talking about food, but I want to get into like the beginnings of your travel excursions, because you have such nice pictures and such good videos. I'm just wondering, how did you first get started in that? And also, like, tell us a little bit about your like autistic story and how you came into like loving yourself for that. I remember, you know, growing up, how I came into traveling. It was a special interest of mine or, you know, as they call it, obsession. I love, you know, different countries, different places. I love just like being in the world. I remember I would spend my hours watching Discovery Channel, watching, you know. The Travel Channel, reading encyclopedias about the places I want to see one day. And I remember I specifically every year I would have a new place that I was obsessed with. Like one year I was obsessed with Hawaii, and then one year it was China, it was Alaska, it was Russia one year. Like every year I would pick one country that I would just be fixated on, or let me just say this, it would just kind of choose me. And then I would just like delve into it and just take on the culture. And I just became super fascinated by it. The country that wowed me the most was Iceland. And I'm going to tell you why, because it is, I'm really, I'm a geological nerd. I love geology. That's what I studied in undergrad. And I just was really fascinated by the way that the landscape was, like the different volcanic areas, the geysers, and just how geologically active it is. And just to see, you know, coursework come to life was just amazing to me. And it just felt like I was on another planet when I saw that. And what was so amazing about everything was the fact that it didn't get dark. When I was there, I actually went twice. I went in the winter and I went in the summer, and it did not get dark in the summer. It was two o'clock in the morning. I was riding around looking for dinner because I realized I was so engulfed in exploring that I did not eat dinner. I was riding. I mean, did you get sleepy? I mean, like if it's 2 a.m. and it's like super bright. I did it because I was still on Eastern time. I was still getting adjusted to Eastern time because I just landed that day. And so I didn't even feel sleepy. I was still used to, you know, being five hours behind. I was riding around wondering why everything was closed. Why even a convenience store was closed. And then I looked at my phone and I'm like, oh, it's two in the morning. No wonder everything's closed. But it was bright as heck outside. I couldn't even sleep. I actually went to my Airbnb trying to go back to sleep while I tried to go to sleep for the night. Couldn't even do it because it was daylight out and it was hard to get used to that. You needed those thick curtains. Yes. Blackouts. And then when I was there earlier that year in the winter, the sun did not rise until 1030 that morning. And it set at three o'clock that evening. So we had a short day. And that was amazing to watch. When were you first diagnosed as somebody who's autistic? And when did you start? I was two. You were two. So you were early diagnosed. Yes. Same here. I was early diagnosed too as well. Two years old. So I was nonverbal until I was five. I didn't speak until I was five. And they also said that I had a lot of repetitive behaviors as well. That I would be rocking back and forth and just kind of zoning out, as they say. And then they also said I did not interact with other kids. I just would kind of keep to myself a lot. And the other thing that I think may have played a role into this, and there's still research being done on this. I'm sure you are aware. I had hearing problems at the time. I actually was partially deaf at the time. I could not hear. And I had to get surgery done to make it so I could hear. And so that may have had some kind of connection to autism. Research is still trying to find out whether or not that's true. That's kind of interesting, though. Because I know from my experience, it was more of a behavioral type of thing. I know I had to go on a special diet in order to change food. So for you, did you have any sensory issues with food? Or were you kind of okay with that? I did. And this is something that I did not realize until I got grown. And I look back at my eating patterns. I very much had a problem with certain textures. And that is why my mom would cook certain food and I just wouldn't eat it. That's why I never liked bread, for instance. I had the hardest time in my childhood eating sandwiches because I couldn't deal with the texture of bread. And that is why I couldn't enjoy things like cereal or grits or oatmeal and things like that. I never understood it until I got older and realized that I just simply couldn't deal with certain textures. Now, for that part, was it more of the dry textures? Because, of course, my taste was different. I could have cereal and have the bread-type stuff, like the sourdough bread and all that stuff. But for you, that was just more of like it was hard. Was it dry? Was it because of that? I actually like it harder and crispier. But my problem is I couldn't deal with the mushiness of it, the mushier textures or the grainy textures. In my case, I have a 13-year-old who's nonverbal and he has a lot of issues with the sensory and with eating, the textures, all of that. And it's interesting because I've always been curious, like, what is it about the texture of something, let's say mashed potatoes or, you know, or rice or pasta that, you know, maybe make, like, what do you feel? I know there was a time whenever I would eat something that was too mushy. This is why to this day as an adult, I don't like my pasta too mushy. I actually kind of like it super al dente or even slightly undercooked. Because if I eat it too mushy, I kind of get nauseated. And I can't even explain why, but it's something about it that's painful to me when I eat it when it's too mushy. Yeah, that's interesting. It's interesting to hear about sensory foods and textures, you know, because, you know, like we all like, just to clarify, all autistic people are not monoliths. We all have different things, you know, some things we can eat and some things we can't eat. So from that, it's interesting that you have something like that, Chalice, and you still are able to travel and go out to these very different restaurants. Like, do you ever think about that when you look at the menu and think, like, okay, what can I have and not have? Because I know that when I went out, I had to have, like, a special type of ketchup, a special type of mayonnaise and all that stuff, you know, because of the behavioral chemical imbalance and all that type of stuff. I had to, like, have more of, like, specialty type stuff. That's crazy. Another thing is that there are certain restaurants that I avoid when I realize that they have certain foods that I don't like. Like, if there's certain brands that I know I can't tolerate, then I avoid it. Or I, like, find a way to excuse myself once I find out on the menu that there's a certain brand that they use that I can't handle. Or a lot of times I'll ask, you know, if there's an accommodation that they can make and they make an extra al dente. For instance, if I go to an Italian restaurant and, you know, I like pasta and I don't want it too mushy, I'll ask them if I can have it freshly made and if it's al dente. And if they say that it's bulk made and that they can't make it specifically on an individual basis, then I just don't get the pasta. I might get something like, you know, a seafood or salad or something like that. So I make sure to ask depending on what it is, how the food is prepared. And a lot of times I even, you know, cook my own food. Like, a lot of times I'll book an Airbnb or I'll book a hotel where I have a kitchen to actually cook my own food as well. I try to open up that option to myself just in case restaurants are not accommodating. It's so interesting with your story, though. So I know that also, too, when you travel, you also STEM, too, as well. You know, when I go out to places, I've learned how to STEM and enjoy it because in the past, it was just more of like I had to watch myself or something like that. As long as I'm not hurting people or anything like that, that's the biggest thing, though. But you like to travel by yourself and STEM. So why is that? You know, is it more of like you can be more freer that way? I feel more free that way because when I'm traveling with other people, it feels like I'm restricted and that I have to hide certain parts of myself. And so I just don't have the freedom to be myself that I enjoy when I travel solo. And also when I travel and I'm able to STEM, like, for instance, one of the things I do to STEM is I may rub my feet in the carpet at a hotel room or, you know, after a long day of hiking, I may rub my feet in the carpet. Or when I STEM, I actually STEM by, you know, certain visualizations, certain scenery that I look at. That's why I tend to travel to remote places, you know, like national parks and things like that, because looking at the landscape is kind of STEMing to me. And so when I'm traveling with people, they don't always want to see that. And they don't. And then a lot of people want to question me as to why I'm rubbing my feet in the carpet or why I'm rocking back and forth. And I don't feel like answering questions like that. I don't want to deal with people asking me things like that. And so it's just better to travel solo. I get those feelings, though, because when I go out to concerts and I just start STEMing, just like doing stuff like this and all that stuff, it's just it's more of like the musical sound texture. And sometimes people just say like, oh, we're trying to conduct like an orchestra. I'm doing stems right there or something like that, because because that's why I do, because I just feel that when I feel the rhythm, it's just it just I just do this and all that stuff. You know, your body, your body just goes with the flow of what it's listening to. And then you get like an input from that, like a satisfaction. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like euphoria. Oh, yeah. Yeah. My son does that, too. He stems a lot. He does different kinds of stemming than he also does verbal ones like like humming and all that. And now that his voice has changed and he sounds like a man, it's so weird. But I know that it makes him feel better. So do what you got to do, you know? Yeah. And I was about to say, like, well, imagine if like that sounded like Bilky's husband or something like that. It's like, honey, it's not like not right now, honey. I'm trying to do it. I'm trying to do some work here, OK? Right. We're doing that later. Well, that's what happens when my husband's home, because he's running around and he's stemming and making the noises. So now that he's older and obviously has a deeper voice, like people think it's like a man, you know, like, you know, so it's it's it's. Eventually, you know, like I try not to take that voice away because it's his voice. Right. That's what he does. And it makes him happy. But when we go out, I do have to be like, no voice, low voice. Because it sounds like other things sometimes. In order for people to like really know more about your food excursions as well as your travels, what social media outlets should they go to? They should go to Instagram because I'm always on Instagram. YouTube is another one. I'm known as the autistic travel goddess on YouTube. And also, I'm about to start a Patreon, you know, as a result of my YouTube channel. I'm about to start Patreon, which is filled with my life experiences about traveling to where you want to go in life. And that does not include just traveling to places. It's not just about traveling to places, but it's about, you know, reaching your goals, you know, getting what you want out of life, getting the relationships you want. You know, getting the finances or the career you want to. So that's what my platform is about to be expanded into. I'm also on Facebook as Autistic Travel Goddess as well. So those are my three platforms that I tend to be active on. And where can we see you next? Where's the next trip to? The next trip to, you're getting ready to see a lot of Boston content since I recently relocated here. And the next trip after that, it might be somewhere in Canada again. Yeah, I hear it's beautiful and you're very close. Yeah, we are. We're like four hours from Montreal, 12 hour drive from Halifax, Nova Scotia. Oh, my God. Perfection. Niagara Falls up there too. You can. Yes, Niagara Falls is very close to Buffalo, New York. Yes. My sister went to Geneva, to college in Geneva. So that's right before you get to Canada. And it was amazing, like just going to visit her and then other things that we could do. So, yeah, awesome. Oh, we can't wait to see it. It'll be fun. Here in Boston, like I actually did the trip to Nova Scotia last year in 2021 when they first reopened the border. I did the 12 hour trip from Boston to Nova Scotia. Loved it there. And this summer they have the ferry service that takes you to Nova Scotia. Three hours. Wow. Three hours. That's it. Yeah. I can't wait to try that because I love getting on boats. I prefer to get on boats to drive. Well, Shalise, we'd like to thank you so much for coming on to The Autistic Delicatessen and talking about your travels and just really giving us so much about what it means to try different foods and just to basically be your autistic self. You are awesome. Thank you. So you guys. Sorry, y'all. Thank you guys so much for having me here. Thank you for watching The Autistic Delicatessen. If you would like more content, please go to theautisticdelicatessen.car.co or theampleverse.com slash d-autistic-delicatessen. There you will find the full catalog of our podcast and video series at your leisure. And if you enjoyed this episode, feel free to subscribe for future content. Until next time, what you eat, what you drink is your story.