Sheldon Pleads His Case | Young Sheldon Compilation

Why are you so late? Sheldon? I've put together a presentation detailing the reasons why I should be allowed to go to college and I'd like you to watch it with an open mind. I can do that. Excellent. Is Meemaw here? I smell cigarettes. Thank you for this opportunity to plead my case and I'd like to thank my cameraman and driver, Dad. Well, I'm not even like assistant director. No, sit back, enjoy. Hello, I'm Sheldon Cooper and this is why Sheldon Cooper should go to college. I realize attending college in another state or country is unrealistic at this time which is why I'm proposing that I live at home but enroll full-time to continue my studies with Dr. Sturgis at East Texas Tech. I firmly believe that I'm ready for this next step in my academic life but don't just take it from me. He's ready. In the fall, now, just let him go. Please. I don't think I have anything left to teach Sheldon. I'm pretty sure he's already smarter than me. It's true. Honestly, teaching Sheldon is the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I don't say that because it can be a pain. I say that because he's so intelligent. I had to study every night just to keep up. I'm gonna miss him. A student like Sheldon comes along once in a lifetime. This school is not going to be the same without him but I know he's going to do great things and I'm honored to have been a small part of it. I'll chip in for gas money. Move him into his dorm, whatever you need. Let's make it happen. Hi, Mary. I know this must be a hard decision for you. I can't tell you how to parent your child. I don't have children but I can tell you that in all my years in academia, I've never seen a mind like Sheldon's. He's truly extraordinary and if you let him come here, I promise we'll take good care of him. Sheldon Cooper. Ready for college. Ready to change the world. Cut. If that doesn't convince her, I don't know what her problem is. Well? Why don't you let me and your mom talk? All right. Well? I guess our baby's going to college. I had to find another way to change Dr. Linkletter's mind. I decided to treat this like a science experiment. Test various methods persuasion to determine which was the most effective. Dr. Linkletter, I was talking to the other physics professors and they think you having an 11-year-old lab assistant would be neat. No. Don't you want your peers to think you're cool? No. I would. No. Dr. Linkletter. What? If you look in your drawer, you'll find a little something. I hope you like peanut butter cookies. This isn't going to change my mind. You sure? Yes. Then give them back. They're my favorite. Say yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. What? That's yes in Klingon. How do you say no in Klingon? Aw. I overheard some of your other candidates talking about marijuana. I don't care. Well, you should. I think they plan on smoking it. You know what? What? I was just admiring your posture. You're not all hunched over like most people your age. Hello? Can I be your lab assistant? What time is it? That's not a no. If I say yes, will you please stop hounding me? Absolutely. Fine. You win. Good night. I know it's not glamorous, but all scientists pay their dues. And I'm happy to do it. Good man. I understand my role here. In fact, I noticed a flaw in your reaction rate, but I kept it to myself because I know my place. You really think there's a flaw? Oh, yes. What is it? I appreciate you testing me, but I'm not going to crack. I'm not testing you. Nice try. In an effort to find out the mistake in his experimental design, Dr. Linkletter performed his own experiment on me. You know, Sheldon, I don't even care if you tell me there. In fact, I'd rather you keep it to yourself. All right. I've got you a little something for all your hard work. It's about a little boy who didn't let being dead stop him from having fun. Thanks. Now that I've given you something, perhaps you want to reciprocate? Sure. You can have this. I don't want it. Hello? Uh, can I speak with Sheldon? Middle of the night? Who the hell is there? Uh, wrong number. The next day, Dr. Linkletter ran his experiment. I'm proud to say I never broke my word, and he eventually figured out the problem. Fire! Was there too much oxygen in the reagent? See? You didn't need my help after all. Oh, damn it! In Texas, the Holy Trinity is God, football, and barbecue. Not necessarily in that order. I don't care if you win, just cover the damn spread. Mom, are you betting again? No. Fourth down. Gotta punt. Gotta. Statistically, always punting on fourth down makes no sense. Statistically, you're a dumbass. Hey. When the Aggies give up the ball on their own five-yard line, the opposing team has a 92% chance of scoring. When they punt from deep in their own territory, the other team still has a 77% chance of scoring. But since they convert on fourth down 50% of the time, the math says they should never punt again. Okay, you can tell me. Who's his real daddy? Sheldon, I've been playing and coaching football all my life. I don't think your math is right. Really? Hang on. No, it's right. Is it your dentist? The little guy with the glasses? You can tell me. I gotta tell you, I'm a little worried about my mother. She keeps betting on these football games. Next thing you know, there's an Italian fella driving off with her pickup truck. I think Sheldon's right. About what? The punting and the math. I should think so. He's been doing our taxes since he's six years old. We've never been audited. That's true. He even got us that nice refund last year. I have a special treat for y'all today. My dear friend and former college roommate is here from the Johnson Space Center in Houston to talk to us about our space program. And yeah, I know what you're thinking. These guys were roomies. How does one go on to be a fancy scientist at NASA and the others teaching freshman science at a public high school? Yeah, Sheldon. I was thinking that. Thank you. All right. Let's give a warm welcome to my good buddy, Dr. Ronald Hodges. Hey, kids. Hey, glad to be here. And Hubert, the answer to your question is one of those roomies was busy studying while the other was out chasing high school girls. Yeah. To be clear, they were all over 18. Now, what I thought would be fun to talk about today is what NASA is planning on doing beyond the space shuttle. Things like the first manned mission to Mars. Yeah. Did you see the movie Aliens? I did. Did you think it was cool? Sure, I enjoyed it. Me too. Football player, right? Yes, sir. Now, of course, before we can set out to explore the solar system, we've got a few minor problems to overcome, not the least of which is every time we launch, it costs the U.S. taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars. Oh, no, no, no. Yes. If you want to save money, why don't you land the booster rockets instead of letting them drop in the ocean? That's a cute idea, but it's not technically possible. Why not? Well, it's hard to explain. The math is pretty complicated. Perhaps I could help you with it. I bet you could. I'll tell you what. Here is a NASA patch. Why don't you have your mom sew that on your book bag? Now, who here wants to know how astronauts go to the bathroom? All right. See, now during liftoff, all the astronauts wear diapers. People often wonder why I chose to pursue a career in theoretical physics. I usually respond by saying I wanted to unravel the inner workings of the universe. Perhaps when Captain Kirk said to boldly go, he meant in one of those. But the real answer was I wanted to prove this nincompoop wrong. Beat me up potty. I don't mean to be rude, but we will wait for an hour to see your boss. I'm sorry, sir, but you didn't have an appointment. We didn't have an appointment because every time I called, you put me on hold. I'm sure Dr. Hodges will see you as soon as he can. So what do you want to do? No, I guess we just got to be patient and wait. Screw it. Excuse me, sir. You can't just. All right, here's the deal. My kid's got a damn ulcer because of you. So either you take him seriously or you're going to be taking me seriously. Yes, sir. Janice, why don't you send little boy in? Right away. He'll see you now. And here, near Apogee, we gimbal the engine to exert a torque that executes a pitch over maneuver to flip the rocket by 180 degrees. Wow, that's very impressive. Thank you very much for taking the time. I'm not done. Oh, sorry. Needless to say, we use a PID controller to minimize the dispersions to the landing site. Anything else? Yes, I'd like a glass of water. It's time to take my Zantac. You've been in there quite a while. Well, it's a topic of science. It can be a real chatty patty. I'm bored. Me too. Hey, someday somebody's going to write a book about Sheldon. Don't you want there to be a chapter about how loving and supportive you two were? Doesn't matter. I ain't reading it. This is groundbreaking work. Thank you. And? I thought you might want to apologize. Well, why? You tried to shut me up with a patch. Well, I give those to everyone. And you have to understand, Sheldon, that while your math is theoretically correct, we don't have the technical capability to execute it. So I'm ahead of my time. Well, it would appear so. All right, call me when you catch up. Am I correct that the bus to Dallas has a stop in Rusk? Yep. I'd like to buy one ticket, please. You need an adult to buy it. Oh, I didn't know. That's the rules. I'm just trying to visit my friend in the hospital. Not the regular kind of hospital, a psychiatric hospital. He's actually a brilliant scientist in the field of theoretical physics. Dr. John Sturgis. You may have heard of him. Anyway, he's a great guy. We're almost the same height. And then he and my Meemaw became a romantic item. Not that there haven't been bumps in the road. I actually helped them by writing up a relationship agreement. I love drawing up contracts, but I don't love drawing. Interesting. Anyway, he doesn't drive. Maybe one day he'll take a bus and you'll get to meet him. Anyway, even though I'm clearly her favorite grandchild, she swatted my bottom. It didn't hurt that much physically, but emotionally it stung like the Dickens. Here you go. One ticket to Dallas at the stop in Rusk. But that's against the rules. I'm an adult. I bought it. Ooh, a loophole. Thank you. I'd tell you all about the etymology of the word loophole, but I have a bus to catch. Dots and dashes. Maybe it's Morse code. Where is it? We think this is Morse code. What does it say? Gee, I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? You were in the army. Yeah, so? I can't do a push-up either. Well, that's a separate problem. Okay, so how do we read it? I'd say ask Sheldon, but he left after I clearly said not to. There must be a book on Morse code in here somewhere. Okay, where do we look? I don't know. I know how to use the card catalog. Go, go! You're just useless, aren't you? Dot, dot, dot. S. Got it. Dot. E. All right, another dot, dot, dot. Uh, S again. Okay, what do we have so far? I am taking a bus. Fun fact about buses. Oh, come on! Does he really think these facts are fun? Not now. I've got it. He's headed to Rusk. He's going to the hospital to see John. I'll call the police. Hurry! Is Sheldon going to jail? No. Damn it. What are you doing? I'm going to take apart the refrigerator and figure out what's making that noise. That is a really good idea. Usually you're not supportive of my efforts. I'm more mature now. What did you do? Good news! I found out what part was making that noise. You have to put this back together. Now we're going to the bad news. What made you think you could fix this? I'm smart. And I had a book. Do you still think you're smart? Yes. I told him not to do it. He wouldn't listen. Two hundred dollars? It'll be okay. We'll find the money. Wait, the old fridge in the garage. What's that? Well, I kind of donated that fridge to the church. You know, for the needy. Are you kidding me? I see tense moments like this more than you think. I'll just give you guys some space. Not so funny now, is it? No. How long is he suspended for? A week. And it goes on his permanent record. Well, that's no big deal. I had all kinds of stuff on my permanent high school record. Didn't stop me from being a bartender for eight years. I think the real issue we need to deal with is his germ phobia. Oh yes, you don't want him turning into Howard Hughes. Growing his nails out. Peeing in a jar. Why would he pee into a jar? I don't know why he peed in a jar. I just know he did. I hate to say it, but I think we need help with this. Like what? Maybe we could take him to that nice doctor who calmed him down when he was convinced he had an enlarged prostate. She only calmed down when the doctor told him what happens in a prostate exam. Poor thing. Still talks about it. Thank you for seeing us, doctor. No problem. So what do you got today, Sheldon? Rickets, rabies, early onset menopause? Is he making a joke? I believe so. Humorous. Sheldon's not sick, but he has become overly concerned with getting a cold or the flu. Any symptoms? Runny nose, achy, sore throat, fever? No. All right. Well, Sheldon, if you do catch a cold or even the flu, it's not the end of the world. The flu was the end of the world for half a million Americans during the influenza epidemic of 1918. Really? In India, 17 million people died. Okay, I think we're getting off the subject. Dr. Sheldon is afraid to go to school because he might get exposed to some kind of bacteria or virus. So he's got a phobia? It's not a phobia if the threat is real. You're a doctor. You should know that. Sheldon, you have nothing to worry about. Even if you did get the flu, it's usually over in a week. Why are we getting medical advice from a man who smokes? Okay, I have patients who are actually sick. Maybe we should wrap this up. How come you don't get sick all the time? Well, I take precautions. I wash my hands. I wear gloves and a mask. So, Mom, how was your day? We're ignoring this. Okay. Sometimes people say to me, Pastor Jeff, how do you know there's a God? And I say it's simple math. God either exists or he doesn't. So let's be cynical. Worst case scenario, there's a 50-50 chance. And I like those odds. That's wrong. Shelly, put your hand down. Sorry, please continue. It's okay, Mary. It's Sheldon, right? Yes, sir. Well, Sheldon, why don't you come on up here and tell me how I'm wrong? No. Okay. Let's give him a hand, everybody. What's happening? Shelly's gonna eat him alive. So you were saying? You've confused possibilities with probabilities. According to your analogy, when I go home, I might find a million dollars on my bed or I might not. In what universe is that 50-50? So what do you think the odds are that God exists? I think they're zero. I believe in science. So you don't think science and religion can go hand in hand? Science is facts. Religion is faith. I prefer facts. I understand that. Here's a cool fact for you. A lot of famous scientists believed in God. Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, even Charles Darwin. So Darwin's right about God and wrong about evolution? Now you're getting it. Let's give it up for Sheldon, everybody. What a good sport. But I wasn't a good sport. At that moment, I vowed to come back the following Sunday and destroy Pastor Jeff. Good news. I found a way to take a break from science. That's great. What is it? A fantasy book series called The Lord of the Rings. Well, it's got the Lord in it. That's something. This can't be right. Not now. In the letter that Gandalf leaves for Frodo with a prancing pony, he says that it's mid-year, stay shy, or year 1418. However, in Appendix B, it says that Gandalf met Radagast on June 29th, which is impossible because... Hey! Next time, it's my show. And I will put Zip on it. The man who lived in the town was tall. Which word is the relative pronoun? Sheldon. Have you read The Lord of the Rings? Um, I have. But that's not what we're really doing right now. The relative pronoun is who? Now, did you notice that in Fellowship, Elrond says that the foundations of Barad-dur were made with the one ring? Let's say, sure. However, in Appendix B, The Tale of Years, it's clear that Sauron began building Barad-dur in Second Age 1000, 600 years before the ring was forged. Georgie. Imagine living with this. An hour a day is enough. The timeline doesn't make sense. I mean, it lists Samwise Gamgee's birth years both 2963 and 2980. Maybe he lied about his age. Why? I don't know. Maybe he thinks his neck makes him look older than he is. But he's only in his 30s. That's young. Thank you. For a hobbit. For a human, that's mommy age. Thank you. When Frodo and Sam are riding through the Shire, the book says the moon went westward. But according to the calendar Tolkien created, there should have been no moon visible. But in the appendix, Tolkien covered himself by saying there may be mistranslations from the real book. Fictional Tolkien says that. But I can't help wondering if real Tolkien who wrote the book made the mistake, or if it was an intentional mistake made by the fictional Tolkien who translated these real-world events from an original source. Oh no. Is that how I sound to people? We're never going to figure ---- out. We can. We're smarts. We're so smarts. Our brains is precious. If our brains is precious, we're wasting it on hobbitses. We like sciences. We took a break from sciences. It was making us crazy. And look at us now. Look at what those nasty hobbitses have done to us. It was physicses. Physicses did this to us. Hobbitses. Physicses. Hobbitses. Ow. I warned you. According to de Broglie, lambda equals h divided by m times what? Sheldon? Is it velocity? Yes. Now- Or is it a velociraptor? I'm sorry? Perhaps lambda equals h divided by m times a velociraptor. Or a velveteen rabbit. Or velveta. That's the cheese my mom puts on broccoli when she's being fancy. Is this from your philosophy class? Or perhaps that Ren and Stumpy I've heard about? Philosophy. Mr. Cooper, do you really believe that de Broglie's equation contains velveta cheese? I don't know. Maybe he was just trying to be fancy. Hello. Can I help you? Hi, I'm Connie Tucker. I'm Sheldon Cooper's grandmother. Oh, nice to meet you. He is a remarkable young man. Yes, he is. He's also a very impressionable young man. Kind of like a lump of clay with a bow tie. All I did was teach him about epistemology. Whatever it is you're teaching him, it has made him question everything. That's the goal. Lady, I had to threaten him with a chicken so he'd put his pants on. It's fairly normal for first-time philosophy students to have their worldviews shaken. Do they snap out of it? Well, you hope. Professor Erickson, I insist... Hello, Connie. What a pleasant surprise. Hey. I'm sorry, you're about to see me speak harshly to my colleague. Have at it. Professor Erickson, I insist that you speak to this young man and explain to him that reality is real and it's possible to know things as fact. The class is called Introduction to Philosophy. That's what I did. Well, unintroduce him. Yes, he's at this school because of his brilliant scientific mind. He spent my last class talking about processed cheese. Sheldon, is that true? Nothing's true. You see what you've done? You broke him. Hey, how come you didn't want to get out of bed this morning? If I can't know what's real, what's the point? You have the right words. You're just saying them wrong. It's not, what's the point? It's, what's the point? I don't understand. Asking these questions is exciting. It's what gets me out of bed. That's interesting. Richard Feynman did say the greatest joy in life is the pleasure of finding things out. Feynman, he's the physics guy, right? Yes, and your perfume is beguiling. It's all making sense to me now. Thank you. I am happy to help. Dr. Linkletter, I'm dropping your class and switching my major to philosophy. What? Did you know that if gravity were slightly more powerful, the universe would collapse into a ball? I did not. Also, if gravity were slightly less powerful, the universe would fly apart and there'd be no stars or planets. Where are you going with this, Sheldon? It's just that gravity is precisely as strong as it needs to be. And if the ratio of the electromagnetic force to the strong force wasn't one percent, life wouldn't exist. What are the odds that would happen all by itself? Why are you trying to convince me to believe in God? You don't believe in God. I don't, but the precision of the universe at least makes it logical to conclude there's a creator. Baby, I appreciate what you're trying to do. But logic is here. And my problem is here. Well, there are five billion people on this planet and you're the perfect mom for me. What are the odds of that? Thank you, Lord, for this little boy. I knew I could fix it. Maybe it was you and the Lord. I don't like sharing credit, but I knew in that moment it wasn't the appropriate time to say it.