I HATE MYSELF!!! If you constantly CRITICIZE yourself, YOU WANT TO WATCH THIS!

Hola, hola everyone! It's Phoebe and Marco and I just got a new haircut today so I feel super beautiful. It just makes me feel so much lighter and I think my hairdresser did a pretty good job on the haircut because I said I wanted to chop off everything. It's a new wound so I'm cutting my hair to set a new intention and it's basically a new transformation, a new person after letting go of all the things. So in this video, I just want to follow up with the previous video about letting go. For me, it's more about letting go of fears, letting go of all the things that didn't stop me, letting go of basically even all the material stuff. After that video, I actually purged a lot of things. I just cleaned up my van and make up more space so I actually get more gears so I got rid of the things that I didn't use and I make up for things that may be useful for me at this time. So that's basically all about the letting go thing. So continuous to that topic, I want to share with you about specifically all the challenges that I did before I got on the trip that helped me to basically overcome the fear of not being good enough. So one of the challenges that I did was going out to public and crowded places and I chose to go to the park and this is I think it's the central park in Koh Kluat Lom because I was visiting a friend there, my friend Dennis who helped me to record a video and he is so hilarious. So I want to share with you that clip that we did when we went out there and compliment people in the park. It was super fun. Dennis is in Seoul so this is basically his profession. He knows all about this stuff so I couldn't pick a better partner to cheer me up and he was super supportive. So we had so much fun doing that challenge and it did put me out of comfort zone a little bit. I felt kind of awkward because I don't normally go out and initiate conversation with people, let alone giving people compliments because I am a very critical person. I don't give compliments very often even to myself. I'm such a perfectionist and even when I was little, people kept telling me that I'm so difficult, that everything has to be perfect. So I have had always been very hard on myself and that's why I don't give compliments very often and that challenge helped me to realize that about myself and that's all boiled down to the fear of not being good enough because I feel like they are not good enough and I'm not good enough. I have to be like this in order to get compliments. This fear of not being good enough, it kind of manifests in different areas of my life and as I realized that it actually controls my life and everything I have done is the result of this fear and this is the reason why I never really put myself out there. This is the reason why I can't achieve my dreams pretty much and so that's what I want to share with you, like how much this challenge really helped me to realize a significant part of myself and that's how I project joy to other people as well. I always think that they have to be extraordinary in something, they have to be extremely beautiful or unique in order to receive compliments and people are always so generous in giving me compliments but I never think of like giving back compliments. I feel like so selfish for doing that, that I have been always like that. Thank you, maybe like you're just checking. Hey, you're recording girl. It's a nice shirt. I love your hat, it's so shiny. I can't find anything, this is so unusual for me. Eight more to go, you're, you are 20% done your challenge. Um yeah, okay, all right, I see you. This one's gonna be easy for you, come on, no problem, you got this one, you got this one. You have a cute dog. There's compliment number four right there. Puppy has a lot of energy. So cute, I love your jacket by the way, the dog, yours too is beautiful. You guys are a nice couple. Have a good luck. Almost halfway there, you're doing a good job. Honestly, you're doing a good job, you got six more to go, you can bang this off quickly, I know you can do this. This one's easy, you know what to say to this woman, so easy. She's adorable. Okay, okay, I see you, all right, 50% done. Five, right? Here you got five, five out of ten. You look beautiful today. Yeah, that was actually really good, six. I thought she was gonna ignore you, I'm like, oh no, you didn't. Four more. But I didn't feel that one was like genuine enough. I don't think she's probably used to really hearing that from strangers, so yeah, she didn't know how to, she didn't know how to take it. Oh, the kid wiped out on the bike, oh no, four more, that's okay. There's no cute guy walking by, I can't compliment them. We cross the street and go over where they're playing volleyball, I'm sure you'll find a couple there. Right? Hey, they're halfway, they're halfway already there for you. But I can't compliment them if they keep playing. You could be a cheerleader. Slow down. All right, you got lots of customers coming now, you gotta pick one. You're doing a good job. Love your glasses, they look so nice. Number seven. She's so confused, I don't think she understood what you said. I don't think so. I'll have to compliment people who wear masks. People that wear masks? You mean makeup? Is that what you call, can you call makeup a mask? I love your hat, it looks so nice on you. Two more, man, see this wasn't all that bad, was it? I think you're actually pretty good at this. I think so. I think so, I think so. You definitely got a confidence booster going here. Here, watch this. Hey, nice track suit, man. I like your track suit, buddy, beautiful. Stop thinking. Just, I feel like I'm so critical, that's why it's so hard for me to compliment. Marco doesn't care. Hey, but you gotta think about it. Every time you compliment somebody, you just make somebody's day. Whether it's good or bad, you just made their day that much better. It's not every day you walk by somebody and they compliment you. I'm normally the one who receives compliments, I normally don't give people compliments. Okay, well, this is why this is part of the challenge. You can't always be the one receiving, you gotta give a little bit, right? I know, I know. It's how the world goes, you give some to get some. All right, well, here's your next customer. Maybe not. I feel like you might get me by selling something. That's a tough one. She doesn't look very happy. You got two more, two more, right? Two more. Two more to go. To do it in the end? Huh? Do you wanna do it? You want me to do the challenge? Maybe it's too easy. I think it's too easy for me. Yeah, it's not even a challenge because I talk to people all day long. I'm used to it. This is your fears. It's hard to compliment couples though, eh? Like, what do you say to them? You complimented a couple, which is pretty brave, to be honest. It really is. Two more. Yeah, it's so cute. Oh, and you walk in. Look at that. What a good walker you are. Hey, say bye-bye. Have fun walking with your daddy. Yay. You are adorable. Yes, the best gift in life right there, man. Amen. You too. You got one more, girl. He likes me. That kid likes me. Thinks I'm cool. See that? Hey, he's waving. He's so cute. One more. Come on. You're almost there. 90% complete. What a beautiful day. I know, right? After all, it's been like so ugly for like the last seven, eight days. Yeah, it was raining so hard yesterday. We did have a good day today. Actually, it's going to be good for the next week. I think summer is just going to start now. But last month was really nice. It was beautiful almost every day. Yeah, it was. It was. All right, you're going to do this guy? All right. This is number 10. All right, this is number 10. Marco, you got one, buddy. Good job. He got one. That's his way of complimenting him with a bite on the ankle. I might not be the best cameraman, just so you know. I'm trying my best here. But when you go to edit this, I'm sure you're going to be like, you're going to be like, what is this guy zooming on? I was zooming on your butt there for a couple seconds and I realized, oops. No, I'm just kidding. I didn't do that. I'm just kidding. Marco's butt. They even smiled at you. That was an invitation for our compliment. This guy's not going to hear you. You can't say nothing to him. He's got the big earmuffs on. No, he didn't hear nothing. And this guy coming, he's on the phone. And then you got another guy listening to earmuffs. It's okay. That's okay. I like your tattoo. Did I say earmuffs? Come on, girl. He can't hear you. He has blocked the world around him with sound in his ears. You got this. You got three clients here. You know, the kid one's always the easiest one. Because people used to get complimented about their children. So I mean, like, that's the best compliment to get. And easy to give. You guys look so sweet together. Cute couple. Congratulations. You did it. You completed your challenge. Way to go. How do you feel? Just for your fans. Just so you know, van life. We need to know how do you feel about completing this challenge? Was it as hard as you thought it was going to be? It's not. Well, it's the most challenging one out of like getting out of my comfort zone so far. But it's possible. You did a good job. Fantastic. You can turn this off now. After this challenge, I make a goal to practice this. Giving compliments every day. One person a day. And one compliment to myself. So at night, I would write down my... When I write down my gratitude journal or write down things... Things that I would feel proud of myself. Like what are on the winning list that I have done throughout the day. And I would write that down. The idea of this video is to kind of like put the pieces and pieces together. Where I started before my trip. Before this journey of being a full-time nomad. That's all where I started. To let go of these fears. And I didn't know I just let go of these fears. Because I just wrote it down and I feel this fear. And then that's it. It goes, right? So I have to face it. I have to face this fear. Because that would create a pathway in my head. And that would tell my brain that... Okay, I'm no longer of this fear. Like I can feel that I'm not good enough. But I'm gonna do it anyway. And this is the reason why I started the YouTube channel. This is the reason why I just go on my trip. And just jump in to be a digital nomad. Even though I don't have a job or anything yet. And so the more I overcome these fears... Hopefully the easier it would feel. To be honest, sometimes it doesn't feel that easy for me to record YouTube videos. But that is still a work in progress. That is the process of getting overcome of these fears. To acknowledge it. And feel it. And write it down. Let it go. And face the fear. So that is the process for me so far. I hope that this video would help you to realize about yourself as well. A little bit about self-reflection. Whether you have this fear of not being good enough. Have you been generous with your compliments to other people and to yourself? So that's what I want to share for today. Hopefully this video will give you quite some insights about yourself. And a little bit of reflection of who you are. And hopefully you will gain some good value from it. That's all I have for today. Thank you so much for watching. And I will catch you in the next video. Bye everyone!