5 DEEPER Things Men Notice First About a Woman & Find VERY ATTRACTIVE ¦ Dating Advice for Women

What is it that men notice first about the person they're exploring creating a relationship with? When a guy's going on a date, there are things that really pull him in, things that really drive him to say, ooh, I want to explore this relationship deeper. And so today we're talking about five deeper things that men notice first about a woman that cause him to want to explore this relationship deeper. The first one, and I know that what you're going to say, if I give you this first one, you're like, Matt, that doesn't qualify, but hold with me here because I'm going to take you someplace with this. The first one is looks. You're like, Matt, that's not deeper, but here's the deal. Men are visual creatures. I heard an expert once, Dr. Pat Allen say, men's largest sexual organ is not what you think, it's their eyeballs. Their largest sexual organ are the eyeballs because men are visual. And so here's why this matters is because so often I'll be coaching a woman. She'll go on a date and she's like, I didn't know if he was attracted to me or not. What I will tell them is, is he on the date with you? Then he's attracted to you because unless it's a blind date where somebody else sets you up, he's seen you before, right? He's seen your online profile. He's seen you on the voice or the video calls. He's seen you on Zoom calls. He knows what you look like. And so he's on that date and he's already attracted to you. So you've passed that mark. And what I love about this awareness and understanding is that you can relax from the standpoint of, is he attracted to me? Now it's about, ooh, do we connect? Are there compatibilities? Are there alignments in our values and our lifestyle and the things that really matter? Because you already know if he's attracted to you, you might be trying to figure out if you're attracted to him, but for sure, he's already attracted to you. So that's number one, that the deeper place to take this is, ah, allow that to fuel your ability to relax on the date, to know he's on that date because he's attracted to you in the first place. The second thing that he notices, and this is where we begin to get deeper, is he's noticing your authenticity. In other words, it's your alignment. And here's where alignment shines through. It's like, what is authenticity? Authenticity is, are you speaking and acting in ways that are representative of your true self? Are you speaking and acting in ways that are representative of what you really believe in your deeper values? Because that alignment has a feeling to it. That alignment, whether he agrees with one of your beliefs or one of your statements is irrelevant. The alignment in somebody has power. Like you can feel when you're around somebody who they're aligned. They're speaking their own truth. They're speaking in ways that reflect what they really believe. And you're attracted to that person because we're all attracted to authenticity. We're all attracted to the willingness to show who we really are. And you're also notice the energy that you feel when someone is measured in what they're saying, right? They're trying to find out, they're kind of dancing on eggshells. They're like, is this the right thing to say? Or they're holding back in certain areas. And you may not be able to identify it with your conscious mind, but you can just feel it. And there's something in us that's repelled by that because none of us want to be penned in. None of us want to be hemmed by the opinions and approval of others. We all want the freedom of expression. When you can just be who you are on your date, then he's going to feel that be drawn to that. Well, how do you develop that? Well, number one is you start being that way in every interaction. You start being that way more in life in general. There's lots of practices for this, but one beautiful practice is to begin to notice what it is that you say. And it's what groups do you water down or change what it is that you say, because you're looking for acceptance, which is a very human thing to do. We don't judge ourselves in those moments. Just notice, ooh, am I watering down or changing anything that I'm saying because of this particular group? Or am I just being true and authentic to myself? So the practice of tuning in and saying, hmm, how do I really feel? And then the way of expressing that still with love, care, respect for whatever group you're in, but being able to express your authenticity is a great practice. And this leads to the third thing that he feels that draws him into this relationship, which is your acceptance of him, which actually becomes way easier to accept somebody else when we fully accept ourselves. So when we accept ourselves enough to live from our authentic truth, our authentic set point, then we begin to accept others more freely. And this doesn't mean that you're going to accept someone as your partner or accept or choose them to be your partner if they're not aligned, but you're going to simply accept them for who they are and either release them to go find the right partner or say, ooh, you feel like a really good aligned partner for me. And so men feel that. It's something that is a deep sense of, we experience it as peace, like, wow, I can just relax in her presence. And that relaxation in her presence feels so good because we don't have to tap dance. I remember a guy coming to me for advice one time and he was saying, Matt, how do I win this woman over? And I said, well, what's the challenge? And he goes, well, she's used to dating billionaires and getting flown on private jets and like taken to private islands and so on and so forth. And I don't have that kind of money. I'm pretty well off, but I don't have that kind of money. And so I'm worried like I'm not going to measure up. And ultimately I helped this guy see, do you want to be with a woman who's attached to a certain level of status that you inherently aren't even able to provide right now? You're always going to feel like you're stretching and not enough to try to meet her expectation. What men want most is to be able to meet the expectation that you have for the partner in your life. And when he feels your self-acceptance and your acceptance of him, he relaxes and feels like, wow, I feel like I could be this person for her. I remember dating a woman when on our first date, she was like talking about clubbing and going to clubs and this and that. We were in LA, we're at this really fancy restaurant, this like French restaurant. And she was like, I hate waiting in line. Just promise me if we ever go to the club together, like we're not going to wait in line. Like we're just going to be able to zip right in. I remember thinking like, I don't have that pull. I don't know who you're hanging out with, but I didn't know how to get in the clubs and pass the line. And I just, that just wasn't my scene, right? Like I maybe go to a club here and there, but I wasn't like Mr. VIP. And so I knew that I was like, oh, I can't, I can't meet the mark with this woman. And so immediately my attraction for her plummeted because my own sense of self and being able to provide her with the experience she wanted wasn't able to be met. So where does this lead us? This leads us to the acceptance of him just naturally, whoo, creates a beautiful leaning in to the relationship. The fourth thing that men are looking for, this is the thing that draws them into a relationship, is someone who can create the fun over the drama. And I want to highlight something here, something that you may or may not know men perceive as drama, and that is gossip. So what is gossip? Gossip is talking about somebody else when they're not there in a negative light. That's simply gossip. You might think, well, that's not, that's just what we talk about. Like I'm going to talk about someone. So if you're talking about your ex, or you're talking about a friend, or you're talking about a family member, and it's not in a positive light, like it's about negativity, it's about something they did or how they wronged you, or just something weird or whatever it is, that we interpret that as drama. And drama, energy is repelling energy. Men are not drawn to drama. And I would argue that the man who is drawn to drama is not the man that you ultimately want. How do I know? Because you're watching this channel. You're watching this video. You're the kind of woman who you want to create a beautiful, healthy, conscious partnership with somebody else. So of course, the man who's drawn to drama is not going to be a great fit for you. So noticing, oh, is everything that I'm saying, am I willing to make a commitment, draw a line in the sand that I don't talk about others when they're not there in a negative light? You can talk positively about other people, about how great they are, how much fun you have together, all kinds of things like that. But your ability to create fun versus the drama in that idea of fun. So we've talked about drama. Let's talk about fun for a moment. Your man is drawn to fun. When I got hired to come into Zoosk, they wanted consulting. They flew me up to San Francisco and I met with the executives at Zoosk. We did some videos, some live streams. They gave us research that said that of the millions of men who filled out online profiles, the commonality for the kind of profile that those guys would actually click on, that what men were looking for were profiles that represented fun. And that makes total sense when you think about it, because we all want to have fun in life. Like we want a relationship that's going to feel fun. So on that date, does it feel fun or does it feel heavy and stressful? Does it feel fun or does it feel dramatic? Does it feel fun? And your ability to flip drama or obstacle into fun, ability to create fun conversations, ability to create fun moments, like saying, hey, let's go into this little gift shop and you play with different items and you have fun in that moment, your ability to create fun out of the ordinary, the extraordinary energy out of the ordinary moments, that is beautiful. It reminds me of something my friend said recently where he goes, you want to be around people you want to be around. And I was like, that's either the simplest thing I've ever heard or like the Tao of dating, right? Like the most profound, you want to be around people that you want to be around. And really that sums it up is that men are drawn to people who create the fun in whatever moments they're having. Now, the fifth quality that men are drawn to in a relationship is a woman who has the drive to grow. What this means is it's the woman who's not satisfied with the status quo of her life. She's willing to learn. She's willing to grow. She wants to strive because that in her is going to cause him to want to grow, to strive, to become a better man. Like that Jerry Maguire moment where he says, you make me want to be a better man. That's one of the great qualities about having an amazing partner in our life. Now, not every man wants that. And I imagine not every woman wants that, but the person who wants the quality of relationship that's constantly expanding, that's deep, that's passionate, that's connected, that comes from a of wanting to grow. Now, it can come in two forms. Either you can be the one that's challenging him to grow, or you can be the one that's open to learning and being willing to learn. Maybe there are areas that he's learned that you're willing to learn and grow in those areas. And this is actually one of the best kinds of relationships where you can learn from him and he gets to learn from you. And the two of you together are growing on a path of becoming freer, fuller, more expanded versions of yourself. Those are five qualities that men are drawn to. The reason we wanted to talk about these is because you already have these qualities. And as you realize that your job is not to get him to like you, your job is not to be anything other than yourself on a date, but to be center stream to who you are. And your job is not to try to change him into something that he's not, but it's simply to have as much fun on that date as possible and to see if you're aligned. And if he's not aligned, let him go because your major dominant belief is there's something even better still on its way. And when you can come from that beingness, you collapse time and manifest your man a whole lot faster. So, if you would love support, if you would love to be on a journey with a community of amazing women who are all manifesting their man, and you're like, this is my year, this is my time, I want to manifest love now, then my encouragement is click the link below because we have an amazing program called Manifest Your Man that takes step-by-step everything required to help put you in the right mindset, unleash the heart set, and give you the skill sets to not only attract the love of your life, but make that relationship phenomenal. So, click the link, explore that program. If it's right fit for you, I would love to support you. And until I see you again, I appreciate you. And here is to your amazing love life. Thanks for watching. I'll see you soon.