What it’s like Being Black in Ireland | Black History Month Talk at Griffith College Dublin

Hello, my name is Blessing Korea and today I'll be joining the law faculty at Griffith College Dublin to speak on the panel for the Black History Month celebration. The theme is standing firm in power and pride and I'm going to take you with me. [clears throat] We're going to get started with our [music] questions. So I'm going to start with Blessing if that's okay. Blessing, could you just please tell us what does standing firm in power and pride mean to you in both a per personal and professional capacity? And to those in the audience, that is ultimately the theme of um Black History Month in the UK and Ireland this year is standing firm, empowering pride. So if you will, it is what our panel discussion for today will encompass through our questions and discussions of the panel. >> Thank you very much for that question. I will start by saying I only became black in Europe. And this is to take from Chimamanda Dier's quote from 2023 edition of the Atlantic, her publication. And I'll read that verbatim just so I don't misquote it. Um it says, "I became black in America and it was not choice. My chocolate colored skin saw to that revelation. I had never before that thought of myself as black. I did not need to because although Britain's colonization left Nigeria with many cursed legacies, it didn't leave racial identity as one of them. And up until when I started traveling to Europe for work before I then moved to Ireland for school, I never considered myself black. So to me, this new identity of blackness, um, first I am Nigerian, a very proud Nigerian. I would always say I'm Nigerian. Um, for me this new identity of blackness is something I am also learning because in Ireland it's you're the census I will use the census because that is categorized um the central statistics office would say there are about like 67,000 plus black and Irish of African migrants of African background and then there's about 8,900 or so of black Irish and other backgrounds. So I fall under that background and I'm learning to accept that. So standing firm in power and pride to me would mean showing up as your authentic self in every space possible. I wearing a very brightly colored Anara outfit. [laughter] So it's beautiful. >> Thank you so much. So you can see that like I am pretty comfortable with that. So fashion would be a form of expression for me and excellence and getting things done the best possible way would also be a way that I stand firm in power and pride. I will if you see opportunities for instance and you're thinking oh >> should I take this up should I not take this up or are the odds stacked against you yes standing firm in power and pride to me would mean filling that form regardless let the people deciding decide to rule you out I would never rule myself out first >> thank you so much Joy Tundai I am very curious to know your opinions on standing firm in power and pride especially from your profession as a barristister at law within a jurisdiction if you will, that's predominantly Caucasian and doesn't necessarily have the biggest population of practitioners who are people of color. How would that stand towards you and showcasing what it means to you and your family from your heart? Well, thank you so much, Precious. And firstly, I'd like to thank um everyone in this room because I think it's so important that we recognize that black history is not only dedicated to people of African descent or those who identify as black. Black history is world history. Without black history, some of the things that have happened in the world would not have happened. So really, I'd like to thank you for coming in to listen to this discussion and to be part of it and for rec uh the recognition of it. So standing in power and pride, as you said, um Ireland does not have a lot of uh barristers that identify as black or of African descent. And one of the things that I do, as you might see, is those who saw me walking out uh walking in, I do not carry designer bags. All my bags are African inspired bags for court. I bring Africa with me in every room I go. I dress in African um my jewelry is is created in Africa. And that's the first point of not of standing in my power. and people seeing that I am a very happy or confident black woman and an African woman. So I would say, you know, it's all a matter of choice. I've made my choice that in terms of any of my accessories, I give back to the African continent. I've got women that uh designs uh my accessories, they design my handbags and that leads to education. Power and pride is not forgetting where I come from. um as in the introduction born in Zimbabwe but grew up in in you know grew part of my life in South Africa and the blackness was put on me. it was a label that you know in the most not in the most positive of ways but to be identified as black and I know that we have um a few people from Japanese konichua joy um and one of the things that really transpired was when I lived in Hokkaido and Tokyo is that the Japanese accepted me because of our traditional. So that part of living in societies that do accept you for your individuality makes us being able to stand no pride and not hide uh between and also as people say a braidwearing barrista. I wear my hair in every African hairstyle. I'm not going I am going to uh uh go into court as authentic as I can. So >> thank you. Lastly, Aisha, what would the theme mean to you in regards to standing firm in your power and pride? So for me standing firm in power and pride is it's something that when when I saw this question it's something that I was like okay let me actually sit back and think about this because I realized that for me as someone who was born and raised in Ireland and the only time I've been out of Ireland was the three days I moved to Belfast [laughter] and came back home because the pandemic hit during my masters. So for me like my whole life I grew up in a place where everyone mo the majority of people do not look like me. Um but I'm blessed to have grown up in a in a very African household as well. Um but unfortunately growing up in I love the fact that I grew up in I'm very grateful for that very fact. Um but obviously that also caused a lot of struggles with selfidentity. Um and I think for me I did I was not able to really stand firm in I guess who I am as a black woman. Um without learning to I guess reprogram my mind to love myself as a black woman. Um, and that took a lot of unlearning. That took a lot of just internal discovery of everything. And I'll be honest, it's something I'm still discovering till today, especially after being crowned Miss Universe Ireland. And unfortunately the the the eyeopening reality of being a black representative of a country that is majority whites um does come with a lot of angry people. I call them gremlins. [laughter] [snorts] Um so obviously for me like it took a lot for me to be able to say that I am standing firm in power and pride. Um but yeah as I said it is it is just a situation of me trying to learn to love myself trying to find my identity. And this sounds crazy but I've only been to Niger I by the way I'm Nigerian. My parents are Nigerian and I've only been to Nigeria twice in my life. Once when I was 9 years old for a week. I don't remember any of it. And the I I remember one thing actually. I remember how hot it was. [laughter] And the second was in May this year and that was the first time I was able to be in a space where I didn't have to think, oh my god, I'm a black woman. So when you were speaking about your experience of coming to Europe and that's your first time actually having to be like okay like I'm a black woman I'm being I guess identified by the color of my skin for me that's been my whole life and then when I got to Nigeria I was like ah this is different like I can think of everything else except for the color of my skin and I think it's extremely important to have like black history initiative especially during Black History Month, especially as well now during the current climate that we're facing in Ireland as well. um the current racial climate that we're facing in Ireland as well. And and yeah, so I'm really I'm really first of all, I just want to say I'm really glad that all of you guys are here and I'm really glad to be sitting alongside the two of you and I'm learning already so much from Thank you so much Aisha. And I think that turns very nicely to my next question um for Joy to know first if that's okay. is could you share a pivotal moment in your career where you had to stand your ground or really assert your voice in despite the challenges you were facing? >> That's almost every day. Um, I think people take for granted, I'm very much a strong believer [snorts] on the meaning of names. And I know when I first moved to Ireland and having grown up, I went to predominantly uh private schools back home and I wanted to fit in and I didn't understand why my name was. So at the beginning of [snorts] let's say moving to Ireland and growing up I always used to introduce myself as Joy although on all my documents it is my name is hyphenated as in anaru. So joy joy tendai which means joy is the joy and tendai means gratitude and that is a very important those are names that were not just given out of a whim but my parents made a conscious decision. So in terms of standing my ground is that a lot of people do address me as joy and I have to always say no it's not joy it's joy to die. It's reclaiming who I am [snorts] reclaiming the journeys and struggles of my ancestors and honoring my parents who are now both deceased to know that I've reclaimed the person and my identity of who I am. So it is it is a pivotal moment. I always have to say it. So it's not one I think that's the most important that I'd like people to re really realize you know and I always say to people if you can say and Marie you can say joy to die so it is important that is I think that's a daily struggle and to say that that is that is the most pivotal point for me >> perfect thank you and blessing in regards to the same question what would be a pivotal moment for you in your career where you had to really stand your ground and assert your voice. >> I would say most recently and I'm trying to tie it back to Ireland because I have lived many lives. Uh I did travel a lot across lived across all geopolitical zones in Nigeria and I think 30 out of 36 states. I absolutely enjoyed traveling and being in new spaces learning and relearning. Um, and thankfully my parents were happy to let me just wander around and just uproot a new route because they trusted that I will be fine and I would learn and would always touch base with them. So I would speak on my most recent experience and that would be um after university when I started working at the media station I was like oh I used to before coming here do videos. So like using travel to portray the um interactions between humans and just societal interactions around the sustainability development goals as well as the African Union um vision 2063 and just those things. So while traveling it would still be around oh sustainability or what are you seeing? What are the experiences of women in this space? What are the experiences of youth in this space and just looking at that from different places you go to? And you'll be surprised if you start to look at life through that lens. You'll be surprised as to what you would find. And I decided to get on TikTok because I speak I do public speaking. I do like voiceovers and stuff and I'm like you know what I'm trying to test my in the Irish waters and I have to say you held up so nicely like cuz with the troll trolling and you mentioned that it was overwhelming for me the first day cuz I started a whole new account. I'm like, let's see what the experience is like. And the first video, I think I was wearing another version of this cuz this would be like my signature look, like a cap tan and pants and stuff. And I made a video about, oh my god, it's so hot, the sun is out. And I got and I just dropped my phone and I got around my day. And by the time I opened it, I had hundreds of trolling comments being called everything from an ape to the nword to you ditched your passport to a like a nibbling whatever like like a scavenger like you're trying to get resources and I'm a taxpaying fully employed person and now being trolled online on like Nigerian or whatever. I that's okay. like you're kind of I have I would like to say I have a tough skin, but I was taken a back cuz the video I made was talking about how lovely the weather was and the fact that I was I was getting to wear my sandals for the first time in months and I I don't think I ever accepted this like spoke to my family about it but like I just froze cuz I was like oh my god that is a lot of negativity for the one day cuz I I'd never been in that position and like everyone I've interacted with had been pleasant. I I attended Griffith College and if you're here, you would really never feel whatever anybody's saying outside because it's so welcoming. The lecturers are really good. The students, everyone is just really grand here and even at my job like everyone is fantastic and everyone I meet is lovely. So the internet was a it took me a while. So I could post a selfie and I would I till this day I still get like every day at least on a good day five. On a good day five on a bad day runs into the hundreds. Um, and I think my parents called and were like, "Are you okay? That is a lot of insults. Like, did you do anything to stick anybody off?" Blah, blah, blah. I'm like, "No, I just spoke about the weather." They're like, "The weather? What do you want to do about it? Do you do you want to close the account and stop?" [snorts] >> And I thought about it and I thought about it extensively. >> And I decided to keep posting because it felt to me like I was letting myself be silenced and that would never be a blessing, Emmo. Not in this life or the next. So, I said I was going to keep posting. So, I would get trolley comments, but I would sometimes reply if I have the time with like a heart shape. Hope your day was lovely, darling. Kind of thing. And at some point, I think they just got tired and they let me. And people then other people then started to come to the post to like, oh, this your fit is really nice. And they were like, "Oh my god, this is such a dark comment section." And other people started to reply. And I think that was something that I learned through the horrible experience that I left off those comments because the first thing they're telling me is close your comment section. Don't let people be able to insult you. Close your comment section. Delete the comments. And I would report them and and platforms would say this doesn't count as a bad comment. So close your comment section. I'm like, you know what? Every time you say this happened to me, it is it's not that bad your brand. >> But if you leave it there long enough for everyone to see, it holds a mirror up to society. So I just left it there and over time other people come like this is such a horrible thing to say to this girl. She was literally just talking about the weather and people started commenting and that was how like I still I'm only just finding my audience here. >> Um but I have received a lot more warmth and even now when trolls come at me or whatever, I don't even reply. Other people reply on my behalf and they're like, "Oh, leave her." Like I have people who would residently be my comment section fighting other people. And I just felt that 360 was a very wholesome experience for me to ex to to feel because else if I had closed it at the time I would believe this is the Ireland that is and I would never have met these other really lovely people who would be like we don't we don't stand for this this is horrible don't do this >> and I think that that was it that was an experience I had to really stand my ground. >> Thank you for sharing. I think it's very insightful to see how one faces the gremlins, trolls, [laughter] haters, whatever term there is to use them, but negative people all around. Thank you for sharing. And in regards to my next question is for Aisha and I'm very curious to see it from the standpoint of someone who's necessarily in the life as well. You encapsulate the light to be very honest in regards to what it means to be a black woman in the beauty and public industry. So, what I'd really love to know is someone who are you okay? >> Sorry, you touched [clears throat] >> I don't know if you guys know, but [snorts] literally like what you were saying about the comment sections like obviously like everyone said like it's so it's actually really hard when when obviously you're just posting about the weather and someone has commented something horrible [snorts] and I haven't like cried about this in a year. [laughter] I thought I got over this, but obviously like I because obviously I feel like I was one of the I don't want to say one of the first. I'd say like Katya the the um >> Katia the presenter of six o'clock show would have probably been one of the first to be getting such horrible comments online. And obviously when I became Miss Universe Ireland, I got so many horrible comments and like till now I can't even post that I went to go eat in town without somebody finding the most horrific thing to say. But obviously for me I was just like ah it comes with the industry. But obviously like now like you I've seen so many videos of like young girls, young men posting them walking, dancing and of course like they're getting horrible comments saying get out of this country, go back to your country or getting called names and stuff like that. And for me I've just been like as for me I'm like it comes with the industry. It's fine. you chose to, you know, do represent, you chose to represent a country that, you know, you're not the majority person. Obviously represent representation is so important and I know we're definitely going to get into that >> too. But like just thinking about what it's like for other people who who are just trying to live and post on TikTok like everyone else in the world. It's just really hard to like for me comprehend how like they're able to keep going when they're literally just trying to live their lives. So sorry guys. I'm not trying to make it about me. I'm just like literally just I don't know. It's just getting in my head. But let's get to the question. >> No, you touched upon it really amazingly because I think as you mentioned Cashia, her full name is Cashia Maya. She's on the six o'clock show and Cashia is a beautiful person inside it and out and I think she's mainly targeted because she's a darker complex woman who's in the media and is showcasing the beauty of what it means to be human alive and just to be oneself. so has unfortunately fallen target and it's unfortunate that you've all faced that to a degree also. But I think Aisha, you are such a beacon. I think it shows itself even with our learners in stage one of the LLB who are women of color being excited to come see you and meet you and understand who you are because you represent that light if you will. You are almost a representation of as a hope at the end of the tunnel of if she can do that, if Katya can do that, if Joy Kindai can do that, if Blessing can do that, I can do it. >> And I think a great thing that I would love to know is within I guess the complexities of being on social media and just existing unfortunately what it has come to with people picking at not just women of color but men of color also. What strategies have you really developed as if you will a coping mechanism to ultimately exist within this complexities of people hating for the sake of being haters >> gremlins? So um honestly I just the number one strategy that I will forever follow is just showing up authentically as yourself regardless. Um, when it comes to me, my number one thing that I try to do every single day in life is to just live a life of love and showing love to people who who I guess may be projecting something that's going on in their life. I always say to look at me as an example of that because a lot of people would look at me but you wouldn't think that I have like crazy things going on in life. Um, just recently on dancing with this I spoke about the fact that I have cickle cell and for those of you guys who don't know it's a blood disorder. So majority of people in this world have blood cell red blood cells shaped circular shaped like an orange and then unfortunately mine are shaped like a sickle. So shaped kind of like a cresant moon. So when it's moving through my body it's like imagine putting an orange through type. it will just fall through. Like if you put an orange in your leg, they're just going to fall through. Whereas if you put a banana, it's going to be like getting stuck. So unfortunately, sometimes my blood cells get stuck in random places in my body and cause extremely painful crises. Um, nobody would look at me and assume that. So that's what I always remember when it comes to, I guess, negativity that I'm experiencing. I always remember that you never ever know what someone else is going through. So that's why show them love in those situations so that they'll understand that okay like you can project negativity but I'll always project positivity onto you and then hopefully that will my projection onto you would allow you to you know soak that in and start to project positivity too. But even if they don't um at least like these are things that will stick. These are memories that will stick. You never know what memory will stick into someone's head. So for me, yes, always showing up authentically as myself. Always showing love to people. They say love thy neighbor. They say love your enemies. And I don't have enemies. I love everybody. But that's the goal. That's how that's just how I do it. but also saying that it's easier to say that than it is to actually act that out in real life. Um, and that's why I also think it's important to know your limits as well. And that's something I have to do with my health too. I have to know my limits otherwise I can end up in hospital for weeks on end. So, and by knowing my limits when it comes to social media, I I'll be honest, I have a oneh hour limit on social media every single day. So, if I exceed that hour, that's that. Um, and I don't read my comments anymore because I used to wake up try and wake up before everyone else in the morning to delete my comments and but now I'm just like whatever. I don't really care anymore. like I'm just going to leave them there. My limit is there and that's it. And you just have to respect those limits within yourself. Um and yeah, so that's basically thank you. Thank you for sharing. Um in regards to my next question, it's very much um for Joy and I. It is who and what inspired you to pursue your career and how have you drawn from that source of inspiration in tough moments? And I just wanted to flag. This is a fan girl moment for me personally [laughter] because when I was when I was doing the entrance exam for the honorable Society of Kings in my first point of contact was to go on the bar of Ireland's website and Google every person of color I can find to build confidence to say, you know what, you're not going to be the only woman of color in the room. And I thank you for being one of those people on that top that I can say, you know what, if Joy and I can do it, maybe little old me can sit these exams. I didn't go down to the bar. I didn't get that far, guys. I qualified. My confidence only goes so far. But >> we'll get you. We'll get you to the bar. [laughter] Slowly, slow steps, baby steps. We'll get you there. But even to say I did those exams, you were my source of inspiration to know it's okay. I might not be able to see 30 faces of women of color in the room, but there's at least one that I know is going to have a smile, have the braids that I usually wear half the time and the fine jewelry and know that I'm not sticking out like a sore thumb. So what I'm very curious to know Joy tonight is who inspired you to pursue your career as bar and how do you draw upon that inspiration? >> You're going to make me cry. Sorry. [laughter] But I'm I'm really I'm really I know I'm I'm I'm really uh grateful uh because and to hear that it takes a person of such great magnitude to to give someone their flowers. Um and uh for me [snorts] my success is not My success is not being the biggest baddest lawyer. It's to have people like you who see the way. And if that's all I get and not become the most wealthiest lawyer in the world, I'll be the richest woman. So, thank you for letting me know. So, thank you. >> Okay. Thank you. Thank you for existing. Without you, I wouldn't be here. You're an inspiration to many. I don't think you know, but you are. Oh, >> are they for real? Right. [laughter] >> Too much hot energy. >> No, you're fine. I'm hoping. >> Is this a drill? >> I'm not sure. Is it a dream? >> Thank you. >> The universe was like too many emotions. [laughter] As I was saying, thank you Joy Tendai for inspiring my legal career, the legal career of many women I know who are women of color, maybe not in this jurisdiction, but others and for inspiring so many young black women to come during this time, after this time, well into the future. I always tell I know the young girls I know from West Africa and subsaharan Africa who are on the LLB and their first question I want to practice but I don't see a face I know and you're the face that I point to you're the LinkedIn that I forward on [laughter] you're the name I'm like here you go you copy and post this into LinkedIn or on Google you will find so much information on Joy Tendai because Joy is an inspiration so as your name says in regards ards to bringing joy and hope. You bring that even without trying. So, thank you for inspiring not only myself but so many to come after in law and other industries. So, thank you very much. >> Oh, thank you. Thank you so much and [clears throat] thank you for giving me my flowers. So I I know the question you had asked me, but before I answer that, I just want to um say to you both ladies that your stance, the way that you handle, as you say, the gremlins, you know, and all the the haters, I mean, we're celebrating black history and one thing I think what black excellence does is that it stares or invokes a mirror on people's accomplishments. I'm not we're not supposed to be in the space that we're occupying. If we were on the African continent, we wouldn't be, you know, we probably no one would know us in essence like in in as much as standing out. We stand out because we're in I suppose not in the place that we're be that we're supposed to be. But the thing as as we see from people like M uh Martin Luther King from Malcolm X um from um Harriet Tubman everyone that's there uh Rosa Parks that have been there is that you do not let you know you stand up in your your pride and excellence and standing up in the pride of excellence is the same thing you know deal with the th the trolls gremlins Um I'm going to share I my my my work I am an independent um uh practitioner so I'm self-employed and my name is on and my details are public knowledge and one of the things to to say to you girl you know like to both ladies girls ladies is that I've I always have a constant barrage of people who I don't know attacking me you know and I can't take that and what was said to me was take off your picture of the the law library. First of all, I spent too much money on the photographer. That that's my [laughter] money maker. That that picture cost me that you know the amount of you know when I look at that picture that shows it's an it encapsulates my journey. And for me to take it off so that people don't know that I'm a black woman and stop that that's letting them win and I'm not going to do that. So it is important to stay as um to your question. Um the person that inspired me to want to pursue to be where I am is my father reading me just in you know randomly reading me the decision in Brown and the educating board in the US which was the case of Ruby Bridges and seeing Ruby being defiant. Um, and that was my father's way of saying I was going to a school where I was the only black girl. And at times getting there and being mocked about my hair, mocked about my nose, my features, and my dad just read that and told me, "You see what Ruby is going through? I'm not saying she should have gone through that, but you are going to have to deal with this situation and find the courage. And I asked myself, what can I do to make sure that little girls like me, you know, I never thought to be honest when I was growing up, I never thought that apart would end. I'd never thought, you know, I thought we'd always leave in a segregated world, but I wanted little girls to know that they were worth it. And if it took me doing something about it and inspiring people like Precious, um, and one of the things that I started doing was writing poetry. And one of my uh poems that I wrote was actually read in the United Nations about the little black girl who stood up to apartheide. So and that is why I kept on writing and also looking at the great people like my inspiration is Nelson Mandela. Um he he you know being the culture and the person that he is really inspired me and because my family was my family actually my our house was a safe house for the ANC which led a bit of history which led to my dad being actually abducted and being a a prison of conscious during apartheid which ended up killing him. So that as well I'll say my dad and my my mother for those are all people that have made me because my mom taught me that with education I can be anyone and with education the education that they gave me I managed to come travel to Ireland start off doing something else but now I'm in a position where I can be the voice of those people not the voiceless but the voice of those whose voices I'm not you shouldn't hear it. >> Thank you Joai. In regards to my next question, it's for a blessing. How do you personally balance the demands of representation with being a role model, an advocate, and at times a first with your personal ambitions and general well-being. You've described in great detail how you've been trolled, verbally abused, derogatory terms thrown at you for no reason whatsoever. So, how do you balance, I guess, being in the spotlight and pushing forward with taking a moment to step back and think of your mental health and your physical health? >> Thank you. [sighs] >> Sorry for the big question. [laughter] >> I'm the breath. I because I'm trying to be as as honest because I I think everyone here gave up their time and even when we had the big break in transmission and came back, everyone that was here still came back. So I think I owe everyone a lot of honesty. I don't personally excel at work life balance. I am horrible at it and I am just learning. >> This year is every year I kind of have a little theme for my life. I know I romanticize my life that much guys. You should try it. It's fantastic. And this year's theme is rest. And I was like, ah, rest, you know, just take a nap. And I didn't know how much of rest I didn't know. >> And I think it's sometimes saying no. It's sometimes being honest with yourself when you can't. Like you would feel like, oh, I should do more. But you can only pour from [snorts] a full cup. >> You can't pour anything from an empty cup. and all the work I have done cuz I I've always done advocacy like since 2014 like I stumbled on an audition and initially was studying quantity surveying did my first degree did my masters and then came here to do journalism but even during that time I was working at grassroots campaigns women's rights I'm from northern Nigeria >> and there are certain issues around like women's rights and insurgency and um intercultural and interfaith harmony and here it will relate to interracial and into religious. So it's just the same issues trans trans um transcending time and transcending locations and transcending interest. So I think realizing that you can't pour from an empty cup. You can't give what you don't have >> is something that has kept me grounded. And I'm really really grateful to my family for never silencing my voice. >> Um never saying I can't. Never letting me say I can't. Like they're like, "Oh, you're sad. You didn't get this thing. Fine. Cry. Here's a cookie. what you want to do about it >> and if I'm oh I want to chart the course forwards like okay let's do that if you want this big thing and you can't get that now what can you do >> to get there so for instance like I I think I made a video few weeks back about excellence not being the big thing that we think it is is little steps the legacy of excellence like little steps towards getting to that place you want to be so it's little contributions towards getting there it's I moved here. I'm starting from literally I won't say nothing cuz they're good. I mean it costs a lot to be here. Um because I came to study here and you have to pay the speakers in full and whatever. So you I won't say I'm starting from nothing but I'm starting here. All the work I had done, all the accolades I had in Nigeria doesn't necessarily translate here. So you're starting to network. you're starting to put yourself out there to learn the culture, to learn the language, to learn the micro um behaviors and everything to help yourself integrate to get somewhere. And earlier I was chatting to pressure. I was like, "Oh, how did you see?" Because I didn't know I don't know anyone from here previously to meeting everyone today. I was like, "How do you see my work?" And she's like, "Oh, I see your videos on LinkedIn." And I just sometimes post some of the videos I make on LinkedIn. I most likely use other platforms more actively. She's like, "Yeah, I saw a video." And I'm like, "Yeah, we should definitely have you speak at this thing." And it is those little your name being mentioned, but it may not look like much cuz you're hoping to see a bajillion people like your stuff, but you really just need one person to watch your stuff, to like your stuff, to consider you. >> So, if I'm to say how I balance it is also that I don't like to look at myself as a role model. >> Interestingly, I like to see myself as a person on a journey getting somewhere. we put a lot of weight and black women and black men and the concept of black excellence is a thing that you have to overperform to be seen or sometimes like people I was at this poetry show for kind of black history month and like if with black excellence you're having to do a million times more work >> to get your foot in the door and that shouldn't be the case but that's unfortunately where we are right now so it is I don't like to see myself as a role model and I would always say let us all look up to Jesus >> and leave him with all looking up to. But as for me, so this means it takes away the pressure for me for feeling like I have people's life responsibilities. So I could hop out of here now and go home and wear my onesie and dance around and watch cartoons because I don't feel like I'm anybody's adult motivation. >> Like I am making change. I'm inspiring change. I am breaking boundaries and like being the first at certain things. >> But that's one thing I do. That's not my whole life. and I will enjoy the other little things that make me pleasant as opposed to being like, "Oh my god, what will this person think?" Because I think that's a response we often put on ourselves and it greatly affects how we enjoy our own lives. >> So striking that balance is learning and unlearning and also having people to hold you accountable sometimes like your friends being friends with people who have your interests or have similar direction would reduce the panic you have about doing certain things. Um and about the first I think I'll just touch on that briefly. Sorry. And it was um for instance with the CNN Academy that was the first cohort I was at Griffith College when I saw the opportunity and I was like oh I want to apply for this thing but they say you have to go to Abu Dhabi and you also have to be in your home country and you also have to make produce a full documentary and I was doing my masters at the time and I was like oh should I apply for this thing? Oh my god I'm not in my home country. Oh my god I have this masters going on. I was like you know what? And I chat to my family and he said, "Well, you submit a lot of things and also try your hands on so many things. Like I see an application. I don't even sometimes check who has won it. I just put my pitch out there." Like if they get back to me, okay, that's great. If they don't, we move. [laughter] And I did submit it and they I had an interview with them and here because I used to live on campus. So here and they're like, "Yeah, you're um we have selected you. You're among the 15 people." And I didn't know how big it was because I was like, "Oh, I'm sure this has been running." apparently it's like 15 in about 6,000 people in the world >> and I was the only West African so not just Nigerian I was the only West African and West Africa has loads of countries and I did not realize it until that moment but also so when I got that I then was like how am I going to navigate this and I went to Barry um Finnegan from department of media and I was like oh Barry I got this opportunity but I know I'm in school and I know I have exams how how are we going to work this and he's like you know what bless it's fine your grades up until this point is like you're a good student. This is a wonderful opportunity. The school will make it work. So, so I think just asking is something we especially like my experience as a as a Nigerian growing up in Nigeria moving here as an adult is definitely different from someone being born and raised here or someone who came here younger and just being able to access that or and then they made consensus. Okay, so I traveled and came back did a documentary while doing my thesis, while traveling and I was able to submit things like while being at home and just making that consensus was really something I greatly appreciated and I will always always thank Griffy College for their support for that. >> Thank you so much. >> And Aisha, I'm very curious to know your views on this because you seem to do a lot of work in regards to building a network if you will, especially with younger girls who want to get into how to train media. How in your view do you what do you in your view do you think having mentorship or community plays in sustaining a sense of pride and power and how also I guess a double-edged question how have you built a supportive network for yourself and others also >> okay um [clears throat] in terms of mentorship I think mentorship is extremely important I spent a lot of money on mentorship and so When I think of mentorship, I the first thing I think of is me when I was younger, like little Aisha, little ballerina Aisha, and I never said a word to any human being at all. I was the most quiet kid ever. Nobody would believe that now because I talk a lot, but I was extremely quiet growing up. Um, and when I decided what I want to do in life, I based those decisions on the representation that I saw. I based and obviously the representation that I saw were my mom and my dad and my dad my dad actually studied law Griffith that I came to study [laughter] law and Griffith and my mom's a scientist but I failed chemistry in school so I [laughter] don't think that was ever going to be the route for me. Um so I I think I think first of all I think representation is extremely important but I also think having good mentors is e even more important and that's why even when I started my nonprofit when I started reowned Ireland um mentorship was at the core of it and we were working with secondary school students coming to Griffith College to rooms here to meet with people in different industries who like that they were aspiring to um go into. And with the young girls I do work with till today in recrowned Ireland, I I see how important mentorship is to them. And a lot of them see that too. Um especially for a young black girl. Um because of the I feel like a lot of us base what we want to do on representation in that field. And unfortunately for me growing up there wasn't representation in the areas that I wanted to be in. And like I love the way you were speaking about the fact that obviously you ended up being the first you ended up being I get you don't you probably didn't even realize it at the time but you ended up being that representation. So did you for a lot of young girls, but I see how much mentorship is important because a lot of young girls come to me to specifically ask, "Do you know anybody who does this? Do you know anybody who does that?" And then I'm like don't know them but I could find them for you and then I'll text then put them in contact and like you that's how you know like that's how we are going to build the next generation because for us we kind of have to become that representation for the next generation and I'm so so excited for the next generation of young black girls in Ireland who actually do have people in specific spaces that they can go to and gain that mentorship. So I think it it is really really of extreme importance. Um the second half of that question was second half of that question was how have you built or found networks for yourself and others? Okay. The way this is going to sound crazy but I just knocked on doors. >> Exactly. Um so when I was 18 um competing in Miss Universe Ireland for the first time >> um cuz I competed twice well once and then the second time I won but the first time I competed I was 18 and they said we need sponsors. I was like I don't know what that means but okay. They're like just go to businesses and ask them you'll be fine. What do you mean go to I'm an 18year-old that just came out of secondary school. What do you mean like knock on a door and say hi? Can you sponsor me? But I was like whatever, let me just do it. Went around to like I live in Lip. So I went out around to like every single business in Nick's lip like hair salon solicitors for anything you could imagine. I was there knocking on the door like hi and I'm Jar and Miss Universe and sorry we don't have any like you know what I mean? And um in this it's like structured in a very interesting way. So, you're kind of walking through estate before you get to like certain businesses. And then we have a beautiful village that has basically nothing in there except for accountancy firms, lister firms, and like two cafes. Get to this Tisa village and I'm knocking knocking knocking. I've been walking for probably an hour and a half now. Then I'm like, "Oh my god, should I go up the hill?" We have a really big long hill. Like, should I go up this hill? Everyone has said no. Like I've knocked up like probably 50 doors now. Everyone has said no. Like I've had that many rejections. What's five more up the hill? The ones up the hill. They're all um Chinese food takeaway places. So I'm like whatever. Let me just go see see if any and then there's two air salons. Walk up the hill. First one I knock on on the hill. I'm like hi. So and by now I'm more confident because I've been I've been I've been saying it to everyone. So I'm like now I don't really care if they say I'm expecting a no now. So I'm like I'm going to go in here with confidence. Knock on this door. I'm like, "Hi, I'm doing Miss Universe Ireland 2018 and I'm looking for a sponsor." [laughter] And I said it like that. AND THEY'RE LIKE, "YEAH, COME ON. LET'S GO TO the ATM." I was like, "Wait, is this how businesses operate?" I was like, "Oh, okay. Yeah, how like how much do you need?" I was like, "Um, I think the sponsorship is €600. Yeah, that's fine. Let's go." I'm like, "Huh?" I was like, "Why can't this be the first place I knocked on?" But I understand why because that's one of the first things that taught me rejection. And I feel like that equipped me for like the next things I did in my life for modeling as well. Like you know yourself like modeling modeling anywhere. You're going to be rejected left, right, and center. But um so in every single thing I ended up doing in my life, I now I'm not afraid of rejection even in the slightest. And I feel like when you're when you're not afraid of rejection, welcome guys. [laughter] When you're not afraid of rejection, it makes it a lot easier to approach people. Um it makes it a lot easier to go for things that you would not normally go for. It makes it a lot easier to add random people on LinkedIn and ask them if if if you know they have an opportunity for you and that and and that also yeah so essentially like that's that's what I always say like I always say find ways to even experience rejection as well so that it will build up that confidence in you to >> I guess meet new people who I will think of you as well. Um, so yeah, that's that's what I would say. But my number one thing is just add people on LinkedIn and actually talk to them and it's probably the easiest way to build your network and we're very lucky to have online platforms to do that as well. And then we're in a >> I love Griffith College. Like Griffith College has my heart. So I obviously I came here from the age of 17 to the age of can't remember 20. Um, and when I um got here that it's it's what even I'll be honest, it's what even taught me that I am like I can be proud in being a black woman because it was such a multicultural school and obviously I had grown up in Leip as I mentioned. So I I grew up in a school and most people around me were white girls that I still love hang out with every day. But obviously when I got to Griffith College, I met so like I was able to build my network here. And sorry to do this to you Mariam, but Mariam in the audience here, she became my best friend in first year and she's been with me through every single thing that I've done through starting Recrown Ireland. She's the one that encouraged me. Miss Universe, she encouraged me. Anything you could imagine that I have done, building that network of people in Griffith College are who encouraged me. And even just sitting here today is such a I was saying it this morning on my Snapchat story guys. I was saying [laughter] being here this morning is such like a 180 degree moment. I don't feel like I said 360 degree moment but I was like I'm not in first year of uni but 180 degree moment again for us because obviously she's currently lecturing here now and we literally started here together as young she was 16 I was 17 young law students and then obviously me even being able to sit here and speak now so it's like it is being rejected it is building that network but actually go out meet people because you never ever know who's going to be your right-hand girl or right-hand man or right-hand whatever to bring you and encourage you and push you through the next moment. And also, you need people around you, not not just people pleasers, but people who will also challenge you, people who will also ensure that you have construct constructive criticism as well, so that you know, so that you can always build on whatever it is you're doing. The last thing I wanted to say was I always say to not like kind of look around at other people like always I think it was Serena Williams that said this. I don't play tennis or watch her or anything like that but I remember she said uplift other successful women. Um and I just think I just think that's so important. um as opposed to looking at other people as I guess competition. And I know this is crazy coming from a pageant girl, but don't look at other [laughter] people as competition, but look at yourself as competition. Look at past yourself as competition and be like, "Okay, I need to make sure I'm better than how I was yesterday. I need to make sure that I reach out to this many people today. I need to make sure that I build my network." can obviously set intangible goals in doing that. Not just I want to I want to post on LinkedIn like set a number to that as well. You know what I mean? Because even as we saw like um blessing posting on LinkedIn has given her like an opportunity here today as well. So just make sure you're always setting tangible goals as well. That's just that's the last thing I wanted to say. [laughter] >> Aisha, I just wanted to say because I the lawyer in me is always I need to quote fact, but I think to paraphrase what you wanted to say is clap for others until it suits your turn. >> Period. [laughter] Thank you. And I think what our my final question is for every member of our esteemed panel is if you were to imagine a young woman looking up at you today, what is one piece of advice you would offer her for finding and standing confidently in her own power inside? I'll start with blessing. >> Thank you. >> I would say don't shrink. Don't shrink for anything. there's no point shrinking. I am a big advocate of shamelessness. So I would say be shameless. And if you struggle with being shameless, ask yourself who taught you shame. >> Think back at it. What's your first experience of realizing you have internalized shame? And then you would able be able to find where you lost your own self and then grow from there. Everything you want to do is definitely on the other side of shame. So how do you have this goal? Yes, you have to show up. Did she want to be a Miss Universe? Yes. She had to go and knock on doors. It's difficult. It's embarrassing. It's cringeworthy to be knocking and be like, "Please give me money." [laughter] But she did. And she did become Miss Universe. Did she want to be a lawyer? Yes, she wanted to be a lawyer. She did s she did some other work that wasn't already mentioned and then you're a lawyer now and even running this event or you being here anything you want to do >> just look at it and just do it you will improve because I think most times we think perfection >> and I speak to myself as well perfection is great but you don't start if you're waiting for perfection you don't start that project you keep waiting you just never get around to it so just start and fix it up as you go. If I passively have been posting on YouTube for instance for maybe many years, like so far back, I have a Power Director watermark on my videos. That's how and like I don't even know if anyone knows Power Director anymore, but yeah, it's on my videos. It's that old. And if I am looking back now to complain about things going on or things not working out, I could look back at those videos and be like, actually, they did work out. Actually, you said you wanted to make documentaries and you do make documentaries now and it's such a funny full circle moment because like earlier this week we were at the digital media awards with Women's Aid. Um we the podcast studios produced a podcast for them tune to you podcast which you should definitely take the quiz to spot red flags in your relationships or in your friends relationships and how to identify green flags. Fantastically produced podcast and I'm not plugging this because I'm the producer. [laughter] Uh, not not wink wink >> wink wink. Um, but it was funny because we had women's aid just like two floors down here speaking to our class and they were talking to us and we had to write an article part of our assessment and we're sitting at the award with them with Mary Hayes at the digital media awards where we were the podcast was nominated for best use of audio and we so with my company as well and I was like do you remember coming to Griffith College like 20 23 or 24 to talk to people I should say. I was like, I was in that class. And it was just very funny because she was like, "Oh my god, you were in that class." And we just did that because we felt like the next generation of people that will be in decision- making positions needed to know that these were certain issues women were facing and then be able to put it to the front. So things do come full circle and I promise I know you've heard it a million times, but I swear it's going to get better. >> That's my final. >> Thank you. Thank you. and die. >> So, standing in your authenticity and standing with people that stand with you. And I'm a strong believer in giving people their flowers. And I know she's going to be embarrassed. I wouldn't have gone through my access course without Henzel Endless standing behind. You believed in us in our madness. And I was so delighted to see you today. And it's not about being from the same race or, you know, uh, cultural background. You find people that stand with you and believe with you. And Hazel, thank you for our time together. I really appreciate it. [laughter] >> I can't. [laughter] >> It's not you. It's my every time my emotions come up. >> You have a superpower. [laughter] >> You have a superpower at this point. >> Aisha, you're close. >> [laughter] >> If we can continue just >> I guess the last thing I would say is well in terms of my advice that I would give a young woman is number one to wake up with a purpose and number two is um there's power in adversity and a lot of people are going through so many tough things in this world and we don't know what a lot of people like going to so also give kindness to people. I'm trying to make this short so we can [laughter] >> Thank you. >> And for everyone in attendance, thank you very much. Apologies for the second intermission. It wasn't planned whatsoever. >> But thank you so much. >> [laughter] >> Thank you all so much and please evacuate safely. [laughter]