I Can Only Ask My Husband About The Budget 2 Times Per Week

brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. >> So, I have been religiously listening to you and your team every single morning on my drive to work, which is about an hour and 15 minutes, and I have had gazelle intensity by myself. Um, so I've tried introducing it like to my husband and the problem is is that we've sat down and we have looked at a budget. I have the every dollar. Um, I am still working on assigning every dollar. Um, but I've got the app for him. Um, where he's doing it. We have about $95,000 in consumer debt together. Um, we're a blended family. He has three. I have three. And um the problem I'm having is that I am wanting so badly to get out of debt. Um but I am the primary like bread winner because he he's in the roofing business and well we've had some issues with getting roof um approved and uh it's just been really slow. So, there's a lot of inconsistency like with his with his paychecks coming in and it's causing a lot of um resentment like on my part and probably toward him to where like we went to counseling and we had to have an agreement to where I could only talk about the budget for an hour on Tuesdays and an hour on Friday. So, that's kind of where we are. Um, and I just need to know what to do to move forward. So one weekend be a team together and how am I supposed to do this and >> Jamie can I ask is the resentment from you coming from that he's not fully on board with the plan and you guys together are like hey regardless of who's bringing the income this is what we're doing we're paying off debt as fast as possible is that the resentment or is it that his he can't seem to keep an income because the work is so wacky and you don't really know what's going on there. >> Yes. Yes. That's that's what it is. Like because he still has he's got a child that's in in college and then the other one has already graduated. But >> I'm like that's irrelevant to his income. >> Well, it is when he can't afford to pay all of the bills that he came in with. Then now I'm responsible for for those. And so I >> You mean he's You mean he's paying his kids' college tuition and not paying his own bills? Oh, he Well, right. I paid everything last month. I paid he's got about $4,000 that go out to his kids and their college and car payments and insurance and child support and all of that and isn't able to contribute to our house. So, in the month of September, we have no money. Um, well actually we will be married one year on November the 4th and I wanted to go on our anniversary trip to the um money and marriage in Nashville. And I was like, I know that we're in debt. I was like, but I feel like this is an investment like in our marriage because we need it. And he disagrees with me. I was like, "Well, I can I can pay for that." But he said he'd rather go on a cruise, but I'm not doing >> I think you need a new marriage counselor >> because the marriage counselor said that you can only talk about a budget 2 hours a week and a budget isn't even the problem. >> Yes, I I agree. So that that was you getting smacked into the corner by a marriage counselor as being unreasonable trying to ask him to be reasonable with his contribution to the household. That's not a budgeting problem. That's a values and income >> priority problem. >> That's a priorities problem. I'm choosing uh to put $4,000 in a college student's car payment >> instead of taking care of my new wife. Um that's a problem. That's not a budget. That's not you talking about Ramsay or you talking about a budget issue. That that's a that's a problem of respect. And who's you know you guys he didn't ask you about that. He just declared you get nothing and you have to feed me this month. That's not a budget problem. And so I think your marriage counselor is a weenie. I think you need to get a good strong marriage counselor that will sit down and talk to both of you clearly about your priorities and your communication over those priorities. And you guys did a lousy job of setting this up prior to marriage cuz this is a barrel of fish hooks you both walked into and you did no planning about it. >> That is correct. >> Yeah. And that's and so you're reaping that right now and it's just harsh. I'm so sorry. But yeah, I I I'm you can have two free tickets to come to Marriage and Money. I'll give it to you. >> We'll give them to you. But I don't also don't want you to think that that's the answer to your problem. >> You need more than a marriage and money weekend at Ramsay will give you. >> You need in-depth crisis marriage counseling. You have not even been married a year and this thing is unraveling rapidly and before my eyes as you talk about it. It's really scaring me for you guys. I I feel that also >> he's so he's so checked out in what his new wife's needs are >> that he's not even dealing with it >> and that it's again Jamie you're not being unreasonable right do you know what I'm saying like like you're not crazy like the fact that that you're like this feels off this doesn't feel right I don't feel supported I feel like I can't believe he's paying all of this money that he's barely making all the way over there like where he can't even contribute to our own household like I mean it'd be different if you guys were making a crazy amount of money and you were debtree and you guys both chose to still support the kids while they were in college, right? Like that if that was agreed upon idea as your new marriage, but it's so splintered right now. >> Yeah. >> And then you're kind of getting the the short end of the stick. >> I agree. >> So, what is it? What What kind of a business is he in? >> Um, he's in the roofing business. Um, >> he doesn't make he doesn't make money in roofing. Why? um he he doesn't want to go and knock doors anymore. He's he's 54. Um and he has some people that work underneath him. He basically works off of referrals and um cuz he's been doing it for so long, >> but he's not got enough business. >> He is correct. Um I have told him he needs to find something else. So, we just had a conversation yesterday and by the way, I don't care. I don't care what you do. Um, either if you're not going to be working, um, then I need you to help more around the house. I need you to pick up kids. I need you to drop kids off. >> It's not It's not really That's not really an option. >> That's just I mean, you you really didn't mean that. >> I think she's just I think she's craving something. >> Well, that's not work. some kind of initial. >> I want him to go make some money. >> Well, I do and I I do too. >> Yeah, I think that's I think that's what he needs to do and take care of his obligations which includes his kids and his wife and you take care of your obligation which includes him and you know your all's life going forward, your kids. And so yeah, um you got you guys really need to get back to another marriage counselor and uh get in touch with your church and ask them who a good strong marriage counselor that can guide you guys through this. And um uh you're going to have to have a reset, a solid reset on the expectations of this going forward and then live into those. And two hours of budgeting a week doesn't fix this. And again, I'll give you two tickets. I don't even think you'll come. But um >> yeah, Jenna will pick up. We'll give them We'll give you guys some. >> Yeah. Just we'll call you. We'll put them at We'll call >> and uh we'll make arrangements right now on the phone. You hang on. I'll make arrangements. >> We can email them to you or something. >> Yeah. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your