Parents Asking Their 10-Year-Old For Money?

brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. >> Well guys, um I'm going to start off with a little bit of a doozy here, so I do apologize, but uh my wife and I have just recently found out that her parents are asking my wife's uh sisters that are under 18 for money for basic bills. Um we don't really know. You know, I've heard in the past you guys say like don't say anything unless they come to you and ask for help or guidance. Um we're just kind of stuck because um you know, my sister-in-laws are 10, 12, and then 17. Um so I'm just kind of we're kind of confused on what to do. >> How much money do they have? >> Well, so my so the younger sister-in-laws, they were, you know, working over the summer. Um, so basically what happened was is, you know, uh, my sister, my 10-year-old sister-in-law told us that, well, mom and dad kept saying that we don't have enough money for groceries this month and blah blah blah. So, I offered him my $400 that I got from dogsitting and they took it for groceries. And then um our or my 17-year-old sister-in-law came over two weeks ago and said that they had quote unquote borrowed $1,000 from her for for bills for last month to cover. >> Is this true? Are they struggling that bad? >> I I I would I would say so. Yes. It's been talked about. You know, a couple months ago, my wife overheard that they are like $10,000 short a month. He my father-in-law owns his own business and it's been I know it's been struggling for quite a while. >> So, I I I want to put things in order. I have you hear us say on the all the time, you can't help family unless they come ask you. >> But before that, I'm always going to protect kids, >> of course. And if you got a 10-year-old that's coming to you saying, "Dad is saying, I don't have enough money for groceries. I need your dogsitting money." Then I would I personally I would insert myself into that situation. >> Okay. Okay. And that's what we were thinking because, you know, it's it's really hard for me to have respect for people like that that, you know, they are in a situation where they rely on everybody else to get them out of their problems. They blame everybody else except for themselves. Um, a lot of this is self-caused just based off their their career choices that they've had. So, it's hard for me to have respect. It's hard for my wife to have respect as well. So, >> how long have you how long have you been worried? >> Uh, it'll be two years in February. Okay. Um, yeah, I'm going to take back what I said. I would have your wife call, not you, but >> Okay. >> Go ahead. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And um I I think she Yeah, because here's the thing. If the two of you go over there at two years into this and insert yourself in this situation, you are changing the trajectory of the next 40 years. >> Of course. Yep. >> It's not simply this situation. Um yes, what you're describing is 100% disgusting. I'm not questioning that at all. Um, and if they were abusing the children physically, we would just turn them over to children's services, >> right? Yeah, that's not happening. >> Be that simple. Um, because we're just not going to allow that to happen. They're just abusing them financially. And um, so I I think um but I don't think your wife your wife's what, 20some years old. >> Yeah, she's uh she's 23. >> Yeah. If she sits down with her mom and dad and says, "Y'all need to stop this. Sh to become responsible adults, my guess is there's about a 0% chance that that's going to have any impact >> 110%. >> And if you show up saying I don't respect you guys, they're going to tell you to get out of their house. That's not going to help either. >> Yeah, that's that's a 40 year that's a 40-year long discussion. >> Um I'm trying to think, in other words, what will work is more what I'm thinking about. >> What what Dave, tell me if I'm wrong. So, my thought is when I when I say insert myself into that, it would be your wife calling mom and dad and saying, "Can we talk?" Um, and she's got to be careful because the backlash could come down on a 10-year-old, right? >> Yeah. >> Um, but we just, >> you know, and my Sorry, go >> ahead. And and my idea at first was like, you know, my wife, I told her, I was like, "What if you like take your mom out to coffee and be like, you know, mom, we've heard some of this stuff from, you know, my sisters. Like, how bad is it? >> Is it is it really is that really happening? Are y'all really that bad?" >> Yeah. And is is there is there ways we can help? Or is there ways we can support you or is there education? They may say, "Absolutely not." And then it's about giving your your niece or your sister-in-law, if you will, a safe place that she always knows she's loved somewhere else, but that's just going to she's going to have eight years of mom and dad borrowing money. >> Exactly. Exactly. And you know, that's our fear because, you know, they're setting the kids up for just a lifelong >> Yeah. But but dude, you're 25. You're 24. I would stay out of that for right now. >> Yeah. That's not that's not >> Okay. >> That's actually not true either. It's a it's a bad it's a bad on-ramp to life, but it's not an on-ramp that can't be corrected. A lot of us have bad on-ramps. >> Yeah. >> Um and then we get the opportunity to meet Jesus and change our life. Okay. So, >> uh and those kids have got the same thing. They're not being physically abused. So, >> yeah. So, let me refer when I say insert myself, I don't mean you flex and put on a sleeveless shirt and go bang on the door. I I think I think your wife >> taking mom out for coffee, taking dad out and saying, "Hey, we just happened to hear this." H >> I'm worried about y'all. How How bad >> I'm worried about my sisters. >> Yeah. >> How bad is it? >> Definitely. >> And then y'all two have a hard conversation about could you help, will you help, and all that cuz the next question is going to be, well, can we have $500? Um and y'all already have that predetermined discussion before she heads into that. >> No, go ahead. I'll give you the answer to that. No, you're right. because they're saying they're $10,000 short a month. >> So, I'm not throwing good money after bad. >> So, I we only give Ramse's only give into situations where we create a sustainable story. >> We don't throw money at something $5 at something that's a $100 problem. That's not you're not creating a sustainable story. Then you've got to fix the problem. You got to get down under it. And so that's going to involve maybe what I would pay is for them to get with a Ramsey coach. And the Ramsey coach boxes her ears and says, "You have to sell the three cars. You guys, you cannot afford these stupid cars. You can't afford to live in that house. Oh, maybe you need to get a job cuz your life your your business is not a business. It loses money. It's called a hobby." And so, no, we're going to have to, you know, the these types of things are going on under the scene because if they're $10,000 short, the $1,000 from the 17-year-old or the $400 from the 10-year-old doesn't fix it, nor does $500 from you fix it. So, don't do that. But do say, "I'll I'll I'll cheer you on. I'll help you do a budget. I'll connect you with some people and pay for it for you to get some coaching to get yourself out of this. You've struggled with this your whole life. I've watched you. I'm your daughter. And, you know, I'd love for you to be free from these demons." And you and I have talked about this before on the air, but parents don't like hearing money advice. So, if she sits down and says, "Y'all need to start," that's not going to go well. But that idea of sitting down and saying, "Hey, I'm worried about you. How bad is it? Are y'all okay?" Um, we are and then tell them your story. >> That's a different avenue. >> Yeah. We are on a budget and it's giving us great peace. We have sold some stuff to be able to get in get our our income in line with our outgo. And it's given us great peace. And if I could ever help you get with our coach, we'll show you how to do that. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your