Russell Peters | Lost in Translation: The Mandarin Name Mix-Up

We'll take that one. That one will work. Sure. Why not? That's... Is that an Asian guy with an afro? What the ****? What kind of broken Asians do you have over here? What style of Asian are you, sir? You're full Chinese. Does that mean you just ate dinner and you're full? I'm a full Chinese. No more. And how did you get an afro? What the ****? You sure there wasn't a ******* Huck Wai floating around in the family somewhere? And what's your name? Nick, for sure, yeah. No, I agree. It's gotta be Nick. It's... One of the great Chinese names. Right after the Ming Dynasty, there was the Nick Dynasty, and... Where's your family from? Hong Kong or... Mainland? Oh. Do you speak Mandarin or Cantonese? Mandarin. And what's your Chinese name, Nick? Because, you know, if they're from Mainland China, there's no ******* way they went... Nick. I mean, it's possible that they made that noise, but... I don't think they were naming you when they did it. What's your Chinese name, Nick? What? Xi Xinyi? Xi Xi? What kind of hockey is that? Xi Xinyi? Xi Xinyi hockey. And what's your family name, Xi? Xin. So you should be Xin Xinyi. Right. Not Xi Xinyi. Xin Xinyi. Got it. You don't find that to be better than Nick? And who'd you come with tonight, Nick? That guy? The guy with the *******... What the **** is on your shirt? Are those whales with straws in them? Are you the reason we're using paper ******* straws? You guys have any hoodies? We only have one left. But it's got whales with straws in their nose. I'll take it.