This Should Scare The Crap Out Of You

[Music] brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. So, basically, I'm 25 years old and I almost make $90,000 a year. Wow. I'm currently What do you do? Yeah, I'm doing uh digital marketing. Good for you, Noel. Way to go. Thank you so much. Um, and I'm currently working on my MBA program and um I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now. And when we first met, he was making a similar salary to me. But um since a couple of months ago, he was let go from his job. And now he's been unemployed for going on 3 months now. Um we currently live together. And my concern is with all of our combined student loan debt, car debt, and consumer debt. Um I'm a little bit worried if he doesn't find a job, uh should we continue living together? Do we start splitting everything 50/50? Um, do I dip into my savings to help sort Hold on. All right, hold on. Hold on. Okay. Uh, I got to stop you here. Should we start splitting things 50/50? What does that mean? What have you been doing? That's what I want to know. Um, so basically when we decided to start living together, he said that he will cover the rent, which is about like 1,300 a month, and I would pay for groceries and our utilities. And then everything else we pretty much take care of independently. Okay. And now he can't afford it because, right, he's the broke roommate. And so you're going, I guess we need to split. Should I cover? Who's been Well, wait a second. He's been out of work for 3 months. Did he have a severance? Um, he got his PTO pay, but um, who's been paying the rent? Who's been paying the rent for the last 3 months? So, he paid the rent last month and then I paid the rent this month and um Yeah. All right. So, now here's what's interesting to me. So, you called us and we're so thrilled you did. I mean, couldn't be any happier. Um because this is serious stuff, but the fact that you called us and the way you've set this question up, you're like, it leads me to believe that there's been some conversations maybe or he has made some statements or there's a pattern of the way he's handling this that's got you going, uhoh, there are red flags swirling. So what what is it that makes you call and ask this question of should this mean that uh I put the brakes on sharing you know all this kind of stuff and not think about this dude his marriage potential what's happened um well I think what's happening right now is that he has been interviewing for places but nobody seems to be hiring and right he doesn't really want to take a lower paying job or like two part-time jobs in the meantime. And I'm just concerned about how what jobs he's willing to take versus not and being potentially too picky in this environment where it also seems like nobody's hiring. Well, that's true. So, uh just a quick for the rest of our audience and for you, the job market is very soft right now. Unemployment is ekking up. Um this is this is a real thing. So, the job market's very very soft. So what that means is is that it does take longer to get hired because companies aren't hiring as as quickly because quite frankly the economic uncertainty with tariffs and everything else a lot of companies are holding and in a holding pattern. So that's real. But what is also real is is this young man for his own mental and emotional health needs to be doing something. And uh I get the temptation to go I don't want to go backwards. Um, but yeah, this should concern you. And yes, I would not be thinking about anything in this relationship. I I I'll just play your dad for a second cuz I'm probably old enough to be your dad. Um, yeah, I would I would not be thinking about long-term with this young man until we see how he handles this storm. This is a real storm. Um, let me say this on his behalf so I don't sound like the angry, you know, boomer dad. Uh, I'm an Xer, by the way. um that we know from research that losing a job has the same emotional impact as losing a loved one. So I do have a lot of empathy for him and I want you to have that empathy and understanding that he's 3 months into having his world rocked and and so I do have some sympathy there as well as empathy. But to your question uh and I want George to jump in here. Uh I absolutely think today is the day we we should have been separate. I mean, I would have never told you to live with the guy. Um, uh, but you are. No judgment. I'm just telling you, I wouldn't have told you to do it. Um, but I would be separating everything. What what is yours is is yours. What's his is his. And you guys split everything down the middle. And unfortunately, you're romantic roommates. But that's where it ought to be, George. Yeah. I think this is not a a punishment to him of you. I'm moving out cuz you don't have a job. I think you go, "Hey, this was a mistake." And it's just this is making it more and more clear. Uh and it just makes it a weird relationship now because now you're like, "Well, does he get kicked out and he has to go find his own place?" Cuz that might here's the thing. I would have more onus if I needed to cover rent that month. I'm going to be doing Instacart that night. But because he has you to float him, I think that's creating a sense of kind of comfort and complacency in a And yes, it should scare you, by the way, as he's a future mate potentially. I'm going to tell you something right now, and Stacy knows this. If I lost my job, there is no sitting around for three months. Nothing. I'm working. I'm busting it. Uh, and so, yeah, you ought to be concerned by that because here, while I acknowledge that it is an emotional blow, I'm also saying that life sucks sometimes. It hurts. And we don't just sit at home. So imagine you with two littles and if this happens to this guy. So yeah, this ought to scare the crap out of you. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like too, like when I talk to him about it, like my mindset is like if I want a job by this date, I'm having it. I don't care what it is or how much it pays. Like I'm just going to go get it. Love it. And I just feel like he's waiting for like the perfect job and I I I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. So, hey Noel, I'm not telling you what to do in this relationship, but I'm telling you to press pause on the relationship. Meaning, you're not thinking about what this looks like in the future until we see how this dude steps up. And by the way, George, do you have any problem with her telling him that? I don't, but I tend to be a little bit more black and white, you know, like just lay it out there. Well, I can tell she's very professional with her language and her words, and so this is it's it's going to feel like an awkward conversation cuz it is. It's going to be uncomfortable. and how he reacts is not up to you. So, that's the tough part. And it sounds like he's going to be probably deflecting, making excuses, probably going to get upset and defensive. And again, that's very telling. Yeah. When's the lease up? Um, April. Yeah. It's a long ways away. It's a long ways away. Cuz I was like, if this thing were around the corner, I would just tell you, hey, you know what? Let's redefine the relationship. I'm willing to stay in the relationship, but I'm not going to live with you. Uh, I'm concerned about I think you need to say I need to go find a roommate who was able to pay their share of the bills. Well, that's 100% the case. And I would choose a female friend at that point and I would not move in with anyone else until sitcom Thre's Company. You don't even remember that. I do. Three company, too. There we go. But Noel, seriously, you've got to take care of your finances right now because your name's on the lease. Yeah. And my fear is you go, "Well, I guess I'll cover it this month." Don't cover it and then month a roommate. That's kind of a a real And by the way, that's not passive aggressive. That's a legitimate move that's protecting your finances. And if Sparky doesn't like it. Tough. Yeah. I just don't know if, you know, I should just wait and see or if I need to start. No, you shouldn't wait and see. No, you've already got an instinct that this dude is showing a lack of character. I'll say it so you don't have to. That's why you called us. Yeah. And I'm telling you, sweetheart, you're I'm I'm begging you as your fake podcast dad. Your instincts are right. Your instincts are completely right. I can tell by your tone, you are not being cruel and out of control and overreacting. You are not dramatic, Noel. You are You are sharp. You You've got your act together. And by the way, you deserve a guy, whether you're living with him or not, who's like, "Man, Noel's worthless 100%. I'm not going to sit around and play video games and let her pay the rent while I'm eating ramen noodles. And the research bears this out. Professor Scott Galloway says what women are looking for is a man's ability to provide future resources. And so this is a signal and you should be paying attention to it. Don't wait, Noel. Put the pressure on this young guy. Listen to your fake podcast dad. I've never said that before. So much wisdom. Take it from your fake podcast dad. You're worth more, Noel. You're worth way more. And uh you got to take care of you. Create your free every dollar budget today.