My Mother-In-Law Is Harassing Us About Money

[Music] Brought to you by Y Refi. Refinance your defaulted private student loans today at yrefi.com/ Ramsey. >> So, uh me and my wife were newly wed, been married, got married, u February 14th. >> Congrats. >> Our little Valentine's Day wedding. >> Nice. >> Yeah. Yeah, it was it was good. Um we've been together a total of about three and a half years. Uh, we've been we got our own apartment about a little about two years ago and our mother-in-law, well, she wasn't my mother-in-law at first, but she decid she offered to help us with rent. Um, so we took her up on an offer and everything was going good until we got married. Uh couple of months after we got married, she started harassing my wife like through text message like just all kinds of just mean and dirty just vile things just like um just mean things. And then um >> that's fun. >> So she uh we basically decided to just you know um kind of just decline her help because she was um kind of putting stipulations on it. Like one she called and said, "If you want our rent, if you want my half of the rent this month, you have to prove to me XYZ." Which was no problem because we proved it to her. But it would that, you know, it was just like out of nowhere, you know. >> Well, she out of nowhere started harassing her own daughter. This woman's cray cray. >> Yes. >> Did you know she was crazy before you married? >> Yes. >> Well, what are you Okay, quick life lesson. >> I tried. Don't ever, ever, ever fight your instinct on relationship stuff with family members because if the crazy is in the family, there's more crazy is going to show up. So, let's let's move forward on this and >> put up a boundary. Put up a boundary. She can't Yeah. >> Yes. We our boundary was blocking her. >> Um, so that was that that's that. But ever since ever and before before we decided to um stop taking her help. We were doing great with staying up on staying our bills were paid on time. Everything was good. >> Um but we didn't save we didn't save anything. My wife was saying, "Hey, we need to save." But >> me being bad with money. We made I made very bad decisions and we ended up in a situation where we didn't have any we weren't ready for this situation that we were in. >> You weren't ready for it. Period. Because I I just want to rewind real quick. You got you've said twice now that you guys were great >> at paying everything while she was giving you money, which means you were never great because you didn't have enough money to pay your bills. So, exactly. Exactly. >> All right. So, where do we stand today? Her money's gone. Thank goodness. How short are you? >> Okay. So, we are paying the rent, but we are late every month. So, every check we're we're coming up with like we're catching up. So this next first of the month we're going to be short. The next we'll catch up. >> Okay. How much how much do you guys make per month? What do you both bring in? >> We between us we bring probably oh I don't know the amount between us I just did the yearly. Um the yearly between both of us is 50k. >> Between the both of you is 50k. >> Yes. >> What do you guys do for a living? Uh, I do aerospace manufacturing and she's a barista in a hotel. >> Okay. I love that you said you do aerospace manufacturing, but let's get real. What is your job? You're only making $25,000 a year average between the two of you. What are you doing? >> I I do I do debur the burring, which is like the lowest. I am currently um in training. Like I do have CNC experience. I'm in training like within the next year. I do plan on moving up. I'm in the process of moving up to to CNC position. How much would you make will come with a raise? Um, probably about $2 or $3 more. Probably about 25 at 28 at the max. I'm guessing >> that's after, you know, I get some schooling and more training. >> How old are you guys in the process? >> I am 39. We're both 39. >> Okay. >> 39. And you guys, you don't even know what you make. So, it's really hard for Rachel to coach you up on You don't even know how much you make. You've just given us We got a $50,000 figure here. So, what debt? >> Here, here's what Here's what's got to happen, Leo. I'm gonna be really honest with you, okay? If Ken and I were out to drinks with you and your and your newlywed wife, >> this is what we would This is This is what I would say to you. >> Cocktail wisdom. Here it comes. >> I would say everything you've known and thought and done with money, we're going to do the complete opposite. >> Good decision. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Meaning, you don't really know where your money's going. You don't really know how much you make or bring in a month. That's going to change. You're going to know to the scent because you are going to be so detailed, so intense, so OCD about your money and where every dollar is going that you're going to be able to rattle off what you guys spend at the grocery store every week, okay? Because you guys are going to have a very, very detailed budget. And we're going to give you some stuff, Leo, to help you help this happen, okay? >> But that's the thing. >> We've been trying to >> Well, and and I'm gonna be honest, too, Leo. you guys, you know, your jobs, what you're making, you guys need to be making double. So, she's working as a barista. >> If I were her, I would be applying to be a receptionist somewhere, right? Go be an assistant to someone like >> go, you have to be in this position cuz you're both adults now and and if you want to have a family and you guys want to, you know, extend your lives, these incomes have to go up, which means probably a change of career, probably more for her. Yours sounds like it hopefully has some. >> It's taking off. It's taking off. >> She has kids. So, we already have kids in the like They're her kids. They're my stepkids. >> Okay. >> Um, so we their kids are definitely in the they're not full-time with us. >> All right. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. >> It's It's a Okay. Yeah. >> Hold on. We have limited. No, no, you're great. We're trying to help you. How much do you make per hour? Do you know that? >> I make $21 an hour. >> Okay. So a year from now you think or believe you're going to get a2 to3 an hour raise. >> Yes. >> That's not that's not a career that's Yeah. But that's not a career that's taken off. >> Yes. >> You're not taking off. You're on the doorstep of 40. >> And And you've got to get serious. I'm not beating up on you. I'm just going, dude. Like you you've got to have a plan that moves you forward. not a year from now to a $2 to $3 raise. >> Okay. Same thing with So, we need to collectively get together and say, "What do we want for our lives? What's a target?" >> Exactly. >> What must be true for us to make $100,000 >> combined? >> You guys listen, time is moving, bro. >> Yes, you're right. You're right. You're right. >> We don't have time at 39 to wait a year to make a$2 to3 bump. and Leo, what do you guys owe on your cars? What do y'all own on your cars? >> Uh, so, okay, so I own my vehicle that I just purchased under a year ago, but it's giving me issues. So, getting a second job has been it's a possibility, but just having >> No, no, no, no. See, that's the problem. >> What is What What does she What does she owe on hers? >> Her she owes 1,500 on her car. >> Okay. Okay. Okay. What uh what other debt do you guys have? Credit card. We have >> 1,500 credit total is what she owes. That's what's left on her loan for her car. >> Yes. Great. Yes. Great. Great. Great. >> Our debt and credit is all we only have our credit card debt, which is $8,000. >> Okay. Okay. Okay. So, tonight >> and that's all our debt. >> All your debt. That's great. That's awesome. Okay. So, I would cut up the credit cards. Don't even make it a temptation. Your goal for next year have a balance on our credit card. >> Well, that's great. We'll cut them up anyways. I don't Well, you have a balance. You got $8,000. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean like we don't have anything available to to spend on it. So you're right. Like >> Oh, it's maxed out. Okay, perfect. >> You say that like that's a good thing. Can I just say you don't >> It's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. I'm embarrassed about it. >> No. Okay. So, no, you're do this is great. Okay. So, here's what I want you to do when you get off this call. Okay. You both need to apply for second jobs. Your goal is to get a $1,000 emergency fund. Okay. In the next 60 days, 30 days, 40 days, and catching up on rent. Those are your two goals, emergency fund and catching up on rent. With the second job should should help free up some of that cash. And then once that happens, you guys start paying off this debt. Smallest to largest, the car and then the credit cards. You can do this, Leo. Stay on the line. Kelly's going to pick up. We'll give you some stuff. >> Y Refi refinances delinquent private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn more at yfy.com/ramsey.