Self Talk That Elevates Masterclass

All right, hi everyone. So today's topic is self-talk that elevates, so I'm just going to jump right into it. Self-talk that elevates, we're going to break down how we interact with those inner narratives that tend to lead us into insecurities, doubt, fears, procrastination, and get into how to overcome them with a stronger narrative that lifts us up and out of these lower states. As I'm getting started, are people able to see the screen? Okay, just want to make sure. Okay, so what we're going to cover today, so we have about 60 minutes, we're going to cover what is negative self-talk, what are the pitfalls that keep us stuck. I'm going to introduce my three-step framework to overcome it, and then I'm going to share a little bit about my program that I've put together and what it entails, kind of like how we're going to implement the three-step framework, and then a Q&A and live coaching. So that's a lot to cover, so I'm going to keep going here. So for connecting to, sorry, this is for like if you want to find maybe more purpose in your life, then this probably would be a good fit for you. So if you're wanting to like figure out how to how do I show up better for myself and the people around me, and if you're ready for a mindset that really embodies your true beliefs, this is going to be a good fit. So like people that are really ready to make the next steps, but maybe they're not sure how to do it, like you're ready to let go of these old patterns and thought habits, but maybe that you're not sure how to, or maybe you're a coach on here. I know there's a lot of coaches that have joined today, people that I've worked with before, and if you're a coach and maybe you're looking for a framework to better support yourself and your clients, like this could be a really good fit. Also, if this is also for you, if you, for example, experienced challenges in this area, like feeling unseen and unappreciated, struggling with procrastination or finishing tasks, or maybe you've constantly struggled with low energy, or you thought maybe this job or this relationship is the problem, maybe me and my partner just aren't the right fit. So again, these are things that we're going to address in the course of this program and today. So I'm going to share first a little bit about my own story. So I have a long history with this topic. By the time I was 12 years old, I was very angry, resentful, and very depressed. So when I sought help, it made me feel even more invisible. My parents sent me to a therapist who did not validate anything I was feeling and made me feel like there was something wrong with me. So what happened as a result of that is I ended up stuffing down my feelings for a really long time, and that turned into chronic depression, hopelessness, existential crisis. And as I got older, I searched for meaning in work and relationships and just completely lost myself to them. I ended up feeling more burnt out and more depleted than I'd ever been. At the time, I measured my value by what other people valued me for, and I had no idea who I was. So I kept waiting for something external to save me, but nothing ever did. And I pushed it down until I couldn't push it down anymore. And so by 2015, I was living in Miami. I couldn't get out of bed, and that was the bottom, the rock bottom for me. I knew it could only get worse from there. I could see that trajectory, and I knew that if I don't figure this out, it's not going to get any better. So I took the steps that I had to to stabilize myself, and then I threw myself into a quest for making sense of this life and why I'm feeling this way. So at that transition, I pursued purposeful work again at the cost of financial stability, to be honest. I pursued joy, fun, and pleasure. Those things worked for a little bit, and then they didn't. So I kept finding myself in this low place again, like wondering what is the secret to finally feeling better? And I spent years in trial and error, leaving jobs, moving cities, spending a lot of money trying to figure this out, and not able to hold down a full-time job, like trying to heal from this debilitating negativity that kept resurfacing. And through all that, I did find a pathway that works. I used to think that I needed to find purpose through work or relationships, but now I have innate purpose. I often say I could pump gas or wait tables and I could be happy, because my purpose doesn't come from what I do, it comes from who I am. And so today I can honestly say that I no longer feel depressed, and I haven't at least in the last six years or so, it has not come back up for me. And I know in my heart that it never will again. But it was a long journey for me, and it was much longer than it needed to be, which is why I created this program, to share a pathway to healing that actually works, to cut through everything that I had to go through. And it doesn't take five years to get there, and it's not dependent on your current circumstances. So to share just a little bit about my path and experience with this, after grad school, I began working in the behavioral health field. My career definitely moved in tandem with my own healing journey. So I was very much searching externally for what was working and seeking out job moves and career moves that were in tandem with that. So I worked in public health for a three-year NIH-funded grant for a major university. I worked in corporate health and wellness spaces after that. I worked for an employee assistance program for a few years, and that program was offering free mental health counseling to employees of different companies. And what I found was I did not see real change happening. I didn't see that anyone was actually improving from all this work. And the mental health issues were getting worse in the communities that I was in and in the jobs that I was in. So people were having a harder time keeping their employees, and mental health was getting much, much worse over time. Companies would tell me, you know, we used to have, like, one mental health crisis episode a year with our employees, and now it's happening every single month. And this was even before COVID. And then since COVID, it's gotten exponentially worse. That was when I found that it doesn't happen at the social level. Change happens internally, and it moves outward. So I moved into the transformational space around 2019, and I began coaching full-time in 2020. Since then, I've trained over 1,500 coaches. A lot of you guys here are coaches today that have worked with me. I've mentored many, many more. So, you know, probably over 100 coaches or so in the past five years. And I've had incredible results with my own clients, too. My personal goal in my work as a coach, which is what I'm most proud of, is empowering people with implementing tools and systems in their lives that save their marriages, their families, and their careers. That's really what I care about, that people don't have to think that, oh, you know, this is the problem. This is what's causing me the issue. It's really that I don't have the tools to navigate through it. So just a few clients that I worked with have shared here. I'll just share a few testimonials that they've given me. But one client was ready for change and did really incredible work on herself. And she was ready to walk away when she came to me from her marriage and her job and her life that she built. And she said, rather than validating my urge to escape or feed negative self-talk, that I had asked her powerful questions that helped her see how she was showing up and still supporting me for healthy boundaries. So it helped her shift how she viewed the situation and the people in it. And that move towards presence, possibility, and softness for her was life-changing. Another one of my clients said that, you know, I'm the first and only coach she's ever worked with that she felt she could finally breathe with. And with my support, she broke through many lifelong barriers in herself, her career, and her family. And she transformed into the mother and the woman and the partner that she always knew that she could be. And so these are both clients that worked with me for only three to six months. And they haven't needed to keep seeking for support out there. Like, they gained tools from the work together that we had that carried them forward and transformed how they move in the world. So getting into the topic, self-talk. So I think of negative self-talk as, for example, like intrusive thoughts, fears, victim-based narratives, limiting beliefs. And I don't think it's all inherently bad. It just gets out of balance. So having fear around something might help us, you know, help make us feel safe or help us make decisions that keep us safe. Even with intrusive thoughts, like, there's a reason. Like, they have something to tell us. There's a reason they're popping up. The issue is when they get too strong and they start making decisions for us or they stop us from living our lives. It leads to unbalance and very immense unhappiness. I know from experience. So where do the negative thoughts come from? So I've just noted down a few places that are common. I'm not saying this is an exhaustive list, but they come from internalized voices. So it could be like our parents saying, oh, you're too sensitive. It could come from cultural messaging, such as, like, what success or what beauty looks like. It can come from thought patterns from past experience. Like, I learned that if I give my heart away to someone, they're going to break it. So I have to protect myself. They might come from protective strategies, things that they're trying to help us avoid pain. Also, emotional disconnect. Like, if we burn out, it feels like nothing matters. That might be what the thoughts sound like. Or in my case, like, existential crisis. Just everything became, what's the point? So these are just a few of the places it comes from. What does it look like? So common things that show up for people are catastrophizing. Maybe indicating that we don't have the tools to deal with overwhelm in a certain area of life. It could be, it could show up as a really harsh inner critic, like, feeling like nothing I ever do is good enough. It might be a competitive mentality, so rooted in insecurity. Or maybe not really seeing your value as a human. Binary thinking. So this is common with, like, thinking, for example, like, I'm a good mom or I'm a bad mom. There's no in between. I'm good or bad. There's nothing in the middle. Overgeneralizing. Like, it never gets better. This always happens to me. There are shame narratives, such as, like, I'm the only person experiencing this, or I'm a burden on others. And then resistance. Like, it's not going to make a difference anymore. And so there's some more subtle forms of it too. And I point these out as well, because even though they're less harsh, they're still destructive and negative. Like, procrastination. Like, I'll just do it tomorrow. Or I don't feel like it. Minimizing. Like, it's not a big deal, or other people have it worse. Disempowering thoughts. Like, oh, this is just how I am. I can't change. I've heard people in my family say that. They'll say, like, oh, I just have, like, a negative mindset that comes from this side of the family. And I don't think that even the things that feel innate to us, I don't think are actually true. And then entitlement. Like, I shouldn't have to do this, which has very destructive effects for it too. So why is this problem of negative self-talk so hard to solve? Like, we get over it, we're feeling good, and then suddenly it pops back up in another area of life, right? You know, it cycles in. And it can feel like it can never fully be conquered. So I like this quote from Dr. Gabor Mate. He says, we may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind with which we create our world. And that's really what I'm trying to do with this program. And so, in, you know, following this quote, the world created our minds, is what he's suggesting. So our minds, at least not fully, were not fully created by us. So our minds were shaped by our environment. So that would mean, like, the problem is, if our minds were created by our environment, at least in part, the limiting beliefs, the cultural voices, all those things that tell us bad things about ourselves, they're not inherent to who we are. It's designed to get our needs met externally, to scan for threats, and to keep us safe. But it actually is not who we are at our core. Also, like, humans are fragile. And so it's like an outer shell that protects a vulnerable interior. But we outgrow it. So, like, we're not the hermit crab who then has to find a bigger shell. What's required to solve this problem is not a new shell. It's a complete transformation. And so it's, the current mindset is 100% constructed to protect you. And transforming that means it needs something outside of itself to change it. So this is why we have so many problems with solving this mindset. You can't solve the problem with the same mind that created it. So the ego cannot resolve the issues created by the ego. You can't think your way out of overthinking. You can't judge your way out of self-judgment. You can't resolve the problem with external factors, such as, like, I just need that relationship, or I just need to get out of debt, or I just need to find a different job. Like, those are band-aids. They might have temporary relief. But they're not going to give you a permanent fix, because you're still going to have stressors that come up in your life. No matter what, you're still going to have, your body's going to break down at some point. You're going to have to take care of family members as they get older. So, you know, how do you deal with those kind of stresses? You need a mindset that will be with you long term. So another false belief around shifting our mindset is that there must be an inherent trauma, or something is wrong with me. And so to tackle the root of the issue, I need to uncover this and heal this deep wound that's running, that's ruining my life. And so that is actually not true. You do not need to resolve or uncover the root of trauma to heal. And for some people, like, to go deep into that without having, like, a good foundation and base for what you're doing first, it can actually be further traumatizing. So it shouldn't be undertaken haphazardly. But when we can't figure out a reason for something, we tend to make up a reason. And this also creates a false belief. Like, I've heard people say, for example, oh, I'm an emotional eater, because my parents used to make me clean my plate. And so now I have this habit of cleaning my plate. And so I've heard people say that, and I'm like, actually, you don't know that that's why you eat emotionally. You're connecting two things together that might have zero connection, just to put the blame on something or to make the problem unsolvable. Like, it's basically saying, oh, it's just my circumstances. And then you get to stick in a disempowered mentality. When actually that you could figure out that emotional eating, for example, is something that you, sorry, you could figure out what it is by paying attention to what triggers it. And then you might notice, like, oh, it's a stress response. And now you have a starting point to work on the issue instead of making up the reason why it's there. All right. So checking to make sure I'm not missing anyone in the waiting room. Okay. The next pitfall that I see is that people that people make with trying to resolve this issue is that their thoughts are focused on only seeing the negative, only seeing the problem. It's like an all or nothing mentality. So I see that I'm depressed or I'm happy. I'm addicted or I'm sober. We're getting along or we're fighting. I'm motivated or I'm burnt out. There's nothing in between. But if you actually observe how things are changing, you would notice like, oh, I'm actually seeing that while these negative thoughts are still here, they're getting quieter. That means that something is working. So you have to train yourself to start seeing these things. Like, for example, if you try to lose weight, you might still be overweight, but you notice, like, hey, I dropped five pounds. Something is working. I like the body image examples because it really shows, like, how something takes time to create change. And the next pitfall that people fall into is people have no idea what the transformational process actually looks like and they give up when it gets too difficult. This is something I've helped countless people through because it's something that I've noticed as I've coached so many different people at this point. But your mind is a system of various parts. So if you make a change to that system, to one part of it, it's not isolated. There's going to be resistance to that that pops up and physical and emotional changes that will also take place. So, you know, an example using from before is if you're working on emotional eating, as you become more present with your physical body and your triggers, you're going to experience discomfort as you transition to getting your needs met in a different way. So, I mean, I've had clients that have experienced getting, like, a temporary cold or not feeling very well or, like, their nerve endings feel like they're on fire. Like, intense things like that. Intense emotional dysregulation and negative voices that can get a lot stronger in the process. And it doesn't last very long, but they think something is wrong or they get scared or and they want to run back to their comfort zone. They give up because they don't know what to expect with what's happening. Like, I'm putting in this work and it's getting worse. It's not getting worse. But the thing that you're trying to overcome doesn't want to lose its power. And so it gets stronger in the process of, like, dying out. So, yes, mental changes can have intense physical manifestations. And you need to be aware of this so that you're not giving up too quickly in the work that you're doing. And the last pitfall I want to mention is that information does not equal transformation. We have all the info out there, but we have no idea how to navigate it. And so and I was lost in that for a really long time and even had people take advantage of the fact that I didn't know and try to lead me down certain paths to get their own selfish needs met. So, typically, people teach you what worked for them. And then while the problem might manifest the same, like negative narratives, what got you there is unique. So you need a path that's built uniquely for you. There are, of course, many great tools out there. But without a foundational reset, no change will be lasting, even with ongoing coaching or therapy. Coaching and therapy tools that do work, they work because they're aligned to certain principles, which I'm going to lay out next. Okay, so this is why I developed the Strong Mind Method. It's a three-step approach, which I'm going to walk you through. It's designed to support the development of a mind that is resilient, disciplined, compassionate, and authentically yours. A fully actualized version of yourself. It doesn't mean you become that immediately, but it's a pathway towards that. And it's not created by your ego mind. Its foundation is to align with the principles of your higher self. So, in effect, it's a methodology that's built on your higher self, the person that you know you are at your core and that you're striving to walk back towards. There's a concept in martial arts that I really like, and the concept is hard on the inside, soft on the outside. Or they say steel wrapped in cotton, meaning that you're soft on the outside, like you're kind and you're compassionate no matter what the situation is, because you have a stronger, solid structure to support you on the inside. Most people, it's the opposite. They have a hard outer shell to protect a soft interior. So, they have to be defensive and always be protecting themselves because they don't have that structure to support themselves. And so, this is really my foundation, my method to a strong mind and a successful coaching career. And this is what works for every client that I work with without fail, as long as they're willing to engage the process. The best part about this is that your circumstances don't matter. You can have anything going on in your life. You don't need to leave your job. You don't need a new relationship. The situation does not have to change. But if it does require change or you do want to make changes in your life, that will occur naturally when you are in alignment with your true self. You'll naturally know the directions that you want to move in. I like this image because a lion would typically hunt a lamb, kind of like your ego mind will typically hunt and exploit your weaknesses. But with this method, we give that predator a new job. He's going to protect the lamb. And so, the lamb represents love, innocence, the true you who was born into this world. And the lion shifts from being the predator to the protector. So, we don't get rid of that mind, we give it a new job, give it a new focus. So, now I'm going to break down each of the three steps that I introduced to build that inner structure. So, each step is important and there's an order to them. We start with the foundation, which is loving awareness. So, or you might say like compassionate presence, something like that. Most people will probably agree that the foundation of the universe is love. Like if you believe in God or a higher power, you would typically believe that that power is compassionate and unconditionally loving at its core. This is also something that like you feel for your children. Typically, you feel unconditional love for them. You don't always show up perfectly as a parent, but there's an unconditional love underneath. Love is foundational to who you are and it needs to be the foundation of your mindset. Because a mind that's at war with itself is like a country at war. It's divided. It's easy to conquer. It's not solid. And to make it solid, it starts with a foundation of love. And you can't change anything until your mind accepts the current circumstances and meets you in a place of compassion. And so, this isn't just something that we talk about or think about. There's tools and methods that are used to develop this inner loving presence. But it's not about loving yourself in like a surface level, like putting affirmations on my mirror kind of way. This is about accessing something deeper that is innate to all of us, like the most pure and the most pure and core parts of who we are. And so, but that part of us gets dim over time as the other parts of us become stronger. So, in this step, we're going to work on cultivating a relationship with all parts of ourselves, acceptance of our current circumstances and the people in our lives, developing awareness of our false and limiting beliefs that are taking over and strengthening the foundation of compassion within us. So, I think that loving awareness, it's our foundation, but I also think it can be thought of as a muscle and it grows over time as we work it out. We have to make sure we're using it. So, this step gives you a true foundation for change and it aligns with the truth of all spiritual paths and higher principles. Anything built without compassion and love at the foundation is not going to be sustainable. Like you look at even the businesses and things like that that exist in the world, I think most at their core were built, and the best ones at least, with wanting to help the people around them. There's something good at the core. And so, presence without love is just vigilance. It leads nowhere. But if you have a base of love and acceptance, you grow faster. Your resentment dissolves. You don't need the armor because your self-worth comes from within. You can be present with what is rather than running or hiding from reality. And my friend calls compassion a superpower because the field of compassion and acceptance is more healing than medicine. It has a limitless capacity and you can always grow more compassion in yourself. So, this isn't just a step in a journey. It's an internal shift in something always in your awareness. Like this is your foundation. So, I'm going to share a client's story here just to illustrate this and just to share that anytime I share about a client, like the identifiers and the names are always changed. So, in this case, this is a story about Iris, a younger client. She had intense intrusive thoughts. She was actually diagnosed by a therapist with OCD. And her thoughts told her that she was a bad person. And they were very, very intense. Like they'd be screaming at her. She was undergoing ketamine treatment and came to me through a clinic that she was working with. And so, we began working together. The first thing that we did was look for the trigger of the thoughts. Why are these negative, like what are they coming up around? And found that they were coming up around resentment towards her mother. And that caused them to come in. And so, I asked if we could explore the resentment a little bit. She wouldn't even let herself open that door. The negative thoughts would start beating her up once she started to feel the resentment. And so, what we found was that her mother was crossing a boundary because Iris didn't feel comfortable setting a boundary. She didn't want to lose connection with her mother. And so, she started to resent her mother instead because she didn't feel comfortable speaking a boundary to her. When she became aware of the dynamic through the work that we did, we talked about how to set boundaries and communicate them from a place of compassion. Now, this was uncomfortable at first. And her mom's feelings, yeah, they were hurt. But we also found, that relationship was really important to her. So, we found healthier ways to maintain connection while still setting the boundary, like engaging in activities they both enjoyed together. And so, their relationship transformed and her mind became stronger. And she was no longer victimized to the extent by these intrusive thoughts. And if they did pop up, she now saw them as a sign of something in her life that was out of alignment to her true self. And so, she knew what to do next when they would pop up. So, step two is a values alignment. So, if love is your foundation, then principles are going to be your inner structure. So, in this step, we align how we show up in the world with our principles. So, for example, if I'm showing up to get my needs met, I might think, okay, I want this relationship in my life because I need to feel control. I need to feel validation. I want comfort. I want certainty. I want love. So, I'll chase what gives me that. And then you bounce from job to job. You bounce from relationship to relationship, always hoping the next thing fixes how you feel. And you end up feeling depleted, lonely, misunderstood. This was my story. This is how I lived. But if you live according to your principles, then that kind of living is, it says, I live with who I want to be. My actions are aligned with what I believe in, not just what feels good or what needs I'm trying to get met. So, therefore, in this step, we're building a life designed by our higher self. And we also, in this step, do an energy audit. So, if you're feeling drained, then most likely you're not in alignment with your principles and values. So, you might say, like, for example, I value success. But you're really chasing a title or trying to prove something to, you know, someone from your past, maybe. Not even realizing it might be subconscious. So, I had a client, Joseph. He came to me for career support. He was working on so many businesses and he was completely burnt out. He was working one job to fund other businesses. And as I listened to him share about his problem and asked me for guidance, I became curious about it. I was like, where is his heart? Like, why is he draining himself so much? It didn't make sense. So, I told him I didn't understand the why. And he got quiet and he said there was a shameful story behind it, which he eventually told me. He was trying to prove himself after a traumatic event where he lost his career and his partner due to a mental health episode that he had. And so, all of his energy was going towards getting back what he lost. He was working one job to fund multiple businesses, hoping that one would pan out and hoping to prove to his ex that he was capable. So, we started with forgiveness of self and others, making peace with what happened and just creating acceptance around his past. And when he saw that I didn't judge him, it helped him to also let it go. And then he clarified his values and aligned those to his next best step forward. And once that happened, one of his businesses actually took off once he got clear on his next steps there. So, you know, with this step, this was really fundamental to me. I had developed a compassionate voice in my head a long time ago as part of my journey. But this one was really transformative for me. Because I used to really believe that I needed to find the perfect job to feel fulfilled. And even after getting that job, I got my perfect job. And I realized the fulfillment didn't last. And once I aligned with my higher principles, like, you know, integrity, truth, compassion, I found that meaning isn't in what you do. It's in how you live. So, when you live in integrity with your values, any role that you do can be meaningful, whether you're parenting or leading a team or working a part-time job. Like, the job or the relationship becomes an extension of your purpose, not the source of your purpose. In a lot of healing spaces, I found that, you know, one of the ways they get off track is that feelings are placed above everything else. And that's understandable because many people have spent years disconnected from how they feel. And so, connecting to feelings helps you feel human again, helps you feel yourself again. But it's not a stopping point. If we make our feelings the compass, we get stuck. And then we're always chasing the feeling. But feelings can be hijacked. They're hijacked by fear, by old wounds, by desires, by avoidance. Feelings fluctuate. They react. And they are important and they do have something that we should listen to, but they're not a map and we shouldn't use them as a map. Okay, so part three, step three, this is just as important as the first two because if we want lasting change, a foundation of love and alignment with principles is essential, but it's not enough. Without structure, we're relying on willpower to bridge the gap between our insights and taking action. And willpower runs out, especially when we're tired, overwhelmed, triggered. That's when we start fighting against our feelings again, defaulting to our old patterns and abandoning the things that we said matter to us. But when we have systems and routines designed around our values, they carry us forward. And so, they make aligned action automatic instead of effortful. So, our systems and routines, they don't have to be rigid. And I don't even think they should be. They simply make it easier to do what you have to do. So, you know, a simple system, here's an example, a simple routine is laying out your workout clothes the night before so you don't have to waste time deciding what to wear. It makes it easier to go for a run. Or, you know, you can create systems and routines for anything. You can create it around having more community in your life, around being a better partner, around communicating with your partner. Personally, I have very easy systems that I follow that take the energy out of the things that used to cause me overwhelm. So, I know exactly what I'll wear each day. I know what I'll eat. I know when I'll exercise. Like, I have a system for the content that I'm going to create for my business and as well as like how frequently I'm going to post content. So, like, I'm constantly updating and refining those systems to work even better. But they're not a prison for me. They're something I can step into and it just kind of carries me through the process. So, it's not that negative talk never comes up. It does. It's just that it has no power because my decisions and my actions are aligned with my systems and my systems are aligned with my principles. They're not aligned to my feelings. So, like I said, feelings are still valid and important but they don't get the decision-making power. Sometimes feelings can feel so strong though that they are debilitating and in those cases they have to be explored with compassion, not with judgment or forcefulness. Like, we might have to reflect on, okay, did I take on too much too quickly? Is my body trying to protect me from something? If this is the case, you don't force your body to adapt. You partner with it and so maybe you need to slow down, give it safety or reassurance and make sure that it's getting enough food, rest, sleep, things like that. So, it's not that we're just powering through our feelings all the time. Like, they matter. We need to see what they're telling us but they don't get decision-making power. This method works really well. It works really well and it's because it doesn't seek to get to externally get its needs met. The external world becomes something to give back to, to be in service to. So, our needs become the gaps that we see and the gifts that we give back. And so, this is like at the, you know, once you've kind of worked on yourself for a while and you're ready for that next step, it's really about like what comes next. So, for example, like, if part of my wounding is that I don't feel included, I make sure to include others. If I feel betrayed, I make sure that I show up in truth. Like, this is the pathway to freedom. I don't look outside of me to get my needs met. And something like, for example, there you do get certain needs met with community and relationships and things like that. But those I'm talking about are those like core wounds that just like no matter how much you give them, it just feels like it's never enough. I would call those like hungry ghosts but I won't get into that here. So, going back to the negative self-talk. Okay, so the negative self-talk is built on limiting beliefs and getting needs met. The strong mind method has a completely different foundation and structure. This is built on the, this is built on your true self. This is why it works. The negative self-talk doesn't completely disappear, but it loses its power. It loses, like, you can, you can see it. You can be like, oh, there it is. It's trying to infiltrate. It's trying to penetrate me, but I see it. And I see that it's not me because I am so aligned with my values that I see when something is not in alignment. Also, the negative self-talk is helpful, actually, because it will, it will tell you when you're out of alignment. So, it might be like, you know, am I falling into self-judgment and lacking compassion? You might have to ask yourself these things. Like, am I over-committing my time to things that are not most important in your life? Because if you're out of alignment, your self, your negative self-talk is going to get stronger. And so, you should think of it more as like a warning, not like an, oh no, I've fallen back into this. It's just a warning. So, this isn't just a method. It's a whole transformational program that I put together. So, I'm going to shift into speaking about this unique program offer, and then we'll have time for some Q&A and some coaching if anyone's interested in doing that. So, this is not just, it's not just the steps that make this program work, the three steps. It's the method behind it. So, this program is something that I've gathered like my best tools and my best resources for. So, it combines educational content to teach new concepts, one-on-one coaching to work through stuck areas and provide accountability and bring you back on track. It includes reflective prompts and exercises so that everything is applied and tested in your daily life. And it's a fun process. It doesn't feel like work because you're getting to see the results and gain confidence. It's designed for a busy schedule because all of us are super busy these days. So, the educational content can be accessed anytime. It's a one-on-one program, so the start date is flexible. And the whole program is customized to fit your life. It's typically a 60 to 90-minute commitment each week, and that includes the coaching. And it can be short like that because a lot of what we're doing doesn't take time, it takes practice. And you get to practice in your everyday life. So, when you're getting triggered at work, like that's when you get to practice, so it doesn't take extra time. So, while the purpose is to become more of your true self, the program naturally leads people into true leadership. And I don't mean running a company, I mean you become someone who leads by example. People look up to you when you're guided by principles. They notice there's something different about you. Your inner strength radiates outward and people naturally trust you. They look up to you. They want to be like you. And so, you have the foundation, structure, and systems to accomplish anything that you set your mind to with this. You become a better partner, a better parent, a better employee, manager, boss. Just to share about a client, Jenna, she was a CFO of a large company and the only woman in an executive role in that company when I was working with her. And she was showing up to meetings feeling like she was looked down on, like she didn't belong there. And in our work, we aligned her to responsibility instead of to her fears or her negative thoughts. And then, she was almost immediately able to start to shift how she showed up in that space. And instead of feeling like I don't belong here, she was really focused on like how can I be more responsible to my role and filling in those meetings. And she was really giving herself a voice because the responsibility she knew that she had outweighed her fear. So, that's what she was aligned to. It's kind of like when you have a kid, you're like these things that used to scare me, now I'm a protector. So, now I'm going to step into that role and I'm not scared anymore because I'm protecting them. It's similar to that. So, this program is offered in three or six month intervals. So, I'll share a little bit about what it includes. And keep in mind, the value is not the cost. So, the pricing there is about values but not the cost of the program. So, this includes self-paced video curriculum. So, it's going to guide you through the educational content. And I mentioned that before. So, there's also the weekly coaching calls to support breaking through limiting beliefs and strengthening your decision making and making traction in key areas of your life. There's also, you know, you really need to think about who you are and how you want to show up in the world. So, I've included really carefully crafted reflective prompts and practices to accelerate you through the program and see faster results. And then I also follow up in between coaching sessions with customized reflections to keep you on track and aligned with the direction you're moving in. So, the StrongMind program opens August 18th, a week from Monday. It's a flexible start date. So, you don't have to start the day it opens. It's a one-on-one container following a proven methodology and framework. And I have a couple sign-on bonuses for people that are interested. So, if you sign up in the next 72 hours, you'll get $1,000 off a little over that of the pricing. You get an extra one-on-one 75-minute video call with someone in your family. And then a bonus module on strengthening relationships if you sign up for the six-month program. And I figured out the math on this and what the cost can be of doing this on your own. And of course, you can. Like, it just it could take a little bit longer. But creating this path and process for me was a longer than five-year period. And so, it costs a lot of time and money. And, you know, during that time, I wasn't able to hold down a full-time job because my issues were so intense that I needed to like really give myself some downtime. When I did research on this, I found that people tend to spend around $10,000 to $50,000 over a 50-year period on self-help. So, for me, this program really solves that issue because, like, I don't spend any money on seeking out solutions anymore. Like, this has been so shifting and transformational for me. And then, I really focus on marriages and career burnout because the costs are so much. The energy, the time, and the relationships. So, career burnout has, you know, costs with physical health, financial loss, existential crisis, loss of identity. So, it's a huge pitfall for a lot of people. In the work that I've done, I know at least 15 marriages that have been saved in our work together. I know the cost of divorce. My dad had a very messy divorce. And some of my clients are very wealthy and they lose a lot more than like $300,000 in a divorce. They're financially decimated and they're also emotionally decimated. There's a huge fallout with the kids and family. So, it's absolutely just a devastating process. And I want to personally help as many people as I can to not have to go through that. Or at least if they do, to really get everything they can out of their current relationship. Like, work on everything they can before they have to get to that point. So, to recap, this is not a one-on-one coaching container by itself. It's a full transformational program that you're getting. So, it's a proven system that will carry you forward. So, I'll get into the cost and the investment. So, I have two options to join. I have a six-month transformational arc. That's more recommended for people that are like really ready to elevate fully sustainably. That's where the more powerful growth happens because you really have that like strong steady support throughout those six months that keep you accountable. I also have a 12-week intensive, which will give you a focused start, full access to the curriculum, and one-on-one support for a powerful and strategic beginning for you. And, you know, for the next 72 hours, I mentioned that I'm offering over $1,000 off the price. So, as well as a monthly payment option. So, I wanted to mention here, too, that this is about the same as what three or six months of therapy costs. It's actually probably lower than that. Friends that I've talked to are paying almost $300 for each therapy session. So, for weekly or even bi-weekly sessions. So, I really wanted to make this sustainable and, you know, make it a good offer for everybody here. So, I'll send some information out after the call, too. So, as I start, if you sign up now, you'll get the $1,000 discount, but space is limited because I'm only opening up to five spots right now. I want to make sure I'm fully focused on taking only a few people through this container. If I fill up too much, I'm not going to be able to provide that focus support to people. So, I'm keeping the spots limited. And, you know, I just want to share, too, that, like, I'm not hiding anything. This is the secret to my own coaching. Like, this need becoming this is why I've been so good as a coach, why I've seen such huge transformations as in my clients. And so, this is probably the lowest I'm ever going to offer the cost to. I'm trying to keep it really low for people to get in. If you're a coach and you're interested in learning this program, too, for your own coaching, you're welcome to join as well. And it's important to get on the path yourself. And then as part of, like, the one-on-one calls, probably part of that would be around, like, how to apply this to the clients that you're working with. So, there'd be, like, a mentorship of your clients that we're involved, too. Okay. So, one of my clients, he said that this has been one of this has been the single best investment that he's ever made for himself, for himself, his family, and his company. It's helped him to become a better father, friend, and leader at the office. And another coach, a coach that came through my coaching before shared that my program helped him connect with himself in ways that no coach has ever been able to and gave him the tools he still uses to this day that have helped him emerge from a deep slumber, consistently improving himself for two years now. So, there's been really just amazing results I've seen with my clients. So, I'm going to send everybody a follow-up email after the call today with links to the recordings. You can re-watch it. You'll have access to it as long as you want. And then program details, as well. If you have any questions, you're welcome to schedule a call with me or email me with anything that you have. I had a lot of information here. So, I was talking kind of fast. Feel free to go back through the recording once I send it out and just, like, go through a little bit more slowly if you want. It might be helpful to kind of go into some of those concepts again. So, I'm going to stop sharing my screen here. And I'm going to see if there's any questions first. And then we can move into any coaching. So, let's see. Okay, I didn't freeze. All right. Okay. So, any questions? I'll just start there. I'll also put a link to the program in my chat box. Yeah. Or more like a reflection or it's not really a question, but maybe you might have something. So, I feel like some of the thoughts that I experience are actually judgment of other people, especially at work. Like, if I perceive, like, performance to be low or not doing their job, I get really worked up about it. And I think the judgment is, like, comes back. At the core, I suspect it's, like, judgment of myself for not being a good enough leader, you know, all that. So, I really like, you know, I really identify with systems. Like, okay, I, like you said, I have systems for all my life, all areas of my life. And it occurred to me, I don't have a system for interacting with those people. So, there's that. But I'm also wondering, is there, like, a pre-step to system? I think what I've learned in this session that there's, like, a pre-step that I'm probably missing. Like, judgment certainly doesn't align with who I say I am or who I want to be. So, anyway, I don't really have a specific question. That's just kind of what came up. No, that's a great question, actually. And I would say someone in your position, since I know you personally, I know you're a boss, you're running a company. And so, this is a common thing with someone in the position that you're in. And so, first off, like, if I'm working with someone through this in a coaching session, like, probably, I mean, we got to get to what, there might be an underlying attachment that's there that we need to look at, such as, you know, maybe your kind of, like, career goals or, you know, your ideas of, like, something being tied to success. But I think underneath, it's probably, like, an area where you need to lean a bit more in trust of your higher power and not so much performance. So, not to say that performance isn't important. Like, there would still be steps you would take to improve performance. But, like, ultimately, we might think that it's based on, like, my success is based on performance. And in a sense, it probably is. But there's the X factor there, too, which is there's something beyond you that has higher power and higher control than you. And so, to me, it's about aligning more to that and kind of letting go of, like, I can't control everything about this. People are going to make mistakes. They're going to whatever. And, like, how do I help them take, like, how do I inspire them to take more responsibility and mentor them towards that rather than be frustrated with them? So, like, the frustration, I think, comes from both, like, leaning more towards trust and working more on, like, you know, is there more mentorship that you want to do there? That I've never heard it put that way. Like, leaning in more towards my higher power or trust. There's a lot of I like that. Yeah. And, you know, everyone has different spiritual beliefs. But, like, in Buddhism, they would say that, like, you actually don't have that much control over what happens in your life. Like, around the thing. Yeah. It's kind of like, you just have your you get more you can figure things out more just by trusting in that higher power and doing your best. Yeah. Well, anyway, great question. Thanks. Thank you. Any other questions? Hi, Elaine. This is Ron. Do you have a age range that you think is most applicable for a program like this? That's a really good question. Actually, I've worked with teens, and they have done phenomenal. I'm actually very shocked about how well they did going through this kind of stuff, because when I was a teenager, I so wanted to make sense of the world. And so when I've worked with teens, like, it helps them step into their power much more quickly, their responsibility. So I've seen the teens that I work with just transform so much become like, empowered versions of themselves, like really, not that they completely let go of insecurity, but it doesn't rule their life anymore. So I don't see that age makes much of a difference. But the youngest that I've worked with through this, this methodology is 17 or 18. Thank you. Yeah. Hey, Elaine, is this program, is it all personal and one on one? Or are there group meetings with this group of five people that will be selected? Right now, it is one on one. And that's just because of the sensitive nature of like, what can come up with working on some deeper things. And some people might want privacy. But I'm also open to, you know, doing a couple group calls, if people want that. Sometimes it's helpful to hear other people's shares. Learn more about the format, too. Is it? Is it all just video calls? Or they're also like learning materials on an educational platform? Or? Yeah, it's, it's gonna be I don't, I'm not using an educational platform right now. I probably will in the future right now, it's going to be recorded videos that will be emailed via a link to access. So there's 12 modules that are going to include video content, prompts and integrative activities. And then, then there's meetings or every other week with me like the one on ones. And I did that because I found that like, I don't know, it just feels like time is moving so fast these days. And like, not that much gets accomplished in a week. So having an extended amount of time to really reflect on something and go deep into it and practice it takes, you know, a little bit more time, I think. And so I've made the meetings every other week to accommodate that and not put too much pressure on people, but let them slowly work through some of these changes. Makes sense. Thanks. All right, anything else, any other questions? I can stop the recording also and see if anyone wants to do any live coaching. So I'm going to do that right now. No pressure. And for those watching, thank you so much for watching. Please contact me with any questions that you have.