Fostering Positive Personal Changes w/ Sherry Fernandez

Welcome to Super Entrepreneurs Podcast. Today we have with us Sherry Fernandez. How are you Sherry? I'm good. I'm good. I'm really grateful to be here. I look forward to this interview so I'm excited. Yeah same here. I'm grateful to have you as well. So I know you're in personal development and you have unbelievable experience and I'm very much passionate about personal development as well and I wasn't before. I spent my most of my life with the you know the outside in paradigm and it was it was it was hectic. It was frustrating. It was you know it wasn't a very smooth sailing type of a life and then when I when I realized hey I can make changes in my world from inside out is like wow and I haven't stopped since. So I'm very much excited to speak to you today. It's kind of addictive isn't it? You start the happiness and personal growth and the peace then you want so much. You accomplish something. What else can I do? It's been a long journey for me. I started in my 20s and I'm 67 now so I've been doing this. Tell us more. Tell us more about that. The journey. It's when the first media company that I worked with they wrote up this big thing about Sherry's you know this big kind of blurb Sherry's rags to riches story and I was like I never thought of it that way but really it really truly was that exactly. You know at 20s like I had a child and was married and I just I knew when I was younger that I wanted great things but somewhere I lost it my party days you know and I don't know. We're just my husband I were just we can't even we're working so hard and we're barely able to survive and I mean barely able to survive without the help of occasional help from other people. I don't know if we would have survived but we knew that we wanted good stuff and great stuff and I wanted not just financially which we did. I wanted financial freedom but I also wanted to have my children and have a still have a sexy rocking body. I thought I could do both and I wanted just my education right so I need to be self-educated. That time had passed for me to go to school as it turns out self-education I'm not gonna say it's in place of but better than formal education in many ways. So I got the education and the relationships I didn't want to do things my parents had done the relationship wise. So I just wanted everything and I just knew it was possible so went to work personal development and I started reading books and listening to people as much as we could. We had a big family and but we both did that and we set a goal to have a million dollars by the time we were 40 be worth a million dollars. This is back in the 70s so million dollars and we did that. We went to work but I mean it wasn't not a big I don't want to make it sound like it was a big leap forward. It was teeny little steps because that's all we've got right and I worry sometimes in this in the age of social media when everything's right there people the young people think oh I just if I just do the make the right decision I can leap over to this goal and it's just little steps that I just learned that but the little steps doesn't take very long for them to add up to something big. So can you share what I'm so sorry can you repeat that? I said that's all you've got is little steps I think is all I was saying. So you had a wonderful you know and and you're in that place right now especially that desire for kids. You know once we become parents we that's all that our focus you know tends to be is what we can do better for them and how can they have a better life right but there's situations where we want them to do so much but there are parents that are you know struggling with their teenagers or kids and they want them to go on the right path and especially with mindset they can achieve so much more right or personal development. Do you have any recommendations for parents of that nature what they could do to open the doors of conversation and get them on board with personal development at an early age? Well the whole thing about it is personal so you can't really lead anybody to it but here's the best thing and I had six kids so I think I have some experience and I've been teaching both kids children and adults well teenagers and adults and young adults most of my life. This is a deal you do it and you let them watch you and then let them ask you know be open about the personal development that you're doing let them watch you do it. One wise man said that my father never taught me how to live he just lived and let me watch him do it. You will teach so much more by your own example and they'll want what you've got rather than cramming it down their throat but on the other hand there could be formal teaching we always have met with our family once a week to just teach, learn, grow together so you know you have opportunities then to maybe do a formal thing or child comes you like I'm really struggling with this thing well here's a practice that helped me maybe it will help you. Trying to convict one thing I would really really just I can't even say strongly enough with children your children even if they're adults your job is to believe in them wholeheartedly so you never want to send a message that makes them feel like you don't think they're good enough the way they are. So you got child is overweight you wait for them to come to you and say I'm really unhappy about my weight and then you say well what can I do would you like to go to see somebody I mean I'm happy to help you but you don't like well stop eating that junk you know what I mean you just don't don't let them you got to believe in them and and teach them by your example. Do you work with kids as well? Not children actually I said children but teenagers I did I have I don't know right now but I have worked for nine years I worked with teenagers and then I spent some years teaching classes one class a week to college age students and most of my work now is either speaking workshops or one-on-one mentoring to adults that's what I do now. Hmm and what does that look like what kind of client is your ideal client? Most of my clients are until just this last this last few that I've gotten I've been all over the years have been 35 to 50 year old male entrepreneurs this is who I attract but my husband and I are both very entrepreneurial we have a lot of businesses we understand it and also I thought about it I wonder why that is and it's because entrepreneur people's doing their own thing they don't have the training that they might get in a corporate situation you know where they're getting ongoing you have to find their own training and they have and they need more help with balance when you've got a dream like a business it's easy to get out of balance so I think that's one reason why but but right now just coincidentally I have almost all women I only do I don't that many time I'll do about four to six at any given time and I have five women and one yeah so that's what I have right now. That's great. Now for entrepreneurs for example there are entrepreneurs that are pushing their business like they're working hard they're doing what needs to be done on a daily basis and if you bring up personal development for example they feel like you know they they have it packed like they know what they need to do but they're also not feeling the fulfillment you know not feeling good but because they're feeling overwhelmed too much work what would you say to someone like that in your world to help them make a decision to get help in personal development like grow the internal world? That's usually why they do come to me is because they know that things are out of out of balance it's not so much their business goals although we do deal with those but they know that maybe families getting neglected they need some help with the discipline and the habits that they know that will help them actually be more successful and they know this you know you ask anybody if they think if they're more fit they'd make more money there but in fact their bottom line though I'll say yes they just don't know how to get it going you know how to fit it into a busy life they all know that their home life is good their business life will be better everybody knows this and they at least sense it but it doesn't translate a lot when you've got demands and people shouting and wanting from you and you've got this business you're worried about sometimes you just don't know how to do it all and I won't work with anybody who just wants training in one thing so they know that coming in with working with me I work on eight areas and I ask that they set goals in all eight areas or I'm not even interested although nobody's really done that they know that going in they've read the book or or they know me well enough to know that we work on all eight areas of life and that's what they want and also the other thing with entrepreneurs is this is an interesting thing you probably you're probably one of these people they have a gazillion ideas like they have all these ideas they've got this business but also it's idea for this business maybe this business and maybe they could do this and so another one of my roles with them and I like that I love that mentality that brain because that's how Ken and I are I help them get focused on one thing so they can do that and then put the other things aside until they get this one thing done because they tend to spread themselves too thin trying too many ideas and then they lose the whole thing so that's another thing that that's a really good idea let's put it in our idea book and get back to work on the thing that we're working on here yeah yeah no that's very common and the entrepreneur drive because you know you won't be no we got so much inside us so so much luck that we just want to go and do and I feel that clarity and that focus you know it comes on it comes from self-awareness right like to be actually self-aware and work on that self-awareness you find that clarity you find that focus is there any pointers that you can share with the audience that could help them become more self-aware well obviously I hate to use this phrase it's gonna become very popular but still identify with it mindfulness practices being aware of what what you're thinking we talk a lot about meditations and people are doing a lot of I don't think I've talked a lot about this I didn't get up on this little thing a little bit but they'll say I do I meditate well what do you do well I listen to this app that's not meditation that is a nice calming thing but meditation is spending time with your own thoughts so that you can be aware of what you're thinking about so if you're on the go all the time you've got all these ideas and things first of all you need some peace in your brain and second of all you need to be aware of what you're thinking now why is it that I want to start that idea or why is it that I think that's true and you can't really do that without time alone with you with quiet brain so I would recommend meditation and there's lots of kinds of meditations I teach one that I borrowed from Julia Cameron called morning pages where you just people with a really busy brain you just write stream of consciousness writing for three pages every day just no matter what happens you write and I Mike I've got three clients doing this right now they're all just raving about how effective that is and I've done it as a meditation because it's helping you do one thing at a time and helping you be aware of what you're thinking so it's a meditation right so that's what real meditation is but you've got that kind of a practice can really calm down the brain and make you more aware what you think about all day long yes yes so true thank you for sharing that you know because we all know the help is definitely needed in the world we see it all around us you know it's just it's just something that needs to be done personal development is the key to growth and I'm grateful that you do what you do and especially with all your experience and how you're helping people with that experience is wonderful that's great can you share with us what your morning routine looks like because with that much experience I know there's some some gold there in the morning now one of the first things I do was this actually the second thing I do which I do quite soon and then we work on the whole time people coach with me is we work on daily routines weaker on daily habits and that we track them and it looks like a you can show you this is a tracking sheet I just started mine for December first day of December so it looks something like this this is a rough one I'm working on a planner developing a plan so that's kind of a good so I the first thing keep the phone off that's the first thing phone goes off if I either before I go to bed or before the first thing I get a phone goes off no before you look at it and then the first thing I do is prayer and then meditation and then I make a smoothie real quick so I've got some because I believe in eating fairly early in the day then I go back to my desk and I do spiritual study I do reading the boat educational study I write my affirmations I plan my day I write in the journal I do those things and then I work that's cool I've got about two takes me up to two and a half hours to do that all of that hmm yeah similar to mine mines around that to two three hours something like that just depends but isn't it amazing your day how it goes when you do that work first thing what do you do I don't know you do yeah sure thank you I'm honored that you asked me usually people don't ask so morning what I do is I first I write in my journal and I saying this journal because back in the day when I heard someone that they wrote in a journal I was the guy that would be laughing like I I didn't I didn't know any of this stuff I was just outside of it right so but now yes I've been for years now journaling so what that is is that I put in three or four paradigms that I'm changing at a goal so what I do is I write them out with a lot of feeling every morning each of those to shift in to that belief in my subconscious so I work on that and then after that I read think and grow rich a little bit and then from there I I work out and then after working out like at home I just have one of those dr. you know Jack John Jaguars his system I don't know if you heard of it but it's just those bands the bar yeah yeah so I do that and then I meditate about 50 minutes and then I get ready and that's it you know when you call journaling is something that I teach is written affirmations kind of very similar exactly the same but similar where I teach a written affirmation those I write those every morning you write those and they're like so powerful that writing that writing is so powerful and whether you're doing the morning pages or the journaling or you're writing affirmations pen on paper is just you can't beat it for oh so magical yep it is it's and there's there's science behind it you know it's not just but there's some way that we tap into our to our subconscious and our non-conscious brain we can bring things forward that we can't just yes you especially typing it into a your cell phone that's good I'm so sorry I said that's a good routine I like it oh thank you very similar we have very similar routines it's not coincidental though as I look at high achievers people have been very successful they all have well first of all they'll have morning routines that they call it like they yes they make in violet like nobody interrupts me this is my time no first thing in the morning before anything else yeah and they usually draw from the same pool of things you and I do there's usually things that are some something spiritual something physical educational yeah mindful those kind of things and I don't know if I there's in my world there's any exceptions of the people who I either know or studied who don't do that that are successful human beings not just except you know we say successful we usually talk about money but but successful people not just financially financially for sure but physically and with their relationships well yeah all people they do those things they just do and so not a coincidence we have similar routines yeah it's true and you know when we do this morning routine it actually is there's a it ignites something right it ignites something for the day and it kind of it's like a it's like a recharge from the previous day and when you do it you find that it's like a brand new it just it just has some kind of a power behind it the day when you do have a morning routine when I didn't have a morning routine I would just go right into a phone like just emails and and messages you know and it would just start frustrating because they're always that one one email that would frustrate you right if you're living from outside in and it would just kind of put you at a very low frequency and but now when you elevate yourself with a morning routine you can continue the elevation if you do it long enough and another key I think is and you probably know you can agree with this Sherry is the consistency because when you're doing the morning routine it brings you persistence because you make a deal with yourself I'm not gonna miss a day so when you're not gonna miss a day and you make it like you know it's not comp there's no compromising on it that you're just going to do it that gives you that that paradigm of persistence as well I feel exactly it's that in that season and don't miss a day I was saying I'll do all these things or I'll die trying I don't really die trying but I just say that's the attitude that you have to have this I come first because you're feeling your own cup and the things here's the thing so when I started doing some of this well I started I started in my 20s but somewhere in my 40s it kind of really coalesced into a thing where I really realized that yeah no matter what else happens I have to do me if the laundry because I got the six kids we've got ballgames and dance house and a business that we're running and we were heavily involved in the community and church it was just a lot but I figured out pretty quickly in that during that time my life if I took care of those things first everything else went okay and they didn't get done they could be done tomorrow but I couldn't my job today's workout can't be done tomorrow today's prayer can't be prayed tomorrow today's meditation can't be done and on my day I would feel fine at the end of the day if I took care of me it sounds selfish but it's not selfish it's you take you take care of yourself so that you can function well for everybody else and you said a couple of times about from the inside out by the outside in it's who you're becoming that that draws success to you you become every day that one day that morning routine you're becoming I'm not just a more disciplined person of course that's huge but those things are adding up to change you so every day I do these things I'm becoming something better you know little baby steps is all you've got those baby steps add up pretty quick and they lead to a successful yeah you only got this one life you want succeeding in in the finances is great or in the business but you only got this one life to live so this is living if you do these things every day you've got this balance in my perspective this is life this is how you live it in the fullness always living for that big deal higher we have those you probably really have discovered that those emails that used to go to you right away they probably go away by that by the time you get to me the disasters over the problems over yeah you know I know one guy he doesn't even look at his emails until 4 o'clock in the afternoon everybody knows this by 4 o'clock he said there everything sticks I mean everything's resolved there's hardly anything he needs to deal with that interesting yeah that's cool and I family started turning my home I didn't miss a thing I think I've got all the kids and grandkids I got 21 grandkids oh somebody might need me hey you know they don't I'm not yet had a time where I miss some emergency yeah no definitely Sherry can you share with us what you feel your innermost superpower is that got you to this point house by my passion I passed in my drive but I had to disavow I did not come self-disciplined I had to work on this I was very undisciplined myself into that problem in the first place is I drank too much I partied too much didn't go to school didn't take care of money spend too much money so then I'm all of a sudden thinking I'm in a hole you know I'm way behind everybody else yeah because it's just my lack of self-discipline so quit drinking quit doing the party thing you know got married got serious and went to work but so yeah do you guys still party once in a while no not that way drinking not that way but you still right get a you know we travel all the time yeah that's good we go out to dinner every night we keep our evenings awesome we just play in the evenings but so we do like that we have friends who think we do but now I'm that that drinking thing there's nothing there's nothing first of all I had an alcohol problem so I can't go back there but there's no real you know it just makes you know things and and it was getting the way of what I really want and I knew that I knew that early on that I couldn't have it both ways so but seriously I talked to this young person the other day and she said she said I'm not gonna drink anymore she said nothing good ever comes out of it you know why'd I say that stupid thing or do that stupid yeah so yeah I got things to accomplish to do that yeah exactly you know that's great Sherry you know I I genuinely from my heart I wish you all the best and what you're doing and your work that you're doing with others I get super excited when I interview people from this world because the impact that you guys are making it's it's not just for today is generational like it's it's you know it's a it's a worldwide paradigm shift you know like the more we do this the more people like you are out there doing great work the more people full feel fulfillment feel happy may be able to have this journey in a more beautiful way so I do definitely respect what you do and I appreciate you for coming on the show today and you doing it too right we're doing it together and there you go that's what happiness comes from yes it's from being the best you can be every day that's that's yeah yeah so that's great Sherry would you like to cut sorry no I didn't say anything okay that was would you like to kind of share anything your last your final thoughts to the audience anything anything that you want to share yes we kind of talked about about it and around it but if you want you're on your life to be different the world to be different your relationships to be different if you don't like things the way the politics are going or social trends are going anything out there you don't like world hunger weirdly enough it all starts with you you change you and the only way you can in the world is you change you you want to influence your children change you want a better marriage change you it's it's a universal principle yes only thing you can change this so beautiful well said Sherry thank you again an audience thanks again for joining us for another episode really appreciate you guys being part of this show and helping us grow and having the ability to meet a wonderful people like Sherry and share their message with you all and also you should share the episode with your friends and family because we always look at the world and we're always looking at who has cost something to us or what has that what has gone wrong in our circumstances we're always looking out we're always pointing while I was trying to figure out what's going on but like Sherry said if you kind of look in the mirror and work on ourself and become more self-aware the beautiful thing is that the other things they start to become better I don't know how but it's I mean I know how but it's just there's there's is this energy right and when you vibrate at a higher frequency when you're feeling good and service to others and you know about you if you know about you you can help others that puts you in a place where you will see more growth in your business and you'll see more success and financially or growth wise with calmness and Sherry mentioned calmness as well and I love that word thank you again and thank you so much Sherry